Co-habitation agreement to protect assets in even of break up?

[jnMissouri]

If you don't intend to have a family or get married but have a girlfriend or boyfriend that lives with you and makes considerably less than you (1/7) and you have substantial assets, do you use a co-habitation agreement to protect your assets from "common law" marriage or "marriage like" relationships?

Anyone have a template? On the one hand, I feel like I need it to protect myself and what I've worked for in college and career. On the other, I hear these things aren't bullet proof and don't want to even give someone an idea they didn't have before...

According to attorneys I spoke with they said it would take tens of thousands of dollars to even file a suit to get any assets, and since all owned and paid for by me, low risk. Still...I want to make sure I have an air tight plan.


Or maybe it's just time to break up? I'm really wary of girlfriends and although I like our routine for the past five years I do get the itch to date, but at the same time, I like the comfort of someone I already know, etc.

 

[Asmodeus]

Your state is one that has co-habitation laws and common-law marriages like such? They vary form jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

In fact...
"Common-law marriage in the United States can still be contracted in nine states (Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Utah, and Texas) and the District of Columbia."

Edit... Your name indicates "Missouri" if such then that state does not recognize common-law marriage. So therefore some kind of common-law alimony case would not be possible if such.

 

[jnMissouri]

I'm not in Missouri. My state doesn't have common law marriage but it has marriage like relationships. It's essentially the same thing but no alimony can be awarded. Even so, depending on whether the relationship was marriage like or not, the court may divide some assets. The question is, although the attorney told me I'm low risk because assets can only be challenged via a lawsuit that would cost tens of thousands of dollars for her just to open, I thought it might be a good idea to do the cohab agreement. But at the same time, I worry that if I bring it up, she may now have been given an idea she didn't have before. Attorney didn't have much of an opinion on that, just citing that I'm low risk and shouldn't worry be too worried about it.

 

[Asmodeus]

assets can only be challenged via a lawsuit that would cost tens of thousands of dollars for her just to open

Yes, this is correct. She would have to take you to court for it and pay legal fees to do such. It would take a lot of work in getting stock of all the assets and how to divide them meaning it will take a lot of legal work and thus a good bit of time and money. Also you may be able to validly prove that some assets are yours, that you purchased them and you own them and she would be hard pressed to challenge such. You are likely low risk.

If you were married or in a common law state then things would be a lot different.

I think the agreement is not a terrible idea to suggest to her... Why have you not just brought it up to her? Are you afraid you may give her the idea that she can challenge you in court for assets? Sounds like you do not trust this woman too much... If you trust her then why not just talk with her and come to some fair agreement on things.

https://www.ilrg.com/forms/cohab-agreement.html
For the agreement you need a couple witnesses to sign in defense of the contract. Or you can have it signed in the witness of a lawyer. I am not entirely sure just how legally binding these contracts are but a pre-negotiated and agreed contract like this would provide and extremely strong defense if she did seek to take your assets.

 

[jnMissouri]

Yes, this is correct. She would have to take you to court for it and pay legal fees to do such. It would take a lot of work in getting stock of all the assets and how to divide them meaning it will take a lot of legal work and thus a good bit of time and money. Also you may be able to validly prove that some assets are yours, that you purchased them and you own them and she would be hard pressed to challenge such. You are likely low risk.

If you were married or in a common law state then things would be a lot different.

I think the agreement is not a terrible idea to suggest to her... Why have you not just brought it up to her? Are you afraid you may give her the idea that she can challenge you in court for assets? Sounds like you do not trust this woman too much... If you trust her then why not just talk with her and come to some fair agreement on things.

https://www.ilrg.com/forms/cohab-agreement.html
For the agreement you need a couple witnesses to sign in defense of the contract. Or you can have it signed in the witness of a lawyer. I am not entirely sure just how legally binding these contracts are but a pre-negotiated and agreed contract like this would provide and extremely strong defense if she did seek to take your assets.

So funny that you link to that one, it happens to be one I emailed myself months ago and just pulled up today again to look at before I made this post. I do, however, think I'm going to go with one for rocket lawyer because it's state specific.

It's not so much a matter of trust so much as there is a lot at stake and I didn't get to where I am by being a creature of emotion. Trust is subjective, an emotion, no more, no less. Just because you trust someone doesn't mean they won't burn you, and I don't gamble with my money.

 

[Asmodeus]

Just because you trust someone doesn't mean they won't burn you, and I don't gamble with my money.

Well you are right... And perhaps she can be trusted now, but if there is a breakup then what? I have seen many trustworthy and kind women turn hateful and vindictive during a breakup or divorce. So I guess it is best to do this while things are civil between the two of you. Good luck, always best to not take excessive risks and you are making a wise choice.

 

[Tenacity]

So funny that you link to that one, it happens to be one I emailed myself months ago and just pulled up today again to look at before I made this post. I do, however, think I'm going to go with one for rocket lawyer because it's state specific.

It's not so much a matter of trust so much as there is a lot at stake and I didn't get to where I am by being a creature of emotion. Trust is subjective, an emotion, no more, no less. Just because you trust someone doesn't mean they won't burn you, and I don't gamble with my money.

- What state are you in?

- How long have you known this girl?

- Why are you moving in together if she is making 1/7 of the income you are making? Is she paying any of the expenses or living rent free?

- Why do you feel the need to move someone in with you that's not your wife or Fiancée?

 

[Bible_Belt]

According to attorneys I spoke with they said it would take tens of thousands of dollars to even file a suit to get any assets.

Although I agree that you have nothing to worry about, the bold part above is a good example of the typical attorney being a lazy moron who gives sh!tty advice. Filing fees vary by location, but near me, filing a complaint costs about $60, and service of process is about another $80. And that's it - there's your lawsuit. Any semi-literate person can file a lawsuit. Prisoners do it all the time. The idea that it takes thousands of dollars to access the court system is a narcissistic, delusional fantasy shared by most lawyers.

 

[Desdinova]

For the agreement you need a couple witnesses to sign in defense of the contract. Or you can have it signed in the witness of a lawyer. I am not entirely sure just how legally binding these contracts are but a pre-negotiated and agreed contract like this would provide and extremely strong defense if she did seek to take your assets.

This is basically the way I obtained my separation agreement when my marriage ended. She tried to challenge it in the court room and it held up fairly well. My lawyer said it was very well done. The only way she was able to challenge it was with the "fairness" argument because we obtained the house jointly even though it was solely in my name. I was able to get her to waive it by throwing some of my RRSPs her way.

If property is obtained before cohabiting and you've got the paperwork to prove it, I can't see how she would be able to pull the "fairness" card if you worked your ass off to get these assets on your own.

 

[dasein]

You should bite the bullet and talk to a lawyer who -specializes- in domestic law in your jurisdiction. You are asking specific legal questions that no one here, not even lawyers can ethically help you answer, and you should not rely on net scuttlebutt. Also agree with what Bible Belt posted. Educate yourself as well so that you have a basic understanding of any statutory language and conventions in your jurisdiction. Good luck in getting this issue handled to your satisfaction.