Says "I just need a little time to myself"...HELP?

[Glassguy]

I've been talking to a very cool chick the past 2 months. Still taking to others here and there but spent most of my time dating with this one. At one point we were seeing each other 3 or so times a week and she started asking questions about if I wanted kids, etc. I pulled back a bit because it did freak me out a little (I'm 39 she is 29). Both of us have one kid each.

Everything was going great until she went on vacation with her entire family a week and a half ago. While there, she rarely texted me and our convos were really short. I figured she was just busy with everyone around. So she gets back home on Friday and has made no effort to see me. Invited me over yesterday to later say "you can still come over if you want but it probably won't be much fun". So I went out with friends instead. She said today would be better since neither of us had our kids. Had a weird conversation last night with her saying she was confused about the situation because she really didn't know where she stood with me. She brought up how she would dish out compliments and I would thank her for them but would be a little cold and standoff ish. I just don't throw myself out there after several failed relationships. She even responded to a text yesterday saying "Is that your way of saying it's over?" and I replied "odds like to keep seeing you if you figure out what you want". She then says "I feel like it I would just see you everything would be back to normal".

I asked her today if she still wanted to get together. Her response was "I think I need a little time to myself.
Should I even respond?
Should I say " yeah that's probably best for both of us right now".

Any ideas?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yeah I wouldn't even respond or maybe even an OK. She doesn't sound like a very cool chick to me. Kid talk after 2mo, ugh doesn't surprise me. A most recent plate asked me the same. I said NOPE not for me.

She doesn't sound enthusiastic at all about seeing you at this point. You might as well starting talking to new prospects. There's a shvt test in there some were. Try to remember moving forward to not ASK if they want to see you. Take charge you are the man, make plans or set dates.

3x a week is excessive for me, but that's just my opinion. I rarely hangout with new chicks in consecutive days, not until atleast after the 90-120 day mark if they make it that far.

She's a single mommy with the wall come up real fast too so there's that.

 

[JJRocker]

Brother she was probably talking with family about you, or seeing some one else... Either way tell her take all the time she needs and leave it at that. If she starts missing you she will come back. If not she won't. Its her loss.

 

[Glassguy]

I can't find the sh!t test in there but there may be one.

I simply responded to her "I need a little time by myself" with "you're right that's probably best for both of us. I wish you the best".

I won't initiate any more contact. Its just weird that she was eating out of my hand for 2 months, brings up the kid thing 2 weeks ago, now she is acting completely different. Move on I guess and learn from the mistake. Today's dating scene is tough sometimes lol.

 

[JJRocker]

There is a ten year age difference there and she was with family... Honey I only want what's best for you. Like aunt Margret with three divorces has any room to talk. Let her go if she comes back great if not you have some good memories.

 

[LiveYourDream]

She's was/is super into you. She's been open about it. In order to protect yourself you have chosen to be aloof with her. As her caring for you has grown deeper, she has looked to see that you feel the same. She only sees your aloofness. She believes there is more to what you feel for her, or at least was hoping there was. She couldn't find it. She wanted to know you would miss her while she was gone. You were aloof. You two spoke briefly while she was gone but never really connected. She really wanted to know (was hoping) you had missed her and were anxious to see her when she returned, just as she had missed you and was anxious to see you. You were aloof. That response deflated her and all her enthusiasm to see you. Her feelings and caring for you, felt unreciprocated to her. She likes/liked you a lot! She also wants/needs to be with a man who desires her and is affectionate with her. Aloofness does not convey that.

Women need to matter to the man they choose to be with. She returns from a trip away and you come across as indifferent to her return. She reaches out, the best she can, looking for reassurance that you care about her. When she doesn't get it, she's left believing you don't really care for her as she had hoped. To her this signals, that she's invested herself in a guy who "just isn't that into her." Even though it hurts, she considers she'd better step back, take some time, and reevaluate. She was still desperately hoping that you cared beyond the impression of being aloof. She wanted to know and be reassured that you were into her, more than your aloof presentation gave off. Your response? You too could use some time and you wish her luck. That wasn't just aloof, that was in your face dismissive. You conveyed you don't give a sh!t about her at all. She's a bother and if you never talk to her again that would be fine. That's what your words conveyed to her whether you intended to or not.

Now you are here at SS wondering what happened. She's in her world wondering the same thing. She was soooo into this man. The only conclusion that will make sense to her is, "he just wasn't that into her." Her friends will say the same thing. They have nothing else to suggest otherwise. Meanwhile, underneath it all, you two could have been a really good match. Great potential lost to miscommunication and misunderstanding. So disappointing, even to read about. I sooo wish men and women could better understand what the other sex really wants/needs, is trying to say.

TL;DR bold above

 

[JJRocker]

She's was/is super into you. She's been open about it. In order to protect yourself you have chosen to be aloof with her. As her caring for you has grown deeper, she has looked to see that you feel the same. She only sees your aloofness. She believes there is more to what you feel for her, or at least was hoping there was. She couldn't find it. She wanted to know you would miss her while she was gone. You were aloof. You two spoke briefly while she was gone but never really connected. She really wanted to know (was hoping) you had missed her and were anxious to see her when she returned, just as she had missed you and was anxious to see you. You were aloof. That response deflated her and all her enthusiasm to see you. Her feelings and caring for you, felt unreciprocated to her. She likes/liked you a lot! She also wants/needs to be with a man who desires her and is affectionate with her. Aloofness does not convey that.

Women need to matter to the man they choose to be with. She returns from a trip away and you come across as indifferent to her return. She reaches out, the best she can, looking for reassurance that you care about her. When she doesn't get it, she's left believing you don't really care for her as she had hoped. To her this signals, that she's invested herself in a guy who "just isn't that into her." Even though it hurts, she considers she'd better step back, take some time, and reevaluate. She was still desperately hoping that you cared beyond the impression of being aloof. She wanted to know and be reassured that you were into her, more than your aloof presentation gave off. Your response? You too could use some time and you wish her luck. That wasn't just aloof, that was in your face dismissive. You conveyed you don't give a sh!t about her at all. She's a bother and if you never talk to her again that would be fine. That's what your words conveyed to her whether you intended to or not.

Now you are here at SS wondering what happened. She's in her world wondering the same thing. She was soooo into this man. The only conclusion that will make sense to her is, "he just wasn't that into her." Her friends will say the same thing. They have nothing else to suggest otherwise. Meanwhile, underneath it all, you two could have been a really good match. Great potential lost to miscommunication and misunderstanding. So disappointing, even to read about. I sooo wish men and women could better understand what the other sex really wants/needs, is trying to say.

TL;DR bold above

she seemed to be into him before the week away. That's where it becomes fuzzy. Having your input Here is extremely valuable! I for one appreciate it!
Maybe the thing to do here would be to show a little honesty and say things felt weird after you got back, I knew you were with family and didnt want to be in the way... See where I'm going with this? What are your thoughts?

 

[yuppaz]

She's was/is super into you. She's been open about it. In order to protect yourself you have chosen to be aloof with her. As her caring for you has grown deeper, she has looked to see that you feel the same. She only sees your aloofness. She believes there is more to what you feel for her, or at least was hoping there was. She couldn't find it. She wanted to know you would miss her while she was gone. You were aloof. You two spoke briefly while she was gone but never really connected. She really wanted to know (was hoping) you had missed her and were anxious to see her when she returned, just as she had missed you and was anxious to see you. You were aloof. That response deflated her and all her enthusiasm to see you. Her feelings and caring for you, felt unreciprocated to her. She likes/liked you a lot! She also wants/needs to be with a man who desires her and is affectionate with her. Aloofness does not convey that.

Women need to matter to the man they choose to be with. She returns from a trip away and you come across as indifferent to her return. She reaches out, the best she can, looking for reassurance that you care about her. When she doesn't get it, she's left believing you don't really care for her as she had hoped. To her this signals, that she's invested herself in a guy who "just isn't that into her." Even though it hurts, she considers she'd better step back, take some time, and reevaluate. She was still desperately hoping that you cared beyond the impression of being aloof. She wanted to know and be reassured that you were into her, more than your aloof presentation gave off. Your response? You too could use some time and you wish her luck. That wasn't just aloof, that was in your face dismissive. You conveyed you don't give a sh!t about her at all. She's a bother and if you never talk to her again that would be fine. That's what your words conveyed to her whether you intended to or not.

Now you are here at SS wondering what happened. She's in her world wondering the same thing. She was soooo into this man. The only conclusion that will make sense to her is, "he just wasn't that into her." Her friends will say the same thing. They have nothing else to suggest otherwise. Meanwhile, underneath it all, you two could have been a really good match. Great potential lost to miscommunication and misunderstanding. So disappointing, even to read about. I sooo wish men and women could better understand what the other sex really wants/needs, is trying to say.

TL;DR bold above

Completely nailed it.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree. I should have communicated much better with her.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I agree. I should have communicated much better with her.

Please know my intent wasn't to judge you on what you said or didn't. My intent was simply to offer you insight into the female perspective/experience.

My sense is you like/d her but maybe aren't truly ready for more than casual dating? While she may be ready to commit and be exclusive and express caring, it sounds like you are still raw from past hurts and not there yet or maybe it's not part of your long term intention with women regardless. Whatever it is, it's ok. Just be honest with yourself. Honor what is true for you. I suspect the way today played out with her could amplify or maybe even justify to you, your feeling guarded with women. At the same time, with greater understanding now, part of you may still want to actually risk more of yourself and see what else is possible with her?

I think you still have potential with her. From my perspective, it's going to take you really stepping into the game, if you want to make it happen. Half in, half out, or NC and more of the same, isn't going turn this relationship around, imho. It's a risk. She may be worth it, she might not, or you might not be ready for more, no matter what.

Should you decide to look to turn things around with her, I think the longer you wait, the more the odds diminish, in this scenario. How you attempt to do it will also determine it's effectiveness. I think odds are best to move past this hiccup and the hurt she's felt, if you reveal reflection, insight and change, as anything less will not offer the momentum for her to see new possibility with you. (Disclaimer, that's the perspective of a woman, and for this situation in particular.)

 

[Glassguy]

Thanks for the woman perspective LiveYourDream.

I did text her back last night to let her know that I think we have a lot of potential, I did miss her when she was away and I was looking forward to seeing her when she got back 4 days ago. I told her that if she needed some time to take it and if she wanted to move forward with me I would very much like that.

She responded with : I really like you. I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I get in my head and push people away for the wrong reasons. Maybe I'm afraid of wasting someone else's time and mine. I miss you. I don't want to play games.

I responded with: I'd like to get back to having fun and having a relationship with you. I miss you too and I think we have a lot of potential. I'd love for you to give me a chance to make it up to you.

It was late at that point and all I got back was a "Goodnight" with a heart emoji.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Thanks for the woman perspective LiveYourDream.

I did text her back last night to let her know that I think we have a lot of potential, I did miss her when she was away and I was looking forward to seeing her when she got back 4 days ago. I told her that if she needed some time to take it and if she wanted to move forward with me I would very much like that.

She responded with : I really like you. I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I get in my head and push people away for the wrong reasons. Maybe I'm afraid of wasting someone else's time and mine. I miss you. I don't want to play games.

I responded with: I'd like to get back to having fun and having a relationship with you. I miss you too and I think we have a lot of potential. I'd love for you to give me a chance to make it up to you.

It was late at that point and all I got back was a "Goodnight" with a heart emoji.

@Glassguy, What do you want with her right now, moving forward, and ultimately with her, if she were the right woman? What do you want from being with her?

 

[dude99]

I've been talking to a very cool chick the past 2 months. Still taking to others here and there but spent most of my time dating with this one. At one point we were seeing each other 3 or so times a week and she started asking questions about if I wanted kids, etc. I pulled back a bit because it did freak me out a little (I'm 39 she is 29). Both of us have one kid each.

Everything was going great until she went on vacation with her entire family a week and a half ago. While there, she rarely texted me and our convos were really short. I figured she was just busy with everyone around. So she gets back home on Friday and has made no effort to see me. Invited me over yesterday to later say "you can still come over if you want but it probably won't be much fun". So I went out with friends instead. She said today would be better since neither of us had our kids. Had a weird conversation last night with her saying she was confused about the situation because she really didn't know where she stood with me. She brought up how she would dish out compliments and I would thank her for them but would be a little cold and standoff ish. I just don't throw myself out there after several failed relationships. She even responded to a text yesterday saying "Is that your way of saying it's over?" and I replied "odds like to keep seeing you if you figure out what you want". She then says "I feel like it I would just see you everything would be back to normal".

I asked her today if she still wanted to get together. Her response was "I think I need a little time to myself.
Should I even respond?
Should I say " yeah that's probably best for both of us right now".

Any ideas?

Tell her.

"Take all the time to yourself you need. Goodbye."

Then go Nc and go meet other women

 

[LiveYourDream]

Thanks for the woman perspective LiveYourDream.

I did text her back last night to let her know that I think we have a lot of potential, I did miss her when she was away and I was looking forward to seeing her when she got back 4 days ago. I told her that if she needed some time to take it and if she wanted to move forward with me I would very much like that.

She responded with : I really like you. I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I get in my head and push people away for the wrong reasons. Maybe I'm afraid of wasting someone else's time and mine. I miss you. I don't want to play games.

I responded with: I'd like to get back to having fun and having a relationship with you. I miss you too and I think we have a lot of potential. I'd love for you to give me a chance to make it up to you.

It was late at that point and all I got back was a "Goodnight" with a heart emoji.

If you are seeking to explore a LTR...

Relative to what I shared earlier, your response timing and languaging could not have been better, imho! You re-opened the door that she felt was was slammed shut on her. It was a tough door to open. Her response shows she's reconsidering. You have to realize she feels literally hurt and beat up. She's not sure what she's going to get if she tries again with you. She feels scared. She's not sure if she should risk it. Are you really a caring and affectionate man or are you just going to game her along knowing she needs that, she's wary. (Do NOT acknowledge, unless she says it, but be aware this is a huge worry of hers.) She genuinely and deeply likes you!!! She wants something deeper with you and isn't sure if you are the kind of man that could meet her there and would WANT to on your own!! She wants a man who wants her so she feels valued and appreciated and special to you, just as you are special to her! (Do use that awareness to pedestalize!!! Use it to understand that women need affection too. To be in a deeper relationship, it's a female need that must be managed with care. It's like asking a man to live without sex. It is a need that must be met or one will move on.)

What comes next? She needs to be the one that walks through the door toward you now. Hang tight!! She will percolate. She will reach out. Do not take her time away personally! When she reaches out, express your enthusiasm to hear from her and ask when can you see her! See her the same day, the next day, or the day after at the very latest. Ride the momentum of her reaching out. If you wait too long it's amplifying what happened before that you didn't and still don't REALLY miss her. (Disclaimer to other men--this advice is particular for this situation.)

Be really mindful of what you set up for your first interaction. Be connected and attentive with her. She will be raw even if it doesn't look like it on the outside. She will NEED tenderness from you. The first time or second time you see her, set up something that involves fun. Do something new together to break out the old patterns. Create a new memory and a new beginning with her.

When you first see her, no matter where you are, or the context, embrace her in your arms and just hold her longer than you ordinarily would and even longer still. Every second melts away some of what transpired. Hold her with caring and just let all that happened melt away in her. It can literally feel like this to a woman! Don't let go too soon. You are giving her a gift whether you realize it or not. Stick with it a little longer. I get that may make no sense to a man. To THIS woman in THIS situation you are giving to her in a way she will NEVER forget, by doing that. She can't alone get free from the muck. YOU holding her in that loving and caring embrace, second by second by second, melts it away. It really can feel like that to a woman. You hold the power! You let her be free! You become her hero!

You must be incredibly present in yourself and tender and caring in how you hold her. She may even be so moved she starts to cry. Don't freak out. Just keep holding her. She's just releasing. The more she releases, the freer she will be to be with you and the less there will be to "talk about." If she cries remind yourself it's not a bad thing it means you did/are doing awesome. Be very present and realize she is being very vulnerable. Do not let her tears throw you. Just be tender with her. It gives her permission to be deeply real with you. It means she's feeling safe with you. That is in immense compliment!! Know that there will be a transition point that becomes clear. She may move from tears to a smile. She'll feel a 1000x better. It will make no sense to you perhaps. That's ok. Give her a light kiss. Keep some physical touch, holding her hand often through the date or touching her here and there (different from sexual kino) it will reassure her and keep melting away the old. Move from tender to connected and lighthearted to having fun.

Do not over do ****y and funny or sexualizing her when you are together for the first time, unless she escalates you there. Otherwise she will interpret that you don't really value HER but that you like the idea of her. She'll move on and you won't see her again. If she escalates toward make-up sex, enjoy, but include tenderness and be very present with her. You pump and dump sex her here and you'll never see her again.

TL;DR
Disclaimer to all, this is advice for a particular man and a particular woman and scenario. It's to help heal the hurts of what has transpired so the woman CAN (as in be able to) reengage, and the potential of a deep and meaningful relationship can be explored. He's has the opportunity to invest in the potential he seeks by caring for her along the way. The advice I gave is not SS pump and dump or general at that. It's for glassguy, if he wants more and chooses to invest in the possibility, for himself. To men who want more than pump and dump, there comes a point when how you interact will need to shift in areas according to the quality of relationship you seek. I am NOT advocating a man live as a full on beta! I am advocating that a man who wants more than pump and dump realize just as he NEEDS sex, a woman has needs too. A relationship is most harmonious and successful when those needs are met for one another freely and with caring and great consideration for the other.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Tell her.

"Take all the time to yourself you need. Goodbye."

Then go Nc and go meet other women

That's easy to say at this point in the scenario. There is nothing to do right now! Of course! You are stating the obvious.

How he responds when she finally reaches out, is what determines their potential moving forward. Navigating those waters is more complicated. Anyone can sit back and say next her or go NC. It's the rare man that can navigate a quality woman (not a desperate woman/slvt) back from the other side and into the possibility of a deep meaningful LTR (should HE want to). Pump and dump and NC is one level. There is a level of mastery way beyond that, for men who seek greater depth from their women.

 

[dude99]

That's easy to say at this point in the scenario. There is nothing to do right now! Of course! You are stating the obvious.

How he responds when she finally reaches out, is what determines their potential moving forward. Navigating those waters is more complicated. Anyone can sit back and say next her or go NC. It's the rare man that can navigate a quality woman (not a desperate woman/slvt) back from the other side and into the possibility of a deep meaningful LTR (should HE want to). Pump and dump and NC is one level. There is a level of mastery way beyond that, for men who seek greater depth from their women.

I don't disagree with you but i see this girl who has only known him for 2 months go way too serious way too fast kids etc when they still do not even onow eachother too suddenly needing time away from him to herself.

To me someone who is so up and down so quickly, i wouldn't have the patients for seeing how their relationship is/was only 2 months old.

 

[Glassguy]

@Live- good advice.

Just so you know, I live 45 mintues from her but we both own businesses in the same town. I am 40 minutes from work, she is 10 minutes away.

I sent her an early text this morning....."Good morning! Do you think you cold talk to your boss (which is her) and see if you can slip away for lunch today?"

Her response was: "Good morning I dont think I have a break today after just getting back from vacation, but I will check my book in a few and let you know!

Me: "What time do you work?

Her: 11am.....I had full intentions of going to crossfit this morning and I've hit snooze until now....

Me: For some reason I am not shocked . If today doesnt work you can let me know later when you're not too busy to meet up!

She then text me: "_________ can get you in tomorrow if you can do it! (I am a customer of one of her employees).

Me: What time?


Nothing since. I had the plan of meeting her for lunch, picking her up and giving her a very long hug.

To answer your question, I definitely see potential with her. I am not the type of person to throw myself into something hastily but I definitely dont plan on gaming her to death. I'd just like to get back to fun dating, move forward and if we are compatible on a larger scale so be it.

I have made it clear that I am very much still interested in her and would love to see her to make it up to her. But at some point there is a fine line of letting that be know and chasing. Chasing, the few times in my life that I have done it, never worked out.

I think I need to see if she makes the next move and lets me know when she is free to get together and go from there. If she doesn't, I think soft contact is needed and I should only reciprocate if she reaches out. If she reaches out, and its just chit chat I will tell her that I am interested in a romantic relationship with her but not interested in friendship only (Corey Wayne).

What do you think? I don't mind a woman's perspective and I am mature enough to know that men and women could be great together but they just suck sometimes early on with communication since they don't know enough about each other yet to be able to tell what the other person wants unless they just come out and say it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I don't disagree with you but i see this girl who has only known him for 2 months go way too serious way too fast kids etc when they still do not even onow eachother too suddenly needing time away from him to herself.

To me someone who is so up and down so quickly, i wouldn't have the patients for seeing how their relationship is/was only 2 months old.

@dude99 Other readers and posters likely do not realize I was was responding to more than what @Glassguy posted in this thread alone. I would not at all have suggested what I did based on this thread alone. I can see where my suggestions seem out of proportion, if that was all you had to go on.

He shared a bit more about her active enthusiasm and her interest in him, in this post below. I really felt her interest and his apathy and how they misfired together. I was sharing from what I perceived as a woman from both. I simply saw potential and wanted to offer a way to try with her again if he was interested.

The other post of his is below It offers a bit more of her active interest and disappointment, in my opinion.

It was from this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/never-chase-your-ex.235024/

As you know from my previous posts....I was in a LTR for 3 years and engaged and we broke up 3 months before the wedding. It hurt and I went into NC fast.

Started dating several women and got to the point that I was spending more and more time with this particular one. We have been talking for 2 months and everything was going great....she was hammering me with compliments and really getting comfortable with me. I am very nice to all women, but I am slow to dish out compliments and show a lot of emotion. Long story short, she went on family vacation with her family a week ago. She told me that she really was reluctant in going because she was going to miss me, and I told her to go have fun. Apparently, she wanted me to say that I would miss her too. This became an issue. All week she was texting me, calling me. It became less and less. I started initiating more texts and calls as the vacation week went on and it seemed that every time I called she would be having conversations with people around her within 3-4 minutes of our call which rubbed me the wrong way (my free time is small and important). Each time I rushed off the phone instead of sitting there listening to her talk to everyone around her.

So she gets back 3 days ago and makes little effort to see me. She invited me over yesterday just to sort of push away when I asked her what she wanted to get into. So I didn't go. She brought up the fact of never knowing where she stands with me because I don't always reciprocate the compliments and lovey dovey things she says. I tell her that I don't rush into relationships but that I would like to keep seeing her. She tells me that today would be better to meet up, and I texted her today to ask if she still wants to meet up. She responds with "I think I need a little time by myself". My response was "you're right, that is probably best for both of us. I wish you the best of luck".

One minute this chick is eating out of my hand for 2 months and couldn't be more into me. Next minute she is acting weird and we can't even have a convo without me feeling like its just uncomfortable. Very weird, but I think I handled the situation correctly by agreeing with her and wishing her the best. No more communication will be initiated on my end.

She knows my rhapsody music password and has been using my account for the past month which wasn't a big deal....but now I feel as though I should change the password and possibly remove her from my social media. For my sake not hers. "I need time by myself" has never worked out to benefit me.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[LiveYourDream]

@Live- good advice.

Just so you know, I live 45 mintues from her but we both own businesses in the same town. I am 40 minutes from work, she is 10 minutes away.

I sent her an early text this morning....."Good morning! Do you think you cold talk to your boss (which is her) and see if you can slip away for lunch today?"

Her response was: "Good morning I dont think I have a break today after just getting back from vacation, but I will check my book in a few and let you know!

Me: "What time do you work?

Her: 11am.....I had full intentions of going to crossfit this morning and I've hit snooze until now....

Me: For some reason I am not shocked . If today doesnt work you can let me know later when you're not too busy to meet up!

She then text me: "_________ can get you in tomorrow if you can do it! (I am a customer of one of her employees).

Me: What time?


Nothing since. I had the plan of meeting her for lunch, picking her up and giving her a very long hug.

To answer your question, I definitely see potential with her. I am not the type of person to throw myself into something hastily but I definitely dont plan on gaming her to death. I'd just like to get back to fun dating, move forward and if we are compatible on a larger scale so be it.

I have made it clear that I am very much still interested in her and would love to see her to make it up to her. But at some point there is a fine line of letting that be know and chasing. Chasing, the few times in my life that I have done it, never worked out.

I think I need to see if she makes the next move and lets me know when she is free to get together and go from there. If she doesn't, I think soft contact is needed and I should only reciprocate if she reaches out. If she reaches out, and its just chit chat I will tell her that I am interested in a romantic relationship with her but not interested in friendship only (Corey Wayne).

What do you think? I don't mind a woman's perspective and I am mature enough to know that men and women could be great together but they just suck sometimes early on with communication since they don't know enough about each other yet to be able to tell what the other person wants unless they just come out and say it.

Your reach out this morning was well intended. It's wasn't my favorite approach. The intent in what you communicated is what matters and she got that.

Do not initiate again. Do not pursue. Do not chase. When you do connect, do not ever mention again, making anything up to her. Do not grovel.

You are the man! Be centered. Be strong. Know your value. Have your own life. Do not act as if or let her think you and your life are on hold, waiting for her or her response. You are not. (Don't go out of your way to throw other women in her face, in a conversation right now, either.) Your life moves forward in each moment. You are not living in the past. If she chooses back in, she has a lot to gain. If she doesn't her loss. The window of opportunity is open for the moment. Your life is moving forward with or without her. It can be good either way.

 

[LiveYourDream]

P.S. Reconnecting is a BIG (potentially emotional and vulnerable) deal to her. Being that vulnerable (as needed to reconnect) is not something a woman can easily turn on and turn off and just squeeze in the middle of a work day. Lunch, generally, is not sexy. Set it up when it can be as open ended as needed, for her to feel safe being emotional/vulnerable and so it supports the potential for make up sex at the end, should all lead there. After work would be better, imho (in a place she can express freely.)