When To Argue With Her?

[SpartanWarrior77]

Hey guys,

So for the past week or so, it's been tough with my girlfriend. She's moody and bitchy and complains about me. (I'm 21 and so is she by the way.) She complains that I don't desire her enough. She also complains that I put my business first and don't invest into her or the relationship. She feels like she's going out of her way more than I am. (she takes a 1h30 long bus ride to see me on the weekends and spend time in my house). She feels like I don't desire her enough and don't invest enough into the relationship. Meanwhile, I spend loads of time with her (entire weekends) and do fun activities such as yoga, cooking, etc. I'm kind of broke because Im still working on my business so we can't do anything big. So I rather stay at home and do stuff there.

We keep getting into arguments about stuff and I know I shouldn't be arguing with a woman. She makes me feel selfish though. I'm not sure if Im being selfish or if she's being ungrateful. I also feel like i shouldn't be speaking logically with a woman. I don't know guys, Im confused. Any words of advice?

 

[bigneil]

A 21 year old man is no match for a 21 year old woman. No man is, really. Get a 17 year old.

Case in point: the OP should be out working a second job instead of "his business" (which is probably some pipedream of being a rock star) but he's here whining about the fact that his girl wants him to get a job. But he has really pretty eyelashes, his sister told him in 2014.

Moody and/or b!tchy = low interest (if not less than 50%). My current girl has never moody or b!tchy in the year I've known her, even when I might have deserved her to be.

You never argue. Change the subject. If you're arguing about an issue that violates your principles, you might say "these terms are not acceptable but there will always be a place in my heart for you" and politely walk and she then must compromise to get you back.

 

[bigneil]

Remember guys: Argument is the opposite of Seduction, and Anxiety is the opposite of Orgasm.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

She's preparing for a breakup, she's not happy about the lack of money. Cut the dead weight: this toxic spoiled brat. Focus on your business and your future, which she could not give a f*ck about believe me.

I live with my parents who are pretty wealthy. We have a really nice place. They don't give me much money though, they expect me to make it on my own.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

A 21 year old man is no match for a 21 year old woman. No man is, really. Get a 17 year old.

Case in point: the OP should be out working a second job instead of "his business" (which is probably some pipedream of being a rock star) but he's here whining about the fact that his girl wants him to get a job. But he has really pretty eyelashes, his sister told him in 2014.

Moody and/or b!tchy = low interest (if not less than 50%). My current girl has never moody or b!tchy in the year I've known her, even when I might have deserved her to be.

You never argue. Change the subject. If you're arguing about an issue that violates your principles, you might say "these terms are not acceptable but there will always be a place in my heart for you" and politely walk and she then must compromise to get you back.

I do have a second job and it's working for my family's business. The second thing Im doing is a side project and it's very realistic. It's a digital marketing agency. But yeah, I think I made the mistake of arguing with her. She's been nagging me a lot. but I feel that if Im the man and I'm alpha, she shouldn't be on my case. As long as I'm respectful and I game her right, she shouldn't be nagging me and asking me to put in more work...

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Plus, this is fairly new. Before, she would happily do as I told but now she's more resentful and get's on my case.

 

[sazc]

ouch, she bugs me. WTF does she want you to do exactly? she cant simply sit and b1tch, she needs to be specific about WTF will make her happy, otherwise she's just a fvcking nag

 

[Reykhel]

The treat her like your bratty kid sister frame comes to mind....

Mock her man. "Ah is baby upset? "

Make a list of your major priorities in life. Career? Family? Etc etc put her at the bottom of the list....

When she starts this shyte tell her "baby you know you're the "fifth " most important thing in my life" (or wherever she is on the list)

That's your authentic frame. She accepts it or she goes.

 

[bigneil]

I do have a second job and it's working for my family's business. The second thing Im doing is a side project and it's very realistic. It's a digital marketing agency. But yeah, I think I made the mistake of arguing with her. She's been nagging me a lot. but I feel that if Im the man and I'm alpha, she shouldn't be on my case. As long as I'm respectful and I game her right, she shouldn't be nagging me and asking me to put in more work...

Good man. Get a 17 year old. She will worship you.

 

[The Duke]

Spartan, she is likely pregnant with quadruplets and just hasn't told you yet. Pretty soon you will have a small army of little warriors to help you run your business. Hopefully they are your's and not PoonKings.

 

[BeExcellent]

I live with my parents who are pretty wealthy. We have a really nice place. They don't give me much money though, they expect me to make it on my own.

Your parents are wise and are doing you a favor. Good on them & lucky for you. You are wise and focused on building your own affairs to a successful place. Your GF however is entitled. To paraphase George S. Patton:

Lead...follow...or get out of the way.

You are leading. She however is not following but rather is trying to lead...so she either needs to follow or get out of the way. Stay focused on you. Make a list of priorities as @Reykhel suggested and inform her of this list. You are an ambitious young man with goals and desires. If she thinks she knows better than you or is entitled to xyz from you then she is not the right girl for you. No matter how pretty she is, no matter how hot she is, no matter how sexy she is. Pretty, hot & sexy are the things MOST EASILY replaced in a woman. Good character and support are the most difficult to replace. Better you find out now while you are young. If she pipes down and gets in line that is one thing. If she won't she is going to become more and more unmanageable over time.

Either she respects your choices and priorities or she doesn't. If she doesn't it's time to move on & not look back.

 

[dustmuffin]

All I needed to know is that she lives an hour and a half away. It's long distance. Those type of relationships never work. I think she is getting ready to dump you. Hence all the bs.

Dump her first and work on your projects and dreams. Find a local girl or girls to have fun with. Get rid of the drama.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

ouch, she bugs me. WTF does she want you to do exactly? she cant simply sit and b1tch, she needs to be specific about WTF will make her happy, otherwise she's just a fvcking nag

She did be somewhat specific. She would say stuff like, save up money for us to go on a trip, get her flowers, etc...But still, it's like what the ****

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

The treat her like your bratty kid sister frame comes to mind....

Mock her man. "Ah is baby upset? "

Make a list of your major priorities in life. Career? Family? Etc etc put her at the bottom of the list....

When she starts this shyte tell her "baby you know you're the "fifth " most important thing in my life" (or wherever she is on the list)

That's your authentic frame. She accepts it or she goes.

Yeah, I was thinking of being that way but I feel bad for her. We usually have great rapport and polarity.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Your parents are wise and are doing you a favor. Good on them & lucky for you. You are wise and focused on building your own affairs to a successful place. Your GF however is entitled. To paraphase George S. Patton:

Lead...follow...or get out of the way.

You are leading. She however is not following but rather is trying to lead...so she either needs to follow or get out of the way. Stay focused on you. Make a list of priorities as @Reykhel suggested and inform her of this list. You are an ambitious young man with goals and desires. If she thinks she knows better than you or is entitled to xyz from you then she is not the right girl for you. No matter how pretty she is, no matter how hot she is, no matter how sexy she is. Pretty, hot & sexy are the things MOST EASILY replaced in a woman. Good character and support are the most difficult to replace. Better you find out now while you are young. If she pipes down and gets in line that is one thing. If she won't she is going to become more and more unmanageable over time.

Either she respects your choices and priorities or she doesn't. If she doesn't it's time to move on & not look back.

Yes, Im well aware of the benefit of my parents decision to not completely support me. Im grateful to them for that. I keep telling her that Im leading and that she should trust my lead but its like she has more and more conditions as to what me leading should look like. It's annoying.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Spartan, she is likely pregnant with quadruplets and just hasn't told you yet. Pretty soon you will have a small army of little warriors to help you run your business. Hopefully they are your's and not PoonKings.

I hope not.

 

[sazc]

She did be somewhat specific. She would say stuff like, save up money for us to go on a trip, get her flowers, etc...But still, it's like what the ****

Taken on the surface, she sounds superficial. Taken on a deeper level, she may be looking for more intimacy, more real connection with you - she wants to feel as if you are vulnerable with her, and she can be with you. Legit, yer both too young for vulnerability and bonding on that level. She's not old enough to appreciate what you are trying to accomplish and she's young enough to be unable to figure out at her core what she needs (vacations and flowers are symbols for other stuff) and she still believes in the disney pricess bs and does NOT know how to achieve real, vulnerable bonding in a relationship. There's no magic pill for this. If she doesn't settle down, someone will cut the other loose. Good luck with it all.

 

[wifehunter]

If she's not helping to fix the problem, she's part of the problem.

 

[RangerMIke]

Never argue with a woman. Tell her if she isn't happy she should go find someone that will give her what she wants.

 

[Reykhel]

Yeah, I was thinking of being that way but I feel bad for her. We usually have great rapport and polarity.

That's great that you have great rapport etc

But if you feel for her that's a weakness/ chink in your armour.

You want to be a spartan warrior you need to be ruthless......starting with yourselve

Be disciplined and work on your frame. Remember she is a guest in your world. If that's ever the opposite way around...you'll be in a very precarious position.

You must never be afraid of losing her.....she will respect you more

You simply must assert yourself.....she will respect you more.

If she doesn't then
1. Her interest level was never high enough
2. Pig headed neg

In that case you're better without her. ASSERT YOURSELF YOU CAN ONLY WON

Remember: if she doesn't respect you, she cannot love you.