Want to virtually eliminate flaking? Try this...

[BackInTheGame78]

There is one piece of advice that I have tried and tried to follow but have had mediocre at best results while doing it. And that is "going ghost" from the time you set the date until the actual date.

I know this is some "sacred" ploy according to many on here, but I'm here to tell you it's a bunch of BS. In fact, over the last few months while ignoring this "commandment" I've had ZERO flakes. Zero. Zip. Nada. None. And lots and lots of sex with new plates.

So, I think it's time we re-visit this. And I am telling you if you are following this and are having flaking issues, stop following it immediately. I don't care "how much her interest level will rise" if I do this or "how much it will fall" if I don't...in practice, it just doesn't work that way, at least for me. Am I talking about texting her all day long every day? No. But don't be afraid to send the random text here and there up until and even ON the day of the date. So if there is a 3 or 4 day window until the date, I'm texting them on 2 or 3 of them, including the day of the date.

I've never had a girl not be into me once we met because they thought I was "needy", I've never had a woman think I'm "desperate and have nothing better to do" because I text them a few times a day here and there, and I've never had them "find out too much about me" and then not want to meet. In fact, its raised their interest level in me, to the point that I am the one almost always deciding if I want to see them again or not. I think only 2 out of the last 25-30 women did not want to meet me after the first date. I wasn't interested in 10 of them off the bat and then I whittled it down from there...

Currently, I am regularly banging 5 of them on a rotational basis, which is the most I've ever handled at once. I'm not sure where this whole "go ghost" til the date thing came from but I can assure you it is hurting a lot of you much more than helping you.

I am not interested in all these "must do's" to be successful...if something isn't working for me after I've done it for a long enough period of time, I'm going to question it and then see what happens if I do the opposite...in this case, the opposite has proved to give exceptional results...

 

[El Payaso]

It doesn't matter if you text her or don't text her. If she's not interested, she will flake. If a better option shows up, she will flake.

In fact, if she is interested, she will be the one to text you in the days before the date. She will be the one hoping you don't flake and hoping the date is still on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It doesn't matter if you text her or don't text her. If she's not interested, she will flake. If a better option shows up, she will flake.

In fact, if she is interested, she will be the one to text you in the days before the date. She will be the one hoping you don't flake and hoping the date is still on.

I disagree. I've done it both ways and there is no way that I have only been talking to "interested" women the past 3 months but before that had some of each...

Interest level can be very fluid before you actually meet.

 

[Bible_Belt]

One of the tricks my boss taught me about running a fight event - as soon as any of your scheduled fighters stop responding to text messages, scratch them off the card. They're not going to show up.

 

[9Volt]

There is one piece of advice that I have tried and tried to follow but have had mediocre at best results while doing it. And that is "going ghost" from the time you set the date until the actual date.

I know this is some "sacred" ploy according to many on here, but I'm here to tell you it's a bunch of BS. In fact, over the last few months while ignoring this "commandment" I've had ZERO flakes. Zero. Zip. Nada. None. And lots and lots of sex with new plates.

So, I think it's time we re-visit this. And I am telling you if you are following this and are having flaking issues, stop following it immediately. I don't care "how much her interest level will rise" if I do this or "how much it will fall" if I don't...in practice, it just doesn't work that way, at least for me. Am I talking about texting her all day long every day? No. But don't be afraid to send the random text here and there up until and even ON the day of the date. So if there is a 3 or 4 day window until the date, I'm texting them on 2 or 3 of them, including the day of the date.

I've never had a girl not be into me once we met because they thought I was "needy", I've never had a woman think I'm "desperate and have nothing better to do" because I text them a few times a day here and there, and I've never had them "find out too much about me" and then not want to meet. In fact, its raised their interest level in me, to the point that I am the one almost always deciding if I want to see them again or not. I think only 2 out of the last 25-30 women did not want to meet me after the first date. I wasn't interested in 10 of them off the bat and then I whittled it down from there...

Currently, I am regularly banging 5 of them on a rotational basis, which is the most I've ever handled at once. I'm not sure where this whole "go ghost" til the date thing came from but I can assure you it is hurting a lot of you much more than helping you.

I am not interested in all these "must do's" to be successful...if something isn't working for me after I've done it for a long enough period of time, I'm going to question it and then see what happens if I do the opposite...in this case, the opposite has proved to give exceptional results...

The lesson you learned? Don't take "advice" from jealous recluse kj "djs" who's mission is to fck others up with nonsense because they can't win with chicks.

 

[El Payaso]

I disagree. I've done it both ways and there is no way that I have only been talking to "interested" women the past 3 months but before that had some of each...

Interest level can be very fluid before you actually meet.

It doesn't matter if you text or not after setting up a date. If she is not interested or a better option comes up, she will flake.

You will not "virtually eliminate" flaking by constantly texting after setting up a date.

 

[RangerMIke]

The best way to deal with flaking is to not worry about it. It is what chicks do... they are emotional butterflies flitting about landing here and there...

If she flakes... don't waste your time... on to the next one. Really even if I had a fool proof way to keep chicks from flaking I wouldn't use it because I would rather she just flake with low interest than for me to waste time on a date that is going no where.... let her flake, it's part of the screening process.

 

[playa99]

I've found this to work in my experience as well.

This approach can also help you spot red flags before you meet, especially with bat sh!t crazy women.

I believe this only works if you are operating from a mindset of abundance.

 

[bigneil]

I've used the following rules exclusively:

1) On the day of the date, I don't initiate any text conversations. I do not send date reminders. She is guaranteed to text before each and every date or it will not commence.
2) After a date, I do not text them any follow up. She is guaranteed to text after each and every date or there will be no more dates. Some girls are not good at expressing gratitude, so accept any kind of initiation from her as the green light to plan another date.
3) At some point in the conversation, I've found she will stop replying to any small talk. This is because she is concerned I am avoiding asking her out (something she does to stall her men she has low interest in).
4) At some point, even if she hasn't replied, I will proceed with explicit plans for the next date. She always accepts warmly.

In general, allow for a couple of long, meaningful text conversations here and there but never try to start or maintain one, simply listen when she needs to talk. Use those opportunities to find out her secrets and you can establish a stronger connection.

Just with the first two rules, she finds herself doing the proper amount of initiating (she should initiate at least half the time overall if not more). With the last two rules, she also gets to feel as though she is being pursued. This is a healthy balance.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It doesn't matter if you text or not after setting up a date. If she is not interested or a better option comes up, she will flake.

You will not "virtually eliminate" flaking by constantly texting after setting up a date.

Once again...I think you are misunderstanding. There is no "constant texting" going on, just that I'm still communicating with her up to the date.

And I'm going to disagree. I think interest level is far more fluid initially than we would like to believe.

 

[Roober]

It's a mixed bag for me. I usually don't setup dates any more than 2 days in advance. I have noticed if they don't text at some point that day to confirm, she is likely flaking...

I may try reaching out a little bit the day before...

 

[bigneil]

The more interested she is, the longer in advance you can safely plan an event.

If she is really looking forward to seeing you she will make it obvious. She will say "I love this idea and I am SO excited!!! (heart). Should I get my hair done? What kind of shoes should I wear?"

If she instead writes "ok" you might not want to pay for the hotel in advance.

 

[RangerMIke]

@BackInTheGame78 You just are not getting it. From the minute you meet a woman until you take that where ever you want to go, a man MUST set the conditions where SHE is working for YOUR attention. If she does not put effort towards you then she will never really value you, because we do not value anything that is easy. No value = no respect, no respect = no love.

When you start texting like this you really are just acting like everyone else she knows, and she does not have to work to get your attention. Women WANT to chase you... this is fun for her, she loves talking to her friends and trying to figure out what is going on and what you mean. When you make things to easy for her, then you are boring. Men like comfort... we like things to be easy, we love it when all the cards are on the table. Women are not like this... they LOVE being confused.... they LOVE calling in the girls network to analyse your behavior. This is why being a mystery ALWAYS works to your advantage. When things are going well in a relationship with a woman, she WILL start fvcking with it... pushing your buttons. WHY, because she LOVES relationship chaos.

 

[Glassguy]

I have an easy process to check her IL.

Once we are texting, FB messaging, etc., I will pick a point to bail out. Unless she is asking ME a lot of questions (which proves interest anyways) the conversation normally hits a wall within the first 10 or so messages. That's when I stop responding.

She can either pick up the conversation, chance the subject to keep it going, or stop responding. The latter means lower interest level and I let it go.

On occasion, after a few days I will text her back something short and simple and see if she picks up the conversation again. Very simple.

I would never waste my time scheduling a date until I knew her IL was high from doing the above first. If I feel its low interest, I will just abort and put my focus elsewhere.

Its not that hard. Some women will SHOW high interest and flake, but that is not common at all. Most of the time you should see it coming when she flakes and should have bailed out long ago before she had the chance.

 

[dude99]

Once again...I think you are misunderstanding. There is no "constant texting" going on, just that I'm still communicating with her up to the date.

And I'm going to disagree. I think interest level is far more fluid initially than we would like to believe.

I think what el payaso is saying is too much blah blah blah, if she doesn't have very high interest in you, and you will wind up in the friendzone or just plain ignored.

She has to be interested for anything to move forward. Texting her up to the date or not.

 

[bigneil]

Women are not like this... they LOVE being confused.... they LOVE calling in the girls network to analyse your behavior. This is why being a mystery ALWAYS works to your advantage. When things are going well in a relationship with a woman, she WILL start fvcking with it... pushing your buttons. WHY, because she LOVES relationship chaos.

This is true. I recently observed this when I "messed up royally" and chose to end a relationship last month. I found out that (especially because I was ambiguous and also kind) it practically drove her crazy trying to figure out what my motivations were. When we got together again a few weeks later she told me how much she was hurt by it. I could tell talking to her that SHE was exhibiting oneitis signs, over-analyzing things, remembering my exact wording from weeks ago, etc. When I tried to reconcile, she was suspicious that the whole thing was contrived by me to get rid of her (it wasn't). Although I hadn't intentionally done it, I had unwittingly raised her interest level by breaking up with her. Now this technique can never be used again or it will end. Through this process she and I agreed that while things aren't perfect, neither wants it to end.

Another odd thing that seemed backwards: she had a one night stand 3 months ago and as much as I want to be angry, the truth is, ever since then, she has adored me like never before. Sometimes they can have a bad sexual experience that actually makes them appreciate you more. This has happened to me on numerous occasions and always with the girls who loved me the most after.[/user]

 

[ThisNThat]

lots and lots of sex.

I am wondering how "lots and lots of sex" is even gauge, unless you're not looking for a monogamous relationship?

 

[RangerMIke]

I have an easy process to check her IL.

Once we are texting, FB messaging, etc., I will pick a point to bail out. Unless she is asking ME a lot of questions (which proves interest anyways) the conversation normally hits a wall within the first 10 or so messages. That's when I stop responding.

She can either pick up the conversation, chance the subject to keep it going, or stop responding. The latter means lower interest level and I let it go.

On occasion, after a few days I will text her back something short and simple and see if she picks up the conversation again. Very simple.

I would never waste my time scheduling a date until I knew her IL was high from doing the above first. If I feel its low interest, I will just abort and put my focus elsewhere.

Its not that hard. Some women will SHOW high interest and flake, but that is not common at all. Most of the time you should see it coming when she flakes and should have bailed out long ago before she had the chance.

Maybe it's me and I'm just too old, but this just looks like too much time wasted. Why can't you ask them out... just ask her out and if she says anything other than "yes" or a legitimate counter for another time, then the answer is 'no' and you have low interest. Unless all this texting back and forth is somehow entertaining for you, why would you do this?

I think maybe there are men that believe they are building interest and trust with texting is the way to go. It is, if your destination is for her to think of you as a friend, she will trust you and be interested in you, but only as a gay male girlfriend.

 

[Glassguy]

Maybe it's me and I'm just too old, but this just looks like too much time wasted. Why can't you ask them out... just ask her out and if she says anything other than "yes" or a legitimate counter for another time, then the answer is 'no' and you have low interest. Unless all this texting back and forth is somehow entertaining for you, why would you do this?

I think maybe there are men that believe they are building interest and trust with texting is the way to go. It is, if your destination is for her to think of you as a friend, she will trust you and be interested in you, but only as a gay male girlfriend.

First off, if I get a number or whatever, I dont start with "Hey its Glassguy. Lets do drinks at 8pm on Thursday at such and such place". I have done that in the past and had FAR worse results.

I have virtually no flakes because I get into a small amount of conversation first. My style is as follows, from an actual convo last week from chick I met up with that later added me on FB:

ME: Hey Hey its Glassguy. Are you working or playing today?
Her: Hey there....I am off today. I work on z,y and z days. What about you?
ME: I work Monday-Friday at my business. Bankers hours....
HER: What do you do?
ME: I own a _______ business. You?
HER: I am a ________. So what made you decide to take my number?
ME: You have a cute look and I decided to see if you had some brains to match it. Can you hold a conversation?
Her: Yes...duh lol.

At this point of this actual conversation I STOPPED.

2 hours later:

Her: So why dont you tell me more about yourself?
ME: I would love to but I am super busy at work the rest of the day. Lets keep the particulars for when we meet up. Lets meet up at _____ Thursday at 8pm.
HER: Sounds good.....I will see you there. My cell number is ___________.

We met up last Thursday night for drinks and a replay this Thursday night.

Not sure why you think this is putting a lot of work into it.

 

[Red Legg]

You can never force interest,think about the women you like and don't like,it's nothing they did or didn't do you just like them because you like them.