Hi All,
I'm 25, English and living in France. Now I really need to get this off my chest as it is not something that I can say to anyone around me.
Now, I met this 41yo american lady in the US, with 3 kids. I met her in a group chat on an online singing app.
Now, let me be honest and explain my situation : 10 years together but not married now with my first GF, have a gorgeous daughter 3 years of age. And things are not as blooming as the first years : it's come to a state where I'm not allowed to have a life anymore, do sport, go out with friends etc. And her strong character has gone out of control. I've become very unhappy over the last few years.
Now coming back to this lady, I need to put the emphasis on the fact that in one of our very first conversations, She started complimenting me on my voice, asking me to sing in french saying that I'd sound so hot and sexy...then asked if I thought she was too forward. To which I had replied it was ok, no harm could be done. Anyhow, it seemed that, looking for a bit of fun, she wanted to sex chat and was searching for me to be more open, to my embarrassement, hesitant, I did become so, but couldnt help it. We did this for a few days, but then she asked for more, as of video, which I kept trying to avoid, not knowing where it would lead.
For some reason, I ended up accepting and We went a step further. But what happened next wasnt expected : We actually really fell in love, both of us. Not just physically, but in other conversations, We just got to know each other more and more and became addicted.
We then had everyday normal chat for 2 months, like a normal couple but long-distance. We managed to keep it up some time until one day, she said that We had to stop because it our story couldnt lead to anything as We would never be physically together....I actually took this as a real heartbreak and tried to go forward but I insisted we continued. Odd thing is that she was fine with it....and so we continued. Then stopped again , then restarted all because of the "impossible" relationship.
I must also point out that just before She contacted me, she had only just a few weeks before, put off a planned wedding...and I was told that I had helped get through the pain.
One day, She told me that He was back living with her, that they were trying again. But at the same time, she was still in love with me, and hiding me from him of course whilst we were still talking together.
He had become suspicious at one point when he came back, because me at our first "break-up" I had sent her a bouquet of roses to her house to thank her for everything and for lightning up my life... that is how much she meant to me.
Now, come today, the situation is slightly a bit different. She is still with this guy that pays her bills but she still loves, but she keeps repeating that she loves the both of us, and if I was physically there, She would have chosen me over him.
But She has come to the point these last few weeks, where one day she will say : "I wish we were together in bed cuddling up" or "I can't stop thinking of you here", and on the same day in the evening, She will then say "We need to stop talking to each other, Im so sorry to say this and to hurt you".
I don't know what to think. She is conflited by her feelings and even says so herself.
Now, something else is going to make this story more intriguing : I have booked a flight to actually meet up with her in January, and I shall be staying in a hotel for 4 days a few miles away from her house, in a big town.
She is aware of this, was very happy at first, talked about hotel room and etc and We kept thinking and saying to each other that we were dreaming about what could happen. Unfortunately, She keeps focusing on the afterwards, the fact that I will need to leave.
I told her that I needed to come, because I felt that something was incomplete and that this was both our dream, to physically see each other.
I have told her that We can meet up for a coffee and just see how things go. We could even act as friends. No harm.
She unfortunaltely did say that as much as she would love to meet me, that she couldnt make it happen because she would be in too much pain. I tell that I shall be coming anyway to the US as Ive never been and that my journey was not refundable (which is the truth) and I'd fully respect her choice.
To which she replied : "If you come, I will see you. I'm nervous about it but I will".
Now, I understand that I have most probably insisted to much on this relationship and been blinded by love but now Ive put myself in a situation where We could most probably meet in person. But this is in 2 months time, and in the meantime, our only conversations dont included any love messages, We talk as friends.
I need an opinion on what I should do, if we can just simply see each other in person, have a coffee and not have our first chats and videos in mind?
My only wish would be to be able to hug her tight when I see her (not necessarily more than that)..but hoping for the same reaction from her.
Im ready to to travel the world just to see her....We cant predict the future, but can dreams come true?
The story as a whole makes me realize that I am a bad person, because I am currently still in a relationship in France and have a child...so please kindly judge the story and not me.
I'm 25, English and living in France. Now I really need to get this off my chest as it is not something that I can say to anyone around me.
Now, I met this 41yo american lady in the US, with 3 kids. I met her in a group chat on an online singing app.
Now, let me be honest and explain my situation : 10 years together but not married now with my first GF, have a gorgeous daughter 3 years of age. And things are not as blooming as the first years : it's come to a state where I'm not allowed to have a life anymore, do sport, go out with friends etc. And her strong character has gone out of control. I've become very unhappy over the last few years.
Now coming back to this lady, I need to put the emphasis on the fact that in one of our very first conversations, She started complimenting me on my voice, asking me to sing in french saying that I'd sound so hot and sexy...then asked if I thought she was too forward. To which I had replied it was ok, no harm could be done. Anyhow, it seemed that, looking for a bit of fun, she wanted to sex chat and was searching for me to be more open, to my embarrassement, hesitant, I did become so, but couldnt help it. We did this for a few days, but then she asked for more, as of video, which I kept trying to avoid, not knowing where it would lead.
For some reason, I ended up accepting and We went a step further. But what happened next wasnt expected : We actually really fell in love, both of us. Not just physically, but in other conversations, We just got to know each other more and more and became addicted.
We then had everyday normal chat for 2 months, like a normal couple but long-distance. We managed to keep it up some time until one day, she said that We had to stop because it our story couldnt lead to anything as We would never be physically together....I actually took this as a real heartbreak and tried to go forward but I insisted we continued. Odd thing is that she was fine with it....and so we continued. Then stopped again , then restarted all because of the "impossible" relationship.
I must also point out that just before She contacted me, she had only just a few weeks before, put off a planned wedding...and I was told that I had helped get through the pain.
One day, She told me that He was back living with her, that they were trying again. But at the same time, she was still in love with me, and hiding me from him of course whilst we were still talking together.
He had become suspicious at one point when he came back, because me at our first "break-up" I had sent her a bouquet of roses to her house to thank her for everything and for lightning up my life... that is how much she meant to me.
Now, come today, the situation is slightly a bit different. She is still with this guy that pays her bills but she still loves, but she keeps repeating that she loves the both of us, and if I was physically there, She would have chosen me over him.
But She has come to the point these last few weeks, where one day she will say : "I wish we were together in bed cuddling up" or "I can't stop thinking of you here", and on the same day in the evening, She will then say "We need to stop talking to each other, Im so sorry to say this and to hurt you".
I don't know what to think. She is conflited by her feelings and even says so herself.
Now, something else is going to make this story more intriguing : I have booked a flight to actually meet up with her in January, and I shall be staying in a hotel for 4 days a few miles away from her house, in a big town.
She is aware of this, was very happy at first, talked about hotel room and etc and We kept thinking and saying to each other that we were dreaming about what could happen. Unfortunately, She keeps focusing on the afterwards, the fact that I will need to leave.
I told her that I needed to come, because I felt that something was incomplete and that this was both our dream, to physically see each other.
I have told her that We can meet up for a coffee and just see how things go. We could even act as friends. No harm.
She unfortunaltely did say that as much as she would love to meet me, that she couldnt make it happen because she would be in too much pain. I tell that I shall be coming anyway to the US as Ive never been and that my journey was not refundable (which is the truth) and I'd fully respect her choice.
To which she replied : "If you come, I will see you. I'm nervous about it but I will".
Now, I understand that I have most probably insisted to much on this relationship and been blinded by love but now Ive put myself in a situation where We could most probably meet in person. But this is in 2 months time, and in the meantime, our only conversations dont included any love messages, We talk as friends.
I need an opinion on what I should do, if we can just simply see each other in person, have a coffee and not have our first chats and videos in mind?
My only wish would be to be able to hug her tight when I see her (not necessarily more than that)..but hoping for the same reaction from her.
Im ready to to travel the world just to see her....We cant predict the future, but can dreams come true?
The story as a whole makes me realize that I am a bad person, because I am currently still in a relationship in France and have a child...so please kindly judge the story and not me.
