Why is this always the default "advice" of women?

[sazc]

People say "talk to them about it" because they want to help but don't know what else to say.

I think talking is the most over rated thing in our society when you want change/action out of someone. Many people these days are infested with selective memory retention and seem to conveniently forget to agreeing to things they don't want to do. Whenever I am with a woman and I want serious action out of her, I do it through text, Email, or FB so I have a written record of what she agreed to do, or not do. Verbal words from people when I want change or action from them tend to have no more value to me than the sh|t I flushed this morning. This is especially true with work and women, but it can also roll over with friends and family too. At least in my experience.

Lol, total cop mindset!
Documentation is always a good thing. Selective memory occurs and so does difference in initial perception/processing. Two people can see exactly the same thing and process it totally differently.

Just was sitting on a bus watching someone trying to park. They were tapping the car in front and garbage bin behind -small space. There was a gentleman on the sidewalk gesturing at the car trying to park I thought the gentleman was a friend trying to help but trying then that had more space to pull up, another person thought it was the owner of the car being trapped, saying "you hit my car"

Same event, totally different prescriptions. It happens, and it happens in earnest.

 

[The Duke]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Because this is what women naturally do. You can read all about it in the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".

 

[Bokanovsky]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Because in their mind, when things don't work out, it's never their fault. Even when they subconsciously realize that they screwed up, they blame it on "lack of communication".

 

[Von]

Because in their mind, when things don't work out, it's never their fault. Even when they subconsciously realize that they screwed up, they blame it on "lack of communication".

Some women realize its their faults.

Sure, you have to "talk about it"

If they admit its their fault you know she loves you

 

[ubercat]

Well just go talk to her about it is the standard adviceevyou see on every rom com. And then what happens in the movie. The woman talks circles gives some some great mixed signals. Which makes for a fun movie but is lousy in real life. Sazac and BeExcellent r great posters. But I think there is a Grain of salt that needs to be taken with their advice. When they are posting their using their analytical side. Don't forget your DJ 101. Emotional logic is a woman's primary mode. Don't underestimate emotional logic it's a useful tool it just works on different assumptions and has its own tautologies.

And don't forget polarity. The basic principles you are the rock. A bit of selective ignoring can go a long way. I'd suggest any time a woman wants to talk about a potentially loaded subject the first thing to do is stall. So yeah babe we should really talk about that it's really important. I'm a bit busy tired whatever tonight let's talk about that tomorrow night when I can really give you all my attention. 80% of the time whatever mood she was in will lhave past the next day and you will never have that talk.

Now obviously if she does bring it up or if she's in a bad mood still 3 days later than you do need to talk. When you do talk remember woman communicate and directly so try and understand the feelings behind the words because the words will probably just go in circles. And it normally just comes down to insecurity of the week.

Believe me if you talk to them too much you ll find your living your life inside a soap opera. Men are about action go do something instead.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Lol, total cop mindset!

I was thinking the same thing lol. I'd rather just speak with the same passion/emotions they did when they told me whatever because then they tend to remember it more since there is something to feel it by. Plus, giving background context that led up to them saying whatever it was, plus my reaction afterwards definitely helps them remember.

 

[sazc]

I was thinking the same thing lol. I'd rather just speak with the same passion/emotions they did when they told me whatever because then they tend to remember it more since there is something to feel it by. Plus, giving background context that led up to them saying whatever it was, plus my reaction afterwards definitely helps them remember.

I forget sh1t...I just don't mind copping to it. I am wrong a fair amount of the time. My ego isn't rooted in being right

 

[RangerMIke]

Men don't need to 'talk' to solve issues, but women do. If you are in a relationship with a woman you have to let her talk things though. It really is a pain in the butt, because she really isn't interested in your advice or solutions, she just wants to vent and blab... if you are in a relationship, you have to put up with this... You have to turn off the TV, and give her your complete attention and listen to every thought that crosses her mind... You have to really pay attention and ask questions so she knows you are listening.

You will know when you are done with all that when she is in a better mood. I don't understand how this exercise in listening and patience really makes a difference, but women need this. So if you are going to try and make something work long term with a chick, you will have to sit thought stuff like this periodically.

 

[The Duke]

If you are in a relationship with a woman you have to let her talk things though. It really is a pain in the butt, because she really isn't interested in your advice or solutions, she just wants to vent and blab... if you are in a relationship, you have to put up with this... You have to turn off the TV, and give her your complete attention and listen to every thought that crosses her mind... You have to really pay attention and ask questions so she knows you are listening.

You will know when you are done with all that when she is in a better mood. I don't understand how this exercise in listening and patience really makes a difference, but women need this. So if you are going to try and make something work long term with a chick, you will after sit thought stuff like this periodically.

Exactly how it works. Its all about validation. When you actively listen, let them know you understood what they said, and show empathy you in turn validate their precious feelings. Makes little sense to me, but its how it works.

Few women care about actually solving anything. Its why they carry so much baggage forward in life. Its why they live with so much drama. Its why they need pills and wine to function past 35!

 

[devilkingx2]

let's face it, we all flunked mind reading.

speak for yourself lady

 

[ubercat]

True that. If u didn't get at least a C pass in mind reading your relationship will turn zombie and start biting your mental health.

 

[devilkingx2]

So, as a female I should "give sex sparingly" because that is my currency?

if your interest is in powergaming for maximized returns then technically yes. however, since that only works on betas, you'd have to have entered the relationship with the mindset of having a minion to control in the first place to get any use out of it.

Higher quality females are going to take a lack of attention as a bona fide lack of IL, and they will walk.

depends on what "lack of attention" means in that context. if it means ignore your girlfriend for a week until you want to smash, then I agree with you. but if it means not texting your girlfriend 24/7 when you're not together and doing other things with your life in the mean time, then I disagree with you.

 

[Urbanyst]

When you state a problem you're having in your relationship, their default advice is "Talk to her about it".

Women give horrible relationship advice.

Because a female that values you and the relationship is going to want you to be happy, so she is going to listen and want to figure out a mutual solution.

In a perfect world, but not in the real world.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Talking about it doesn't always work... actually it probably rarely does. This is the logical, reasonable way to solve problems and unfortunately, women aren't quite wired like that.

If you bring up ANYTHING that will make her experience a negative emotions, you are definitely an *******.

Personally, I turn it into a joke, just so she's aware then I laugh at it, spank her ass.. something like that. 98% of the time, she won't say anything but then I see literal changes in what I brought up.

Here's an example where I failed. It's her job to do the laundry. I ran outta sock one time and told her (too seriously or neutraly) that she shouldn't wait until the laundry basket is full to do it. Basically, I was blaming her and she felt guilty. Her argument was that I should tell her when I am about to run outta socks... which I replied, "anytime the laundry basket is near full, I'll run outta socks"... obviously didn't help at all. She was just pissed and I was an *******, although I was right the whole time.
Here's an example where I did it right. That one time, she did a grocery run and got a bunch of stuff, including blueberries but it was clear she had no inspected them and they were just nasty, wrinkled and moldy. Instead of bringing it up to her, I instead waited until she was around then I had some blueberries. Then in a very jokingly tone, I said something like "eewww those blueberries are wrinkly and moldy! You failed *****!" and slapped her ass. Reality is she prolly had some herself and realised she had picked ****ty one so I didn't really need to remind her but when I did, it was in a "who cares, no biggie" blatant way. We jokingly swear or call each others name like that so she knew I was being sarcastic and she just laughed it off. That's it. Point passed, no point in discussing more about it. I think this is a key point here, being able to pass your point without getting into an argument. Say what you have to say then switch subject. Usually, she will think about it on her own then I'll see that she readjusted. Next time she gets fruits, she'll jokingly ask me if they're up to my standard... it's fair game
Most of the time, the reason people get in argument isn't the argument itself... it's simply they're growing bored of each others and are trying to find reasons to leave each others. Who cares about blueberries ultimately.. or whatever else little stupid thing you or she's bitching about right?