Where do you sit when you fix those insecurities and she comes back wanting to "try things again"?
You don't. Anytime a girl leaves you for any length of time, your SMV's increased and hers has decreased. Literally no reason to get back with her other than emotional baggage (i.e. you didn't resolve the issues that bound you to her the first time around). Only exception I'd make is that if you broke up with her (for reasons unrelated to her level of respect for you) or did something that sent her into full-on autorejection (acted like a jackass). Basically, if you were alpha all the way through
then I'd consider getting back together if she was 100% exceptional (and still well under 25)--just part of the emotional rollercoaster (for her--not you).
I can't speak for the op because I didn't write this thread but you might be taken this a bit too literally.
I personally think op should've worded his title and post better though.
Probably. Just a thought experiment--but it's a mindset I've been testing out. Most of us live in a scarcity of love--and our love of other people is highly conditional and probably codependent. So when we meet a girl who has X, Y, and Z characteristics (or portrays those characteristics convincingly) to the extent that we feel 'love' for her, she becomes the only object through which to experience the love of the feminine and we value her more because we valued her in the first place. Does that make sense? Or you choose not to love at all--and you suppress that aspect of your personality and cut and run at the first tinge of 'losing frame.'
But what keeps us from loving and respecting women on a macro level? Fear. Judgement. The misguided expectation that they're supposed to act and think like men and to live by codes of honor, loyalty, reciprocation, etc., which were created
by men
for men. Women only live by those codes to the extent that they've been conditioned by a strong masculine presence and face social repercussions for being found not to live up to those standards. They're reactive to their environment--if you think we need to hold them accountable well...you were sold a lie about what a woman was in the first place.
But love is awesome. Imagine a world where nothing a woman could do could hurt you or upset your peace of mind (which is the end game of inner game). Why not love? And by love, I don't mean commitment; I don't mean giving away your time and attention; I mean a feeling of good will, full acceptance, and even appreciation. You can give those things unconditionally, at no personal cost--and women will tell you all sorts of sh1t when they can tell you 100% 'get them,' as they are, without fear of judgement. Probably the quickest & most accurate way to screen for mileage.
@Poon King Expectations=/=Standards. Standards are what you will/won't put up with; expectation is the default belief that people will/should adhere to those standards (hint--they usually won't, which can result in unnecessary frustration, anger, disappointment, pain, resentment). I let people show me who they are and bring them into my life or push them out of my life accordingly; I expect nothing--still love them, but at that point it's practical measure.
