Girls Dumping Successful Men for Bums

[dustmuffin]

I am reading "Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Male". This book is filled with good information and covers the thread topic quite well.

 

[zekko]

Generally speaking, I think it's one of two things:

1) This "successful man" has some flaws that turn her off - like he is boring, doesn't connect with her emotionally, has bad breath, is a lousy lover, something.

2) The girl is damaged (as Be Excellent suggested), has poor self esteem, and seeks out lesser men because she believes that's all she deserves.

I don't think the answer is to analyze the behavior of bums and mimic those. Although Backbreaker has pointed out that unemployed men can often be more fun because they have so much time and energy to devote to pleasure and socializing.

 

[AlphaNate]

And you guys want to say the BUM is an Alpha Male? Maybe I'm old school, but what the fvck is ALPHA about being over 30, with no car, no job, no home, no credit, no bills in your name, and always having to bum a ride off someone to take you down to the Department of Health and Human Services to get more food stamps? THIS guy has an ALPHA mindset?? Lawd have mercy.

It's possible, yes.

But the other posters in this thread have shifted my thinking to that it's truly more about the psyche of the female and less to do with the male.

 

[marmel75]

Gentlemen,

I have seen on multiple occasions where girls I knew were dating guys I know. In all these instances, the guys are successful. They own businesses, manage companies, are good looking and polite dudes. Yet, in multiple instances, I have noticed these girls to dump these guys in order to date men who have no jobs. In some instances, the girls I'm thinking about went from being financially supported by these dudes I know, to end up paying for everything for the men they ended up leaving my friends for.

This makes little sense. Can any of you folks clue me in to the dynamic at play here?

The men focus all their attention on what they do and none on her. They would rather be at work than take a morning off and bang her senseless. They are unfulfilled because the sex is probably terrible, or the guy has to "schedule" it in and when it's over he goes right back to his job or work instead of staying and cudddling, or giving them bonding time. In short, the men are not giving them what they need physically or emotionally and over time this builds up a very deep seated resentment --- they likely have brought it up to them and have been told things will change, and they never do.

Eventually they just give up and start leading a separate life with someone else, while still having their safety net. When they feel they are alone while in a relationship or married, you can be assured they will find someone that will give them the attention they are craving. Often times it will be with someone at work or with one of your close friends they see a lot.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Tenacity is successful for his age, no? Picture a girl going out with Tenacity and then dumping him for a guy who just "gets" it.

Not hard to figure out.

 

[Poonani Maker]

This is why I've cut off women since mid-November. May start back up in late May. I FEEL very good right now. I have a Lot of energy. I'm in a good position and comfortable in every way, despite my dad dying last month. His (alpha) spirit lives on through me partly. He was a true could-get-women-easily throughout his life due almost PURELY to looks alone. That he, a Marine, would NEVER back down from ANYONE trying to start sh!t with him helped as well in the female department. The women he was with, as well, were at times in fear for their lives (my mom included), because he was so unpredictable. My mom hid his guns (took them out of the house) one time because he had been hurt and was on pain meds and she felt that he was not in a good mental state. He was what-you-say, give a little (do things a little) for the female, but mostly most of the time, highly selfish and they thought that they could "change" him, either through religion (his first wife at 17 yrs old) or his second wife through nagging and constant criticism (he'd tell me about my mom being "overly critical" and I believed him).

I am Feeling really fine now and living the Easy life with no females in the picture at the moment. I continue to roll cash. Sure, people/co-workers etc etc discount you for not appearing involved with a female/family, but I'll take that "hit" on my psyche for now. It doesn't bother me that socially I'm considered less than for not submitting to a female long-term. Western women ARE sick, and I want limited exposure to that sickness we all witness, the entitlement, the YUCK tongue behavior (even at 40, 50, even 60 years old, 70 even women are corrupted by this invasive social media, feminism, TEEE VEEEE, Entertainment, Hollywood's dividing the sexes and causing SERIOUS fault lines between us en masse, the commercials showing ALL men, especially WHITE men as doofuses yet where would we be without our inventions to make life effortless).

If I die, I leave my possessions to my brothers who have children or cousins even at the moment. If a female who gets me and what I demand of her comes along then so be it, but I am NOT going out into the current batch of Western females and trying to find a needle in a haystack, a diamond in the rough. I will put myself out there, but I am NOT submitting to ANY American female. She must REALLY want me now. Short-term, ok, but always a keep one-eye open even while sleeping. This is not your grandparents' days.

 

[Tenacity]

Tenacity is successful for his age, no? Picture a girl going out with Tenacity and then dumping him for a guy who just "gets" it.

Not hard to figure out.

Get what Legend? Get what? Yes, it's hard to figure out....can you break it down to me?

You told me so far to start wearing Armani suits, I got that.

The bum, thug, loser, criminal, with NO job doesn't wear god damn Armani suits.....so can you explain that? The bum, thug, criminal, loser isn't HUMBLE, caring, or any of that shyt. He knocks them up with kids and doesn't provide, he steals money, doesn't work, doesn't do shyt.

Explain this shyt Legend! Help me figure it out because NO, I don't fvcking know what's going on other than women are god damn stupid!

 

[Roober]

I have found the the most successful and wealthy men tend to fall on two ends of the spectrum, the provider or the complete a$$hat.

The successful provider - relied so much on money and his business success, never built the relationship acumen with women. Once they find a beautiful woman, they got hooked hard, and turn into a complete beta provider. These men offer very little sexual excitement, very little life experience (since they have mostly been working), and just basically weak-minded dudes with loads of money

The a$$hat - these guys are successful because they have powered their way to the top, stepping on whoever needs to be stepped on. Used to getting their way, and often a complete d*ck. These guys tend to ruin women, sending them to short term jerks or a complete pushover

Now you can't define it by two simple categories, but the main way to look at it is what LARaider said... It is basically, women fall in the frame the man sets from the beginning of the relationship! If it is not one that is challenging, she will drop him for the badboy

 

[Trump]

Gentlemen,

I have seen on multiple occasions where girls I knew were dating guys I know. In all these instances, the guys are successful. They own businesses, manage companies, are good looking and polite dudes. Yet, in multiple instances, I have noticed these girls to dump these guys in order to date men who have no jobs. In some instances, the girls I'm thinking about went from being financially supported by these dudes I know, to end up paying for everything for the men they ended up leaving my friends for.

This makes little sense. Can any of you folks clue me in to the dynamic at play here?

Who knows bro. Maybe the "successful" guys with businesses beat them. Maybe they were boring. Maybe they sucked at sex. Maybe the girls didn't like their mothers. We can't get in the minds of these girls.

When you guys see something that isn't the norm, don't go looking for logic. Just keep improving yourself.

 

[ubercat]

@dustmuffin glad u got onboard. I ve been recommending that book for a while. Not that u need it. But I m hoping that now a couple of the older heads have repped it more guys might buy it. I recall @RangerMIke thought it was good too.

It looks like bonecracker s material expanded and updated

It is about understanding women. So if u were a pure plate spinner probably wasted effort.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-real-way-to-keep-a-woman.231123/

 

[GoodOne123]

The funny thing is a lot of times they will leave for this "hood" dude, but it's who SHE really is. She was just dating/marrying above herself. It's not always something wrong with you. Many times it's something wrong with THEM. Even crazy, they think they don't deserve someone as good as you, and a "hood" dude will treat her like she's used to being treated. It feels more real to them.

Totally agree.

At the end of the day, birds of a feather flock together.

If she is a hood girl, she'll gravitate towards a hood guy. Because their mentalities are the same.

 

[Tenacity]

I don't know if I'm dumbfounded or disappointed in some of the responses to this thread on a MALE self-improvement forum, where we have a dedicated section to "Wealth/Success" but you guys are bashing "Wealth/Success" on the account that a stupid, feminist/gynocentric/matriarchal bytch is against it?

When you guys see something that isn't the norm, don't go looking for logic. Just keep improving yourself.

Keep improving yourself?? I would argue the reason the guy got dumped was because he already DID improve himself, because many bytches in this market do not want a man that's AHEAD of them.

I've had many black women get completely jealous of me being financially/academically successful and ahead of them, because they are used to being in control...as well as having Ray Ray and Pookie depending on them.

And your advice is to "improve yourself", as if the hell the guy was doing something wrong?? As a grown a.ss man, you are SUPPOSED to be out here getting your finances in order to acquire as much wealth, power, and status as possible. Since when has this become a problem? Oh, I get it, it's a problem now because feminist/gynocentric/matriarchal bytches in this NEW market of women said it's a problem.

I have found the the most successful and wealthy men tend to fall on two ends of the spectrum, the provider or the complete a$$hat.

The successful provider - relied so much on money and his business success, never built the relationship acumen with women. Once they find a beautiful woman, they got hooked hard, and turn into a complete beta provider. These men offer very little sexual excitement, very little life experience (since they have mostly been working), and just basically weak-minded dudes with loads of money

The a$$hat - these guys are successful because they have powered their way to the top, stepping on whoever needs to be stepped on. Used to getting their way, and often a complete d*ck. These guys tend to ruin women, sending them to short term jerks or a complete pushover

Now you can't define it by two simple categories, but the main way to look at it is what LARaider said... It is basically, women fall in the frame the man sets from the beginning of the relationship! If it is not one that is challenging, she will drop him for the badboy

Lawd have mercy, no wonder this market of women is so fvcked up.

You guys just take ANYTHING that a woman does and accept it as some standard of truth that you have to "measure" up to? What IF the women are out of their god damn mind? Is that an option??

I can tell you the majority of black women are out of their god damn mind. They have no Father figures, come from broken homes, come from the ghetto, and masculinity has been redefined in the black community across the board.......even to the black woman with the PHD. There IS no justification to the shyt, IT'S backwards and it's wrong!

There isn't anything to "fix".....99% of women left on the market are out of their god damn mind! The 1% that are decent are like trying to find Big Foot. That means 1 out of 100 women you meet on this market will be of SOME type of traditional quality. I can attest to this, of the 100 NON PAID chicks I've been with, I can go back and maybe name 1.......maybe 1....

 

[Roober]

Lawd have mercy, no wonder this market of women is so fvcked up.

You guys just take ANYTHING that a woman does and accept it as some standard of truth that you have to "measure" up to? What IF the women are out of their god damn mind? Is that an option??

I can tell you the majority of black women are out of their god damn mind. They have no Father figures, come from broken homes, come from the ghetto, and masculinity has been redefined in the black community across the board.......even to the black woman with the PHD. There IS no justification to the shyt, IT'S backwards and it's wrong!

There isn't anything to "fix".....99% of women left on the market are out of their god damn mind! The 1% that are decent are like trying to find Big Foot. That means 1 out of 100 women you meet on this market will be of SOME type of traditional quality. I can attest to this, of the 100 NON PAID chicks I've been with, I can go back and maybe name 1.......maybe 1....

I have a real hard time taking you seriously with your borderline racist remarks. Not sure why that doesn't deserve some sort of warning...?

There are plenty of crazy women, and there are plenty of betas to go along with it. Successful men are often terrible with women. Success in wealth and life does not equate to success with women; that is a fact.

 

[Tenacity]

I have a real hard time taking you seriously with your borderline racist remarks. Not sure why that doesn't deserve some sort of warning...?

What racist remarks? My analysis on black women? I'm black!

Successful men are often terrible with women. Success in wealth and life does not equate to success with women; that is a fact.

I hate this quote, I absolutely hate every word in it because it sends the wrong message to a male self-improvement forum. I don't give a DAMN that some feminist, gynocentric, matriarchal bytch has an issue with a man being successful......that does NOT make a man being successful wrong!

Every damn insane, stupid, act that women in this market do, you guys always try to come up with a technique to "handle it" instead of calling it out as god damn insane and stupid!

So women start making babies with convicted felon, broke, thugs.......instead of calling them out for this insane and stupid behavior.....you guys try to copy the convicted felon, broke, thug!

I don't care if the successful man was too busy, that's no excuse to go fvck a convicted felon, broke, loser, thug! How about leave one successful man and go find ANOTHER successful man who has better time management skills? Is that an option, other than going to a broke thug???

 

[Roober]

What racist remarks? My analysis on black women? I'm black!

Which makes it even more ridiculous... but toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe?

I hate this quote, I absolutely hate every word in it because it sends the wrong message to a male self-improvement forum. I don't give a DAMN that some feminist, gynocentric, matriarchal bytch has an issue with a man being successful......that does NOT make a man being successful wrong!

Every damn insane, stupid, act that women in this market do, you guys always try to come up with a technique to "handle it" instead of calling it out as god damn insane and stupid!

So women start making babies with convicted felon, broke, thugs.......instead of calling them out for this insane and stupid behavior.....you guys try to copy the convicted felon, broke, thug!

I don't care if the successful man was too busy, that's no excuse to go fvck a convicted felon, broke, loser, thug! How about leave one successful man and go find ANOTHER successful man who has better time management skills? Is that an option, other than going to a broke thug???

I am obviously not referring to men here or stronger men not on here... I encourage every man here or not to be successful, but that success has to translate to his career, his social circle, and his success with women.

Women leave successfull AFC men for alpha thugs... a woman would not leave a alpha man for a thug...

Ofen times, it is not even the thug they are looking for. They want a strong man, not physically, not dangerous, but possesses inner strength. For example, ability to call out her crap, tell her no, etc etc...

 

[Tenacity]

Women leave successfull AFC men for alpha thugs... a woman would not leave a alpha man for a thug...

This is where we disagree and I'm willing to have this debate with you.

I do not believe broke, lazy, thugs are ALPHA if we are going to go by traditional definitions of ALPHA. The traditional definition of ALPHA is to have a dominant role or position within a particular "space".

If I'm a broke, lazy, thug who lives off my woman, with no bills in my name, with no car, and without even the ability to EAT tonight unless SHE buys the food......explain to me what am I dominating? Aren't I indeed the one being dominated, because I have to depend on HER to survive?

Ofen times, it is not even the thug they are looking for. They want a strong man, not physically, not dangerous, but possesses inner strength. For example, ability to call out her crap, tell her no, etc etc...

And you are going to tell me that the majority of successful men are doormats, without backbone, who don't call women out on their crap? You are honestly going to sit here and tell me a guy with an MBA, who dominates the board room, dominates a market sector....suddenly goes home and becomes a door mat to his woman? That's cartoon fantasy land.

My theory is that women are DELIBERATELY rejecting strong, successful, Alpha MEN to go for men who are in a sub-ordinate role to them...like broke, loser, thugs...because it allows the feminist/matriarchal bytch to CONTROL the relationship and CONTROL the household.

You cannot sit here Roober and tell me the broke, lazy, thug who lives off of this woman has any type of inner strength and calls her out on her B.S.?? How the hell can you call a chick out on her B.S. if you are homeless without anywhere to go? Calling her OUT means you can get kicked OUT of the house, which means these guys in this position will remain sub-ordinate and not speak up, nor do hardly anything to p.iss that woman off.

Come on Roober, you know I'm telling the truth man.

 

[bigneil]

My theory is that women are DELIBERATELY rejecting strong, successful, Alpha MEN to go for men who are in a sub-ordinate role to them...like broke, loser, thugs...because it allows the feminist/matriarchal bytch to CONTROL the relationship and CONTROL the household.

Not all thugs are necessarily broke, but I agree that a perversion of feminism is a trend where women are preferring younger, prettier boy-toys (i.e., they are turning into men) who they can control versus older, stronger men who they would have to be loyal to. Most women want to have both.

 

[Tenacity]

Not all thugs are necessarily broke,

That's a fair point, 100% of thugs aren't broke, just about 92% of them . Trust me, I have family members who are "thugs" involved in the underground drug game and only about 10% of those involved are making any real money. Real money defined as making at least $40k a year. The rest of them are just making pocket change here or there.

And the vast majority of women with thugs are not those in the top 10% either. It's the BROKE thugs. The top 10% thugs in the drug game you would never know were thugs, because they wear "suits" like a Tenacity or a Legend would wear. You would just think they were regular businessmen.

 

[zekko]

a perversion of feminism is a trend where women are preferring younger, prettier boy-toys (i.e., they are turning into men) who they can control versus older, stronger men who they would have to be loyal to.

Interesting that women are choosing these guys when one of the main themes of the manosphere is that these are the exact types women are NOT attracted to. They tell you to be a strong, challenging, masculine leader, and then women hook up with some lazy b!tch boy they can control.

Goes to show the dating market is more varied than it appears, no matter how much guys want to simplify it into a one size fits all formula.

 

[devilkingx2]

In my mind it's not a woman thing, nor a man thing, nor a human nature thing even.

You see, in my mind it's just logic. What you want doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the right thing or what you should do or what's good for you.

What you want, is a nice delicious pizza, what you should probably eat is some celery, what you want is to put something on the celery to make it not disgusting, but that makes it not healthy which defeats the purpose. ditto with salads, the reason mcdonalds salads have more calories than their burgers is that a mcdonald's salad has 1,000 things added to it to make it taste good, which make it completely unhealthy

what you want in a woman, and what would make a good woman, are not necessarily the same thing. what I'd want in a woman is a girl with super model good looks who is very insecure so that she's easy to get while still being gorgeous, I'd also want her to have big tits and be super good at sex. In reality, that would probably be a fvcking trainwreck of a woman, and I should probably go for some nerdy HB6 who spent her weekends in church and her nights at home studying for her degree, but that doesn't sound like a very interesting woman. that's the dilemma all of us guys face, and that's the dilemma all girls face as well.

so to circle back around to the reason why women do this, it's simple: the same reason everyone else does. Because what you want, and what's good for you, are separate things that don't necessarily have anything in common. what a girl wants is a hot, charismatic, smooth guy who's exciting and dangerous, even a thrillseeker. in reality this leads to her dating a lazy drug dealer who'll cheat on her with one of his other girlfriends weekly and their relationship will end with both of them going to jail after a sting operation. What she should want is some boring, nerdy accountant or banker or some **** who'll give her a good stable safe life, but that doesn't make for good stories to tell your friends now does it?