A damaged man

[051AV]

I bumped into the guy that stole the BPD girl away from me 3 years ago all I can say is that man is fvcked. He's in his mid 30s but looks like he's 50 he's a train wreck, having her in his life for the last 3 years is taken the toll. There is no bouncing back from that, once you've aged yourself that bad there's no turning back.

Three years ago the man wanted the BPD, him and I would hang out with each other, he was a guy that thought he was a ladies man. Chased and flirted with any woman he could, he seen the BPD he wanted her wanted her bad. She had a smoking hot body, she liked flirting with guys but she was a train wreck herself at that time. No one knew what was going on in her personal life except for me she was a mess. She wanted to be with me really bad but I wouldn't give her a committed relationship her red flags were on my mind. After a year of trying to get me to be with her she latched on this other guy but he didn't make her happy but she stayed with him.

She never cut me off she kept me in her life, I cut the relationship off that's when she got angry and plotted revenge she wanted me to pay for it. We've had fights in the past this fight was the biggest ever I took quite the beating. Thankfully the police never got involved she tried her hardest to ruin my reputation. I always had the control in the relationship, she is extremely manipulative, she tried manipulating me it didn't work. She was extremely proud of her manipulation skills she bragged it up how she could manipulate people. I'm a very intuitive person she couldn't hide anything from me that's what scared her I would catch her doing things that she thought nobody knew about. She openly admitted to me she is using the guy she was seeing she claimed to have feelings for him I never seen it.

To this day 2 years later she's nervous when she see's me she keeps her head down and very submissive. I've never laid a hand on her from the day I met her, she claims she finds me really intimidating.

Its been almost 2 years since I seen her BF he's the poster child for BPD damage the man's going to end up dead. It makes me sad to see what state he's in, he's done it to himself he should have thrown her out of his life the first year he was with her. He wouldn't talk to me he turned and walked away. I can't do anything for that guy I hope I don't see his obit in the paper he's going to have a stress related heart attack.

 

[Dan Bautista]

Crazy what women can do to a sane man. Good on you that you identified the red-flags and threw her out of your life as soon as possible.

 

[wolf]

My only dream in this life of mine is that every Man, Woman and Beast becomes educated on all that is possible of the perils a Cluster B can bring into ones own life.

I am in touch with Codependants anonymous and hopefully may even have some of my own written work printed and published as part of their own literature in the new year.

On the other hand... There is the BPD "gift". By tackling and overcoming your own dependency of a BPD, you can infact overcome all of your own dependency of your own wounds from childhood. The tricky part is making people aware of the dynamic of which they are experiencing and leaving up to them to make and enforce any changes on their own given lives.

This Man in your post may or may not be aware of BPD. If he continues on his path without insight or education of BPD then I dread to think of the consequences for him.

I am no Captain save a Beta! Just a Man with ash on his feet and his own story of Hell.

 

[051AV]

I knew this guy for a few years before he met her he was a great guy he was healthy he looked his age you could tell he was a guy in his 30s. He starting dating her then 6 months into the relationship I started to see the changes. A year into it the changes were noticeable, as the relationship progressed he started to look really haggard worn out his friends even commented he doesn't look well. This guy is a real people pleaser he couldn't make her happy they went on expensive trips nothing. Fast forward to this month it will mark 3 years of him being with her he's looks like crap no man in his 30s should look like he's 50 years old for fvck sakes.

The only reason why I kept her around is I needed her she was one of my office girls she was good at what she did keeping paper work straight and doing the office jobs I didn't want to do. When we first met I developed feelings for her she had feelings for me when I started to get to know her ooh fvck she's a train wreck. She's got family issues ie she hates her father, her mom wasn't there for her. When I met her she was at her lowest of low I helped her get back on her feet. I didn't realize how strong her feeling were for me our relationship was push pull, when I did cut things off she was angry she said I hurt her feeling bad.

Its 2 years since she's been out of my life, I do miss her a little she does have a good personality but she is too much to handle. The meds she's on help I can't imagine her off her meds.

The guy she is with won't even talk to me he's scared of her if he's caught talking to me he fears the repercussion. She bullies him, I have a feeling she has something over him that will jeopardize his job and finances its why he's still with her. She bullies him, what she want to do he does it he's a puppet on strings. She couldn't get away with that crap with me I stood up to her she would leave in a huff when I said no, she tried her manipulating with me didn't work. She would get so angry with me you could see fire in her eyes she would storm off I would go check on her she would have an emotional lash out and start crying. She gave me the silent treatment acting like I didn't exist I heard the words "Fine" and "Nothing".

I left the corporation we worked together at 2 years ago, I've recently heard she is walking the fine line of getting fired I guess she's been caught manipulating one of the managers he trusted her way too much. Her bf is a manager at the same corporation they don't work together directly and he's not her manager he has his own team of people he manages. He's crapping where he eats the worst thing you can do, she has something over him that could make him lose his job he makes 80k a year. The divisional staff that have dealings with the BPD girl end up hating her she's hated by most of the staff at the local division of the corporation. I supervised the division that the BPD worked in the staff tolerated her she rubbed everybody the wrong way.

 

[051AV]

You know I can't stop thinking about the guy with the BPD woman its bothering me how bad he looks as I said its been nearly 2 years since I seen him last he looked bad then he looks 10 times worse. There is nothing I can do to help him, he won't listen to me, as I said he's most likely scared to reach out for help.

She turned her last BF before me into a wreck but he had the balls to throw her out after dealing with her for 3 years. She's turned the guy she's with into a wreck, fvck the guy is only in his mid 30s he's got years of his life to go and enjoy.

I don't like seeing guys suffer, sure him and I didn't see eye to eye on things, A guy does feel a little helpless seeing a guy get destroyed. I have a feeling if I get involved she will make his life worse. She's blocked me on all social media as I said she's scared of me I see right through her games she plays. I still laugh today about the things I caught her lying about and confronted her.

 

[GoodOne123]

I need to mention, that it's just as bad focusing on the bpds new men, than the bpd herself.

In both situations you are losing peace of mind, and wasting vital time and energy which could be put into more useful pursuits.

I know what it's like. You want to wait and observe in anticipation for the new guys demise. You hope it doesn't turn out well for him. The reason why is that if he turns out a wreck, it validates your decision to leave her, and that she is poison.

I think we need to adopt a different approach when dealing with girls who just don't match us. We should just forget about them, pretend they never existed, and practice this till it becomes easy. It doesn't make a difference if they're happy with someone else, because what's important is that you weren't happy with them.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Lmao.

I better watch out! If I get caught by an evil BPD woman she might age me 10 years and steal my soul!

 

[wolf]

Lmao.

I better watch out! If I get caught by an evil BPD woman she might age me 10 years and steal my soul!

Happened to me!

I lost 2 stone in 2 months after losing my appetite. My skin turned grey and I felt completely empty. I don't see anything "LMAO" about it!

 

[macallik]

You know I can't stop thinking about the guy with the BPD woman its bothering me how bad he looks as I said its been nearly 2 years since I seen him last he looked bad then he looks 10 times worse. There is nothing I can do to help him, he won't listen to me, as I said he's most likely scared to reach out for help.

Why is another man on your mind so much? Repressed feelings?

She turned her last BF before me into a wreck but he had the balls to throw her out after dealing with her for 3 years. She's turned the guy she's with into a wreck, fvck the guy is only in his mid 30s he's got years of his life to go and enjoy.

Are you writing an autobiography on her? Why are you so intent on documenting her past relationships instead of procuring a relationship of your own?

I don't like seeing guys suffer, sure him and I didn't see eye to eye on things, A guy does feel a little helpless seeing a guy get destroyed. I have a feeling if I get involved she will make his life worse. She's blocked me on all social media as I said she's scared of me I see right through her games she plays. I still laugh today about the things I caught her lying about and confronted her.

I feel like you are suffering right now by focusing your life on a guy (let's face it, you really are indirectly thinking about the girl) instead of trying to find your own happiness. You have multiple posts that are 'documenting' your interactions that took place two years ago. This is not helping you in the slightest. Please reevaluate what you want out of life and how you intend to get it instead of trying to play Dr Phil in another relationship.

 

[logicallefty]

Why is another man on your mind so much? Repressed feelings?

I believe they call this 'having empathy'.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Oh great, another BPD thread. You don't take them seriously. If you do (this goes for any woman for that matter actually), then I guess you could age more quickly. But you never wife up a crazy person, ever. This should be common sense people. Props to you for using your head, but that other guy is a retard for letting his emotions take control of him. You control your emotions; your emotions do not control you.

 

[051AV]

As I said I knew this guy long before the BPD, he was a heathy man, as their relation progressed he started to change, in the beginning of the relationship he was happy get, 6 months into it his mood changed he became antisocial. Started to see the physical effects he looked awful, his friends started commenting he doesn't look well at all. To what he is currently, he's fvcking burnt out, he's done himself damage he should have turfed her long ago.

He's struck out with women a lot, they could tell he's very insecure, the BPD latched onto him, she told me flat out she goes after insecure guys. He did it to himself, he was gloating he stole her from me, in a way he did me a favor.

Once you've been with a BPD it heightens you senses I can spot the red flags right away.

 

[wolf]

Oh great, another BPD thread. You don't take them seriously. If you do (this goes for any woman for that matter actually), then I guess you could age more quickly. But you never wife up a crazy person, ever. This should be common sense people. Props to you for using your head, but that other guy is a retard for letting his emotions take control of him. You control your emotions; your emotions do not control you.

Raising awareness is the only way to help other guys avoid BPD's and the havoc they wreak. The guy in question isn't a "retard". He is most likely carrying around a whole heap of emotional baggage that this girl saw and latched onto.
It is all too easy to simply state that you should never "wife up a crazy person". Water seeks it's own level and in any BPD it is always a 'you or them' scenario. Unfortunately BPD's rarely lose because they hold all of the cards when it comes to knowing how 'you' think and feel. It is Cold Empathy.

I get that you are perhaps bored and/or frustrated by seeing all these BPD threads but nobody asks you to read them. Not having a dig as i myself respect all opinions.

I am not sure what you mean when you say "you shouldn't take any woman seriously". This is part of the problem that i often see on here. Thread 101 "Help.. iv'e been plating this girl and it turns out i am also a plate"... Water seeks it's own level.. Always!

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Raising awareness is the only way to help other guys avoid BPD's and the havoc they wreak. The guy in question isn't a "retard". He is most likely carrying around a whole heap of emotional baggage that this girl saw and latched onto.
It is all too easy to simply state that you should never "wife up a crazy person". Water seeks it's own level and in any BPD it is always a 'you or them' scenario. Unfortunately BPD's rarely lose because they hold all of the cards when it comes to knowing how 'you' think and feel. It is Cold Empathy.

I get that you are perhaps bored and/or frustrated by seeing all these BPD threads but nobody asks you to read them. Not having a dig as i myself respect all opinions.

I am not sure what you mean when you say "you shouldn't take any woman seriously". This is part of the problem that i often see on here. Thread 101 "Help.. iv'e been plating this girl and it turns out i am also a plate"... Water seeks it's own level.. Always!

Well firstly, the thread title looked enticing to me and I had no idea that it was about a BPD or else I wouldn't have read it. And secondly, I am trying to say that especially in the case of BPDs, if you don't take them seriously they cannot affect you.

 

[051AV]

The guy that latched onto the BPD, told me about his life, he's the middle child, came from a well off family, by the sounds of it his father wasn't a strong figure in his life. Money was a big factor in his life, still that way today, he's always flaunted he has money, he thinks money can buy happiness and solve all his problems. With the BPD he has spent a ton of money on her trying to make her happy, buying her things, taking her on very expensive trips, in the end it didn't really get him any where.

After she came back from one their expensive trips she wasn't any happier than she was when she left, in the 3 years he's spent well over 10 grand trying to make her happy. His friends have told him it would be cheaper to hire a hooker for the money he's spent on the BPD. She started milking him for money he paid for her bills, fvck she bragged to me that she is using him for money.

Two years ago I didn't know what a BPD was until I was told about it last year I started comparing what I read to her behavior/actions I came to the conclusion she is a BPD. I know she has mental health issues, she see's a therapist, she's on medications for the type of illness she suffers from, the suicide attempts she told me about. Pretty sure she went undiagnosed for years ie through her teenage years I don't think she started treatment till her mid twenties. She will probably need to be on medication for the rest of her life.

The medications she's on makes her sick, the side effects etc, as I said before she hid a lot from the others in our office, not from me thou. When she was sick I knew about it, she would get upset that the med's were making her feel ill. I always kept an eye on her, she wouldn't eat, if she did it would be a few spoonfuls I would put her lunch back in front of her and tell her to eat.

In the end she was a whole lot of work, I tried to be supportive for her tried to help her improve her skills, she tried working in another division she ended up fighting with the staff. I ended up putting out the fires she started, she ended up burning those bridges, I tried getting her to do things so management would notice she screwed that up too. I would get mad at her, I wanted to say to her how can you be such a fvck up, I never did say anything.

Never again would I get involved with a woman that has mental health issues, BPD I would run like hell. Its sad that some women end up fvcked up you can't do anything for them, they will never change.

 

[wolf]

Never again would I get involved with a woman that has mental health issues, BPD I would run like hell. Its sad that some women end up fvcked up you can't do anything for them, they will never change.

Unfortunately there will always be someone to put out their fires.