I Dont recommend online dating sites for average/normal looking guys

[marmel75]

I've come to the conclusion that looking muscular with your clothes on by the way they fit you and your body shape is far more important than a six pack. I've had a six pack, I've been power lifter fat, I've been everywhere in between.

Bottom line is, if you put work in the gym, it will show, and it won't matter much if you have a six pack or not. No woman is going to get naked with you and then be like I can't Fvck you because you don't have a six pack.

 

[RangerMIke]

Never done OLD... I wouldn't know how. I do well without it. I meet women just about everywhere, yoga classes, bike races, just about anything. The key is go do stuff you like where women are going to be around. If there is a style of music you like, music festivals are great. The key is to go to places where you have some commonality, makes it easy to approach.

Be the best you can be....
Go do stuff...
Approach women....

 

[marmel75]

Never done OLD... I wouldn't know how. I do well without it. I meet women just about everywhere, yoga classes, bike races, just about anything. The key is go do stuff you like where women are going to be around. If there is a style of music you like, music festivals are great. The key is to go to places where you have some commonality, makes it easy to approach.

Be the best you can be....
Go do stuff...
Approach women....

It's like shooting and fvcking fish in a barrel, lol...

Easiest way to get your lay count up there is

 

[Slash Dolo]

I do not even use dating sites... I am not a bad looking guy by most women who would rate me. Maybe not that "9" you posted, but still handsome enough to at least be able to at least hit most women's minimum specifications. Even then dating sites were far less easy to work with than in real life... You have to send a large amount of messages and you completely miss out on that personal interaction. You just become a picture and a few words of text...

Working on your looks is not too easy... Certainly you can change up your style, get fit. But there is always a limit to that...
However working on your charm and your interpersonal skills seems to have no limit. I have made it a habit to just cold approach women on a DAILY basis. It is like practice to me to learn how to be persuasive and charming. Learning how to break the ice, get a woman to laugh, how to read cues and body language, ect. It also builds your confidence which you Clueless2k16 need to work on... The more you do it the more you realize that it is not that difficult and the more successful you get.

On dating sites I would get rejected or ignored by 80% of the women I would try to send messages to or converse with... In person women rarely completely ignore me. In dating sites I would get a number or a date maybe with only a few of the 20% that actually responded to me... In person, so long as the woman is single I am typically able to get a number or a date at least half the time if not better. Consistency is the key, consistently approaching and talking to women on a daily basis and soon enough it will take you minutes to scour through your telephone contacts list to find a name...

Expand your social circles too... I do not mean you need to go to the bar with a bunch of friends. But get to know people in the bar/club/ect and do not sit back holding the wall, for instance I always get to know the bartender and talk with them if they are not too busy. Meet a few people mingle, talk, and do it consistently. I walk into the local bars and despite going alone I have a half dozen people saying hello to me as I walk in and the bartender already has my beer of choice ready for me before I sit down. This creates a kind of social status when girls see that you know a lot of people and they know you. If you are in Costal Virgnia Clueless2k16 then I can wingman with you... Mostly to push you to approach women and do those things which you are afraid to do and so you can perhaps pick up a thing or two (I don't typically utilize a wingman because I am mostly fearless with women).

Asmodeus, we look pretty similar judging from your profile picture. I can safely say don't fret, I have trouble on Tinder too, but rarely have an issue in real life interactions. I can meet up with a few girls but it's so much effort. The problem stems from women having NOTHING to go on online except for looks, so that's all they go on, and there's always something more desirable a swipe away. I'm sure if we worked out and dieted like a fitness model we'd have more success, but is it really worth it just to get more chicks to like us online? Probably not. I know my game is good, so I just try to stick to real life interactions.

Also don't downplay the serial killer vibe. I get the same thing. Chicks love it. If anything, embrace it. I mean don't actually kill people, but you know.

 

[marmel75]

I do not even use dating sites... I am not a bad looking guy by most women who would rate me. Maybe not that "9" you posted, but still handsome enough to at least be able to at least hit most women's minimum specifications. Even then dating sites were far less easy to work with than in real life... You have to send a large amount of messages and you completely miss out on that personal interaction. You just become a picture and a few words of text...

Working on your looks is not too easy... Certainly you can change up your style, get fit. But there is always a limit to that...
However working on your charm and your interpersonal skills seems to have no limit. I have made it a habit to just cold approach women on a DAILY basis. It is like practice to me to learn how to be persuasive and charming. Learning how to break the ice, get a woman to laugh, how to read cues and body language, ect. It also builds your confidence which you Clueless2k16 need to work on... The more you do it the more you realize that it is not that difficult and the more successful you get.

On dating sites I would get rejected or ignored by 80% of the women I would try to send messages to or converse with... In person women rarely completely ignore me. In dating sites I would get a number or a date maybe with only a few of the 20% that actually responded to me... In person, so long as the woman is single I am typically able to get a number or a date at least half the time if not better. Consistency is the key, consistently approaching and talking to women on a daily basis and soon enough it will take you minutes to scour through your telephone contacts list to find a name...

Expand your social circles too... I do not mean you need to go to the bar with a bunch of friends. But get to know people in the bar/club/ect and do not sit back holding the wall, for instance I always get to know the bartender and talk with them if they are not too busy. Meet a few people mingle, talk, and do it consistently. I walk into the local bars and despite going alone I have a half dozen people saying hello to me as I walk in and the bartender already has my beer of choice ready for me before I sit down. This creates a kind of social status when girls see that you know a lot of people and they know you. If you are in Costal Virgnia Clueless2k16 then I can wingman with you... Mostly to push you to approach women and do those things which you are afraid to do and so you can perhaps pick up a thing or two (I don't typically utilize a wingman because I am mostly fearless with women).

You never waste time on OLD. You get them out within a few messages...he who messages most loses.

 

[casanova_goat]

I once bantered back and forth with this one chick on OkCupid. She seemed engaged in our conversation and accepted my offer to take her out. Then she came at me with this lengthy message:

“Can you put up a better picture of yourself? I'm sure that sounds shallow, and maybe it is, but I've been talking to you for this long without really knowing what you look like, so I don't think i'm being too awful. Also, I need to know there's a possibility that I'll be attracted to you in real life, and right now I'm just worried I'll meet you and be a b1tch because you look completely different than I thought you did, and I don't particularly like being a b1tch, especially to guys who entertain me as well as you do.”


I found her request confounding since I had 5 or 6 photos up at the time which clearly showed what I looked like. More clearly than did her pictures, I should add.

I find it funny she was worried about being a "b1tch" yet would have rejected me had I put up (what to her) was an unappealing picture. She was merely seeking a more convenient way of rejecting me: online vs. date

I think I emphasized to her that, while a person could look good in pictures, he or she may have off-putting mannerisms (or the like) in person. One can't predict these things. Instead we should just treat this as a casual first date without expectations of more.

I never did hear back from her.

 

[ubercat]

Exactly what Marmel75 said. Uplay message ping pong you lose. Anyway don't sweat it. This chick was probably a huge hog with fake pictures getting off on messaging guys whIle sitting on a couch with a sack of Cheetos

 

[marmel75]

I once bantered back and forth with this one chick on OkCupid. She seemed engaged in our conversation and accepted my offer to take her out. Then she came at me with this lengthy message:

“Can you put up a better picture of yourself? I'm sure that sounds shallow, and maybe it is, but I've been talking to you for this long without really knowing what you look like, so I don't think i'm being too awful. Also, I need to know there's a possibility that I'll be attracted to you in real life, and right now I'm just worried I'll meet you and be a b1tch because you look completely different than I thought you did, and I don't particularly like being a b1tch, especially to guys who entertain me as well as you do.”


I found her request confounding since I had 5 or 6 photos up at the time which clearly showed what I looked like. More clearly than did her pictures, I should add.

I find it funny she was worried about being a "b1tch" yet would have rejected me had I put up (what to her) was an unappealing picture. She was merely seeking a more convenient way of rejecting me: online vs. date

I think I emphasized to her that, while a person could look good in pictures, he or she may have off-putting mannerisms (or the like) in person. One can't predict these things. Instead we should just treat this as a casual first date without expectations of more.

I never did hear back from her.

Without fail when a woman asks you for more pictures when you already have several up its because you are "competing" with a guy or multiple guys or she is trying to find one where you don't look as good so she can decide not to meet. I never played into that, and I'd say those are the pics I have up, you can decide to meet or not. Half the time they would meet the other half they'd get defensive about it. I'm not playing any games with these chicks, if they want to meet someone who looks great in pictures and then bombs within the first 5 minutes in person they can have at him. Then they can sit there and keep looking at their phone to see how much time has passed and how soon they can get out of there while I'm killing it in person with someone else...

Then they wonder why they are single complaining about how terrible the guys they date are.

 

[Yewki]

"I don't particularly like being a b1tch, especially to guys who entertain me as well as you do."

10/10 word choice on her part, if she sent this to me I would have stopped "entertaining" her

 

[casanova_goat]

I did stop "entertaining" her. I refused to put up more pictures and never heard back from her.

I consider myself a superficial person but this chick took superficiality to another level. Even if I had a sneaking suspicion some chick looked like a troll, once I had committed to a date, I would have gone through with it. It's just a date not a prison sentence. You don't fancy the person, you needn't see them again.

 

[guru1000]

Really I look like one... I have heard that my eyes look void and that I have a blinkless stare that is always focused on a person. Hmmm... I need to work on getting more natural facial expressions and to tense the muscles around my cheeks and eyes a bit more in response to social verbal and nonverbal cues... Do not know what to do about the stare... I guess I will randomly divert my eyes to another object when in conversations...

Thank you, finding things I need to fix and work on helps me out. Blend in right...

Asmodeus, you look fine, strong jawline. No need to mold yourself into something you are not. I look the same: dangerous. Play up the bad-boy mystique by amplifying what you already have.

Girl: You look dangerous. Have you ever killed anybody?
Asmodeus: Me? Noo. At least not lately

Girl: What do you do for a living?
Asmodeus: I kill people. What about you? <To girls under 30>

Girl: I don't know about you.
Asmodeus: Smart girl

Girl: Do you have a gf?
Asmodeus: A few.

At first sight, I'm often confused as an Italian gangster. Utilize and amplify your gift.

 

[guru1000]

yes im serious,i looked like the third pic, i started to get a skeleton look on my face which was very unhealthy because as i said i dont look good with less fat on my face. Espi i understand you are one the experts in the Health&Fitness part of the forum, have you seen this happening to guys you know @ the gym (the gaunt face look) and what do you recommend? Not going below 14/16 & bf?

thanks

I doubt you look like Skeletor at 10% bf. But as you age, you will lose bone and fat depositories in your face. A couple cc's of Scupltra will volumize any accelerated fat-loss regions in your cheek/temple region. Sculptra catalyzes natural collagen which provides temporal volume up to two years. But your lack of success with women has nothing to do with facial fat loss; it's entirely inner-game related.

You keep asking questions, when you already know the answer.

 

[marmel75]

I doubt you look like Skeletor at 10% bf. But as you age, you will lose bone and fat depositories in your face. A couple cc's of Scupltra will volumize any accelerated fat-loss regions in your cheek/temple region. Sculptra catalyzes natural collagen which provides temporal volume up to two years. But your lack of success with women has nothing to do with facial fat loss; it's entirely inner-game related.

You keep asking questions, when you already know the answer.

Easier to find something else to blame than to face the music and the truth by looking in the mirror...figuratively.

Apparently all he does is LITERALLY look in the mirror because he comes up with some of the craziest bullsh!t and terminology I've ever read about how he looks, which, BTW, for the 100th time is 99.5% nonsense.

 

[bigneil]

The problem with online dating is that women will primarily go by your age.

At age 45, in real life I have no problem attracting girls in their 20's. In fact, I know about four girls who are 18 and who adore me. But it's literally impossible to do that online. Anything over a 5 year age difference and you'll be filtered out. Also, you can't have a strong reputation and you can't use body language or size to your advantage. I'm the type of person who is magnanimous, so people notice me when I walk in a room. How do you recreate that online?

So online dating is mainly for younger, prettier, weaker men IMO, and half the guys girls choose online over me would never stand a chance against me if we were standing side by side.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The problem with online dating is that women will primarily go by your age.

At age 45, in real life I have no problem attracting girls in their 20's. In fact, I know about four girls who are 18 and who adore me. But it's literally impossible to do that online. Anything over a 5 year age difference and you'll be filtered out. Also, you can't have a strong reputation and you can't use body language or size to your advantage. I'm the type of person who is magnanimous, so people notice me when I walk in a room. How do you recreate that online?

So online dating is mainly for younger, prettier, weaker men IMO, and half the guys girls choose online over me would never stand a chance against me if we were standing side by side.

Well you nailed it, a lot of the filter is by age. Some of the onliners will not care about age or prefer an older guy, so having a great physical image is what sets you apart.

 

[unknowncitizen]

One thing I haven't seen mentioned is location. I travel a lot for work so I'm able to see just how wildly success rates change as you move from place to place. So, for me, my primary location is NYC and I have no shortage of matches coming in every day when I'm there (as an average looking guy). There are so many different kinds of people your chances are pretty great. The worst places to use Tinder are either on or near an elite university campus or in a particularly affluent area that isn't a major metropolitan/capital of the city. At first this can be baffling to go from 20 matches a day to 1 or none but it happens and that's when, though it's much better in general imo, you should give it up and just cold approach.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I'm a black male and I've managed to bag 3 gfs off of tinder and one night stands. I have more success than most of my white friends which is shocking to me.

 

[dustmuffin]

Just set up another date

Me: Heyxxxxx What's up? Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you. We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks. What does your schedule look like this week? dustmuffin

Her: Meeting for a drink sounds like a great idea to me. What's the point of texting and talking if there's no in person chemistry or physical attraction. I'm free on Wednesday or Thursday this week.

Keep trying guys I spent five minutes sending messages to 5 girls. I got two replies so far. This one and one that wants a chat buddy. I won't be chatting with her although she is very attractive. At this point I go with no date no chat. I'm kind of in a mood.

 

[marmel75]

For me it's much simpler: meeting chicks is all about the numbers game. This pertains to bars, grocery stores, and online dating sites. Location really doesn't seem to be a significant factor.

I think it takes a lot of digging to get to the gold. 10% email response has been a pretty consistent ratio for me throughout the years, regardless of the website or where they're located or the type of email I "open" with.

Of the 10% who respond, usually 1 in 3 will accept my drinkdate invite; and of those that meet me for drinks, 1 in 3 will sleep with me.

Well, your method while cutting to the chaste is hurting your success rate...with a few tweaks you'd probably get that rate up quite a bit, but if it works for you then keep at it

 

[casanova_goat]

Well, your method while cutting to the chaste is hurting your success rate...with a few tweaks you'd probably get that rate up quite a bit, but if it works for you then keep at it

In my opinion, those numbers are pretty darn good lol.

I am like (at best) 5% in real life and I never got one "true" date from online dating. I predominately used OkCupid and Tinder.