Red flags

[Aesthetix29]

Okay so I've been dating this girl 3 dates so far .. All seems to be going okay, we arranged to do something tomorrow the other day .. So this morning I messaged her asking if we're still on for tomorrow ... And she said that she can't now due to starting a new bar shift as manager .. At such a pub .. So I was like okay no probs ... And then she messaged me back again straight after .. Saying its at such a pub and that I'm free to pop down ... Now I'm willing to call in .. But what's got on my nerves is that we planned something and she made new plans and didn't let me know .. Disrespectful. Am I over thinking this ?

 

[Tictac]

Okay so I've been dating this girl 3 dates so far .. All seems to be going okay, we arranged to do something tomorrow the other day .. So this morning I messaged her asking if we're still on for tomorrow ... And she said that she can't now due to starting a new bar shift as manager .. At such a pub .. So I was like okay no probs ... And then she messaged me back again straight after .. Saying its at such a pub and that I'm free to pop down ... Now I'm willing to call in .. But what's got on my nerves is that we planned something and she made new plans and didn't let me know .. Disrespectful. Am I over thinking this ?

Work is not new plans.

It's work.

 

[Aesthetix29]

Work is not new plans.

It's work.

Okay either way she still didn't let me know .. If it was me I would of let her know that I have to work.

 

[ZTIME]

You're over thinking it, and don't stop by the pub.

 

[Tictac]

Okay either way she still didn't let me know .. If it was me I would of let her know that I have to work.

She's not on your schedule after 3 dates. You had more than a day left.

 

[Aesthetix29]

You're over thinking it, and don't stop by the pub.

Okay why not? Does it make me look to keen ?

 

[ZTIME]

Okay why not? Does it make me look to keen ?

A man who has real things going on in his life does not depend on women. By not showing up you'll :

1. Look less needy
2. Look like you have things going on in your life.
3. She'll be wondering what you're doing.

By stopping by the bar, you'll experience the exact opposite.

Go out and have fun and show her you have other options in life.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

A man who has real things going on in his life does not depend on women. By not showing up you'll :

1. Look less needy
2. Look like you have things going on in your life.
3. She'll be wondering what you're doing.

By stopping by the bar, you'll experience the exact opposite.

Go out and have fun and show her you have other options in life.

I told a girl at work I was going to visit her and ended up didn't and it ***** her off lol.

 

[Yewki]

Don't text a girl asking if a date is still on for the next day, not a good look

If she actually wanted to see you, she would have given a specific counter. What she did instead was give you a cheap consolation prize, probably to avoid hurting your feelings. Who knows though, she may come around. In the meantime you should act as a man who values his time and pursue better options

 

[grayclif]

I don't see how you can find this disrespectful. Maybe absentminded but not disrespectful.

I'm wondering how the first three dates went. Did you kino, kiss, get sexual??? If not then you may be experiencing low interest on her part.

You're just not on her mind especially if she works in a highly paced bar environment.

 

[bigneil]

Don't text a girl asking if a date is still on for the next day, not a good look

Yes, you never send a date reminder. Force her to initiate on the day of the event. If she doesn't I usually go ahead with the plans and text her a photo of the entree, etc. Then you don't write to her again unless she works hard for your attention.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Yes, you never send a date reminder. Force her to initiate on the day of the event. If she doesn't I usually go ahead with the plans and text her a photo of the entree, etc. Then you don't write to her again unless she works hard for your attention.

Upgrade your mindset @bigneil. A woman's greatest loss is the loss of your time and attention. Texting her a photo of an entree communicates you are now having a meal there alone, thinking about her. That makes her the prize, not you (and definitely not some entree she's missed out on.) If you sent nothing, she'd at least be wondering if there was another woman with you, since she isn't. Instead, you make it clear that you are alone and thinking about her and missing her. Like it or not, that conveys both weakness and neediness. It's not a move of strength or dominance as you might believe.

You texting her a picture of entree, is like a holding out a carrot on a stick. Realize doing so only makes you look weak. Should she desire to join you next time so she won't miss out on the entree or you?

Strong, dominant men, attract women by being strong dominant men. Women that are attracted to you, are just that...attracted to you, not some carrot on a stick. Ditch the carrot on the stick response/routine. You are better than that!! Be the strong dominant man that you are! Experience women's attraction to you increases as a result!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Once you set a date, there is no need to initiate anything until you're there in person. If it's a FIRST date with a chick from online, you can send a non-needy feeler along the lines of "running late, if you get there first grab us a seat at the bar" or some **** like that. Texting before the date allows her the opportunity to reject you. Make her wonder where she stands and let her do the initiating.

 

[Aesthetix29]

Thanks for all your advice .. This is finished. Not spoke in a few days. Live and learn ha ha

 

[EyeBRollin]

Thanks for all your advice .. This is finished. Not spoke in a few days. Live and learn ha ha

I wouldn't call it finished until 2-3 weeks of N/C. Sometimes (not often) they come around.

 

[bigneil]

Upgrade your mindset @bigneil. A woman's greatest loss is the loss of your time and attention.

I see your point. My point is that I've invited her to a certain event and if she wants to come, fine, but if she doesn't, I'll still go by myself and have just as much fun without her. Also, this isn't something that has happened very often. Probably only once that I can think of recently. She wrote back and said she had a death in the family! It was a lie of course, and I never saw her again.

 

[Aesthetix29]

I wouldn't call it finished until 2-3 weeks of N/C. Sometimes (not often) they come around.

So is it best for me not to contact her at all .. Not heard off her since Thursday ( 4 days ) ?

 

[EyeBRollin]

So is it best for me not to contact her at all .. Not heard off her since Thursday ( 4 days ) ?

Oh for sure. Never contact this woman again. I'm saying you may or may not hear from her in the next month or two.

 

[Aesthetix29]

Oh for sure. Never contact this woman again. I'm saying you may or may not hear from her in the next month or two.

I'm tempted to text her but I won't ... We use what's app and if I go on and she's online she leaves straight away haha! Weird how easy they change ... This time last week she was proper interested.

 

[GoodOne123]

I'm my opinion she didn't seem too bothered. She canceled a perfectly good date for the both of you to have a good time at a nice place. Instead she offered to rush the interaction at her workplace during her break. It's good you didn't agree to do that, since it would have made you look bad.

From what I read in the next few posts, it seems she didn't want to come out with you afterwards either.

Drop her, delete all trace of her in your phone and social media. She wasn't that interested. Girls who are interested will make it easy for you, are agreeable to whatever you suggest, and in these cases quickly initiate a date if they happen to turn you down one time.