People bad mouthing behind your back.

[NSX-R]

There is a good female friend i have which she is a customer in my restaurant that i own and she's the owner of the hall I'm training ( I'm a tennis pro) so we know each other very good and we have a lot of respect for one another.
A week ago she came into my restaurant with a friend we both have and anyway we were talking . While we were talking thanks to my diplomatic skills she confessed that many people from the club is bad mouthing about me . Since I heard what I wanted, I changed the topic like nothing happened and all of us had a good time.

To be honest i never cared about what everybody thought about me but right now that was a punch to my ego.
That was I believe what my inner self wanted to come back into its senses cause for the last couple of months I don't have the motivation and the energy to keep on pushing toward my targets . From the next Day I increased the pace of my training both in tennis and at the gym , my behavior has become more aggressive ( in a calm way) ,I'm more responsive and now I have the motivation to do anything.

I think that's one step closer to become a dj.

At first as a complete loser i had to pick myself up and I'm glad that i made it . Later I done some small steps into improving my mental health and acquire a big part of the required knowledge.
Now it's the time to do the big hard steps towards my real targets. I'll prove to myself that nothing is going to break me and hold me back from my targets.
I want to thank them for underestimating me because that's a small part of the fuel I need to push me forwards into success.

I just wanted to share ,nothing more, I'm going to be happy if somebody gets any inspiration from it.

 

[dustmuffin]

There is a good female friend i have which she is a customer in my restaurant that i own and she's the owner of the hall I'm training ( I'm a tennis pro) so we know each other very good and we have a lot of respect for one another.
A week ago she came into my restaurant with a friend we both have and anyway we were talking . While we were talking thanks to my diplomatic skills she confessed that many people from the club is bad mouthing about me . Since I heard what I wanted, I changed the topic like nothing happened and all of us had a good time.

To be honest i never cared about what everybody thought about me but right now that was a punch to my ego.
That was I believe what my inner self wanted to come back into its senses cause for the last couple of months I don't have the motivation and the energy to keep on pushing toward my targets . From the next Day I increased the pace of my training both in tennis and at the gym , my behavior has become more aggressive ( in a calm way) ,I'm more responsive and now I have the motivation to do anything.

I think that's one step closer to become a dj.

At first as a complete loser i had to pick myself up and I'm glad that i made it . Later I done some small steps into improving my mental health and acquire a big part of the required knowledge.
Now it's the time to do the big hard steps towards my real targets. I'll prove to myself that nothing is going to break me and hold me back from my targets.
I want to thank them for underestimating me because that's a small part of the fuel I need to push me forwards into success.

I just wanted to share nothing more, I'm going to be be happy if somebody gets any inspiration from it.

Just keep pressing forward. You can do it. Let them gossip! dosent mater

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

If people were talking about you, this means you got their attention. If you were inconsequential, you wouldn't be a topic worth mentioning. Congrats on "owning" their thoughts.

You best response is "eh," the insidious tone of indifference. The more successful you become in life, the greater you will be the topic of others' conversations--and the center of their worlds. Just don't let them become the center of yours. Good or bad "publicity" means you are doing what others wish they could do themselves, but lack the balls.

 

[NSX-R]

If people were talking about you, this means you got their attention. If you were inconsequential, you wouldn't be a topic worth mentioning. Congrats on "owning" their thoughts.

You best response is "eh," the insidious tone of indifference. The more successful you become in life, the greater you will be the topic of others' conversations--and the center of their worlds. Just don't let them become the center of yours. Good or bad "publicity" means you are doing what others wish they could do themselves, but lack the balls.

Thanks Legend.
Such experience is very important for me and I'm glad that I'm able to get only the positive things from it. If it had happened 2-3 years ago I would had been in a very bad situation mentally.

 

[Southbound29]

The wolf doesn't concern himself with the opinions of sheep.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

People always have opinions or something to say, don't worry about it

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

In my experience, people who don't have much going on in their own lives are usually those that tell stories about other people. Like, they don't have anything interesting to say about themselves.

That being said, latterly I have worked on associating with people who seem to value me, rather than those who just want to gossip about you behind your back. I also work on being more entertaining, rather than controversial.

 

[Bible_Belt]

good female friend i have...she confessed that many people from the club is bad mouthing about me

Are these "people" other guys who want to fvck her? If they see her close to you, tearing you down in her eyes would further that goal. It doesn't really have anything to do with any weakness of yours.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The more you got going on in your life and the better your life is the MORE people will bad talk you. It's something you cannot stop, even your family members and friends will do it if you are more successful and ambitious then them.

 

[NSX-R]

good female friend i have...she confessed that many people from the club is bad mouthing about me

Are these "people" other guys who want to fvck her? If they see her close to you, tearing you down in her eyes would further that goal. It doesn't really have anything to do with any weakness of yours.

That female friend of mine is a lesbian so I don't think it has to do with it. Maybe because she's the boss of the place and she spent more time talking to me , that means I have more value than them so jealousy is a thing I guess.

 

[NSX-R]

Reviving this post.
Been a while now since I'm on a vacation in my small hometown and i hear everywhere my name.

All of my old friends are saying how fcking alpha i am and they feel good about it because it makes them feel good themselves as well.
I'm always getting dressed with top quality clothes and following the current trends. I make sure to always show off my high status .
Last couple of days i see some aggression towards me , more precisely from these "old friends". Massive disrespect every time . I noticed that they much prefer to be on mediocre level than try to achieve the top.
So today i acted completely like an @$$$ole and followed my principles.
I told to myself , when you are trying to reach the top , you have to have friends with the same target , otherwise they will drag you down.
To be honest though i don't really care about them.

My problem is that my ego got hurted a bit because of all the bad comments , jealousy and hate towards me .

If you could help with my issue i would really appreciate it.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

-Winston Churchill

 

[Reptar]

What were they saying?

And ignore them, cut them out of your life if you can. If not, then minimize your dealings with them.

I started a volunteer program a year ago, and a member literally talked **** about my public speaking skills and said I wasn't doing enough work. Like, seriously dude?! I ****ing started this program, I've put in more work than anybody, and who the hell judges public speaking skills when we're working on a cause trying to improve people's lives... (kinda venting lol)

Some people are just ****ty as hell. Don't worry about them. These types of people won't go far in life. This individual wants to go to grad school. I am almost certain he won't be able to. The types of people who waste their time gossiping about others will spend their whole lives doing this kind of ****.



Another personal example (lol venting time): A girl I knew in middle school, her parents (and her I believe) literally gossiped about my to other parents at my school (it was a private school). After I found out about this like 6 or 7 years after middle school (already as an adult), I was pretty pissed off and hurt. How can grown adults gossip about a boy who is like 12 years old? They said I did illegal drugs and other such things, warning other parents not to let their kids be around me, when in reality I just had an issue with ADD.

Well, fast forward over a decade after that. I'm preparing for graduate school. She works at Publix and does not even have an Associates Degree. Dead end job, no dreams or aspirations. But that's what happens when you waste mental head space and time on other people's lives. Guys like us (you, me, other self-improvement guys on this forum) grow and change, we are not the same person as we were 5 years ago, and we will not be the same person in 5 years. People who gossip, they stay the same. They live the same year over and over. We experience new things and work on self-growth.


Final note: Letting go of anger and resentment. This is something I'm working on. But my role models and the absolute most successful guys (and people in general) don't hold grudges, and they're not resentful. They just see things objectively, the world is filled with ignorant and stupid people. You can't hate people for being what they naturally are. Can't hate a thief for stealing, can't hate a snake for biting you, can't hate the weather when it rains. The world is the way it is.

I hope this helps. You'll pull through all this. Use these emotions as motivation to improve yourself. The fact that you have the motivation to post on a forum like this, do all sorts of cool **** you mentioned in your post, and were man enough to expose yourself emotionally about this experience on here shows you're going the right direction. Keep it up, and don't be derailed by the haters.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Ok bro, look:

You play tennis. And are a pro.

Tennis by itself is already a very persnickety and jealous sport as it is, and you are among the higher ranks. People are bound to hate you for being better than them because (due to the entitlement that 'everyone's a winner') their ego is much bigger and stronger than their self esteem or personality.

Also, they're mediocre, you are not. Notre Dame did a study once that basically said that mediocre people and non-mediocre people don't get along/don't like each other, and that non-mediocre people like other non-mediocre people and mediocre people like other mediocre people. Now you are great. Hang out with other people as great or greater than you to help bring you up. You don't need anyone to tell you thos either. Good luck on your journey achieving your goal!

 

[NSX-R]

T

Ok bro, look:

You play tennis. And are a pro.

Tennis by itself is already a very persnickety and jealous sport as it is, and you are among the higher ranks. People are bound to hate you for being better than them because (due to the entitlement that 'everyone's a winner') their ego is much bigger and stronger than their self esteem or personality.

Also, they're mediocre, you are not. Notre Dame did a study once that basically said that mediocre people and non-mediocre people don't get along/don't like each other, and that non-mediocre people like other non-mediocre people and mediocre people like other mediocre people. Now you are great. Hang out with other people as great or greater than you to help bring you up. You don't need anyone to tell you thos either. Good luck on your journey achieving your goal!

I think you are right about that. I started to develop a theory myself that not only the environment defines you but also your social circle. It plays a very big role with who you are hanging out with , not only as social proof but also to develop your self , into the way you move , speak , behave and even dress. It's also very important to have friends with higher value than your cause it motivates you to overtakw them and become better.
From my recent experience, i think i have fallen a lot in value while going out with those old friends of mine and i can't explain how mad a I am.

Still , trying to find people with the same beliefs and higher value than yours is quite hard because our current society is based on those people who live their lives in mediocrity so it's quite uncommon.

Thinking about mediocrity makes me really sick and i can't believe how so many people can live with that.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

T

I think you are right about that. I started to develop a theory myself that not only the environment defines you but also your social circle. It plays a very big role with who you are hanging out with , not only as social proof but also to develop your self , into the way you move , speak , behave and even dress. It's also very important to have friends with higher value than your cause it motivates you to overtakw them and become better.
From my recent experience, i think i have fallen a lot in value while going out with those old friends of mine and i can't explain how mad a I am.

Still , trying to find people with the same beliefs and higher value than yours is quite hard because our current society is based on those people who live their lives in mediocrity so it's quite uncommon.

Thinking about mediocrity makes me really sick and i can't believe how so many people can live with that.

You are who you hang out with. There's a reason why a group of friends talking together tend to like the same things, dress the same, and act the same. They become like each other. You need to be strong enough to make others become like you. Or find others like you. The problem with the second optuon is that it's pretty hard to have friends like you who, friends who want to do great things, friends who want to be GREAT. The best thing to do is to not talk about whatever your goals are. Jealousy is a powerful emotion. Now, I'm not really one to believe in any hocus pocus magic bull****, but there's definitely something real about what people call the 'evil eye'. In my experience, when you are around jealous people all the time, bad stuff starts happen man. That's why I don't like to tell people about my goals.

 

[Floydispink01]

Tall poppy syndrome.

 

[NSX-R]

Tall poppy syndrome.

3 years ago , i used to be a big virgin loser that nobody wanted to go out with , didn't cared about anything and i was to afraid of showing myself in front of people.
Fast forward today and I'm the complete opposite of all these things and people have noticed all these changes.Still ,there are some details in me that are still there but I'm trying to fix it aswell.
They propably hate the fact that I was able to improve myself into something better than them and they remained exactly the same as when i knew them back then. The only thing that I'm glad for is that ,from now on , they see me as a challenge and as an example for themselves to become better. I'm really optimistic and really interested to see how it will turned out to be. I see it also myself as a challenge to not remain the same as I'm now but to not let them become better than me or find some other better people and overtake them aswell.

 

[penkitten]

Being 2 faced is cheaper entertainment than having cable TV.

 

[ByronicHero]

As the football player said:" chat sh*t, get banged!" Dont worry about it, son.