Dating lords, I seek your advice

[Pentyx]

This is a long one, any help is eternally appreciated because at the moment this is the only thing I care about in life.

I'm going to keep it as short as possible.
Some basic info, I've got no idea if it really matters: I'm a 20 year old guy 'seeing' a 16 year old girl. We're pretty much equally handsome and popular. I study economy at a high reputable university. I live in another part of the country, and we have been snapchatting each other since august. Around a month ago, it started to get quite serious, even though we hadn't met in real life which is fecking weird I know. I started developing serious feelings which hasn't really happened before. We started talking for hours on the phone, communicating in different ways. I spent irrationally much of my time upping my 'game' with investing in my wardrobe, perfume etc trying to perfect myself as much as possible. Obviously I never let her know that I cared so much, she didn't know that I had feelings since I never confirmed anything. I played it cool even though it got quite serious. I finally met her on friday when I went back to my hometown where she lives. We spent the entire day together dining and hanging out with friends. On saturday we went to a party, got drunk, made out with each other and revealed our feelings to each other, cringe I know. It was intense as hell. She flew away just after this, it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues (which her friend told me because I bestowed her at the party lol and she later revealed it to me). She ran away to her ex. It's weird but they are just friends and nothing happened, she doesn't have feelings for him. Long story short, we fought a lot on sunday, all of our plans got scrapped, I met her to have a chat where I said that I'll come back in two weeks if she wants to continue with 'us' and then I went back to where I live, we resolved our fight and right now we don't know where we stand. It's very careful at the moment. Our cheesy heart-filled messages are gone. Nevertheless we're constantly sending snaps to each other, obviously we're still 'on'. She is now trying to make me jealous. She's been sending snaps of her flirting with other guys etc and it's so obvious what she's doing.

Why is she doing this? She still has the same feelings right? How do I get us back to where we were before the weekend? I probably won't be going back home before christmas, I don't want to rush this because she's extremly difficult to tame and it takes time. I'm not going to spend a lot of money flying up again this month because a similar scenario could very well happen again. What do I do? It matters the world to me.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

If you want to keep attending this high reputable uni then you may want to re-evaluate this situation. Can't 16 get you 20 where you live?

She's just fvcking with you, if you had any brains you'd forget about her and focus on school and slutty uni chicks. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Pentyx]

If you want to keep attending this high reputable uni then you may want to re-evaluate this situation. Can't 16 get you 20 where you live?

She's just fvcking with you, if you had any brains you'd forget about her and focus on school and slutty uni chicks. Just my 2 cents.

Yeah yeah, I'd probably be best off forgetting about her but it's not an option. I need to have her.

 

[Serenity]

You start off by saying this is the only thing you care about in life at the moment. Once I read that I pretty much knew how it was gonna go down.

I'll make a list.

1. She's 16, almost all of them are emotionally unstable at that age.
2. Long distance, that very rarely works out in real life.
3. Excessive non-physical communication, you don't learn sh!t from snaps and phone convos.
4. It got serious.. No, there's nothing serious before she's at least physically in front of you, preferably you're inside of her.
5. Feelings for someone you don't really know, don't make that mistake again.
6. You spent time on your looks for her, that is something you should have already been doing long before her.
7. Revealing feelings while drunk, because none of you have the courage otherwise?
8. She's treating you like a piece of sh!t, still you want this b!tch?

Don't bother yourself trying to understand why she's doing this, no answer to that is helpful so it's a waste of your time. You won't get this back to what it was before the weekend, this is badly tainted now. What do you do? Find another (better) girl to have good feelings with and don't fvck it up. Failure will repeat itself with new girls if you do not learn.

Don't invest sh!t before actually meeting physically. Only use distant communication to arrange physical meetings, no lengthy conversation neither trivial or deep. Find someone a bit older than 16, their hormones are still raging at that age. Also find someone in your local area, saves the risks and logistics of travel.

Last but not least, DO NOT MAKE A GIRL BE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. It gives them all the power to completely obliterate you, no girl is ever worth that much.

 

[Roober]

Drop her. You don't NEED any woman!

Snapchatting relationship? I am sorry, but that almost made me fall off my chair...

 

[Pentyx]

You start off by saying this is the only thing you care about in life at the moment. Once I read that I pretty much knew how it was gonna go down.

I'll make a list.

1. She's 16, almost all of them are emotionally unstable at that age.
2. Long distance, that very rarely work out in real life.
3. Excessive non-physical communication, you don't learn sh!t from snaps and phone convos.
4. It got serious.. No, there's nothing serious before she's at least physically in front of you, preferably you're inside of her.
5. Feelings for someone you don't really know, don't make that mistake again.
6. You spent time on your looks for her, that is something you should have already been doing long before her.
7. Revealing feelings while drunk, because none of you have the courage otherwise?
8. She treating you like a piece of sh!t, still you want this b!tch?

Don't bother yourself trying to understand why she's doing this, no answer to that is helpful so it's a waste of your time. You won't get this back to what it was before the weekend, this is badly tainted now. What do you do? Find another (better) girl to have good feelings with and don't fvck it up. Failure will repeat itself with new girls if you do not learn.

Don't invest sh!t before actually meeting physically. Only use distant communication to arrange physical meetings, no lengthy conversation neither trivial or deep. Find someone a bit older than 16, their hormones are still raging at that age. Also find someone in your local area, saves the risks and logistics of travel.

Last but not least, DO NOT MAKE A GIRL BE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. It gives them all the power to completely obliterate you, no girl is ever worth that much.

Well, you're absolutely right but it doesn't matter because I love her. And yes, I've definitely learnt from this, I'll never let myself develop feelings in this way ever again.

 

[Serenity]

Well, you're absolutely right but it doesn't matter because I love her. And yes, I've definitely learnt from this, I'll never let myself develop feelings in this way ever again.

What exactly is it that you love about her? I can't spot it in your post. You're not in love, you're infatuated.

It doesn't matter? Are you listening to yourself?

 

[Desdinova]

it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues

Any woman who is genuinely interested in you won't have "commitment issues".

She ran away to her ex.

He's at the top of her high score list. You are not.

she doesn't have feelings for him.

That is a lie.

She still has the same feelings right?

For her ex, yes. You on the other hand are just somebody to occupy her time when she's bored.

it doesn't matter because I love her.

Love does not conquer all.

Love is a two way street. You're only on a one-way street because you're not receiving any kind of genuine affection back. A one-way street is called "infatuation". Since this is the case, you obviously have no clue what real love is.

I need to have her.

You need to DROP her and find yourself a real, local woman instead of living in this fantasy land.

 

[blind_one]

What Desdinova said.

I need to have her.

This is a wrong mind set. Always act from a position of power.
You might want her but you do not need her.

Longs distance never works. Confessing your feelings like that does not either.
That was too much for her and she has you by the balls.

Abandon ship, up your game and focus on yourself.

 

[dk1990S111]

These guys have given you all the advice you need. Always easier to see foolishness from the outside perspective.

The ex that she ran away to, how long have they been broken up?

 

[thatfeel]

Jesus, long distance, just stop. Look for girls in your area and completely drop this one. There is nothing special about her that you need to be mentally fvcking yourself by dealing with anyone who is further than an hour from you.

 

[dude99]

This is a long one, any help is eternally appreciated because at the moment this is the only thing I care about in life.

I'm going to keep it as short as possible.
Some basic info, I've got no idea if it really matters: I'm a 20 year old guy 'seeing' a 16 year old girl. We're pretty much equally handsome and popular. I study economy at a high reputable university. I live in another part of the country, and we have been snapchatting each other since august. Around a month ago, it started to get quite serious, even though we hadn't met in real life which is fecking weird I know. I started developing serious feelings which hasn't really happened before. We started talking for hours on the phone, communicating in different ways. I spent irrationally much of my time upping my 'game' with investing in my wardrobe, perfume etc trying to perfect myself as much as possible. Obviously I never let her know that I cared so much, she didn't know that I had feelings since I never confirmed anything. I played it cool even though it got quite serious. I finally met her on friday when I went back to my hometown where she lives. We spent the entire day together dining and hanging out with friends. On saturday we went to a party, got drunk, made out with each other and revealed our feelings to each other, cringe I know. It was intense as hell. She flew away just after this, it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues (which her friend told me because I bestowed her at the party lol and she later revealed it to me). She ran away to her ex. It's weird but they are just friends and nothing happened, she doesn't have feelings for him. Long story short, we fought a lot on sunday, all of our plans got scrapped, I met her to have a chat where I said that I'll come back in two weeks if she wants to continue with 'us' and then I went back to where I live, we resolved our fight and right now we don't know where we stand. It's very careful at the moment. Our cheesy heart-filled messages are gone. Nevertheless we're constantly sending snaps to each other, obviously we're still 'on'. She is now trying to make me jealous. She's been sending snaps of her flirting with other guys etc and it's so obvious what she's doing.

Why is she doing this? She still has the same feelings right? How do I get us back to where we were before the weekend? I probably won't be going back home before christmas, I don't want to rush this because she's extremly difficult to tame and it takes time. I'm not going to spend a lot of money flying up again this month because a similar scenario could very well happen again. What do I do? It matters the world to me.

I read the first little bit then stopped right away because alarms went off even before i got to the details. Here is your problem.

You don't have a girlfriend. You have a pen pal. You can't have a relationship with someone you can physically see on a regular basis.

2. She is a minor. You can vote. She can't. See where there is a problem? The law certainly does.

3. You have oneitus. Spin plates. You can't focus on a minor chick that is have way across the country.

 

[dude99]

Yeah yeah, I'd probably be best off forgetting about her but it's not an option. I need to have her.

No you don't. As soon as you pedistlize the girl you lost. She knows you have no options she knows she can treat you like garbage and you will come back for more each time.

Send her one last text. " sorry hun you are just not mature enough for me. We are just at 2 completly different stages of life. Perhaps in about 5 or 10 years we will be on the same page but right now i have to focus on my future and my future alone; and the distractions of a 16 year old highschool girl are only making my grades slip. Goodbye."

Then wha t you do is withdraw all attention to her. Do not answer her texts. Do not snap chat with her. Do not call her do not entertain her. She must chase you. She must see you are the prize. Right now you are treating her like she is the prize and she sees you as weak.

No contact. She will blow up your phone and facebook and email etc... ignore it all. She is 16. Not mature enough.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is simple... you created a relationship in your head before one was there.

What you think is 'love' is nothing more than Testosterone mixed with Oxytocin. It happens to all of us but since you are a man, you can control this with one simple act.... go date other women. Just get busy and stop thinking about her... you don;t think you can do it, but you can. You are NOT going to want to but you have to start asking out other women and going on dates. Trust me you will get better and in a few weeks you will not know what the fvck you were thinking getting all spun up about a stupid 16 yo chick.

 

[sazc]

My short answer is you HAVE to next her.

My longer answer, which I hope many of you will read, is that you HAVE to next her because you beta guys that orbit the young girls are what crate the adult women you despise so much!

You asked "why is she doing his?" I'll tell you why....

I was there at one time, young (about 16) and attractive. One year I realized that men thought I was 'something' to look at. They wanted to talk to me. Some of them, embarrassingly, wanted to act subservient to me. That behavior made me uncomfortable but I also realized that I held some sort of secret power over these men. I didnt know where it came from or why it happened, but it was definitely there. The would pay attention to me, weather I liked them, or not.

I watched my other girlfriends harness the power. Some decided that they would take advantage of the beta male as he came bearing gifts. Cigarettes, Alcohol, dinner, gifts. And all she had to do was smile and flirt. Remember, we were young. We didnt realize what was happening, we were just amazed. What my girlfriend may, or may not, have realized is that she was leading him on. She wasn't sure if she even wanted him as a relationship. She dint know what an orbiter was, but she had one, two, three. She never wanted any of her orbiters. There was always someone else she wanted, a man who paid her no attention. but those daddy issues are better left to another thread.

The beta male always stuck around longer than he should have. He always became an orbiter, doing more than he should, helping more than he should, 'being there' for her more than he should. What the beta male didnt realize was that he was actually shaping the thoughts of the young, impressionable, female. Through his behavior she started to understand the value of her smile, her hips, her body and her attention. The beta male was unwittingly teaching the impressionable female that it was quite possible to keep orbitors, and thus reap benefits) with certain behaviors. The beta male was unwittingly training the female.

Your chick is 16. If you don't go ghost on this BS situation you WILL be aiding in training her how to manipulate men. She's not available FOR YOU. If she was into you she would be available for you, that is all you need to know. It has nothing to do with your value. To be honest, it sounds like she is immature and doesnt have her $hit straight.

Dont hang on and wait, move on and find other women who arent going to jack with you.

 

[marmel75]

Dude she is 16, she has no idea what she wants, but at this moment in time its definitely not you

 

[Serenity]

My short answer is you HAVE to next her.

My longer answer, which I hope many of you will read, is that you HAVE to next her because you beta guys that orbit the young girls are what crate the adult women you despise so much!

You asked "why is she doing his?" I'll tell you why....

I was there at one time, young (about 16) and attractive. One year I realized that men thought I was 'something' to look at. They wanted to talk to me. Some of them, embarrassingly, wanted to act subservient to me. That behavior made me uncomfortable but I also realized that I held some sort of secret power over these men. I didnt know where it came from or why it happened, but it was definitely there. The would pay attention to me, weather I liked them, or not.

I watched my other girlfriends harness the power. Some decided that they would take advantage of the beta male as he came bearing gifts. Cigarettes, Alcohol, dinner, gifts. And all she had to do was smile and flirt. Remember, we were young. We didnt realize what was happening, we were just amazed. What my girlfriend may, or may not, have realized is that she was leading him on. She wasn't sure if she even wanted him as a relationship. She dint know what an orbiter was, but she had one, two, three. She never wanted any of her orbiters. There was always someone else she wanted, a man who paid her no attention. but those daddy issues are better left to another thread.

The beta male always stuck around longer than he should have. He always became an orbiter, doing more than he should, helping more than he should, 'being there' for her more than he should. What the beta male didnt realize was that he was actually shaping the thoughts of the young, impressionable, female. Through his behavior she started to understand the value of her smile, her hips, her body and her attention. The beta male was unwittingly teaching the impressionable female that it was quite possible to keep orbitors, and thus reap benefits) with certain behaviors. The beta male was unwittingly training the female.

Your chick is 16. If you don't go ghost on this BS situation you WILL be aiding in training her how to manipulate men. She's not available FOR YOU. If she was into you she would be available for you, that is all you need to know. It has nothing to do with your value. To be honest, it sounds like she is immature and doesnt have her $hit straight.

Dont hang on and wait, move on and find other women who arent going to jack with you.

This!!

Spoiling people (of any sex) makes them into obnoxious manipulative demons, do not create more of these idiots for the sake of everyone.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

This is a long one, any help is eternally appreciated because at the moment this is the only thing I care about in life.

I'm going to keep it as short as possible.
Some basic info, I've got no idea if it really matters: I'm a 20 year old guy 'seeing' a 16 year old girl. We're pretty much equally handsome and popular. I study economy at a high reputable university. I live in another part of the country, and we have been snapchatting each other since august. Around a month ago, it started to get quite serious, even though we hadn't met in real life which is fecking weird I know. I started developing serious feelings which hasn't really happened before. We started talking for hours on the phone, communicating in different ways. I spent irrationally much of my time upping my 'game' with investing in my wardrobe, perfume etc trying to perfect myself as much as possible. Obviously I never let her know that I cared so much, she didn't know that I had feelings since I never confirmed anything. I played it cool even though it got quite serious. I finally met her on friday when I went back to my hometown where she lives. We spent the entire day together dining and hanging out with friends. On saturday we went to a party, got drunk, made out with each other and revealed our feelings to each other, cringe I know. It was intense as hell. She flew away just after this, it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues (which her friend told me because I bestowed her at the party lol and she later revealed it to me). She ran away to her ex. It's weird but they are just friends and nothing happened, she doesn't have feelings for him. Long story short, we fought a lot on sunday, all of our plans got scrapped, I met her to have a chat where I said that I'll come back in two weeks if she wants to continue with 'us' and then I went back to where I live, we resolved our fight and right now we don't know where we stand. It's very careful at the moment. Our cheesy heart-filled messages are gone. Nevertheless we're constantly sending snaps to each other, obviously we're still 'on'. She is now trying to make me jealous. She's been sending snaps of her flirting with other guys etc and it's so obvious what she's doing.

Why is she doing this? She still has the same feelings right? How do I get us back to where we were before the weekend? I probably won't be going back home before christmas, I don't want to rush this because she's extremly difficult to tame and it takes time. I'm not going to spend a lot of money flying up again this month because a similar scenario could very well happen again. What do I do? It matters the world to me.

A girl that has true feelings for you wouldn't give you such a hard time. The fact that you keep chasing her in a situation that is clearly not in your favor will make her lose even more respect for you. You have to switch your priorities

This is a long one, any help is eternally appreciated because at the moment this is the only thing I care about in life.

I'm going to keep it as short as possible.
Some basic info, I've got no idea if it really matters: I'm a 20 year old guy 'seeing' a 16 year old girl. We're pretty much equally handsome and popular. I study economy at a high reputable university. I live in another part of the country, and we have been snapchatting each other since august. Around a month ago, it started to get quite serious, even though we hadn't met in real life which is fecking weird I know. I started developing serious feelings which hasn't really happened before. We started talking for hours on the phone, communicating in different ways. I spent irrationally much of my time upping my 'game' with investing in my wardrobe, perfume etc trying to perfect myself as much as possible. Obviously I never let her know that I cared so much, she didn't know that I had feelings since I never confirmed anything. I played it cool even though it got quite serious. I finally met her on friday when I went back to my hometown where she lives. We spent the entire day together dining and hanging out with friends. On saturday we went to a party, got drunk, made out with each other and revealed our feelings to each other, cringe I know. It was intense as hell. She flew away just after this, it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues (which her friend told me because I bestowed her at the party lol and she later revealed it to me). She ran away to her ex. It's weird but they are just friends and nothing happened, she doesn't have feelings for him. Long story short, we fought a lot on sunday, all of our plans got scrapped, I met her to have a chat where I said that I'll come back in two weeks if she wants to continue with 'us' and then I went back to where I live, we resolved our fight and right now we don't know where we stand. It's very careful at the moment. Our cheesy heart-filled messages are gone. Nevertheless we're constantly sending snaps to each other, obviously we're still 'on'. She is now trying to make me jealous. She's been sending snaps of her flirting with other guys etc and it's so obvious what she's doing.

Why is she doing this? She still has the same feelings right? How do I get us back to where we were before the weekend? I probably won't be going back home before christmas, I don't want to rush this because she's extremly difficult to tame and it takes time. I'm not going to spend a lot of money flying up again this month because a similar scenario could very well happen again. What do I do? It matters the world to me.

It's too late to fix this with her

This is a long one, any help is eternally appreciated because at the moment this is the only thing I care about in life.

I'm going to keep it as short as possible.
Some basic info, I've got no idea if it really matters: I'm a 20 year old guy 'seeing' a 16 year old girl. We're pretty much equally handsome and popular. I study economy at a high reputable university. I live in another part of the country, and we have been snapchatting each other since august. Around a month ago, it started to get quite serious, even though we hadn't met in real life which is fecking weird I know. I started developing serious feelings which hasn't really happened before. We started talking for hours on the phone, communicating in different ways. I spent irrationally much of my time upping my 'game' with investing in my wardrobe, perfume etc trying to perfect myself as much as possible. Obviously I never let her know that I cared so much, she didn't know that I had feelings since I never confirmed anything. I played it cool even though it got quite serious. I finally met her on friday when I went back to my hometown where she lives. We spent the entire day together dining and hanging out with friends. On saturday we went to a party, got drunk, made out with each other and revealed our feelings to each other, cringe I know. It was intense as hell. She flew away just after this, it was too much for her too quickly, and she has some serious commitment issues (which her friend told me because I bestowed her at the party lol and she later revealed it to me). She ran away to her ex. It's weird but they are just friends and nothing happened, she doesn't have feelings for him. Long story short, we fought a lot on sunday, all of our plans got scrapped, I met her to have a chat where I said that I'll come back in two weeks if she wants to continue with 'us' and then I went back to where I live, we resolved our fight and right now we don't know where we stand. It's very careful at the moment. Our cheesy heart-filled messages are gone. Nevertheless we're constantly sending snaps to each other, obviously we're still 'on'. She is now trying to make me jealous. She's been sending snaps of her flirting with other guys etc and it's so obvious what she's doing.

Why is she doing this? She still has the same feelings right? How do I get us back to where we were before the weekend? I probably won't be going back home before christmas, I don't want to rush this because she's extremly difficult to tame and it takes time. I'm not going to spend a lot of money flying up again this month because a similar scenario could very well happen again. What do I do? It matters the world to me.

It's already over. As long as you put that much importance on having a girl they will keep walking over you and you will get hurt for many years to come. Instead try shifting to focus on yourself, improve yourself, make your life perfect, have fun! > without a girl. Then and only then will they flock to you like birds and you will have the power to take it or leave it. I dare you to break of all contact with girls (in the dating sense) until you have shifted your focus completely and are in a great mood everyday without a girl.

 

[JohnChops]

Yeah yeah, I'd probably be best off forgetting about her but it's not an option. I need to have her.

"NEED", no sir, you do not need anything except food, water, and air.