What age did you quit the night scene?

[BlueAlpha1]

I'd like to know if and when you had your epiphany that included one or more of the following revelations:

"The drinks cost way too much"
"I think I'm way too intelligent/old to be treated like street **** by these bouncers"
"The girls in this scene are the worst of the worst and harder to game"
"I could be doing better things than this"

From 18-21 I did a lot of parties in college. At 21 everybody wanted to go to the bars and that wasn't the same. I'm 27 now and spend many a Saturday night reading or listening to philosophy, working out (even if it's just long outdoor walks), or wracking my brain trying to figure out new ways to make money, often ad nauseum. When I do go out I only enjoy myself 25% of the time, like reuniting with old friends, a hostel pub crawl with strangers when I'm traveling, or on a cruise ship where everyone is in a great mood and the girls are more open. I seem to have a terrible time when I'm in my local city, or a city I lived prior. Girls have even picked up on this and pointed out how I was way too tense.

Unless it's a special occasion, "average" guys like myself are not prioritizing by blowing hundreds of dollars on weekends all centered around the off chance they can catch lightning in a bottle and get laid. After all that's the whole purpose of this dog and pony show. You can tell by looking at them that most of these guys are not having a good time. On the other hand, it's very difficult to train your mind to remain at ease despite the fact you have nothing to do on a Friday or Saturday night. In our materialist culture that is an unpardonable sin. That's half the reason they go, just for the exaggerated war stories.

Do you still go out a lot? Why or why not?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

5 years old

 

[handle]

It got old by the time I was ~19. As you say, it can still be fun sometimes if you're in a foreign country or it's a special event. If there's a DJ you really like spinning funk records or something that can be fun (and a place to meet people who like the same music as you) but otherwise, yeah, why would anyone 20+ go clubbing?

 

[Von]

For me by 19.

In my country, legal drinking/voting/adulthood is 18.

Never was a club guy. However, I found out who I am and what I love at 25 ( I also got single).

So I do enjoy the loundge or speakeasy atmosphere. The social dance club, with friends or a date.

Never been more "night life, sport, social, business active" than I am now. But I would'nt go in a club again.

My quiet nights can be Friday or Saturday to where I read/study/think of making money.

It's normal with age.

BTW, I am usually asleep by 1am now

 

[LouieFresh]

I've never been much of a drinker. I go to clubs a couple of times a year because that's where some friends like to spend their birthdays, and I am the DD.

 

[JohnChops]

went clubbing a lot at 18 and then at 19 it got boring. Started going out around 22 again, but never got into it like before. I honestly don't like the night scene unless it's a special occasion. I don't get how people go out every weekend and do the same , exact, thing.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

went clubbing a lot at 18 and then at 19 it got boring. Started going out around 22 again, but never got into it like before. I honestly don't like the night scene unless it's a special occasion. I don't get how people go out every weekend and do the same , exact, thing.

Just Curious. What do you chop?

 

[logicallefty]

I never started any kind of clubbing or going to bars or anything till 30. Never even went to a strip club till 30. I stopped hitting the night scene hard around 36. I still go to a couple bars occasionally but I don't drink when I'm there, I pretty much only drink at home now.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Seems like a general consensus on the forum.

In my city you see everyone: 22 year old gaming virgins who still hold their beer against their chest, 30 year old meat-heads, thugs, 50 year olds running with a crowd a generation younger than him, total introverts who clearly don't belong. The one thing they all have in common is they're rolling the dice to get laid. It has to be. No man wants to stand in long lines to overpay for beer and sweat balls to ear-shattering music.

What they don't realize is every girl gets dressed to the nines, and many of them are not there to put out but to collect 20 numbers as an ego boost of sorts. The ones that do decide they're getting laid are very selective. The HB 8-10's are trying to leave with the only two millionaires in the room. And every HB5-7 thinks they're entitled to the man just a notch under the millionaire. In other words 60% of the women are standing around waiting for a 10% man to approach and won't settle for anyone else

I had a blast last summer doing a pub crawl at a hostel with 40 people in Barcelona. Enjoyed myself in a cruise ship club back in November. In June I'm going out with 4 bros for my birthday, so a few times a year I get it. But do most guys not get that doing this 8x a month is not the best use of their time or money???

 

[raider87]

I went at it the hardest when I was 20. Knew guys that worked with the clubs so often got free entry and drinks. After that it fizzled out a bit. I'm nearly 30 now so I might go out clubbing just a bit more then call it a career. It never was my scene though. Daygame is where its at.

 

[Huffman]

Always hated clubs, hated the music. When I first came to this forum clubbing seemed to be what all the PUAs do, so I started hitting clubs with friends, to challenge myself, to approach, etc.

To be fair, I did learn a bit about the workings of sexuality. I would get wasted, hit on girls with ridiculous lines and couldn't believe it was actually working. It was fake confidence, but it was a start...right?

I learned how to flail my limbs to those boring beats but I was never feeling it. People would tell me "don't be so tense" and I didn't know what they meant. Until I finally realized that I still hated the music, that I was bearing the pain of it in order to get laid....and that's seriously crazy. I stopped after college.

Since then, I would always feel a bit down because I wasn't going out on Saturdays. Until I found something way better than clubs..... proper dancing! It turns out there is a sizable Forró community here with lots of free parties. Everyone is relaxed and friendly, and mostly single. Either way, even if they're not, nobody there has refused me a dance so far.

Hell, I'm not going back to clubs. Why go through all that pain and "inner game" stuff when you can just walk into a room and before you can even get a drink you already have hot girls asking you to dance?

 

[fastlife]

A lot of rationalizations to stick to comfort zones ITT. I used a lot of the same ones for a long time, up until ~4 months ago (thought I 'outgrew' the club/bar scene around the time I turned 22).

-You don't have to drink.
-You don't have to dance.
-If you have a bad night out, it's 100% on you.
-If you do the same thing every time, that's 100% on you.
-There are plenty of girls who'll also be sober.

The truth is that for most cities the nightlife is the purest distillation of the SMP. It's the only place where there is anything approaching an abundance of attractive females. It's where male competition is at it's highest. Is it high-pressure? Yeah, if you're not used to it. If you're in NYC or Miami or another big city or close to college campuses or the beach, etc., then, yeah, do day game if that's your thing. But if you're complaining about the quality of women in your area and you're using online dating as a crutch and getting terrible results or you're catching feelings for girls you work with or settling for whatever scraps you can get in your social circle, but you don't 'like' going out, well...

There are 168 hours in the week. 128 after work. 72 after sleep (if you get 8 hours a night). And you're telling me you don't have 4-8 hours once a weekend to invest in developing your social skills?

 

[BlueAlpha1]

A lot of rationalizations to stick to comfort zones ITT. I used a lot of the same ones for a long time, up until ~4 months ago (thought I 'outgrew' the club/bar scene around the time I turned 22).

-You don't have to drink.
-You don't have to dance.
-If you have a bad night out, it's 100% on you.
-If you do the same thing every time, that's 100% on you.
-There are plenty of girls who'll also be sober.

The truth is that for most cities the nightlife is the purest distillation of the SMP. It's the only place where there is anything approaching an abundance of attractive females. It's where male competition is at it's highest. Is it high-pressure? Yeah, if you're not used to it. If you're in NYC or Miami or another big city or close to college campuses or the beach, etc., then, yeah, do day game if that's your thing. But if you're complaining about the quality of women in your area and you're using online dating as a crutch and getting terrible results or you're catching feelings for girls you work with or settling for whatever scraps you can get in your social circle, but you don't 'like' going out, well...

There are 168 hours in the week. 128 after work. 72 after sleep (if you get 8 hours a night). And you're telling me you don't have 4-8 hours once a weekend to invest in developing your social skills?

That's not the claim I'm making. I'm saying there are much better uses of your time in developing your social skills. I just joined a class on buddhist philosophy and meditation - not to meet girls, but because I view the process of training the mind and curtailing anger as a worthwhile challenge - but I wouldn't be shocked if I met girls there anyway. I really do prefer day game nowadays.

You're right about the "purest" manifestation of the SMP. That's the whole problem. It's not exactly a secret that the dating scales are heavily tilted in favor of the female since the advent of social media. If you're a millionaire or are extremely tall, you'll kill it at night game. But if you're a guy who is not his ideal self in life, you're playing a rigged game. Hell even an SMV7 guy, that is to say upper 30%, is going to struggle more often than not.

In many cases, you do have to drink. Cover charge and minimum 1-2 drinks is easily $30-50 to get one foot in the door. Nevertheless what you're saying is if you're an average guy, partake in night game - but don't drink, don't dance, and try to stick to sober girls. That is not a recipe for success. The vast vast vast majority of the time circumstances will dictate a $100 expenditure even if you take it easy and a less than fun time (we're talking $75 even if it's JUST the cover charge and two Ubers) for what could amount to a 20% chance to get laid. I smashed an HB10 hooker in Amsterdam for less than the cover charge at some big-city American clubs.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I didnt hit clubs at all untill I reached a certain level of look and social skills, then and only then I went all in, approaching and chasing with the same uncaring aggressive attitude of an arab guy commenting girls picture on facebook.

I approached group of girls sitting in tables with no doubt, countless bull**** and the most creative ideas.

I spent hundreds of euros when it was worth and didnt even buy a beer if there was no reason, I've been in a club from midnight to 7am when it was working and left the scene 15 minutes later if I didnt get the vibes.

This happened in my late 20s, then in the last 2 years I dropped it, it was no longer fun, I felt out of place, annoyed from small talks and short of energy in that environment, never liked to dance except when the deal was on...maybe Im grumpy but I dont feel like a random girl is worth my attempt, the power to reject me or the privilege to have me try hard...plus I became obsessed with sport so no alchool or late nights.

I mostly dropped when I felt that the work/benefits ratio was not reasonable.

 

[old_skoolr]

Went crazy at 18-20, then partied overseas and went crazier, then sorta got over it.

Now at 26 with a gf, I'm rarely out. Though I still go out at least once a month for a drink the boys or with the gf, but I enjoy a nice bar, rather then a loud noisy club.

You have to go out with the mindframe of just having a laugh, if you go out expecting to pick-up, you'll almost always fail

 

[Poon King]

Seems like a general consensus on the forum.

In my city you see everyone: 22 year old gaming virgins who still hold their beer against their chest, 30 year old meat-heads, thugs, 50 year olds running with a crowd a generation younger than him, total introverts who clearly don't belong. The one thing they all have in common is they're rolling the dice to get laid. It has to be. No man wants to stand in long lines to overpay for beer and sweat balls to ear-shattering music.

What they don't realize is every girl gets dressed to the nines, and many of them are not there to put out but to collect 20 numbers as an ego boost of sorts. The ones that do decide they're getting laid are very selective. The HB 8-10's are trying to leave with the only two millionaires in the room. And every HB5-7 thinks they're entitled to the man just a notch under the millionaire. In other words 60% of the women are standing around waiting for a 10% man to approach and won't settle for anyone else

I had a blast last summer doing a pub crawl at a hostel with 40 people in Barcelona. Enjoyed myself in a cruise ship club back in November. In June I'm going out with 4 bros for my birthday, so a few times a year I get it. But do most guys not get that doing this 8x a month is not the best use of their time or money???

I agree with this.

I did night game for over 10 years. Started at age 18 and only stopped around two years ago at age 30. Still.. I knew it was a waste of time long before stopping. I've posted about that before. I only did night game so long because I enjoyed clubbing and flirting with women on its own. Now that my clubbing friends have mostly retired from it, there is no incentive to go anymore. But when I was a regular, I hit on girls for fun knowing the probability of a lay was lower than in most other situations.

The reality is nightlife is the worst place possible to meet women. Most are out ONLY for attention with no interest in a hook up. Only after you become a regular at a particular place, make friends with the staff, and get to know the women who are also regulars does it start to pay off. But that's a lot of work just to get poon and most clubs along with their staffs have a short lifespan. So that bouncer you know who lets you in free or that bartender that hooks you up with free/cheap drinks every weekend in exchange for a large tip will be gone in a few months. Then you have to start over. Unless you love the night scene on its own.. its a bad return on investment.

 

[In2theGame]

I was mostly in Relationships in my early 20's and once i hit mid to late 20's i started going out a lot. When i first started hitting the NYC nightlife, I got so much female attention that i was addicted to going out every weekend and picking up girls left and right. ONS, Hook ups later in the week, Dating girls for a bit etc. As you can imagine, NYC nightlife is loaded with girls everywhere you go. I just recently slowed down a lot mostly because of the drinking as im trying to get my body fat % back into the single digits and the "high" of picking up many girls a night got kinda stale. Right now I'm more into just chilling out without the loud music and drinking although I still go out with friends when I'm "feeling it". Last night out was about 2 weeks ago and had a ONS with this pretty cute blonde chick. I havent been out since but next week is one of my friends B-day's at a bar/lounge and I'll probably be out then.

 

[bigneil]

I might stop when I turn 46.

But I still rule the pool table and 20 year old waitresses who hardly know me still run over and hug me when I see them.

Let's see, I picked up girls in (non strip) bars which led to sex the following years (my ages in parenthesis):

1) 1991 (age 20 with fake ID)
2) 1996
3) 1998
4) 1999
5) 2000 (age 30)
6) 2002
7) 2004
8) 2007
9) 2010 (age 40)
10) 2011
11) 2013
12) 2014
13) 2016 (age 45)

There were also countless other girls I met in bars who I made out with or had dates with. Probably 100. They are often just as much fun.

So about 13 girls over 25 years. That's about 1/3 of the girls I bedded.

 

[foreverAFC]

i stopped going to bars when i was in my early 20s and really started focusing on martial arts and weight lifting instead, i was in they gym on friday and saturday nights from then on

 

[DiegoSantori]

German here.

My golden age of clubbing: 18-22

Long break from clubbing: 22-25

Short two-month comeback after I turned 25.

Now I've completely lost interest in clubbing. It's possible that there will be further comebacks in the future, but the incentive has to be massive to win me over.