"3-Date Rule", but still physical - not Friend Zoned?

[ThisNThat]

I had situations where women I would date, we'd make out and such, but not have sex because she wants to feel a certain level of trust.

Some here have posted that if you haven't had sex an "X" amount of times, that you'll be forever in the friend-zone. But, usually the FZ means the woman won't even let you touch her, right?

The last woman I was with said she had a handful of long term relationships (low milage), in her early 40s and said every guy she was getting serious with, in the beginning, she'd even sleep with them, but no sex beyond making out/feeling each other up, etc.

She did eventually wind up in long term (5 years) relationship with them (5 each). So there's proof the 3-date rule isn't a general thought across the board there...as everyone is different.

I mean, all the FZ's I was in, there was no contact whatsoever, except a quick hug hello. So does making out, w/o sex mean you're not friend zoned?

 

[AlphaNate]

You're making out with them, but you aren't escalating?

 

[ThisNThat]

You're making out with them, but you aren't escalating?

Yes, I am. The last woman I dated, although she would let me feel around, when I would attempt to even put my hand down between her legs, even graze it outside of her clothes...she's move my hand to another part of her body and say she isn't ready for that yet. Yes, we still had our clothes on. She would let me go under her pants on the back side and let me feel up her arse though. But apparently even grazing between the legs was a "Sorry, I'm not ready yet."

But, same drill with her previous boyfriends apparently.

 

[Roober]

There is two trains of thought on this...

1. Women that make you wait are often better LTR prospects, as in they tend to have lower mileage
2. She has already pegged you as a provider and is pulling you into her frame - probably got pumped and dumped in the past, or sees you as a long term prospect

I believe there are some women who legitimately make all men wait. And 3 dates is not really that bad. Often times, if you are hitting the right buttons, it will be then or sooner. For example, my ex said 3 months, but it happened on the third date, about 1.5 months in. My exwife was the second date, and she had really low mileage, 2 other partners. It really varies though...

It just really depends on what you want. To me, I would probably cut someone off if no sex by the 4th date. Sometimes logistics just don't allow it, and sometimes the woman is just not into you enough. Too many factors to really have a hard rule. The sweet spot seems to be about 2-3 dates. But I am not one who goes for easy first date lays either.... at least I haven't yet...

Something that does seem to hold true though is that women who make you wait... the sex is usually not worth it.

 

[Glassguy]

Good points Roober.

Most women who have high interest are putting out on or before the third date. I rarely try to knock boots on the first date. I try to walk away leaving them wondering if I am even interested. And most of my first dates are meeting up for a drink or two, chit chat and light keno and leaving.

It seems to be an easy way to pull them into my frame.

This entire topic is a case by case issue. If a woman is smoking hot, low miles and seems very into me, I have waited until the 5th or 6th date before she gave it up. I was spinning other plates so I was still getting laid, so her waiting around didnt bother me.

I've had great sechs on first and second dates and great sechs on 3rd and 5th dates. Poor sechs on all as well. If the woman is kinky and can screw, it doesnt matter when it happens. But its my choice to wait. The more plates I am spinning, the longer I will give a chick to drop bottoms because I have abundance and a care free attitude.

 

[ZLin]

I had situations where women I would date, we'd make out and such, but not have sex because she wants to feel a certain level of trust.

Some here have posted that if you haven't had sex an "X" amount of times, that you'll be forever in the friend-zone. But, usually the FZ means the woman won't even let you touch her, right?

The last woman I was with said she had a handful of long term relationships (low milage), in her early 40s and said every guy she was getting serious with, in the beginning, she'd even sleep with them, but no sex beyond making out/feeling each other up, etc.

She did eventually wind up in long term (5 years) relationship with them (5 each). So there's proof the 3-date rule isn't a general thought across the board there...as everyone is different.

I mean, all the FZ's I was in, there was no contact whatsoever, except a quick hug hello. So does making out, w/o sex mean you're not friend zoned?

Hey ThisNThat

You aren't friendzoned. Seems like you read some stuff on friendzones and don't want to be in one.

You will only be friendzoned if you aren't showing interest in her sexually...

Hope it helps!

 

[Trump]

I had situations where women I would date, we'd make out and such, but not have sex because she wants to feel a certain level of trust.

Or she wants to look good in front of you. Pretend she is innocent after all her high school and college years.

Some here have posted that if you haven't had sex an "X" amount of times, that you'll be forever in the friend-zone. But, usually the FZ means the woman won't even let you touch her, right?

Not necessarily. It's not ALL or NOTHING. A young girl I was dating let me touch her like crazy, I was friend zoned a few hours later.

The last woman I was with said she had a handful of long term relationships (low milage), in her early 40s and said every guy she was getting serious with, in the beginning, she'd even sleep with them, but no sex beyond making out/feeling each other up, etc.

I wouldn't trust anything a 40+ single women says to you. She has an agenda and wants you to fit in it.

She did eventually wind up in long term (5 years) relationship with them (5 each). So there's proof the 3-date rule isn't a general thought across the board there...as everyone is different.

I mean, all the FZ's I was in, there was no contact whatsoever, except a quick hug hello. So does making out, w/o sex mean you're not friend zoned?

Who knows bro. You are asking an emotional question based on her feelings. But if she can hold out having sex with you as long as possible while her ego is fed/she gets stuff from you, she will.

Personally I think you are wasting time by date 3, or you are not that attracted to her. If she was good looking you would be screaming by date 3.

 

[AlphaNate]

I wouldn't trust anything a 40+ single woman says to you.

Fixed that for you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

"Something that does seem to hold true though is that women who make you wait... the sex is usually not worth it"

LOL this!!!

 

[nismo-4]

He's more like in the beta-alpha border. But is all about where she is. I'm willing to bet his princess is in another castle.

Reason being, she's denying him sex, but there's someone she isn't denying sex. Or, a better looking man she's chasing but not getting, and the OP is just an emotional, ego boost providing stopgap.

OP, next time, try rejecting her. See what that does for you. If she tells you she isn't ready, pull out your phone and call another girl in front of her. She is not that attractive anyway.

 

[devilkingx2]

Some here have posted that if you haven't had sex an "X" amount of times, that you'll be forever in the friend-zone. But, usually the FZ means the woman won't even let you touch her, right?

being friendzoned(verb) means that the girl shuts you down and puts you in the friend zone, this means that if/when you try to touch her you won't be allowed.

being in the friend zone (noun), eventually means that you can touch her, because unless you grab her tits everything you do will be non-sexual in er eyes so she won't care

if she lets you grab her ass you probably aren't friend zoned

 

[devilkingx2]

don't wait longer than maybe 5 dates to get laid, any longer than that and either your game is unsalvageably botched with this girl or you don't want to deal with her BS

on the other hand, give her at least two dates to bang you, 2-5 is the general range that 99.9% should fall into, sex on date 1 or 2 is on the fast side (and that's a good thing), 4 or 5 is on the slow side

the last thing you want to do is enable some bar slvt who found jesus minutes before meeting you (but not at any other time in her life) by waiting until she's 'ready'

although I'd sooner say OP's issue is one of not correctly navigating ASD(anti-slvt defense)/LMR(last minute resistance), than one of dealing with prudes