Where have all the men gone?!

[sazc]

Some would argue it is emasculating for a man to get married in the first place.

I find most married men to be more docile and malleable than single men. Something about getting married makes a lot of men soft. Either that, or a lot of tough men are fake and putting on fronts to get women. But they are actually soft and being with a woman over time uncovers their real nature. Hard to say if its one or the other or both.

One thing I know is my relationships always fail because I don't change and adjust to what girls want.

It is very much a shame that women have the affect of thinking that they can change a man. It is detrimental to the relationship.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I think the defining quality of a man is his intelligence. Obama trumps the ignorance of Trump any day of the week..

 

[NSX-R]

Testosterone , brain and instinct.
These 3 can define a real man.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Testosterone , brain and instinct.
These 3 can define a real man.

A man needs a strong drive, instinct, libido etc. But the essential element is the driver.... the rational element that can guide and direct that energy. The best image is Plato's charioteer:

https://aquileana.wordpress.com/201...hariot-and-the-tripartite-nature-of-the-soul/

 

[Tenacity]

Hmm, on the one hand they occupy the highest office in the land. On the other hand, they all literally had to beg hundreds of millions of people to put them there, and bend over to special interests as well. A politician is a prostitute, plain and simple. But then again, they're in that chair, so the ends justify the means.

I wouldn't say they "begged", they did what any other business person in this country does. They uncovered an unmet need and provided the solution that said market/audience wanted to fulfill the demand.

Some good points.

No one is a complete alpha male or beta male. Some people have more of one quality than the other.

I consider both Obama and Trump to be alpha males, just different types of alpha males with different alpha male qualities. Obama's alpha quality is he is not very emotional and he is always confident in his decisions regardless of what people say. Trump's alpha quality is aggression and a domineering attitude along with always being ready for a fight and being fearless.

Both have beta qualities too. Trump is too reactive. Obama is not aggressive enough.

You're making great points, points of which that I've been trying to get across to this audience for a couple of months now.

I do not believe any man is one-dimensional, such as being a Beta Male or a Alpha Male, etc. I believe we have characteristics of BOTH and to succeed in society, you are going to HAVE to have characteristics of both.

I don't consider myself to be a Beta Male nor an Alpha Male, I consider myself to be a Balanced Male.

 

[Tenacity]

The terms are useful in so much as to describe behaviour, mindset, and all manner of things.

But the one-dimensional aspect comes from trying to define IN MASS, every man's behavior, mindset, and manner of things.

- For example, to Deesade it might be "beta" to get up and sing karaoke to a chick on open mic night. To Deesade that might look like I'm supplicating to her.

- To Tenacity, who routinely loves to be the class CLOWN, getting up and making an a.ss out of myself is FUN. By the simple fact that I'm doing something that I want to do and that's fun (to me) to do, that (in my mind) makes me "alpha".

The thing is though, is that Deesade's version of "Alpha" is not necessarily Tenacity's version of "Alpha"....but if we are both living life the way we WANT to live (for the most part), then we should be both considered ALPHA.

 

[sazc]

The thing is though, is that Deesade's version of "Alpha" is not necessarily Tenacity's version of "Alpha"....but if we are both living life the way we WANT to live (for the most part), then we should be both considered ALPHA.

wasted breath, deaf ears

 

[Urbanyst]

It is very much a shame that women have the affect of thinking that they can change a man. It is detrimental to the relationship.

I think what happens is most women get into relationships either to fit in socially or because they are worried about aging. They get with men they are not compatible with. Then they try to force the man to change in a way that satisfies their own needs.

The whole thing is a little bizarre to me. Its like most women don't know how to live and let live. I think it has to do with women's needs constantly changing and its not practical to find a new man every time your needs change. At least not after a certain age.

 

[sazc]

I think what happens is most women get into relationships either to fit in socially or because they are worried about aging. They get with men they are not compatible with. Then they try to force the man to change in a way that satisfies their own needs.

The whole thing is a little bizarre to me. Its like most women don't know how to live and let live. I think it has to do with women's needs constantly changing and its not practical to find a new man every time your needs change. At least not after a certain age.

I think you are giving females too much credit in terms of why they choose men whom are not compatible. I agree that some females get into relationships for social reasons, but I dont think women go that deep in their minds. The aging thing comes into play more so at 32 ish.

I really do reflect on/within myself when I try to answer these questions 'for' you guys, because I've seen this exact behavior in myself (I can change him!) and it led to misery, for both people, and I like to try and give honest insight/feedback. The only answer I can find within myself is the idea that, for some reason, females are led to think "if he really loves me, he will change for me" and the other tried and true one (sarcasm) "Ill make him love me so he will want to change". Of course, females whom have grown up in households where the female mother was alpha, have no other model to reflect back on. They firmly believe the man will change for the female, because that is what they saw.

That lesson, "you cant change someone" is important on it's own, in terms of simple friendships.But I really dont ever remember my mother sitting me down and saying "you cant change a man (or anyone for that matter) so don't waste your time trying, so figure out what you are looking for and find one that meets your needs.

I dont think females needs constantly change. And, in general, part of that problem is that our needs, men and women, change over time. What I really think happens is that women (and men) are not coached to really consider who they are, and what they really want/need in a partner., and take that into consideration when they are selecting.

Personally, I do look back, at a fair amount of stuff - stuff that i know now - and wonder why there was no parental coaching from my 'rents, on many topics, not just this one.

P.S. before anyone decides to pick apart my post, or debate/argue with me, this is just where I come from. I dont ever presume to be able to speak for all females and/or want to be put into a position to have to defend my thoughts, when I tell you who I am.

I definitely dont think I am a unicorn

 

[Urbanyst]

I think you are giving females too much credit in terms of why they choose men whom are not compatible. I agree that some females get into relationships for social reasons, but I dont think women go that deep in their minds. The aging thing comes into play more so at 32 ish.

I really do reflect on/within myself when I try to answer these questions 'for' you guys, because I've seen this exact behavior in myself (I can change him!) and it led to misery, for both people, and I like to try and give honest insight/feedback. The only answer I can find within myself is the idea that, for some reason, females are led to think "if he really loves me, he will change for me" and the other tried and true one (sarcasm) "Ill make him love me so he will want to change". Of course, females whom have grown up in households where the female mother was alpha, have no other model to reflect back on. They firmly believe the man will change for the female, because that is what they saw.

I dont think females needs constantly change. What I really think happens is that women (and men) are not coached to really consider who they are, and what they really want/need in a partner. Part of that problem is that our needs, as human beings, change over time. But I really dont ever remember my mother sitting me down and saying "you cant change a man (or anyone for that matter) so don't waste your time trying." That lesson, "you cant change someone" is important on it's own, in terms of simple friendships.

I do look back, at a fair amount of stuff, and wonder why there was no parental coaching involved on many topics, not just this one.

P.S. before anyone decides to pick apart my post, or debate/argue with me, this is just where I come from. I dont ever presume to be able to speak for all females and/or want to be put into a position to have to defend my thoughts.

The issue with women is they seek out excitement in men, while men usually seek out excitement in their hobbies, interests or work. This is why most men want women to stay the same. We see them as a source of comfort after a day of dealing with the crazy world. However, women (I guess) find most worldly matters boring and seek out excitement in relationships. That's what they like to talk about. Not sports, scientific discoveries, politics, cars, theories, etc. I'm generalizing of course.

Another factor is the fact that people in general are never satisfied. Think about this. You get a new iphone. You love it for a while. Then you want a better one. You get a great job with good money, but eventually you want to make more money. Your favorite band puts out the best album you've ever heard, but eventually you want them to make another one.

Our brains are wired in a way that we cannot be happy with too much consistency.

 

[sazc]

The issue with women is they seek out excitement in men, while men usually seek out excitement in their hobbies, interests or work. This is why most men want women to stay the same. We see them as a source of comfort after a day of dealing with the crazy world. However, women (I guess) find most worldly matters boring and seek out excitement in relationships. That's what they like to talk about. Not sports, scientific discoveries, politics, cars, theories, etc. I'm generalizing of course.

Another factor is the fact that people in general are never satisfied. Think about this. You get a new iphone. You love it for a while. Then you want a better one. You get a great job with good money, but eventually you want to make more money. Your favorite band puts out the best album you've ever heard, but eventually you want them to make another one.

Our brains are wired in a way that we cannot be happy with too much consistency.

(btw I edited my post a bit)

Yea...that excitement you refer too might also be related to that 'honeymoon period' feeling of swooning. It takes a really grounded woman to know that this period WILL end, and be ready for the real day to day trappings of a relationship/partnership.

I agree, we tend to be a disposable society, in many ways, including relationships. This is where spinning plates comes in handy. You get to know the female for a bit to determine if you and she are compatible.

 

[Urbanyst]

This is why some guys are completely lost when a woman dumps them. They lost their identity to the relationship.

I see this with some friends that stop being sociable when they get in a serious relationship. No one hears from them for a time. Until, finally, they end up at your door randomly one day telling you that they've broken up.

I think this is what happens when men buy into the female frame of being defined by their relationships instead of by their minds.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I think what happens is most women get into relationships either to fit in socially or because they are worried about aging. They get with men they are not compatible with. Then they try to force the man to change in a way that satisfies their own needs.

The whole thing is a little bizarre to me. Its like most women don't know how to live and let live. I think it has to do with women's needs constantly changing and its not practical to find a new man every time your needs change. At least not after a certain age.

Their realities [the pressures outside them] and their desires are mismatched. Feminism inflates their desires, they then desire to change reality. But reality will always win out.

 

[SkrooU]

Isn't it emasculating for a guy when his wife earns more than he does, and probably always will? That seems like there would always be this unspoken shift of power in the relationship.

No. My wife earned much more than I did for a few years. It was never a problem. She was very generous. If someone views marriage as a power game and money as a way to gain power over someone, then I guess it would be a problem. Maybe I was lucky.

 

[Tenacity]

What I think we all should keep in mind and take away is the following:

- There is no one-dimensional definition of ALPHA. Your ALPHA might not be MY ALPHA.

- Your goal should be to discover who you are, your passions, your desires, and your natural personality ....then seek to build upon that and be the BEST VERSION OF YOU that you can be.

- Your goal should be to determine what TYPE of women you are attracted to and make sure your personality fits into the culture of said women. Another guy's "HB7" might not be your HB7. One guy said Michelle Obama was a damn HB4, Michelle Obama to me (with all of that A.SS) is a damn HB6 at least.

 

[sazc]

things make me chuckle

 

[EyeBRollin]

I still don't get how you guys on this site call men in the most POWERFUL positions on the planet, AFCs and Beta Males lol. For the simple reason that they are in said POWERFUL position, should disqualify them from an AFC or Beta Male category.

I voted for Obama in 2008 but not in 2012, but I do not in any way believe Obama is some pvssy, AFC, Beta Male, or any other cartoon character label that the anonymous guys from the Manosphere want to create lol.

And Michelle Obama is a HB4? Looks are subjective, Michelle Obama is a representation of Tenacity's HB 7 and higher. She's sexy, black, body is banging, etc.

Obama does what he HAS to do to continue his party's progression. He's a damn liberal, he has to continue selling the women's liberation, women are equal, women are great shyt. That does NOT mean the man allows his woman to walk the fvck over him behind the scenes. I can see and the world can see, that Michelle clearly respects Barack.

This entire notion that there's only ONE WAY to be an Alpha Male (you must fit the cartoonish description/display provided) is just insane. It's honestly why a lot of these guys on this website continue to struggle with women, it's because instead of trying to develop their own personal personality, expand upon that, and build upon that......they are fvcking busy trying to LIVE UP to some cartoonish Alpha Male description that doesn't fit reality, isn't reality, will not allow you to FIT into reality, and makes no fvcking sense at the end of the day.

One of your most insightful posts. I concur with Michelle Obama also. The body is crazy. She looks great for her age.

 

[synergy1]

Some good points made on this thread and some comments about Obama and Alpha males which don't seem to jive.

I think women routinely complain about men because they don't really know what they want. If a women is reasonably attractive in their 30s, and hasn't been able to hold down a steady boyfriend, its likely their own choosing. The women in their 30s who claim to be educated or whatever don't seem to care about the same in men. When you talk to them and try to figure out what they are looking for, its a canned response. They don't know because you can look back to examples of how they have dated something other than what they claim they want.

One thing I have found in my area with the women I date is a lack of responsibility and ownership. Simply put, they never assume responsibility for anything. They believe the world owes them something, and have no qualms doing to someone something that would be inexcusable if the shoe was on the other foot. They are childish in their 20s, and even 30s only to wonder where the men have gone too when they can no longer rely on their looks to get men of any type of caliber. Mind you this is a sample set in a small part of the country consisting of only single women. But again, when a statement like 'where have all the good men gone?" presupposes that they don't exist, which is false. These women focus on themselves, and not the actual content of the men they date whereupon they will always be disappointed because their prospective husband doesn't drive a bugatti or run a hedge fund.

To the women who take this view (I know its not all of you):

Take some ****ing ownership for a change. Be datable. Date the right type of men. Be realistic. You want equal rights, how about assuming an equal share of the responsibility. High quality men work their asses off and have endured rejection in every walk of life from jobs, to promotions, or dating. Being overweight, boring, or pedantic is a turn off. Just because you are a women doesn't automatically command respect. Earn it like the rest of us, and maybe you'll get some respect when it comes to dating.

The good guys aren't gone, you aren't into them. And perhaps, they also aren't into you.

-Love Synergy
​

 

[Who Dares Win]

Ask them why they are ready to spend their monthly salary for the new model of a bag while they wont use an old model one even if they got it for free.

Now tell them that the old model has been used and is kinda ruined yet costs as much as the new one if not more...then ask them again the first question.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What kinds of degrees did these super smart ladies get?

Here's the answer to that: