Liking a girl, but not wanting to have sex with her?

[TheFixer14]

This is weird.

So I am in the middle of a master acting class. At the start of it I got partnered with this girl. She is 21. I wasn't in the greatest of moods starting off so I kinda was all business. I didn't think much of her. She just looked like a kid to me even though I am only 24. I just kinda ignored her.

Last week we got into a weird argument. Oddly enough I started to like her more. We had one more week on the scene left. But she got an audition and couldn't show.

I went to observe the highest level class and she was there today. For a split second it was awkward. But I've been deciding to go towards things lately so I said hi and invited her to sit next to me. She was still clearly nervous and said that she prefers to sit up top even though a few weeks ago she sat right next to me in that same row.

I decided to just join her and asked her how her audition went. We spoke for a bit and kinda cleared the air. I have to say, I haven't had that much fun talking to a girl in a while. Not in the sense that was super fun. But she was just cooler than I thought. And super cute. We connected over our appreciation for Neil Labute. Then we observed the class. She had a gay friend come in and it was interesting to see how she acted with him. She was much more loose with him. But she was more nervous and submissive with me. I loved how she would react to the scene in the class. She got so emotionally involved in them. I remember beginning to say to myself that I like her, then I changed to I love her. I couldn't believe that I had that thought.

After the class ended we both left. I got this real sh!tty feeling. I think I was resisting this chick because I have feelings for her. But what's weird is that I don't have sexual feelings for her. I have more sexual feelings for a girl in class that I've barely spoken to than her.

It's like the days on the playground when you liked a girl. You didn't want to fvck her. But you wanted to be with her. I heard her talking to her gay friend about going to the saddle ranch after and in my head I was like "I just want to be there with her".

The way that we are acting towards each other just reminds me of my childhood. There is an underlying innocence with our interactions. Maybe this is why we were paired.

It was kinda upsetting at first. And it still is as part of me doesn't want to put myself out there like that. I have decided that I am just going to go on a rampage. I am back at the gym and taking martial arts classes. I just want to be superficial. But I can't with this girl.

I can tell that she likes me too. Just from the way that she acted on the phone when we argued it was like I was her boyfriend. Perhaps me ignoring her got her more attracted to me.

Is this what they mean by when you aren't looking for a relationship that it finds you? Or maybe it's just a ****ed up case of our childhood wounds matching perfectly. And usually in those situations you don't want to ****.

Either way it's confusing and frustrating as hell. I'm not sure if I should stay away or just go towards it.

 

[WanderingMan]

You two have "chemistry" and, emotions(good or bad) were stirred.... it's a thin line between love and hate kind of thing. I firmly believe that if Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton sad down at a bar together and had a drink they'd be banging within the hour. (not the best visual, I know)

As to why you don't see her as sexual right now......well, it's because you're blinded by all those hearts floating around your head. Seriously. Once those hearts floating around you head meet up with the hearts floating around her head, then, next thing you know, Boom! Lovey dovey sexy time. And, afterwards, you will come back here one time to make a post about how you're in love and happy and all that, then a lot of guys will talk sh@# and say you're an idiot. Some guys will be jealous, others will wish you well. And then the rest will be up to you. Good luck.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

What is one way to get a girl to like you? She has to think about you. Now I am not 100% sure, but judging from the context of this story, I believe that the argument you had was petty enough not to be a big deal and make her hate you, yet at the same time was just important enough to still stir up her emotions a little bit (getting her emotionally vulnerable) and cause her to think about you more. You saw her at the class, she probably thought it to be as awkward as you did and you came and talked to her, you dealt with the awkwardness, she was still a bit nervous because you were strong enough to have your own opinion yet not let her disapproval bother you enough to where you didn't want to talk to her. She respected that (and thus you) and didn't want to get into an argument with you again, hence why she was a bit nervous. I would assume you took it as a type of feminine submission and found it attractive because it resonated with the core of you as an individual. She probably feels the same. Plus, maybe she was thinking the same thing as you and wished to find someone not as shallow as others.

Either way it's confusing and frustrating as hell. I'm not sure if I should stay away or just go towards it.

When do you think is the next time you will you run into a similar situation? I would say go for it personally, especially since you expressed distaste in LA women. The only thing I would consider is that since you think you two somewhat match, you should probably stay real with her for a little while. I mean like maybe something more interactive if you were to ask her out rather than just drinks at some bar or something. I don't fvcking know anymore, I'm just rambling at this point. Do what you want, but my vote is leaning toward shooting for the stars because opportunities like yours don't seem to happen very often.

You two have "chemistry" and, emotions(good or bad) were stirred.... it's a thin line between love and hate kind of thing. I firmly believe that if Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton sad down at a bar together and had a drink they'd be banging within the hour. (not the best visual, I know)

Jesus dude, that's quite the, err, description there...

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Liking a girl but not wanting sex..

Watch the movie spread and youll find your answer..

Guys that don't **** girls are what poon would say "faggots"

 

[TheFixer14]

You two have "chemistry" and, emotions(good or bad) were stirred.... it's a thin line between love and hate kind of thing. I firmly believe that if Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton sad down at a bar together and had a drink they'd be banging within the hour. (not the best visual, I know)

As to why you don't see her as sexual right now......well, it's because you're blinded by all those hearts floating around your head. Seriously. Once those hearts floating around you head meet up with the hearts floating around her head, then, next thing you know, Boom! Lovey dovey sexy time. And, afterwards, you will come back here one time to make a post about how you're in love and happy and all that, then a lot of guys will talk sh@# and say you're an idiot. Some guys will be jealous, others will wish you well. And then the rest will be up to you. Good luck.

Man, that Trump and Hilary thing caused a crazy arse visual LOL.

But I think you are absolutely right. I am used to the physical attraction coming first, then the feelings coming after if they come at all.

What is one way to get a girl to like you? She has to think about you. Now I am not 100% sure, but judging from the context of this story, I believe that the argument you had was petty enough not to be a big deal and make her hate you, yet at the same time was just important enough to still stir up her emotions a little bit (getting her emotionally vulnerable) and cause her to think about you more. You saw her at the class, she probably thought it to be as awkward as you did and you came and talked to her, you dealt with the awkwardness, she was still a bit nervous because you were strong enough to have your own opinion yet not let her disapproval bother you enough to where you didn't want to talk to her. She respected that (and thus you) and didn't want to get into an argument with you again, hence why she was a bit nervous. I would assume you took it as a type of feminine submission and found it attractive because it resonated with the core of you as an individual. She probably feels the same. Plus, maybe she was thinking the same thing as you and wished to find someone not as shallow as others.

This is great stuff. It's pretty much like the art of seduction says, the person has to have thoughts of you. It was clear when I saw her that she had been thinking about me. For a few days I was thinking about her. It's just funny how before that I wasn't even really attracted to her in anyway real way.

I judged her as being fake. But she is just very innocent.

When do you think is the next time you will you run into a similar situation? I would say go for it personally, especially since you expressed distaste in LA women. The only thing I would consider is that since you think you two somewhat match, you should probably stay real with her for a little while. I mean like maybe something more interactive if you were to ask her out rather than just drinks at some bar or something. I don't fvcking know anymore, I'm just rambling at this point. Do what you want, but my vote is leaning toward shooting for the stars because opportunities like yours don't seem to happen very often.

Jesus dude, that's quite the, err, description there...

I guess my hesitation is not wanting to be rejected and then having to see her for at least two more classes and possibly more since I have no idea what classes that she will be taking. I have come up with a game plan though. Tomorrow I have a new scene partner, I actually think that she's nice and pretty cute. The scene is killer (a scene from the play This is Our Youth from the writer/director of Manchester by the Sea) and I've really connected with the character and have been doing some good homework. I want to focus on that scene and kill it in that scene. And I want to have real heat between my scene partner and I to the point where you really believe that there is something there and not just acting. That will create a level of jealousy in her and that will be in my favor.

I am going to act a little different once I get to class too. Usually I am watching sh!t on my phone. But I'll be sketching in my sketch book. Usually after the scene is over and the teacher talks about the scene I say very little. But I am going to say something about how the death of my character's sister in the scene connected with my due to me losing two friends last year.

Then, I am going to wait until Monday and ask her out. I already have the event. A party at Universal city walk. It's the perfect crime.

In my experience, I've never found a relationship. I've only found sex. Relationships always happen when I least expect them to. And they always form naturally because of chemistry.

But you have to act fast before you develop an infatuation for her. Ask her out immediately. The longer you wait, the more beta you become. And it will manifest in you confessing your undying love for her on one knee, and her running for the hills and telling you to fvck off. The moment you get emotionally needy is when it's all over.

I'm too jaded to get infatuated with a woman now. I've done that stuff in the past and I'm past that. I've got a plan. YOLO.

Liking a girl but not wanting sex..

Watch the movie spread and youll find your answer..

Guys that don't **** girls are what poon would say "faggots"

First off, Spread is a sh!tty movie.

Secondly, I don't even think that you read my post.

 

[BeExcellent]

If the Universal City walk is cool...next date take a dance class.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

It is a ****ty movie but just tryin to help you
Lol i know ill read some..

"It's like the days on the playground when you liked a girl. You didn't want to fvck her. But you wanted to be with her."

Days on the playground is when you havnt hit.puberty and your dck is puny with no ***.. you really feel like your in your playground days again?

little boys are faggots..

I heard her talking to her gay friend about going to the saddle ranch after and in my head I was like "I just want to be there with her"

Youre jealous of a gay dude taking a girl you dont wanna fck to a cowboy bar?

Getting jealous about gay dudes is for faggots.

Hahha im mostly just trolling man, girls are about fun and reading what your going through doesnt look like fun at all.

Read some.books, gut out your heart with a knife and dont give btchs a second thought just the c0ck

 

[TheFixer14]

If the Universal City walk is cool...next date take a dance class.

That's a great idea. Would be a good way to good way to do something interactive and learn.

It is a ****ty movie but just tryin to help you
Lol i know ill read some..

"It's like the days on the playground when you liked a girl. You didn't want to fvck her. But you wanted to be with her."

Days on the playground is when you havnt hit.puberty and your dck is puny with no ***.. you really feel like your in your playground days again?

little boys are faggots..

What? You honestly don't get what I am saying? I am basically saying that she connected with some childhood wound of mine.

I heard her talking to her gay friend about going to the saddle ranch after and in my head I was like "I just want to be there with her"

Youre jealous of a gay dude taking a girl you dont wanna fck to a cowboy bar?

Getting jealous about gay dudes is for faggots.

LMAO. Learn how to read. I was NOT jealous of the gay dude. Why would I be? I just wanted to be with her.

Hahha im mostly just trolling man, girls are about fun and reading what your going through doesnt look like fun at all.

Read some.books, gut out your heart with a knife and dont give btchs a second thought just the c0ck

I hope so. But I think that your view on women is very one dimensional and this is about fun. This is about love. And there is NOTHING funny about love.

I don't want to just **** her. I want to actually be with her. And I do not say this lightly as I don't even feel this way about a woman, ever.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Girls, love, btches are one diminsional. the same girl you are spending so much time and emotional investment in will get pounded by a guy she meets for 10 minutes in the club..

Chevs recent lay..

Locked eye contact with girl at barrachos here in spokane..she had beer..

Pointed finger at her, implying she come here now, played the cat game where she does the opposite and i go back to talking with friends..

5 mins later she in front of me

****ed her only talking to her for about an hour..

After fcking, having a happy little chatty time she says how her ex bf is still sad about her dumping him,

Chev: but does he still love you tho??(wipes cvm off of balls
Girl: yeah he hasnt been happy at all sence breakup and i talk to him teh other night and asked if there will ever be another chance again, i feel bad for him chev tell me what do plz
Chev: oh well blah blah blah love doesnt exist because i can **** you in an hour blah blah

Its awesome man love is for faggots

 

[Bible_Belt]

Liking a girl, but not wanting to have sex with her?

That view would have a lot more credibility if you had already fvcked her. I have girls I like to be around more than fvck, too, but mostly that's because I already have.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Your childhood wounds match up!!! WTF. Pretty much all you have done is talk and even then she wasn't into it at first. You head is already telling you love.

Take an enormous chill pill and look at how you are acting.

Have a successful date or 3 before you overinvest in this girl.

Yeah love is great (briefly). I wish joy and happiness for everyone. I think though that you are projecting your feelings onto her. That is an awful situation for anybody.

 

[TheFixer14]

Girls, love, btches are one diminsional. the same girl you are spending so much time and emotional investment in will get pounded by a guy she meets for 10 minutes in the club..

Chevs recent lay..

Locked eye contact with girl at barrachos here in spokane..she had beer..

Pointed finger at her, implying she come here now, played the cat game where she does the opposite and i go back to talking with friends..

5 mins later she in front of me

****ed her only talking to her for about an hour..

After fcking, having a happy little chatty time she says how her ex bf is still sad about her dumping him,

Chev: but does he still love you tho??(wipes cvm off of balls
Girl: yeah he hasnt been happy at all sence breakup and i talk to him teh other night and asked if there will ever be another chance again, i feel bad for him chev tell me what do plz
Chev: oh well blah blah blah love doesnt exist because i can **** you in an hour blah blah

Its awesome man love is for faggots

Sorry, been there, done that, have the t-shirt. Just not fulfilling.

Liking a girl, but not wanting to have sex with her?

That view would have a lot more credibility if you had already fvcked her. I have girls I like to be around more than fvck, too, but mostly that's because I already have.

Huh? Did you even get what I was saying? I am basically saying that I like her, but I was confused by why I don't have that strong sexual urge. I'm used to sexual feelings first, then emotional ones second, if ever.

Your childhood wounds match up!!! WTF. Pretty much all you have done is talk and even then she wasn't into it at first. You head is already telling you love.

Take an enormous chill pill and look at how you are acting.

Have a successful date or 3 before you overinvest in this girl.

Yeah love is great (briefly). I wish joy and happiness for everyone. I think though that you are projecting your feelings onto her. That is an awful situation for anybody.

You are reading way too deeply into what I am saying.

Just because I say "love" doesn't mean I am about to go all Tom Cruise. I am simply see that these are feelings that I normally do not get for a girl. I can't remember the last time I liked someone and didn't want to just jump their bones.

I think a lot of you guys get too caught up in "you can't have feelings, gotta fcvk first" mentality and I am guilty of that too. But there is nothing wrong with the way I feel.

Explain how I am projecting? Did you not read my description? Does it not make sense to you? It seems to others.

Some of you guys are a trip. I'm just going to do what I want to do. I don't care what happens anymore. I'm going to die sometime right? If it works out, cool. If not? Oh well, I'm used to things not working out.

Life is outside. It may not work out. But I have to go toward it. I'm not expecting anything in return. But I am going to do what I gotta do.

 

[TheFixer14]

Sounds similar to Madonna/Wh0re pedestalization complex

I have experienced similar, basically an intense emotional/chemical attraction to someone that I really didn't find too physically attractive before.

I didn't even think of that. That's probably apart of it. What did you do?

 

[TheFixer14]

The weird oneitis plus the logical understanding that I wasn't really attracted to this person kept me from pursuing it in the past. I'm not sure if that was the right move or not in hindsight. I tend to get like this around cuter girls more than the typical hot girl.

Actually I'm kind of going through this dilemma right now between two girls

I know what you mean. Part of me woke up this morning wondering if it's worth it since there is no huge sexual urge.

The rule is I always go for cute and sexy girls. I'll sleep with hot girls but never develop any feelings. Cute girls don't turn me on. But I've had the best relationships with cute girls who work out and are sexy. For some reason, a lot of cute girls have a tendency to over-rely on their cuteness and neglect their sex appeal. This is a turn off for me. It's like being one half a person.

Bingo. You hit on something that I was trying to get at. She is cute and plays that up. Her body is rather nice. And she is short. But the fact that age neglects her sex appeal is what is making not sexually attracted to her right now. She might be good relationship material though. Usually the women who turn you on the most in bed will turn you off the most out of bed with that same trait. But I don't even know if I want to pursue a relationship.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You see, I was very right and very wrong when I said long ago that I needed to end our relationship and we were incompatible. I was right that our relationship needed to end, but compatibility was always there, and I always knew it, no matter how much I tried to deny it.

The point is, I have only recently really, truly, confronted the actual issue at hand, which is this: WHY did I like her so much? Why do I feel she is without flaw, even though I know logically that she OF COURSE CANNOT BE PERFECT? Passing her off as "not significant" is DENIAL. I know that the DJs here will tell you again and again that she's "just another fish in the sea."

It is true, but there is SOMETHING, or many things, about her that is very special, and I say you should not overlook that. It will always come back to haunt you until you face it. Embrace it. Use that intuition to discover WHY you like her the way you do. WHAT is it about her that turns you into a simpering AFC no matter how suave you are with the other girls?

Do you not realize that because she drives you nuts from wanting to be with her, that she is compelling you to improve yourself? To know yourself better, to become more confident, to rid yourself of those flaws that you feel she exposes every time you come anywhere near her?

I believe that her role in your life is to make you a better man. Were it not for her, you would be an ignorant fool still bumbling around in darkness. Her presence is capable of lifting you up higher than you could ever have imagined. And thus her presence is a double-edged sword. You cannot have her, you will not have her, at least not at this stage in your life (we are probably talking about anytime within the next five years, if at all), because if you DID then you would not be compelled to improve.

This is in the DJ Bible. You can read the whole story just by reading his posts if you'd like, no need to read every comment in the thread. In this case he got friendzoned, but I believe his and her feelings beforehand were at the same exact positions that you and this girl were at OP.

This is why I refuse to believe that in situations such as these, 'she is just another fish in the sea'. Like cynetix said, you telling yourself (or someone else that) is denial. OP already did the pump and dump lifestyle before, yet for some unkown reason, this chick is different. Perhaps only to him, but there is a reason for that. Embracing the sensations a woman like this makes you feel is extremely important for your own growth not just as a man, but as a person as well. This is one of the best ways to become more self-aware and ultimately master yourself. Master yourself before you can master others. This is the pinnacle of self-improvement.

Op, here's another post I found in that thread that I think may be useful to you:

Sounds like Jungian synchronicity to me. You had some kind of internal issue that needed to be dealt with so your subconsious latched onto this girl to provide you with incentive to confront an internal fear.

You need to figure out why you have these feelings for her. You may not get another chance to do so.

 

[TheFixer14]

This is in the DJ Bible. You can read the whole story just by reading his posts if you'd like, no need to read every comment in the thread. In this case he got friendzoned, but I believe his and her feelings beforehand were at the same exact positions that you and this girl were at OP.

This is why I refuse to believe that in situations such as these, 'she is just another fish in the sea'. Like cynetix said, you telling yourself (or someone else that) is denial. OP already did the pump and dump lifestyle before, yet for some unkown reason, this chick is different. Perhaps only to him, but there is a reason for that. Embracing the sensations a woman like this makes you feel is extremely important for your own growth not just as a man, but as a person as well. This is one of the best ways to become more self-aware and ultimately master yourself. Master yourself before you can master others. This is the pinnacle of self-improvement.

Holy ****, that was amazing.

This is pretty much how I feel. I was at the gym yesterday do sets and when I thought of her I was able to push myself harder and complete my sets.

I have been working on allowing myself to be more vulnerable, not have so many pre conceived notions, and just be present. This could be a big test that will get me there.

, here's another post I found in that thread that I think may be useful to you:

You need to figure out why you have these feelings for her. You may not get another chance to do so.

Damn, I have to read the DJ bible more. You're right I got to do it sooner rather than later. It's like the secret locked in a basement. It could potentially change me forever.

 

[marmel75]

Liking a girl but not wanting sex..

Watch the movie spread and youll find your answer..

Guys that don't **** girls are what poon would say "faggots"

The femininity and female mindset of this male generation is really startling...what does the next generation of male have to look forward to? Purses and skirts?

Boys should start being required to take testosterone at age 13 because as it keeps declining over the next generation, they are going to have low T at their peak levels...

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The femininity and female mindset of this male generation is really startling...what does the next generation of male have to look forward to? Purses and skirts?

Boys should start being required to take testosterone at age 13 because as it keeps declining over the next generation, they are going to have low T at their peak levels...

This isn't a case of man to woman or woman to man, it's a case of person to person. That's the difference with this situation. She doesn't resonate with OP as a woman, but as a person.

 

[TheFixer14]

So I went to class today and it was interesting. The teacher was a bit late and she was too so she really didn't see me draw. But two pretty good looking girls commented and said that they dug my drawing so that's nice. The scene went pretty well too. I didn't really pay attention to her so I don't know how she felt.

Anyway, I see her and she's wearing no make up. She still looked alright. But not like she has been. She was by her partner the whole class (which is normal I was by mine too until she went to do another scene), but I didn't feel anything more then "hmph". Maybe it's because they didn't have a **** ton of heat during their scene (I thought that she did a good job though), so I just didn't feel threatened. Or I was just focused on my scene partner a ton.

So anyway, the feelings aren't as intense. But I am still curious as to why they came up. So part of me wants to ask her out just to understand what the **** happened. It's funny, the teacher said that the homework is go with your instincts. So I guess I have to ask her out. But I want it to be something where I could just talk to her for a bit and see what the deal is.

I'll probably ask her out after this class is over. That way there is no chance of an awkward encounter afterwards.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

That's one of the things about this type of situation, the spark can die out fast if there is too much time between encounters or if you wait too long. Update us, this delves into a higher level of interaction than is normally talked about on here.