Struggling for motivation.

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I have hit a point where I just dont give a fark about my life and getting shyt done. I do have women in my life which is going great but everything else is just meh..
My sleep varies from not great to adequate. My diet is the same. I struggle to go to the gym or tidy my house. I dont fap at all. Im not suicidal.

I dunno guys, any advice from people who have been in the same situation would be good.

 

[sodbuster]

it happens Give it a month or so.... sometimes when you've pushed hard for months, you need to just chill, it's your mind telling you that you've overworked. Just take the time you need. Don't worry about it unless it lasts for more than 90 days...

 

[ubercat]

Sports does it for me. Winning a mighty battle on the tennis court gets the T and the endorphins running. The of a traditional remedy is a break change of scenery. Why not do both take a 3 Day weekend and book yourself in for a two-day windsurfing course somewhere sunny.

 

[BeExcellent]

Perhaps you've simply hit a plateau and are casting about for a new dragon to slay.

I find I need a mental reset at times. A moment to get above the individual trees and focus on the forest & the life goals. Once I consider the long view I get excited about it again and back to the more mundane process of getting there without losing sight of doing some living in the moment too. I'm a big list maker. I manifest my goals into writing and put them before me. I'm brutally honest with this process. The process and the lists train my subconscious mind what to notice, and then I reinforce daily the process and the bigger goals. Then opportunity tends to find me (or I find it without much conscious effort.)

Many people think this is hocus pocus. Ten or 20 years ago so did I. But now I trust the process. It's remarkably reliable.

Have you had a vacation in a while? Perhaps a change of venue would get your passion ignited. Anywhere you always wanted to go? Why not now?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Had a holiday last week. First day back still feels like groundhog day.

 

[Huffman]

Speaking about life goals, do you have any?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yes... Get into the police force and become a dog handler. Become mortgage free, see more parts of my own country, get my fitness to an acceptable level, be free of my ex-wife. Get my truck and bus license, publish, get a decent nights sleep. I am also thinking about starting a business renovating prefabricated homes.

 

[Huffman]

Well, so you feel like nothing you do is truly worthwile, truly special? All your recent successes are ok, but don't feel important?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

A little... It is more that my "I dont give a **** about this" pile is growing bigger and bigger.

 

[BeExcellent]

Ok. So declutter and jettison the junk that is stagnating you. Simplify. Clarify. This will create more psychological space to breathe in your environs both physically & psychically.

See. Even I managed to say something without 5 paragraphs. I feel better already

 

[PantyWhisperer]

It is called a rut. I get in them. I'm in one now. The tennis example was great advice. When I was playing regularly and playing well that charged up my poon hunting batteries big time. It can give even the most beta guy ever, at least a temporary shot of alpha. Even if it doesn't result in a new plate, you do feel damn good.

My rut coincides with songwriters block but I don't know that there is cause and effect. I think it's more just a general malaise which is not conducive to being creative.
Part of it is getting older, IDGAF about a great many things that I used to hold important. Call it perspective or call it grace, at times it is alarming. It's like "Where did the fvck I used to give go??? Did I run out of fvcks to give??"

 

[ubercat]

DMP might be about focus. As you get older there are some things you should not give a f*** about as there are some things you should care more. Personally I always find I have to work hard to spend time with family and good friends. In this BS social media Zoo they want us to live in it's far too easy to spend too much precious time doing things you don't want to do with people you don't want to know. I would try going a bit deeper in the relationships that you do value. And yeah you do need to find some pastime that gets the adrenaline going. Let's face it for a mature DJ ***** alone ain't going to do it. You may also not be as shallow as you hope. A lot of the mature guys here are into yoga , Buddhism, meditation, Stoicism etc. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

 

[Killakittie]

A little... It is more that my "I dont give a **** about this" pile is growing bigger and bigger.

Sounds to me like your subconscious is starting to tell you that what you thought was important in your life isn't. Your pile is you realizing your need for fulfillment beyond the material, beyond the financial, and this is disturbing at first because it feels counterintuitive.

Our unconsciousness, our intuition has a way of subtly guiding us to balance. When we ignore that intuition the balance becomes lop sided, we experience stress, we feel incomplete, and indecisive.

Explore yourself and these emotions. Your trying to tell yourself something, listen it's important, and may take time to decipher.

 

[ubercat]

If you haven't read these books I'd suggest they might be good tools on the journey the willpower Instinct and the power of habit.

Take out is basically that working towards your long list of goals is going to sap willpower unless you build routines.

Willpower is finite and moving effort into habit basically frees up Will Power for other goals.

Similar to the "get things done" systems idea that if you move your to do items on to lists your freeing up more ram to be present in the moment.

 

[Solomon]

I was working a ****ty job for 4 years and burned the **** out like OP

I loathed my job, it caused me so much stress and anxiety you wouldn't believe but i stayed because you need money right

Don't get me wrong I made decent money nothing to brag about but enough money to enjoy a couple NICE vacations per year

I don't work that job anymore

Not sure if OP likes his job but for some of us that's what's causing our unhappiness

 

[Solomon]

Another thing OP try mediation that has helped me a lot

 

[Tenacity]

I have hit a point where I just dont give a fark about my life and getting shyt done. I do have women in my life which is going great but everything else is just meh..
My sleep varies from not great to adequate. My diet is the same. I struggle to go to the gym or tidy my house. I dont fap at all. Im not suicidal.

I dunno guys, any advice from people who have been in the same situation would be good.

Yes... Get into the police force and become a dog handler. Become mortgage free, see more parts of my own country, get my fitness to an acceptable level, be free of my ex-wife. Get my truck and bus license, publish, get a decent nights sleep. I am also thinking about starting a business renovating prefabricated homes.

Looks like all that is doable but getting rid of the ex-wife! Ex-wives and baby mommas are like roaches, just when you think you've eliminated them from your life...they POP up again. You can't get rid of roaches, all you can do is move!

But no man, I myself have a list of objectives that I set to achieve within a year's period, then I break that down by quarter, then by month, then by week, then by day.

- Do I feel like NOT getting up and moving sometimes? Of course.
- Do I feel like getting off my workout/eating plan sometimes? Of course.
- Do I feel like telling the world to go to hell and not leaving the house for a month? Of course.

Success is not a feeling, success is a process. It's just a process of getting up, every day, and doing whatever the fvck you are supposed to do/need to do, to get done what needs to get done. Some days you feel good....some days you feel like shyt.....some days you want to blow your fvcking brains out or BLOW someone else's brains out....but through it all, you keep going.

It's why "TENACITY" is my favorite word. It's all about staying true to what you got to get done, even if you don't feel like doing it, are hurt, are sad, are depressed, are injured, are bitter, or whatever.

Just get up and keep moving brother.....despite how you FEEL.

 

[ubercat]

So @daddymonsterpoodle lot of people trying to help out here. Has any of this resonated?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yeah... Meditation is a thing to think about. My brain just spins and spins thinking about shyt and I cant turn that off sometimes which fvcks with my sleep. Ill have a look at those books too.

Will going to the gym in the evening mess with my sleeping?

 

[ubercat]

Probably, your producing a high level of arousal in the body. Better to move it to early morning if you possibly can. Regarding sleep I don't know what you've tried so here s a few suggestions. Chamomile tea an hour before bed really does help. Laptop or phone screen time in the evening can really mess up your sleep. I use an app called Twilight which reduces the screen brightness and Colour intensity at night. Free from the Google Play Store and there's bound to be an equivalent in iOS. Stop caffeine after 3 p.m. as it has A 3 hour Half-Life. Drink plenty of water during the day and don't drink before bedtime so you're not getting up to piss if that is an issue for you.

If you do want to do anything physical at night I suggest a calming yoga routine plenty on YouTube. There are 10 minute yoga routines if you are feeling time poor.

I haven't tried it personally but a lot of people swear by journalling idea being that you get your issues worries down on paper and that gets them out of your head.

I also personally find muscle tension a real issue as I get older. You work out so your muscles get tense which means it's harder to sleep which means your muscles get more tense... you get the idea. I get a Thai massage every 2 weeks and practice yoga anytime I can.

It's surprisingly hard to get into meditation. We're so used to doing things it seems weird and lazy to just sit there.

Of course meditation is not just sitting there it's actually a workout for your mind.

There's a few paths into it that can work.

I'd suggest yoga, transendental meditation where you just repeat a word that means nothing, thoughts will Bubble Up just ignore them and keep repeating your word EG could be money any word that has two syllables will do. Guided meditation is also good Tara brach has a bunch of them that you can download for free from her website.

For a quick fix try 7-Eleven breathing. Inhale and sink the air down so that your lower stomach pushes out. Hold your hand against your stomach to check yourself while you are getting the idea. Inhale 4 7 seconds and exhale for 11 seconds. As you exhale pull in your stomach. Do that for 2 minutes and your body and mind will be calm enough to move over to doing your transcendental meditation. That's a good quick fix for when you wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning with busy mind. Even if you cannot sleep after trying that, the meditation will produce a resting effect in the body