Has anyone else experienced this?

[DiegoSantori]

Whenever I tell someone (doesn't matter if women or men) to show me some respect after they've said or done something disrespectful, I always get the same response: "Ay yo, chill. Don't take things so personally. Why are you so sensitive? Blablabla."

It's like people use the sentence "Don't be so sensitive!" to justify disrespectul behavior. I'm relaxed most of the time, but there's a difference between being laid back and being a doormat who smiles and does nothing when people treat him like garbage.

What is your favorite response to this "Ay yo, chill!"-bullsh**?

 

[Tictac]

You must be pretty touchy or people wouldn't be telling you to lighten up.

Respect is earned. If you have to ask for it, that's on you.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Be sure to also consider and resolve the deeper issue, why people feel comfortable showing you disrespect in the first place.

 

[Serenity]

Oh, you're one of the guys who demands respect... I fvcking hate when people do that, I'll give it if I FEEL like respecting the person. Funny thing is that the one demanding respect can't do jack sh!t about it.

I'll tell you how I respond when I feel so-called "disrespected". I walk away laughing, showing disrespect in return. Demanding respect will do exactly the opposite, kill their respect for you.

They're probably right, you gotta chill and not take it seriously. If you react you're taking it seriously, it gives them power over your feelings.

 

[CMNILS87]

Whenever I tell someone (doesn't matter if women or men) to show me some respect after they've said or done something disrespectful, I always get the same response: "Ay yo, chill. Don't take things so personally. Why are you so sensitive? Blablabla."

It's like people use the sentence "Don't be so sensitive!" to justify disrespectul behavior. I'm relaxed most of the time, but there's a difference between being laid back and being a doormat who smiles and does nothing when people treat him like garbage.

What is your favorite response to this "Ay yo, chill!"-bullsh**?

Do you take sarcasm well or no? If you did, i think this would even be a question and you'd just brush it off or just ignore stupid disrespect sentences altogether. If i'm teasing you or giving you ****, its really to illicit a response and for you to test me and tease back. When you take it personal, you come off as "that guy". If someone actually says some derogatory **** in front of me i give them a dead stare, ****eyed eyebrow, and silence to increase tension and let them know they ****ed up. You don't have to say anything to get your point across

 

[DiegoSantori]

Do you take sarcasm well or no? If you did, i think this would even be a question and you'd just brush it off or just ignore stupid disrespect sentences altogether. If i'm teasing you or giving you ****, its really to illicit a response and for you to test me and tease back. When you take it personal, you come off as "that guy". If someone actually says some derogatory **** in front of me i give them a dead stare, ****eyed eyebrow, and silence to increase tension and let them know they ****ed up. You don't have to say anything to get your point across

I tend to get in Kanye mode, when I'm not given the respect I feel I deserve. Death stare + silence seems to be a better strategy. Thank you!

 

[BeExcellent]

Never verbalize a need or desire to be respected to someone by whom you feel disrespected. Just go about your business in a deliberate way...cut up with your pals and dish out same as you get (in a sh!tty/funny way). Enjoy yourself.

The way you conduct yourself is what creates respect. If you are feeling "less than" somehow then look introspectively and find out why.

Don't worry too much about people's opinions of you. Most people are too self absorbed to pay anyone else that kind of attention. But all of us (since we all are ego centric) *think* everyone else is doing things to us or in spite of us.

When I really grasped that nobody cares what I think as much as I do because they are too busy caring too much about what they think & how others perceive them...wow it took lots of pressure off my shoulders and allowed me to relax and just be.

Quit caring so much. Just observe & respond. If you don't appreciate someone's behavior, don't reward it. If you do appreciate it, do reward it. Simple.

 

[Tictac]

I tend to get in Kanye mode, when I'm not given the respect I feel I deserve. Death stare + silence seems to be a better strategy. Thank you!

Not paying attention or laughing it off is a better strategy.

 

[old_skoolr]

Give some examples of them not giving you the proper respect.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Give some examples of them not giving you the proper respect.

Last year, for example, I was at an event with a chick I had an on-again/off-again relationship with. There was this large buffet and we were sitting at one of the tables with her female friends. I was sitting right next to my girlfriend and told her that I was going to get me something to eat from the buffet. She nodded, I left my keys and my cell phone on my seat to make it clear that it was taken, but when I came back, one of her friends was sitting on my seat and my keys and my cell phone were not in their orginal spot anymore. I know, you might say that is something trivial but it's a point of principle. I asked myself: "If George Clooney left his keys and his phone on his seat, wouldn't his girlfriend tell her friends that it's taken?" I told her that this was a sign of disrespect on her part. Should I have ignored it?

 

[Tictac]

So sensitive!

You give stuff like this any of your thought?

How much does stuff like this actually affect your life?

 

[DiegoSantori]

So sensitive!

You give stuff like this any of your thought?

How much does stuff like this actually affect your life?

Depends on the woman. If I don't care about the chick, I tend to go full IDGAF mode and my sensitivity level drops near zero. If I care about the chick, I'm deeply concerned with the way she treats me. I guess, my definition of respect and disrespect is way different from other people's definitions. They set their boundaries a million miles away from my boundaries.

 

[Yewki]

Last year, for example, I was at an event with a chick I had an on-again/off-again relationship with. There was this large buffet and we were sitting at one of the tables with her female friends. I was sitting right next to my girlfriend and told her that I was going to get me something to eat from the buffet. She nodded, I left my keys and my cell phone on my seat to make it clear that it was taken, but when I came back, one of her friends was sitting on my seat and my keys and my cell phone were not in their orginal spot anymore. I know, you might say that is something trivial but it's a point of principle. I asked myself: "If George Clooney left his keys and his phone on his seat, wouldn't his girlfriend tell her friends that it's taken?" I told her that this was a sign of disrespect on her part. Should I have ignored it?

Dude this is pretty mundane and insignificant. This happened last year? The most surprising thing to me is that you even remember it happening

 

[guru1000]

Last year, for example, I was at an event with a chick I had an on-again/off-again relationship with. There was this large buffet and we were sitting at one of the tables with her female friends. I was sitting right next to my girlfriend and told her that I was going to get me something to eat from the buffet. She nodded, I left my keys and my cell phone on my seat to make it clear that it was taken, but when I came back, one of her friends was sitting on my seat and my keys and my cell phone were not in their orginal spot anymore. I know, you might say that is something trivial but it's a point of principle. I asked myself: "If George Clooney left his keys and his phone on his seat, wouldn't his girlfriend tell her friends that it's taken?" I told her that this was a sign of disrespect on her part. Should I have ignored it?

Such a sensitive flower. Life is going to have its fun with you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Respect isn't demanded... it's earned.

If you are doing everything properly, NORMAL people will treat you with respect. If you find someone that treats you with disrespect while you are acting like a respectable person, then that individual is flawed, and you can not fix them.

Demanding respect from a people that are incapable of giving respect because they are flawed is a waste of time. Just walk away from people like this. You will have a more peaceful demeanor and a happier life.

 

[yungballa]

sh1t like this is so trivial. dont over think this. youve gotta learn to laugh at yourself in life sometimes. you might feel disrespected or mistreated at times when people are laughing at you, but its not always to disrespect you. sometimes people might just be fvcking around with you. you've gotta learn how to just have a sense of humor, and learn to laugh at yourself.

now if theyre just outright disrespecting you, i'd say show no reaction. Do not get upset because of other people or certain situations. Both are powerless without your reaction. You control your feelings and emotions, not other people. What if people are disrespecting you, and you stand with no reaction (unfazed). The people disrespecting you have no power over you.

Keep your composure. Don't allow other people to control/worsen your mood. Take everything lightly and remember you are in command of yourself at all times.

Nothing in life is so important that you should upset yourself over and ruin your peace of mind.

And honestly, if you're just being straight up disrespected and you know that person isn't joking, just walk away and cut that person out of your life. It's that simple. What's the need to keep someone around you if theyre just going to disrespect you.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If I stuck a lump of coal up your ass right now, by the time you read this it'll have turned into a diamond. Do be so tight.

When people are joking, know that they are. If they are dead serious and mean to insult, that's when it's fine. But if people are saying that to you all the time, well you are hyper-defensive and need to not give a crap.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Dude this is pretty mundane and insignificant. This happened last year? The most surprising thing to me is that you even remember it happening

I remember way too much. My memory is a treasure chamber full of insignificant conversations and trivial things people said to me on specific days this year, last year and 10 years ago. Only benefit of my good memory is that I am able to learn languages with ease.

 

[bigneil]

When someone disrespects an Alpha he usually gets in their face and they usually back down.

Asking nicely for respect is missing the point. What's next, you'll want a special bathroom?

While you can't demand respect (explicitly) you can command it (implicitly).

 

[RangerMIke]

Depends on the woman. If I don't care about the chick, I tend to go full IDGAF mode and my sensitivity level drops near zero. If I care about the chick, I'm deeply concerned with the way she treats me. I guess, my definition of respect and disrespect is way different from other people's definitions. They set their boundaries a million miles away from my boundaries.

If you feel like you need to 'set boundaries' then you have already lost. Women are VERY intuitive, you might be surprised to learn just how much she knows you. Men think they can hide sh!t from the women in their lives... but you really can't. If you feel like you have to 'enforce' boundaries you are a complete idiot. Being a boundary enforcing jack@ss isn't fun. Why in the FVCK would you waste your time trying to maintain a relationship which is no longer fun.

If she is pushing your buttons there is a VERY good chance she knows what she is doing. We call it "testing" but I've come to believe there really is no such thing as compliance tests, that's just PUA bullsh!t. There is such a thing as "sh!t tests", this is to screen out men and normally stops unless you are not acting like a man anymore.

A 'compliance' test is actually just a woman trying to see how much she can get from you. The idea that she wants you to turn her down is such complete bullsh!t. Oh course she wants you to do what she asks, and so called 'failing' a compliance test by being nice to her is nonsense. If you get a lot of so called 'compliance tests', this is an indication that she really isn't that physically attracted to you, and she is trying to make up her lack of attraction with appreciation for what you can do for her. The more you do, the more she expects... IF her attraction is on the low side of acceptable. A woman in love will want to do things for you, and not expect anything in return except your time and attention.

Now... if you so called "pass" a 'compliance test' and she is not attracted to you, it means nothing. A women that has already determined that she will not fvck you (and she does this in less than a minute) there really is little you can do to turn this around. If you are not going to do things for her and she isn't interested in fvcking you, you are USELESS to her, and she will push you away. NOT doing things for her just allows you to gauge interest level more effectively and saves you money and time. It does NOTHING to improve your chances.

You shouldn't be a butler for women, but there is nothing wrong with doing nice things for women as long as they are willing to reciprocate, because if she is not putting effort towards you she will never be as attracted to you as you would like.