What do you screen for before you decide to enter a LTR ??

[Bingo-Player]

I've just had a nice weekend with one of my plates, she’s ticking a lot of boxes and I can tell she’s working very hard to try and attain GF status

I have to admit I am yet to find hardly any red flags with her, she says im the only guy she’s sleeping with openly uses her phone in front of me and only females & family seem to contact her,

if I ask her a question she doesn’t hesitate and always sounds like she’s giving me an honest answer, she pays her way on dates and is laid back we talk about anything and everything,she

initiates sex with me and is a very pretty girl

The only one I found was that she came out of an intense LTR around 8 months ago, she said she found out he had been cheating on her and she ended it

Says she has dated other guys since but she has never felt as comfortable as she does with me

I’m not getting any younger and I’ve done the whole “sleep with as many women as you can thing” to death

I guess I am ready for an LTR but I am conscious they can come with their own pitfalls if you aren’t extremely careful with who you choose

I have absolutely no experience in LTR’s and to be honest I don’t even know what I should and shouldn’t be looking for …….

Any guys on here with LTR experience want to share some tips ??

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've just had a nice weekend with one of my plates, she’s ticking a lot of boxes and I can tell she’s working very hard to try and attain GF status

I have to admit I am yet to find hardly any red flags with her, she says im the only guy she’s sleeping with openly uses her phone in front of me and only females & family seem to contact her,

if I ask her a question she doesn’t hesitate and always sounds like she’s giving me an honest answer, she pays her way on dates and is laid back we talk about anything and everything,she

initiates sex with me and is a very pretty girl

The only one I found was that she came out of an intense LTR around 8 months ago, she said she found out he had been cheating on her and she ended it

Says she has dated other guys since but she has never felt as comfortable as she does with me

I’m not getting any younger and I’ve done the whole “sleep with as many women as you can thing” to death

I guess I am ready for an LTR but I am conscious they can come with their own pitfalls if you aren’t extremely careful with who you choose

I have absolutely no experience in LTR’s and to be honest I don’t even know what I should and shouldn’t be looking for …….

Any guys on here with LTR experience want to share some tips ??

You may screen to see if they are "fair" and if they "share", also to see if they are out for "self". I even knew some guys who checking if a female was all about "self" was a red flag that they'd drop them, because they felt they wouldn't relate well.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I posted this a while ago. I think I applies when considering entering into an LTR:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rules-to-live-by.235277/

-Augustus-

 

[Serenity]

This was pretty much the checklist for my GF.

- Remains calm and does not react uncontrollably to most things.

- Offers to contribute on dates. Like paying half, has a good sense of fairness and balance.

- Can laugh about edgy jokes instead of taking it seriously and going all political on it.

- Is honest about everything, what she says doesn't give the slightest reason for suspicion.

- Has rock solid integrity on particular points, like cheating and where the boundary is.

- Can handle talking openly about most subjects without freaking out or going awkward.

- Treats me nicely, but yet isn't afraid of joking around. (Nice girls are no more fun than nice guys). Stops before it goes too far, intuitively understands when it's too far.

- Communicates rationally (believe it or not guys, women like this exists).

Sure I could add lots more points. But if she generally just seems very open and honest, then I'd say it's a good sign. If she shows reactionary and defensive behavior then it's a warning sign, could be nervousness over trivial things or it could be really serious. If you get a strong sense something is off then get to the bottom of it, but be clear not to make something like that up in your mind.

If someone does something wrong they usually also have a tendency to lie. So if they don't lie and you accept what they're honest about it's all good.

If things keep up as they do now it's natural to enter a LTR, but it has to continue like that forever for it to last that amount of time. If honesty keeps breaking so will the relationship.

 

[GoodOne123]

Whether or not I want to leave after I bust my nut.

 

[Roober]

One concern I have for you is the "I'm not getting any younger". How old are you? That mentality is blue pill All the way. However, to the point. .

All good stuff above, I would add that...

- she is ambitious. Get a woman that will make as much or more than you
- she does little things for you. Gifts, cooks, random little things.
- interests. Do you guys legitiately share interests or is she adapting to yours? Not everything, but you definitely have to have things in common.

The key with ltr. You have to be the same man now that you are months or years from now.

How long has she been a plate?
Do not ask for a relationship, let her do it.

 

[xstang77]

Honestly if she covers the basic qualities it's up to you it's a risk you take, we can tell you what to look for all day but it's still just taking a chance, woman fall out of love over night. So assume it'll end badly and just enjoy your time together.

 

[Von]

Just do it

 

[9Volt]

You may screen to see if they are "fair" and if they "share", also to see if they are out for "self". I even knew some guys who checking if a female was all about "self" was a red flag that they'd drop them, because they felt they wouldn't relate well.

exactly. which was why I dropped my ex. tried to give her a chance a few times. had to drop her.

 

[9Volt]

she already knows how to sell herself given her statements, its going to be difficult to screen this one. You may not see any red flags for a good 3-6 months. Its very important to protect your heart during this time. You want to look for:

Quality female friends as opposed to mostly guy friends.

No exes around

Substantive morality

Stable, nuclear family background

No past or present history of substance abuse

Hard worker

No mental health issues

Past boyfriends don't show a negative pattern, or any pattern with you as the outlier


Some things that may come up around the 6-12 month range:

More accurate picture of her past sexual history

Pathological behavior

Selfishness

Narcissistic traits

Mood swings

Nagging and nitpicking

^^^this pretty much covers it.

make a list of all the good and possibly bad traits. if the bad outweigh the good. it's best to not bother with an ltr. if the good outweigh the bad? see how things go.

 

[wifehunter]

Integrity, character.... Is she honorable?

 

[Dingo]

Screen all you want..... whatever check list... whatever qualities you use...

Over time they ALL change and usually not for the best.

 

[ubercat]

I don't screen. Spin plates. Bad behavior/attributes drops them down the order. Good raises them up. At 10 dates ish or about 3 months a semi decent chick wants to have the talk. My Crystal Balls aren't any better than anyone elses. Give it a shot.

 

[Bingo-Player]

ok thanks for the input guys general consensus seems to be feel her out for 8 - 12 weeks and leave her bring "the talk" up

her family is stable , there doesn't seem to be a long list of ex boyfriends only the one , she has a job , her own money and she can drive

also seems to be a nice mix between lady in the street and freak in the sheets

i haven't met a girl like this before i never really believed they existed , so i am treading very carefully

 

[Slash Dolo]

A brain and an interesting personality.

I haven't been in a relationship in a while.

 

[Desdinova]

I basically have two categories I place women in when I'm screening for LTRs:

1) potential LTR lasting up to 1 year
2) potential LTR lasting longer than 1 year

Women are initially put into category #2 unless certain things show up. Some of these things include:

- Having kids
- Her age if she's over 23
- Having orbiters
- Bad behaviour
- Problematic family background
- Lack of respect
- Lack of responsibility

I don't want to have an extensive LTR with a woman who has these attributes. However, I may tolerate her for a while because the companionship is fun and enjoyable. However, when it comes to a point where I can no longer tolerate one of these attributes, she gets the boot.

 

[ubercat]

Respect can be a funny one. They love to creep up to the line then run away

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

The main consideration is the (potential) transient nature of women and therefore relationships ni nearly every respect.

she says im the only guy she’s sleeping with openly uses her phone in front of me and only females & family seem to contact her

-This is only what she tells you, and only what you see when you are together. Though I don't like to nay say, sometimes what people say and what they do are not always congruent. And, even if they are apparently congruent now, they don't always stay that way.

The only one I found was that she came out of an intense LTR around 8 months ago

-This is a good sign. She has taken time to recover, reflect and get it out of her system.

she said she found out he had been cheating on her and she ended it

-This is a yellow flag. She will have some residual hang-ups about it, will likely have your behaviour under a microscope if you do agree to go exclusive.


In general, I'll say go for it and try it out, especially if you don't have the experience. It's a great learning experience, even if it's a bit rough in parts. Just beware that people, circumstances and feelings do change over time, regardless of the situation now. As I've paraphrased before, and LTR is a practice marriage; that's at least how most women will view it, as should you.

The game does change in LTRs and you'll probably have more specific questions if and when issues arise.

 

[Dingo]

OK.... Here's one... She better know how to cook.

 

[bigneil]

OK.... Here's one... She better know how to cook.

Sure, and she's a unicorn and a rainbow.

Here are my ideal prerequisites:

1) Non smoking.
2) No tattoos.
3) High level of attraction toward me (based on body language and touching).
4) Gives her number first time I ask.
5) Shows up on time for dates (without a reminder).
6) Sends thank-you message or follow-up after dates.
7) Has sex by third date.
8) Sweet disposition.
9) No kids.
10) Didn't vote for Hillary.