Thoughts which help you rise above your agonizing breakup...

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BlueAlpha1

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Alright, so we know why you clicked on this thread. It was bad. Maybe it's been a day, a week, a month, a year - you're not over it yet. I feel you. It's been a year from me, and it still haunts me.

But there is one little factoid that, if you play your cards right, will one day bring you a redemption so pleasing you'll be able to sell your own self-help product: the wall.

It seems to be a trend that the crazier the girl was, and the more you were hooked, the more baggage they actually had, and it's a great mystery of the world how you could get attached to such a low quality woman. Mine was 8 years older, with two kids by two different men, multiple other partners, a history of cheating, and emotionally unstable. But as you know she was sweet when we first met, and only 29 years old.

We all know from the contributions of Rollo Tomassi that in the case of a 29 year old woman with a 21 year old guy, the scales are still significantly favored to the female. She might be approaching the wall but hasn't yet it hit, and your best days are about 12 years ahead. You have nothing to offer but a cute little challenge for her, can I still get the young buck? Of course I was out of my league...

Now I'm 27, and she's 35. Think about that. In 5 years she'll be 40 years old. Graying hair, extra weight, and the realization that the good days are long behind. And I'll be 32. Now we may not speak over these next 5 years. But if you think she's not going to sit there pulling her hair out wondering, "did he get married?", "did he become a millionaire?", "did he travel the world without me?" then you'd be wrong.

Not to mention, a woman who makes the sort of bad choices that destroys herself and men is not going to change, especially so late in the game. She will carry that baggage into her washed up years making it all the more harder to find a true Alpha to quench her desires. She may find a beta who placates her just enough so that she doesn't go crazy missing you, she might be "haaapppy", but she'll always wonder. There's going to come a day where she'll be very sorry, IF you keep your commitments to yourself to become a better man. This is the key - women are far more intuitive than you think. And she will know without having spoken to you in 5 years.

I put the two of us about equal on the SMV scale now. I have not yet peaked but I'm trending upward. From what I remember she's declining but still hanging around a bit longer (some women still look good into their late 30's). But the future doesn't look good for her. And it doesn't for your ex either. Even if you were the same age, a 36 year old man has huge advantages over a 36 year old woman.

Fellow millennials, it's up to YOU what you make these crucial next 5-10 years. The elitist cynics of this forum will scoff and come with the usual "pfftt, way too much effort for one girl, just improve yourself bro!" Or they'll tell you revenge is petty. Bull. Taking revenge by living extra well is a perfectly natural impulse. Ignore the condescension but take the kernel of truth in there that you SHOULD do it for you. But it doesn't hurt to take comfort from this extraordinary side effect...
 
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thatfeel

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If I had an agonizing breakup I'm not sure I'd find any comfort from this thread.
 

MrWood

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I think to my ex wife, American (as I am) and very "hot for her age" @ 32/33yo. Tall, thin and athletic

I have a pic of her when she was 36 or so, hitting an obvious wall... she is 50 now (no idea what she looks like now)
Now I am 50, but realize the European women I date 32-40 look WAY WAY better than she did at 36, and simply cannot compete or raise my interest.
She would not get any attention from me if she walked into a room I am certain.

Yes, as men we grow in and maintain SMV well into our 50's while most women peak between 34-40.

Will visit Vegas/SF in a few weeks and will just laugh at all of the "look good for their age" being wrinkly and pathetic and acting very entitled.
 
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BlueAlpha1

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I think to my ex wife, American (as I am) and very "hot for her age" @ 32/33yo. Tall, thin and athletic

I have a pic of her when she was 36 or so, hitting an obvious wall... she is 50 now (no idea what she looks like now)
Now I am 50, but realize the European women I date 32-40 look WAY WAY better than she did at 36, and simply cannot compete or raise my interest.
She would not get any attention from me if she walked into a room I am certain.

Yes, as men we grow in and maintain SMV well into our 50's while most women peak between 34-40.

Will visit Vegas/SF in a few weeks and will just laugh at all of the "look good for their age" being wrinkly and pathetic and acting very entitled.
I think most both genders peak much younger. But I don't go as young as Rollo who believes women peak at 23, hit the wall by 30, and then men don't peak until 38.

I think women peak around 23-25, very slowly level off 26-35, and hit the wall hard late 30's. Men peak around 34-36. These numbers are subjective.

Have fun in Vegas
 

JJRocker

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Brother you hit on something that resonated with me in a big way! I was texting this younger gal who would walk away from everything if I asked her to. Not my scene if you know what I mean. Any how she made a comment about living up to other peoples standards. It was an epiphany moment. The inner workings of the universe were revealed to me. You set your own standards! Then you choose every moment of every day whether you live up to them or not! This is monumental to me. I hope it resonates with others as well!
 

BeTheChange

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This thread is useless if you dated a hot young chick....
 
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BlueAlpha1

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This thread is useless if you dated a hot young chick....
This response is useless if you gloss over the whole point. Eventually every man will pass his ex in SMV unless she was 20 years younger or something. If she's a hot young chick it'll just take longer
 

BeTheChange

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This response is useless if you gloss over the whole point. Eventually every man will pass his ex in SMV unless she was 20 years younger or something. If she's a hot young chick it'll just take longer
In the long run we're all dead...moot point.

Dumping or being dumped by a 22 year old hottie when you know she's at the peak of her SMV and can secure another high value man sucks and this post won't help with that at all. Just laying down some truths.
 

mrgoodstuff

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In the long run we're all dead...moot point.

Dumping or being dumped by a 22 year old hottie when you know she's at the peak of her SMV and can secure another high value man sucks and this post won't help with that at all. Just laying down some truths.
Take solice in the fact that she couldn't really do nothing for you besides sex, and cheated on you. So it can be his problem now. Women are good for more than sex... The right women I should say. A 22 year old barely knows her left from her right and still lives in an imaginary dreamworld.
 

BrainDamage92

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Hmm... 2 things heal the heart - time and distance. And no talking to her in any form. Different people take different time to heal. I went through this when I dumped the girl I lived with for three years. She was my age. Classic crazy. It gave me alot of insight. It even brought me to this place which helped me alot. I realised I was a fukin wuss to buy into her psycho manipulations. And it was my fault I was the dumb one not her. I stopped even thinking about her around... a year ago? When was it? It seems like it was another life to me. But I came out 50x times stronger.

Now youve been through the heaviest thing - she was eight years older, with two kids, and crazy. Lemme guess, she has serious issues with her mother and your a codependant mama's boy. You are used to the psycho babble and you like it. Maybe go see a shrink or even better, date a psychologist chick and get it for free :D

Idk when the pain will go away but when it does you will be a fukin machine man. What doesnt kill you makes you bonkers or whateva. You will be a fukin terminator.

Meanwhile, get some *****, and yeah, complete NC
 
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Julian

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nothing will make u feel better besides the love from a new girl and time and distance..i just went thru a month of pure hell. the loneliness..the anxiety and panic and anger. yeah was a fked up breakup. my last breakup before with a girl who wasnt crazy was not nearly as bad, even tho i was with that girl over twice as long...

it really sucks..but damn bluealpha1...my bpd chick ex is a good looking 22 year old, no kids. you should have known better then to love an commit to a 29 year old with all that baggage. maybe i should have known better as a late 20s guy then to love an commit to a unstable 20 year old lol. oh well live an learn...i can say im not out of the woods yet...ive cut all strings but somehow her tentacles are still reaching for me to bring me to her depths of darkness and misery under the false charade of love and caring. fk that
 
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