How to raise/maintain high her interest level (Long Distance)

[James184]

This will be kind of a long read so for anyone not feeling like reading the whole thing,any general advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have been dating this girl for about a month and a half now.We live in the same town however she studies at another town about 4 hours away.During her semester she visits for about 10 days a month so the time I have to meet up with her is pretty limited.

I can tell attraction was there from the beginning.We ended up making out a couple of hours after we met.Since then we have been on 5 dates due to the distance problem and full schedules and I can honestly say each one went great.Thing is,I am not used to this long-distance kind of relationship so I have no idea if what I am about to tell you is normal or not.I have noticed that the longer it takes for her to visit home the harder it is for me to keep her interest level where it was when we first met.For example the first time she went away she constantly texted me,acting all cute and girly in her texts however the next week she was more distant and took longer to respond to texts,etc.That is until she visited again and the process repeated itself.

At this point I want to tell you that we are not in a relationship yet,even though she is quite jealous and acts like it most of the time.She brought up the matter some time ago and told me that it's too early since we haven't spent enough time together,which I am totally fine with,since I had the time to date two more women during this period (had sex with the first/hopefully with the second one as well within the week) and weigh my options.However even though I have avoided the oneitis and the problems it causes quite successfully,I know I want to get in a relationship with her.

During her last visit,she flaked out on me at the last possible minute,which was a huge turn off for me at the time.She apologized the day after and was quite sincere from what I can tell.I decided to lay back and let her do all the chasing this time around.As expected,it worked!5 days later after not reaching out once,she reaches out,complaining that I forgot her and since then we have been talking daily on the phone/cam which has worked way better than texting,since it's more personal.However I have noticed that her interest level is slowly degrading again and I am trying to find a different approach at least for the time being,since she is visiting for 2 weeks this Friday.

How does one keep raising the interest level just through text/phone calls during these periods of not seeing each other?

 

[El Payaso]

If you are not in a relationship yet, spin plates that are closer to you.

Don't get invested in her especially when she's so far away. Don't even spend time wondering how to "raise or maintain" her interest level.

 

[James184]

If you are not in a relationship yet, spin plates that are closer to you.

Don't get invested in her especially when she's so far away. Don't even spend time wondering how to "raise or maintain" her interest level.

Of course I'll keep spinning plates,as you said I am not in a relationship yet so it's always good to have more and possibly better options.I don't get the second one though.Are you telling me I shouldn't invest my time thinking about it and spend less time talking to her or that I shouldn't consider her as a good long term option?

 

[kenpiffyjr]

You won't get the answer you are really looking for. Work on your mind frame and this question would never enter your mind.

If a woman leaves, loses interests, or anything of that nature...let her walk. No one here with knowledge and experience will tell you anything other than that.

 

[James184]

You won't get the answer you are really looking for. Work on your mind frame and this question would never enter your mind.

If a woman leaves, loses interests, or anything of that nature...let her walk. No one here with knowledge and experience will tell you anything other than that.

I see.Point taken!

 

[bigneil]

The key to maintaining a long term relationship is to HAVE A RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH.

 

[El Payaso]

Of course I'll keep spinning plates,as you said I am not in a relationship yet so it's always good to have more and possibly better options.I don't get the second one though.Are you telling me I shouldn't invest my time thinking about it and spend less time talking to her or that I shouldn't consider her as a good long term option?

Yes, I'm saying don't waste your time thinking of her. She is four hours away on a college campus and y'all are not in a relationship.

Consider her a fling. Work the options that are closer to you and focus on your own life, school, work etc.

 

[xstang77]

I did 2 hours away and that was a pain Enough on the weekends plus splitting the hotel room every time. Also when they hit that unsure stage as woman do at the drop of a dime you won't be there to lock it down or stop her from shutting you out. If you do get involved in a rs stay mysterious and use FaceTime as much as possible, beats texts and calls, otherwise if your 5 dates deep and you still haven't hit it it's dumb, mine was a catholic girl and the minute we made it official I was pounding the bottom out till she passed out.

 

[Bingo-Player]

the harder you try to raise or maintain it the faster it will erode

if theres one thing ive learnt through the years is that you cant "force it" with women ,

just doesnt work no matter how bad you want it to

always be slightly less interested than she seems to be

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

During her last visit,she flaked out on me at the last possible minute,which was a huge turn off for me at the time.

Here's all you need to know. You are simply more invested than she is in the whole affair. And she is probably being the sensible one. You live four hours away man. Number one, lower your expectations of this situation; it's not convenient at all for either of you. No harm in making plans when she's in town, but certainly don't go chasing her round the country.

If she's studying, I'm guessing you are both young. Point number two; don't go looking to start something serious with a young girl in her early twenties unless she specifically asks for it and her behaviour towards you warrants it. Women your age are in the prime of their lives and completely care free, so turn that to your advantage rather than being 'turned off' by it or wanting it to change. Because it won't change.

if theres one thing ive learnt through the years is that you cant "force it" with women

This is spot on. It applies to almost every aspect of existence. The more you need or yearn for something to happen, the less likely it will happen as you are coming from a universal state of not having it.

Conversely, truly believing you already have or will receive something will cause it to materialise if you take the appropriate actions to support your belief.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Very good phone sex...
But seriously why bother?
You already said that she gets very jealous AND that she says it is too early for a relationship. Red flags to me.