AWALT (including mothers/sisters)

[CMNILS87]

At a going away party for my cousin at a bar with the whole family. Texted to confirm a date earlier that night with a gal, she confirmed and flaked later and didn't show. Mother and sister both chimed in on how i should do dating and first dates

F1: How'd the date go?
Me: It didn't, she confirmed and then flaked
F1: Oh that's too bad
F2: Why'd she flake?
Me: Idk, women flake for whatever reason, she missed out on a fun date of beer and bowling
F1: Well what did you do then?
Me: so you think i did something wrong?
F1: well yeah...
Me: i offered beer and bowling, she countered with apps and sit down dinner. I said nah, I'm into action dates and goofing around. She said cool
F2: Well what if she didn't like bowling? you've got to compromise.
Me: compromise on a first date??? shes not doing well if shes counter offering agaisnt me.
F1: Yea you have to decided to do something you both like together
Me: the date is irrelevant, if shes interested, she'd have fun letting me lead and doing whatever with me.
F2: what do you mean by lead?
Me: lead the situation, create the fun, have a good time....
F2: Christopher.....you're suppose to compromise. This is why your dating life is so bad
Me: Nah my dating life is great, If a girl doesn't like beer and bowling, then i can rule her out as long term potential. plenty more out there to have fun with.
Me: I'm gonna go play pool


Even my mother and sister aren't immune to the entitlement that they think they should get. everything should be a compromise, even on the first date.

 

[Konada]

Mum: Maybe you should try being friends first instead of asking her out so fast

We all know how that works out.

 

[MrOctober]

Especially date one.

It's our job as men to lead. Period.

 

[ubercat]

Heheh yep you have to be all Disney romance at family gatherings. I am now.

I used to get all sorts of heat for having had too many 'girlfriends' and treating woman ".... like they are a commodity".

Which was great because it confirmed in my mind that my AFC days were gone forever.

I've also had comments from my mother and sister where I talked about paying for things with girlfriends and they approvingly said "...every man should help a bit.". And note they all have careers.

So yes even with the woman in your family remember their first loyalty is to the female Collective. Same rule as for friends don't talk about the red pill.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Hells no on the app & sit down dinner. Thumbs up! This is why we have all these fattys every were we go.

Beers & bowling is a good move, I'll try it out see how it goes. Usually that's in the 3rd or 4th slot but it's good to mix it up. I prefer competitive broads that have some athleticism too so this is an excellent test to gauge all of that out. That and you can get a nice view of the a**, make sure it's up to par.

I have 4 sister so yeah no doubt about the AWALT.

 

[BeTheChange]

Raised by single mothers and taking advice from women is half the reason this site exists. Ignore everything that comes out their mouths on this topic.

 

[CMNILS87]

Hells no on the app & sit down dinner. Thumbs up! This is why we have all these fattys every were we go.

Beers & bowling is a good move, I'll try it out see how it goes. Usually that's in the 3rd or 4th slot but it's good to mix it up. I prefer competitive broads that have some athleticism too so this is an excellent test to gauge all of that out. That and you can get a nice view of the a**, make sure it's up to par.

I have 4 sister so yeah no doubt about the AWALT.

She was a little hottie kindergarten teacher. Tight body and smile, but yo can't tease from across a table

 

[guru1000]

Me: i offered beer and bowling, she countered with apps and sit down dinner.

I would have just responded, "No thank you. Maybe another time." To some, this may seem extreme, but with these "types," I have had a 100% relationship failure ratio. It's simply incompatibility when her knee-jerk reaction is to trump your lead. You can always see the end in the beginning if you look close enough.

 

[dustmuffin]

My mom **** tests me all of the time. I just leave. You should see the look on her face as I walk out the door,

 

[CMNILS87]

I would have just responded, "No thank you. Maybe another time." To some, this may seem extreme, but with these "types," I have had a 100% relationship failure ratio. It's simply incompatibility when her knee-jerk reaction is to trump your lead. You can always see the end in the beginning if you look close enough.

Thanks for that tidbit

 

[Konada]

I would have just responded, "No thank you. Maybe another time." To some, this may seem extreme, but with these "types," I have had a 100% relationship failure ratio. It's simply incompatibility when her knee-jerk reaction is to trump your lead. You can always see the end in the beginning if you look close enough.

Very true. It comes in the form of a gut feeling that something is off but you can't exactly tell what it is unless you really analyse it further. If a girl gives me this feeling any time during our interaction its an automatic out for her.

 

[Trump]

At a going away party for my cousin at a bar with the whole family. Texted to confirm a date earlier that night with a gal, she confirmed and flaked later and didn't show. Mother and sister both chimed in on how i should do dating and first dates

Me: i offered beer and bowling, she countered with apps and sit down dinner. I said nah, I'm into action dates and goofing around. She said cool
F2: Well what if she didn't like bowling? you've got to compromise.
Me: compromise on a first date??? shes not doing well if shes counter offering agaisnt me.
F1: Yea you have to decided to do something you both like together
Me: the date is irrelevant, if shes interested, she'd have fun letting me lead and doing whatever with me.

Bro you are not making sense. If the date is irrelevant and AWALT, why would any girl have fun being with you and doing whatever? You need to be useful for her.

No girl cares about a guy personally. If they do they are a good actress. They only care about what you can do for them.

 

[CMNILS87]

Bro you are not making sense. If the date is irrelevant and AWALT, why would any girl have fun being with you and doing whatever? You need to be useful for her.

No girl cares about a guy personally. If they do they are a good actress. They only care about what you can do for them.

Because the date really is irrelevant. I want her to come do something with me that i enjoy. Essentially she has to enter my frame. In this case, she didn't want to do that. even if she hates bowling, if its the right guy to tease and enjoy his company she would love the **** out of it. @guru1000 is probably better at explaining this since hes older, but women are a collective of thoughts and experiences from past relationships. That girl that loves kayaking or going to rodeos essentially learned to love it from another boyfriend or her father. That's why women like to tag along and "ride the wave" with a man. Whenever a girl says she wants a man that challenges her and she can grow with him together, essentially she wants to do things with him and learn things from him and assimilate these new experiences.

Women should really be called "The Borg"
Resistance is Futile

 

[guru1000]

Perhaps I should have qualified my post. Having been through a string of garbage this month and seeking an LTR, I've been quite disappointed in what I have seen. And hence, my post was directed toward LTR game.

It's important to bifurcate between "Seduction" and "LTR Game." With the former, any girl under the right condition and pitch and by the right guy is capable of being seduced. You could have ignored her counter, bantered with her a little, and then reintroduced the date with drinks under the "guise" of getting to know her better. Then seduce her in person.

But:
If you were seeking an LTR, this girl is a speculative investment. IF you introduce a date to a girl, and IF she were LTR worthy but did not want to entertain the activity you introduced (i.e., she just got her nails done and if you went bowling, she could break a nail), she could have responded with, "I would like to go out with you again but I just got my nails done and don't want to ruin them. How about we do something else?" Here, she explains her reason, embraces her femininity, and doesn't belie your masculinity. Such a girl passed your test!

Now one could reasonably counter that she was shvt testing you. Very possible. That's why an appropriate response would be "No thanks. Maybe another day." Then reach out to her in a week, ask for the date, and gauge her response.

I find that as much as I could seduce a woman with no time constraints, I am never truly respected by her unless I am willing to walk away when she attempts to manipulate (a/k/a "game," "shvt-test") me. But here in the context of LTR game, the onus falls on her to prove herself to YOU, not contrariwise

 

[pyros]

In my opinion you over-reacted.
It was a FIRST DATE, she doesnt even know you.

She said that she didnt want to go bowling...ok, why didn't you ask her why she doesn't want to do that?
It could be that:
1 She plays really bad.
2 She has some health problem in her wrists, arms, etc.
3 She used to go bowling all the damn time with her ex bf.
4 other.

You should have asked her why, and once you knew then you could have made a better decision.
You could have done either another plan, or you could have just not gone out with her, up to you.

Again, in my opinion, you were too 'alpha' and you lost your opportunity. You could have taken her date idea, and had you liked her... you could have gone bowling on date three or four, once she actually liked you, you know.

You can be more flexible, compromomise a bit (as your mother says) once in a while and you will still be the man, you know.

Anyway, she flaked on you so I guess she would have done the same in any case...

 

[CMNILS87]

In my opinion you over-reacted.
It was a FIRST DATE, she doesnt even know you.

She said that she didnt want to go bowling...ok, why didn't you ask her why she doesn't want to do that?
It could be that:
1 She plays really bad.
2 She has some health problem in her wrists, arms, etc.
3 She used to go bowling all the damn time with her ex bf.
4 other.

You should have asked her why, and once you knew then you could have made a better decision.
You could have done either another plan, or you could have just not gone out with her, up to you.

Again, in my opinion, you were too 'alpha' and you lost your opportunity. You could have taken her date idea, and had you liked her... you could have gone bowling on date three or four, once she actually liked you, you know.

You can be more flexible, compromomise a bit (as your mother says) once in a while and you will still be the man, you know.

Anyway, she flaked on you so I guess she would have done the same in any case...

it wasn't even an over reaction. I told her that i like to reserve apps/dinner for later dates and i would much prefer a lighter and fun setting for a first date. She could either accept that or not.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

She didn't want to go bowling because apps and dinner put free food in her belly and you can't eat a bowling ball.

You should have said "OK, I'll do dinner if you give me the bowling ball treatment after" lol

 

[guru1000]

it wasn't even an over reaction. I told her that i like to reserve apps/dinner for later dates and i would much prefer a lighter and fun setting for a first date. She could either accept that or not.

First date and she countered for a free dinner? I would have pumped and dumped her just on the principle of her trying. LOL.

No loss here.

 

[The Duke]

I think this girl wasn't sure about you and she threw the dinner suggestion out there incase her fears were true. At least she would have gotten something out of it.

If a girl is really into you from the start, it really doesn't matter what you do. And why waste your time with girls that aren't????

She just showed she wasn't very submissive, and or she wasn't that into you, or she wanted a free meal. Screw those types of girls....quit giving them opportunities. You guys who do are part of the problem.

I have a late 30's HB7.5 cousin. She lives in a really nice apartment right in the middle of a bunch of restaurants, bars, and shops. When she isn't real sure about a guy she is planning to meet on a first date....you know what she does? She tells him to meet her at one of the restaurants a few yards from her apartment. Little do they know she lives just steps away. I asked her why she does this and she said so she wasn't out any time driving somewhere, and at least she would get a free meal out of it. Yep, straight form the horse's mouth. Yep there's a reason she has trouble finding a guy, and has never been married, even tho she desperately wants to be!

 

[CMNILS87]

Hells no on the app & sit down dinner. Thumbs up! This is why we have all these fattys every were we go.

Beers & bowling is a good move, I'll try it out see how it goes. Usually that's in the 3rd or 4th slot but it's good to mix it up. I prefer competitive broads that have some athleticism too so this is an excellent test to gauge all of that out. That and you can get a nice view of the a**, make sure it's up to par.

I have 4 sister so yeah no doubt about the AWALT.

What's your guys take on public park dates? I honestly love them. Play lawn games, walk, sit on benches. I get a lot of resistance from that one. It's a public place and people are always around. No different than a bar