How to Spot a Unicorn

[guru1000]

I don't have an issue finding "good looking" women ...

I object

 

[Prodoge]

This discussion really has two poles: @BeExcellent 's point of view and @Tenacity 's. I don't fully agree with both of you, on one hand i don't think a unuversal unicorn who ticks all the boxes exists, on the other hand O believe that one can get more from a women than sexual pleasure.

Nobody is perfect, so a unicorn is a mythical creature. However, everone has their own unicorn, someone who ticks the boxes that they value the most. But then again, if they tick your boxes but you don't tick theirs it is not going to work out.

This is where i agree and disagree with both sides. You can't find your own unicorn by simply spinning plates, you need to invest more time into a person to figure that one out. However, you need to keep meeting new people.
But is it worth that effort?
You may find your personnnal unicorn tomorrow or in 40 years. Who knows.

What I am trying to say is that it is pointless to argue about this unicorn business because everybody here has different expectations of their life.

Maybe someone like Tenacity might find their own unicorn tomorrow and change their point of view completely.

All I can say for sure if that eventually i would like to find a girl who i connect with but untill then, I am fine with spinning plates or casual relationships.

I may still be young at 20 and have way less experience than the average person on SS, but i already know what i expect from my life and i believe that is a good starting point.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Are you yourself this 'high quality' woman that you refer to?

You still haven't answered my question.....

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Unicorns, or the women who approximate one, would naturally gravitate toward the MALE version of a Unicorn. Since most males (by definition of a normal distribution) are low quality, as are most females.

High quality women would be in the top 20% of various categories (looks, intelligence, moral character, time preference, self-directed, etc.).

These types of women would naturally be looking for the top 20% of males (wealth, communication skills, leadership, self confidence, intelligence, drive, emotional balance, etc).

(And within that top 20% there's another top 20%, etc.)

These are basic characteristics. In addition, COMPATIBILITY plays a large role.

It's also highly probable that most women that fall within the top twenty percent of women are already taken.

Does that mean one should give up, and accept a life filled with one-time floozy flings?

Or should one always strive to improve oneself, IN ALL AREAS.

The secret to "finding" that "unicorn" (or the closest approximation based on your own SUBJECTIVE values) is to BECOME A UNICORN yourself.

Of course, that is VERY DIFFICULT, and a LIFELONG TASK.

And accept the IDEA that no matter where you are (looks, health, wealth, social skills, leadership skills, etc.) you can always do better.

However, most guys would rather complain and bang floozies and call it good.

 

[Von]

Unicorns appears when you not looking

 

[BeExcellent]

You still haven't answered my question.....

I did answer your question. I said that it is subjective. I'm quite certain that at 47 I am not YOUR unicorn for example. However I am an accomplished high caliber woman as described by @taiyuu_otoko in his post above.

I have self-confidence born out of accomplishment, looks (which are wonderful but are largely due to great genetics), keep fit (size 2-4 dress), athletic pin-up figure without any artificial enhancements. Again, lucky genetics there. I modeled some in years past but was not tall enough to do that professionally. I look 10-12 years younger than I am. I eat clean, keep fit and have a positive gregarious personality.

Socially I have a naturally alluring vibe that is sexy without being vulgar. People compliment my taste and personal style often. Men love how heads turn when I walk into a room on their arm.

I have a sterling business reputation which I cultivate and cherish. I earn NYC type money and my net worth is in the 7 figure range. I got there while fully supporting my family. I still support my children financially and support my ex-husband as well (since I was the big income earner in the marriage.) I have no consumer debt.

I serve on the board of a charitable foundation and serve in other leadership roles in several organizations. I mentor others when I can because there were people willing to mentor me along the way.

I'm a good mother and a loyal friend.

The men who typically want to date me are 1% men. I always have choices in the 1% because I myself am almost in the 1% (I'd say I'm in the 2%.) It is a function of who I am (which is a by product of years of self-improvement) in addition to what I look like.

This past week a doctor wanted me to play golf (I declined), and an attractive retired professional athlete who is now a CEO & capital partner asked me point blank "Where were you 5 years ago when I was single?" I laughed and told him I was married then.

I enjoy the man I see presently because he is accustomed to beautiful accomplished women. There is no pedestal in sight. He is completely natural with women and has impeccable inner game.

He is every bit as accomplished as I am, he is masculine, handsome, genteel, intelligent, passionate but never vulgar. He is a natural leader and a natural "star" type personality, but he is also grounded and has an immense work ethic. He leads, I defer. He is kind and has a regal bearing. He has ambitious projects he is working on, he is a great father, he has close family relationships. He inspires me to be better just by existing, and I encourage him to accomplish the things he has set before him. I also encourage him to enjoy the now; to play. I cherish and value his time and find him devilishly sexy. I respect the hell out of him. We are compatible and complimentary. It's quite lovely. We dated 6 months before sex and he is the only man I've gone to bed with since my ex. He is the only man I've even THOUGHT about going to bed with since my ex.

Am I a unicorn? Some would say so but it's not for me to determine.

 

[grayclif]

Looking for a good woman... is like looking for a unicorn, and you don't LOOK for a unicorn.

+1

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

which are wonderful but are largely due to great genetics

Genetics...

Again, lucky genetics there.

Genetics..

He is kind and has a regal bearing.

Regal. Kings. Royalty.

As loath as most men are to even contemplate such a thing, the 1% ARE the 1% largely because of genetics. In the book The Son Also Rises, Economist Gregory Clark points out that after studying several GENERATIONS of surnames, he found that the same surnames tended toward wealth (even after a few generations of poverty) and the same surnames tended toward poverty (even after a few generations of wealth).

How much of our fate is tied to the status of our parents and grandparents? How much does it influence our children? More than we wish to believe. While it has been argued that rigid class structures have eroded in favor of greater social equality, The Son Also Rises proves that movement on the social ladder has changed little over eight centuries. Using a novel technique—tracking family names over generations to measure social mobility across countries and periods—renowned economic historian Gregory Clark reveals that mobility rates are lower than conventionally estimated, do not vary across societies, and are resistant to social policies.

Clark examines and compares surnames in such diverse cases as modern Sweden and Qing Dynasty China. He demonstrates how fate is determined by ancestry and that almost all societies have similarly low social mobility rates. Challenging popular assumptions about mobility and revealing the deeply entrenched force of inherited advantage, The Son Also Rises is sure to prompt intense debate for years to come.

However... as @BeExcellent points out...

which is a by product of years of self-improvement

Genetics ain't everything. It's every humans duty to improve themselves as much as they can, so they can get as much as they can, mates included.

Market dynamics and basic economics indicate that the HIGHEST QUALITY woman you can attract (all things considered) is pretty much equal to YOUR QUALITY LEVEL on the male social status hierarchy.

As much as sosuavers try to argue otherwise, the idea of a HIGH QUALITY MALE that only ends up with "low quality woman" is an ego protecting myth.

The BEST WAY to measure YOUR QUALITY on the male "social status hierarchy" is by looking DIRECTLY at the highest quality women you can attract.

 

[guru1000]

Fastlife:

So you want me to cite some Guru1000 poetry, so that you feel better. I won't. You're still young enough to make a difference in your life. Once you hit the age of 35, you will be set in your ways, your eyes will close, and change becomes an intransigent feat. I was lucky enough at the tender age of 20 to be surrounded by some big players who nurtured my thinking paradigms. I wasn't born a model. I was born quite poor. But I am willing to die to be the best.

Don't wish it were easier. GET BETTER ...

 

[Tenacity]

Am I a unicorn?

You are a unicorn from a financial standpoint that's for sure, I can barely find a chick that can stay current on her damn car note lol. But at the age of 47 - 50, you have the soul of a different "breed" of woman that has died out.

In my Generation (The Millennial Generation) of women age 18 - 35, if I set out to date a woman that had her finances together to the point like you have...it would literally be like trying to find Big Foot.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I did answer your question. I said that it is subjective. I'm quite certain that at 47 I am not YOUR unicorn for example. However I am an accomplished high caliber woman as described by @taiyuu_otoko in his post above.

I have self-confidence born out of accomplishment, looks (which are wonderful but are largely due to great genetics), keep fit (size 2-4 dress), athletic pin-up figure without any artificial enhancements. Again, lucky genetics there. I modeled some in years past but was not tall enough to do that professionally. I look 10-12 years younger than I am. I eat clean, keep fit and have a positive gregarious personality.

Socially I have a naturally alluring vibe that is sexy without being vulgar. People compliment my taste and personal style often. Men love how heads turn when I walk into a room on their arm.

I have a sterling business reputation which I cultivate and cherish. I earn NYC type money and my net worth is in the 7 figure range. I got there while fully supporting my family. I still support my children financially and support my ex-husband as well (since I was the big income earner in the marriage.) I have no consumer debt.

I serve on the board of a charitable foundation and serve in other leadership roles in several organizations. I mentor others when I can because there were people willing to mentor me along the way.

I'm a good mother and a loyal friend.

The men who typically want to date me are 1% men. I always have choices in the 1% because I myself am almost in the 1% (I'd say I'm in the 2%.) It is a function of who I am (which is a by product of years of self-improvement) in addition to what I look like.

This past week a doctor wanted me to play golf (I declined), and an attractive retired professional athlete who is now a CEO & capital partner asked me point blank "Where were you 5 years ago when I was single?" I laughed and told him I was married then.

I enjoy the man I see presently because he is accustomed to beautiful accomplished women. There is no pedestal in sight. He is completely natural with women and has impeccable inner game.

He is every bit as accomplished as I am, he is masculine, handsome, genteel, intelligent, passionate but never vulgar. He is a natural leader and a natural "star" type personality, but he is also grounded and has an immense work ethic. He leads, I defer. He is kind and has a regal bearing. He has ambitious projects he is working on, he is a great father, he has close family relationships. He inspires me to be better just by existing, and I encourage him to accomplish the things he has set before him. I also encourage him to enjoy the now; to play. I cherish and value his time and find him devilishly sexy. I respect the hell out of him. We are compatible and complimentary. It's quite lovely. We dated 6 months before sex and he is the only man I've gone to bed with since my ex. He is the only man I've even THOUGHT about going to bed with since my ex.

Am I a unicorn? Some would say so but it's not for me to determine.

And how many women have you met are like you or the person in the post you mentioned?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The secret to "finding" that "unicorn" (or the closest approximation based on your own SUBJECTIVE values) is to BECOME A UNICORN yourself.

That's the thing: everyone is trying to FIND that unicorn, but no one is trying to BE that unicorn.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's the thing: everyone is trying to FIND that unicorn, but no one is trying to BE that unicorn.

A guy impeccably built in the top 1%, top 1% earner, dominant physically and a "nice guy" whose humble.

 

[Tenacity]

Does she have supermodel looks ? No. She's a solid 8

I use the following looks categories:

- 2 and lower
- 3 to 4
- 5 to 6
- 7 and higher

If your girl is a legit "8" then she is at the top tier of looks because there's NO such thing as a 9 or a 10. Supermodels have to use a lot of makeup, digital editing, surgeries, and a bunch of other things to be a 9 or 10. Usually a girl that's at least a 7 can do the same thing and be a 9 or a 10.

 

[BeExcellent]

And how many women have you met are like you or the person in the post you mentioned?

Many. Look guys high caliber people congregate with each other. That shouldn't be a surprise.

I could list off 20 more women who I know personally like this. Most are happily married. Some are more successful in life than I, some are prettier, some live in more exclusive areas and drive nicer cars etc. etc. etc. Most are over 40, but not all are. It can take time to reach a level of success. Some people get more of a head start than others.

I wasn't always the success I am now; but I was always ambitious in my own right. My family taught me that beauty is wonderful but that beauty is fleeting. That you better not expect to get by just on your looks and you better be able to take care of your own affairs. I made lots of mistakes along the way or I would have made it much faster to where I am now.

You are a unicorn from a financial standpoint that's for sure, I can barely find a chick that can stay current on her damn car note lol. But at the age of 47 - 50, you have the soul of a different "breed" of woman that has died out.

@Tenacity you know I'm rooting for you. It's not so much that women like me have died out so much as they may not have developed yet. I was not in this position 10-12 years ago. I had worked hard, taken calculated risks. I was making great money and looking at ways to get to where I am now but I was nowhere near where I stand now. Overnight success is a myth. More of a myth than this unicorn business.

Here's my advice to you. Keep bettering Tenacity. While you continue your own self improvement look more closely at your Group B women. If you find a "cute" or "cute as hell" woman without kids (or just 1 - whatever) who has messed up finances what if she has DESIRE to be better? What if she doesn't know how? You might find an opportunity there somewhere. It's much easier to change financial habits than weight/diet habits. That's an area where you can lead her very naturally.

Otherwise I agree 100% with the assertion that really is the whole premise upon which SS exists, which is that you attract the best women by becoming the best man you can. Water will always seek its own level. Focus on becoming the unicorn. IF I am one, it isn't totally by accident folks.

Hell be Pegasus. He's cooler than the unicorn anyway. He can fly. Cheers Gents

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Many. Look guys high caliber people congregate with each other. That shouldn't be a surprise.

I could list off 20 more women who I know personally like this. Most are happily married. Some are more successful in life than I, some are prettier, some live in more exclusive areas and drive nicer cars etc. etc. etc. Most are over 40, but not all are. It can take time to reach a level of success. Some people get more of a head start than others.

I wasn't always the success I am now; but I was always ambitious in my own right. My family taught me that beauty is wonderful but that beauty is fleeting. That you better not expect to get by just on your looks and you better be able to take care of your own affairs. I made lots of mistakes along the way or I would have made it much faster to where I am now.

you know I'm rooting for you. It's not so much that women like me have died out so much as they may not have developed yet. I was not in this position 10-12 years ago. I had worked hard, taken calculated risks. I was making great money and looking at ways to get to where I am now but I was nowhere near where I stand now. Overnight success is a myth. More of a myth than this unicorn business.

Perhaps they develop later on because as they say here, the woman's biological clock is ticking down so now she wants to get settled. I myself have no experience with older women (obviously lol) but at what age do women begin to develop into a unicorn? And where are these 'unicorns' found too?

 

[Yewki]

Does she have supermodel looks ? No. She's a solid 8

Kinda funny since I don't even consider most "super models" to be an 8

 

[BeExcellent]

@ImTheDoubleGreatest!

That's the challenge isn't it?

Obviously the top 1% is going to be the complete total package (looks, wealth, character etc.). Those people already know who they are, where to look, what they are looking for and how to get it. They have the life skills that made them a 1% person.

If you are in high school or college, notice your peers who are doing something that requires effort and self-discipline. Good grades require discipline & effort. Playing a sport or an instrument well requires discipline and effort.

Discipline and work ethic are traits that are extremely valuable because they are applicable in all avenues of life. These are foundation traits that allow and encourage success to develop. Develop these traits in yourself.

Look for women who are positive and have a giving heart. Who helps organize the Special Olympics? Who volunteers in the community? Who helps in her parent's business? Who is in leadership in the student government? Who serves others? Who is encouraging?

Often these women will not be in the spotlight. They will be a member of something, a supporter of something, a contributor to something other than themselves. Can you see how that translates? If she knows how to give, contribute and support those traits can be valuable in a mate. So find women or men from families who value these kinds of traits and get to know them. Build your social network around these people if you want quality in your life.

One of my business mentors is my college roommate's father. He's a self made millionaire. His daughter is still one of my oldest & closest friends. Our young sons are very close friends and we laugh that we will set my daughter up with her son when they get older because we want to see our children with people we know to be great people. It's a joke (but not entirely.)

Notice how almost none of that has to do with appearance? A quality woman can be pretty or she can ugly or somewhere in the middle insofar as her appearance goes. She has whatever genetics she has and not everyone gets blessed in that way. The point of working out and dressing well & eating healthy is to best enhance whatever genetics you have and make the most of what you got to work with.

I don't mean fat. Fat = lazy. Lazy = unacceptable.

Many men here work very hard to keep their body in great shape. I do too. It gets harder as you get older. It is a priority that is easily observable in someone else. It points to those foundation traits of discipline and hard work. See how those manifest everywhere?

But the world is FULL of beautiful losers. Both men and women. You have to be able to see past someone's looks. Either to add greater value to a lesser beauty or to understand that a great beauty is that and only that. What else does she offer?

It is more an adjustment of HOW you look and what you look for, what you value, than it is WHERE you look.

 

[BeExcellent]

And if the market is truly horrid in your location.....

Relocate. There are places where you can increase your chances of success once you get out of higher education.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Look for women who are positive and have a giving heart. Who helps organize the Special Olympics? Who volunteers in the community? Who helps in her parent's business? Who is in leadership in the student government? Who serves others? Who is encouraging?

The problem is that with most people in our radical liberal society, no one is a true giver anymore. People only give because they want their egos caressed by others talking about how 'great of a person' they are. There are very few truly altruistic people. Women can temporarily be truly altruisitic simply because the live and feel in the momemt much more so than men, but what happens when that facade fades? What is a man to do when her true inspiration fades?

Also again, when do women tend to develop into these 'unicorns' that you say? And where is the best place to find them?