Facebook? Stick it up your @ss..

[Die Hard]

Meet girl at party, lots of kino, lots of close dancing, she's giving you puppy eyes, she shows lots of positive signals, and she's single.
So the night ends and you ask for her phone number. She makes a counter offer, telling you to add her on facebook instead.

Been there done that countless times and 10 out of 10 times when you agree to the facebook counter offer, she flakes. So accepting the counter offer is not an option.

But when I say I don't do facebook and insist that we exchange numbers, they always feel like I'm forcing them and immediately lose interest because they don't like being pressured. So that's not the right play either.

When I stay calm and simply ask them what's wrong with two people exchanging numbers, they always respond by telling me they won't give away their number that easily, implying that I haven't deserved it yet. Obviously, I'm not gonna accept that bullsh!t so I tell them it's too bad we're not gonna meet again, wish them the best and we just walk away from each other.

I get the feeling there is no right play here, if she offers her facebook when you ask for her phone number, she simply isn't interested enough in meeting again, or has been hurt by her last boyfriend so much that she pulls her guard up very high when guys show interest. Whatever her reasons, it seems once she makes this counter offer, your chances of accomplishing anything are ZERO.

Do you guys agree or is there some tactical response that allows you to turn the conversation in your favor and get her number after all? I have no problem nexting bytches but it just doesn't sit right with me that the girl shows lots of interest, she ignores the other guys and spends most part of the evening with me, only to end up in a stalemate where she refuses to give the number and you refuse to accept the facebook offer, so you basically both say "fvck you, it's your loss" and each go your own way.

I'm inclined to think that the counter offer is a result of not gaming her appropriately during the night and she won't give the number no matter what you say at that point. You didn't act alpha enough during the evening, were supplicating too much, didn't establish a strong enough frame etc. As a result, she simply isn't interested in meeting again and you can't change it at that point, you should've done better at the interactions leading up to the moment you go for her number.

But maybe I'm wrong and there is a right play after she makes the counter offer after all?

 

[Filter]

I have literally never had a woman offer me her Facebook in place of her number. I have had a woman give me her email since her "phone was stolen," and it turned out she was being honest and I dated her for a few months.

I guess if I encountered that, I would do something similar to the OP. When I get numbers, I usually tell women to either write their number down or to just directly put it into my phone.

But, also with how common the Messenger app is, I don't know if it's really that much different than texting anymore. I know some guys prefer to call, but I have always been a fan of texting... especially when I have several plates. In a way, Facebook is very similar to a phone number, at least for my purposes. I'm thinking I might press for the number, but if all I get is the Facebook, then I'll try to work that, too.

Do you say you, "don't do Facebook" or that you "don't have a Facebook?" Because I think the second phrase is a lot better.

 

[Bible_Belt]

They want to check you out on facebook to see if you have a gf or are gaming other girls.

 

[Die Hard]

You might be onto something, Bible... It gives them more chances to screen you, gives them more control, it's "safer".

But that's exactly the problem. They'll just add you to the list of 1000 other guys who worship them on facebook and lean back. It's like that fvcking Tinder app, instead of being a PERSON to them, you just become a PROFILE to them, they force you into the goddamn realm of endless online chatting and meeting up in real life becomes a distant possibility.
(In fact, they might just do this because you didn't impress them enough, they just relegate you to the ranks of ORBITERS because you simply didn't game her well enough, didn't act alpha enough and didn't establish a strong enough frame. You failed at gaming her and so she just decides to turn you into an orbiter... If you had made her pvssy tingle more, she would simply have given you her number instead of coming up with this counter offer)

I don't do that sh!t, I won't get drawn into THEIR realm, THEIR home turf, where all the dynamics are in THEIR favour. They will either exchange numbers with me or they can go to hell. Unfortunately, they choose the latter most of the time and I end up with empty hands.

So that's why I'm wondering if there's some way around this. It reminds me of last-minute-resistance when you're at her home and she won't put out... As soon as she says you're not getting any, you could think to yourself "Fvck this, she either allows me to fvck her or she can go to hell" thus you leave when she says this. But it often works better to aproach the situation a bit more subtly and slowly break down her resistance instead of clashing with her heads on. Likewise, there may be a way to subtly circumvent her resistance when she suggests you add her on facebook instead of getting her phone number.

I don't see it and remain of the opinion that she's basically rejecting you, which you can't turn around regardless of what you say or do at that point. But if any of you thinks differently, I'd like to hear about it!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Die hard buddy, I totally share your frustration toward certain cvntish behaviours and attitutes of contemporary time.

In my opinion when a girl ask for facebook instead of giving her number means tw things.

1) Her level of interest is not low but not high either, anywhere between medium-low and medium high, lets say you didnt impress her enough that she wants to put you in a privileged access compared to other guys.

2) She wants your facebook to read you and possibly screen you with her friends, the sheep minded mentality of girls requires social approval even to change their phone ringtone.

I dont believe she checks much if you're gaming other girls or you have a girlfriend, she just want info about your sexual value and success, cvnts measure it from how many friends you have, how many likes you get and from who.

What I do when it happens to me?

I simply tell them that I dont have facebook or that I use whatsapp for work communications too therefore its easier for me to communicate with it overall especially in working time.

Regarding facebook, unless you are superpopular she will find something that will turn her off, could be a hobby of yours, that picture you got at the car show, your geek friend who uploads videogames stuff in your board and so on.

This situation adds to all the other reason for which the least wrong thing to do is meet and bang same night a girl just met, there are no such things as dating or communicating outside a social circle for most guys.

 

[resilient]

I feel your guys pain on this one...

After I separated from the STBXW now XW over a year ago, I combed through and deleted our shared connections family and friends of hers. I dropped a ton of them and didn't have a huge list of friends remaining after the purge. I deleted a ton of wedding, honeymoon, vacation photos and after the purge... it looked gd depressing.

I then asked myself after a few months separated and socializing regularly again: what would be going through a plates mind if she were to add me as a friend and look through my friend list, photos, and timeline post? Answer: Nothing interesting. I don't have a grip of likes and comments from other women because I was exclusive for so long. All my buddies stopped interacting with me because they couldn't relate or were worried I would get cynical or clingy on them.

Come mid-2016... It just didn't make sense to be on Facebook anymore after FB kept bombarding me with timeline photos of friends and family connections getting engaged, married, popping out kids, babyshowers, etc. I deactivated FB in May and have no real desire to reactivate it.

Not being on FB is also more motivation to get out in the real world and socialize more. I like the mystery factor of not being visible and having people ask me what I've been up to in person. I can pull out my phone and show them or just scroll through cool pictures of mountains I've climbed, social proof pictures from networking events or other random adventures.

I definitely echo the sentiment that women will use it as a screening tool to investigate how others view you or what you say about others (i.e. status updates, political views, etc.)

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Fine... Here's my number. Call me some time.

 

[ubercat]

I just say "not a Facebook guy" and leave it at that. I have no interest in some AW sitting in judgement of my life. I also think it's an indicator of a low quality woman.

 

[Once Bitten]

I deleted my FB account. I do have an account that I only communicate through the messaging part with my kid or my close friends. In a phony name. If anyone asks, I don't have one. Ex and her friends are blocked.
Found it to be a social addiction, a woman's parody. Cracks me up to see 55yo women caked in makeup posting pics of chicks they're drinking with, and selfies while in the bar, showing off their "high value". pfft

 

[Trump]

But when I say I don't do facebook and insist that we exchange numbers, they always feel like I'm forcing them and immediately lose interest because they don't like being pressured. So that's not the right play either.

But maybe I'm wrong and there is a right play after she makes the counter offer after all?

Bro why are you so upset she countered with facebook? Say OK, add her and show her the 15 other girlfriends you have on there. She'll call you.

Don't take things so personally either. Give you an example: I met an educated OK looking girl asked for a number, she said no. Then I tried to add her on linkedin when I was just starting out. She didn't add me. Then I got request and request from girls I knew and after so many connections, she added me and we dated.

Just go with the flow. Make the sale but don't pressure or insist.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Umm... organize a date there and then?? Then the number is no big deal... you just automatically get it to further facilitate the date.... or the flake.

I only use Facebook to post poetry for close friends, and family, and to keep in touch with previous colleagues. I'm not interested in using it socially, so tell women I don't have it.

Today's effort:

An Idle

Give me a lawn and gardens in Autumn,
Green hedged by shrubs and voluminous trees,
Where the odd truant cat slinks in through the gates,
And butterflies flutter on the light breeze.

Give me a sun lying heavy on its run
Indulging the scene with its last summer warmth,
As if to atone for its momentary roam
To its wintered abode in the North.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She's not interested. Your best play when a woman rejects giving you her number is to ask her out right there for a specific day and place. You counter by saying you're a gentleman that was going to just call and ask her out. If that doesn't work, her interest was just too low. I have good success both online and in person by counter offering a number rejection with the definite date.

 

[The Duke]

Too much mental masturbation here for me. Its really simple......a woman that is truly interested in you will not put up road blocks between you and her. And thats the only kind to invest time in. You come across as really desperate when you sit there and argue which does you absolutely no good. Just take it as low interest and walk away. Be thankful you didn't waste anymore time.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Agree with many here. Pushing it off to FB just means she's not interested or wants you to orbit her with all of the other loser guys who make that their whole way of trying to hook up. I used to really like FB when it was small and exclusive - but then when it blew up and became a substitute for live interaction and actual meaningful relationships, I bailed. I deactivated for a while but that gets my family and close friends all antsy, with them asking if I'm "okay" blah blah. People act like you have a terminal illness when you leave Facebook. So now I keep an account but I have posted anything in over 2 months. Even then, I still get people posting on my wall -"What's up?" and all I can think is that if you want to know what's up why don't you just send me a GD FB msg and ask me like that. Facebook is the devil and social media in general is making people act like they think they are celebrities, when they are just small town losers. I can't stand any of it. The only good thing about FB is when we have a local situation, like recent flooding, I can go on and see pics and updates from people nearby on what streets are flooded, etc, faster than on local MSM.
Everything on social media is "look at me look at me" - suddenly everyone is a Kardashian. Makes me physically sick.

 

[logicallefty]

"I only FB with a few select people under a phoney name. When and if I feel you are worthy of being my FB friend ill find and add you"

True statement for me.

 

[dude99]

Meet girl at party, lots of kino, lots of close dancing, she's giving you puppy eyes, she shows lots of positive signals, and she's single.
So the night ends and you ask for her phone number. She makes a counter offer, telling you to add her on facebook instead.

Been there done that countless times and 10 out of 10 times when you agree to the facebook counter offer, she flakes. So accepting the counter offer is not an option.

But when I say I don't do facebook and insist that we exchange numbers, they always feel like I'm forcing them and immediately lose interest because they don't like being pressured. So that's not the right play either.

When I stay calm and simply ask them what's wrong with two people exchanging numbers, they always respond by telling me they won't give away their number that easily, implying that I haven't deserved it yet. Obviously, I'm not gonna accept that bullsh!t so I tell them it's too bad we're not gonna meet again, wish them the best and we just walk away from each other.

I get the feeling there is no right play here, if she offers her facebook when you ask for her phone number, she simply isn't interested enough in meeting again, or has been hurt by her last boyfriend so much that she pulls her guard up very high when guys show interest. Whatever her reasons, it seems once she makes this counter offer, your chances of accomplishing anything are ZERO.

Do you guys agree or is there some tactical response that allows you to turn the conversation in your favor and get her number after all? I have no problem nexting bytches but it just doesn't sit right with me that the girl shows lots of interest, she ignores the other guys and spends most part of the evening with me, only to end up in a stalemate where she refuses to give the number and you refuse to accept the facebook offer, so you basically both say "fvck you, it's your loss" and each go your own way.

I'm inclined to think that the counter offer is a result of not gaming her appropriately during the night and she won't give the number no matter what you say at that point. You didn't act alpha enough during the evening, were supplicating too much, didn't establish a strong enough frame etc. As a result, she simply isn't interested in meeting again and you can't change it at that point, you should've done better at the interactions leading up to the moment you go for her number.

But maybe I'm wrong and there is a right play after she makes the counter offer after all?

Her facebook counter offer is her telling you her interest level is 49 % or less. A girl who has high interest in you would give you everything under the sun to make sure you had no problems getting in contact.

Facebook is the new answering machine. Back in the 80s and 90s before texting and facebook chicks had only one real way of being contacted. The land line. Problem with this was when a girl really wasn't interested in you they would lie and pretend they were while giving you their real number, so you would become an orbiter , but they wouldn't actually talk to you. They wouls let you leave message after message on the answering machine and screen you out that way, knowing you would eventually get the message and stop calling.

Facebook has replaced the answering machine. She knows you're interested. She knows you will add her she knows you will check out her pictures she knows you will send message after message trying to get together with her and she knows to filter you out all she needs to do is not reply.

When a chick counters with a "send me a friend request on facebook," just next her or give her name to the dorkiest guy you know and let him bug her. You need to spin plates instead.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I was wondering what is the general opinion about a girl who offers her fb without being asked for any contact.

Trying to lead on or find new orbiters?

Im quite good in smelling interest therefore dont even ask contacts to lukewarm girls, yet some of them tell me to add them on fb (which I dont ofc).

 

[Alvafe]

here is the thing I never ever invite a girl on facebook, all girls I ahve find me after sometime or becuase we have some friend in common.

you ask her number if she give good you can call, text whatever, say facebook you only look sometimes to see news or anotehr things and never to chat, or don't have one.

also one thing never share all your info on facebook, facebook only have my first and last name (I have a 6 names on my full name) my birthday and palce I live, that is all others info never, also I never share photos and such at most i'm marked in some and that is all.

not only that keep you in "touch" with some people but its a usefull tool to find some info, just understand anything you share there is permanent and facebook sells that info, learn to be mysterious even when people think can see everything

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I keep my mystery up by thinning out/securing my photos on Facebook and not posting anything. When someone tags me in something, even if it's my SO or a family member, I remove the tag immediately.
You can make lists of your FB friends and then secure access to photos and posts to only those people. The items you share with Public should be next to none and on top of that, only share a small subset with your overall friends list.

 

[resilient]

PW, I remember locking down my security settings when I had Facebook and that was nice for anyone new trying to screen me. The problem was when I accepted a friend request, I generally gave access to friends to view my timeline and photos. I think it would be weird to not even let my friends view my content unless I just wanted to have a minimal account to screen plates.

I also always removed tags as well. One tag I remember removing I was upset because I clearly looked drunk in the photo at a Christmas party, hah. In any case, still glad I deactivated Facebook months ago. No going back for me.