Have you noticed this while "interacting" with women?

[SmooveMooves]

I hate when dudes come here whining that women are so evil because they only give attractive dudes attention. We do the same thing.

When the pretty girl in the office sneezes we say bless you to her and tend to ignore the fat cigarette smoking slob. If the slob wants people's attention, she needs to quit smoking cigarettes and hit the gym. Which is the answer to your whining.

Let's ignore the issue that validation for you comes from women telling you bless you when you sneeze. If you want people to respect you, you need to respect yourself.

You NEED to work out. You NEED to diet. You NEED to dress well. You NEED to validate yourself.

If you were looking for people to pat you on the back, tell you 'it's okay,' and create a self pity echo chamber for you to roll around in you are in the wrong place. No. No one has noticed what you experience when you "interact" with girls because most here aren't complete non self-aware. Clueless2016 is fitting.

There needs to be a website called "selfhate" for guys like you. You seem to only want to cry about your circumstance rather than take any action. You yourself listed the reasons people find you repugnant. Fix them or shutup.

 

[grayclif]

You notice the different behaviour in small things like when sneezing they say bless you to the attractive guy but if you sneeze its like you are not there, you dont exist, you say good morning or good afternoon to them but they dont answer back and simultaneously you notice they reply to another guy and even smile and are very nice.

You start to think at first it's all in your head, that's it's just a big coincidence, but then you notice it a lot and a lot more, you try to make small talk to these women (not teens, women from their late 20's to their 40's) and they just act oblivious towards you, some just give you weird looks like you have something wrong or have done something very wrong to them even if you didnt. It's like they hate your guts but they dont know why (or maybe they do?) and you dont know either.

I'm 39, bald (i think its a death sentence for a guy), i'm not physically fit, and i guess i'm not considered attractive, at least i've never been told that i was attractive by a woman before. So my question is are these related? they hating your guts because you are not sufficiently attractive so you deserve their attention/time?

What i've been doing is avoiding women all the time, not talking, not even being near them, it's them in their territory and me in my own world. I get along fine with guys, they treat as equal, maybe they dont see me as competition and i've made lots of male friends.

For me being in my own world, avoiding them is perfectly fine, i've been without a gf for a very long time and frankly i dont feel the need to have one, i'm even seriously thinking about permanent celibacy. If they hate my guts, if they find me repulsive or whatever even if they dont know me at all then fine, its the cards i've been handed, so ill have to play along.

It's just sometimes i wonder if im the only one feeling like this, noticing these things and anything changed in your experience to improve the situation (if you wanted to change or improve something) and what and how you did it.

I'm not anti social, im not autist, i wouldn't say i have poor social skills, because i hang around guys perfectly fine. i'm maybe just not attractive enough and that's why i'm considered as a social outcast (even if that's not how i see myself).

Even today as i left work i said goodbye see you tomorrow to a co-worker and guess what: silent treatment, it's like i'm a ghost. Next minute i see this guy greeting her and she replies.

Is it just looks? Or how you dress? How much money do you have (or they think you have) ? Is it because you exist and you shouldnt?

Go to the gym and lift heavy weights. If you are fat reduce calories to 2000 per day (40% of it should be proteins). Stop drinking. In three months you will be a different person.

Don't worry about how others are being treated in relation to you.

After 3 months go and select a new wardrobe. Buy clothes that slim fit. Invest in a few great pairs of shoes. Make sure your head is cleanly shaven.

As someone mentioned above, come back here and let us know how everything is going.

Read the DJ Bible.

 

[LiveYourDream]

The way I see it is you are deeply insecure as a person and as a man with women. Rather than own the truth of your discomfort and insecurity, you hide at home and avoid women. Rather than recognizing that you are uncomfortable with who you are, you project those feelings onto women, and declare that women are uncomfortable or displeased with you. It's a story you make up, to justify staying the same, and remaining comfortably--uncomfortable, because it is what you know.

Sure, you can say you have evidence for how you are treated differently. I have no doubt that your examples come from, how negetively YOU feel about yourself, and then how you project that onto women.

You feel stuck so what do you do? YOU seek external signs to justify your beliefs, so you can justify to yourself that you are victim to women and you are powerless, so you can further justify why you, unlike other men, are justified in hiding away at home and considering a life of celibacy. You can keep selling yourself that story, for the rest of your life if you want. It's a sad way to live. You don't have to.

You also have the option, to live a much more rewarding experience. You have to give up playing victim to have it. That means self responsibility. Self responsibility for yourself, your life, your actions and the results you are getting. Folks who choose to live in victim mentality often feel tremendous pressure when they consider being self-responsible, especially in new ways.

I encourage you to consider giving up victimhood and shifting your view of self responsibility, to thinking of it as freedom, your freedom. When you can embrace that, your life will flourish. It's all yours for the taking. If you choose it and do the work to make it yours. Victimhood or Freedom, entirely different lives. Choice is yours.

 

[Clueless2k16]

if being bald, having some grey patches in the beard and being somewhat out of shape (i'm not a fat turd of lard) and work to have an income at the end of the month is what defines a guy as creepy, then i'm your creepy guy numero uno. i mean that's what a guy in their 40's usually looks/ is like (if you inherited male pattern baldness that is) isnt it?

I grew up in a time when creepy was defined as someone with bad intentions, an assassin, a rapist, a pedophile, a child molester, but defining creepy as someone who is almost 40 and looks as if he is 40 or even older it doesnt matter, i guess that's going to far. but this is just my opinion.

Yeah i could go to gym, build some muscle, lose some kilos, get a tan, dye my beard, i could also spend a large sum of money in getting an hair transplant (which i dont have), but all this for a piece of ass? I could easily do this for myself at my own pace, without rushing things, never for a women no matter how hot she is.

Basically what you guys are saying is i look creepy and looking creepy influences my thoughts, making me not only looking creepy but also thinking creepy and they get that vibe and act accordingly.

Low Value Male = bad looks, creepy, not rich = seen as creepy, uninteresting, invisible, etc

 

[Clueless2k16]

Also someone mentioned that i dont like women and avoid them?

I avoid them not because i dont like them, but because no matter what i say or do, they either a) ignore me or b) treat me like ****.

If i was a woman hater i wouldnt even try to understand the whole scenario.

 

[Tictac]

if being bald, having some grey patches in the beard and being somewhat out of shape (i'm not a fat turd of lard) and work to have an income at the end of the month is what defines a guy as creepy, then i'm your creepy guy numero uno. i mean that's what a guy in their 40's usually looks/ is like (if you inherited male pattern baldness that is) isnt it?

I grew up in a time when creepy was defined as someone with bad intentions, an assassin, a rapist, a pedophile, a child molester, but defining creepy as someone who is almost 40 and looks as if he is 40 or even older it doesnt matter, i guess that's going to far. but this is just my opinion.

Yeah i could go to gym, build some muscle, lose some kilos, get a tan, dye my beard, i could also spend a large sum of money in getting an hair transplant (which i dont have), but all this for a piece of ass? I could easily do this for myself at my own pace, without rushing things, never for a women no matter how hot she is.

Basically what you guys are saying is i look creepy and looking creepy influences my thoughts, making me not only looking creepy but also thinking creepy and they get that vibe and act accordingly.

Low Value Male = bad looks, creepy, not rich = seen as creepy, uninteresting, invisible, etc

If you believe it, it's true.

Enjoy!

 

[Clueless2k16]

So I've been there, it's either because of two reasons in my experience 1) Your creepy 2)Your around ****ty people.

Also if you stop and think for a minute, their behavior is rather inhumane so perhaps you should get away from them?

at last someone who understands where im coming from. Please tell me your situation improved somehow. Did you change yourself to their liking or you accepted the cards you were given to by fate/life?

 

[Who Dares Win]

if being bald, having some grey patches in the beard and being somewhat out of shape (i'm not a fat turd of lard) and work to have an income at the end of the month is what defines a guy as creepy, then i'm your creepy guy numero uno. i mean that's what a guy in their 40's usually looks/ is like (if you inherited male pattern baldness that is) isnt it?

I grew up in a time when creepy was defined as someone with bad intentions, an assassin, a rapist, a pedophile, a child molester, but defining creepy as someone who is almost 40 and looks as if he is 40 or even older it doesnt matter, i guess that's going to far. but this is just my opinion.

Yeah i could go to gym, build some muscle, lose some kilos, get a tan, dye my beard, i could also spend a large sum of money in getting an hair transplant (which i dont have), but all this for a piece of ass? I could easily do this for myself at my own pace, without rushing things, never for a women no matter how hot she is.

Basically what you guys are saying is i look creepy and looking creepy influences my thoughts, making me not only looking creepy but also thinking creepy and they get that vibe and act accordingly.

Low Value Male = bad looks, creepy, not rich = seen as creepy, uninteresting, invisible, etc

I believe the guys here are genuinely trying to help you but at the same time I believe they are going too hard on you.

The truth is that you're partly right, in this particular historical and cultural era any man that doesnt fit a top 20% in terms of look and status is considered a lesser man, any man that doesnt fit a top 60% in terms of look and status is probably considered an hassle for the simple fact of being there and even dare to talk or asking to be acknowledged.

Now old age, baldness, fat, poor body posture and so on are all causes for you being below the minimum level to be acknowledged as a human being with dignity, rights and feelings.

What the guys are basically telling you is to fix all those items that drop your value down, your mentality and self confidence is not an issue itself but a direct conseguence of the feedbacks you receive from the outside world.

Dont listen if someone tells you to "be more confident", telling a man to be more confident is like telling a homeless to be more rich, its not something that come from inside, what comes from inside are the condition to start the right motion which will lead to change and get it, wheter is confidence or money.

No mater how often I hear it, I dont believe confidence comes from within, if you lose any challenge you do and people make fun of you or ignore you, there is no way you can be confident.

What you can do is train hard, win the cup beating all your opponents and once the cup is there then you become confident in your strenght, ofc I talk by example.

 

[Clueless2k16]

I believe the guys here are genuinely trying to help you but at the same time I believe they are going too hard on you.

The truth is that you're partly right, in this particular historical and cultural era any man that doesnt fit a top 20% in terms of look and status is considered a lesser man, any man that doesnt fit a top 60% in terms of look and status is probably considered an hassle for the simple fact of being there and even dare to talk or asking to be acknowledged.

Now old age, baldness, fat, poor body posture and so on are all causes for you being below the minimum level to be acknowledged as a human being with dignity, rights and feelings.

What the guys are basically telling you is to fix all those items that drop your value down, your mentality and self confidence is not an issue itself but a direct conseguence of the feedbacks you receive from the outside world.

Dont listen if someone tells you to "be more confident", telling a man to be more confident is like telling a homeless to be more rich, its not something that come from inside, what comes from inside are the condition to start the right motion which will lead to change and get it, wheter is confidence or money.

No mater how often I hear it, I dont believe confidence comes from within, if you lose any challenge you do and people make fun of you or ignore you, there is no way you can be confident.

What you can do is train hard, win the cup beating all your opponents and once the cup is there then you become confident in your strenght, ofc I talk by example.

so basically the only options are reduced to: getting in shape, maybe buy some fancy clothes and try to find a job where the income is higher. did i miss anything?

 

[Clueless2k16]

btw has anyone here who started to get greys in the beard dye it to look younger?

 

[Çharismo]

What's happenin brah brah!!! I'm funna drop some science on yo ass so get ready nigga!!!!

If you think that women "hate" your guts I'm going to let you know that I am the KING, the GRAND MASTER PUBA, the DON, the MAFIOSO of getting hate and I don't mean just some elementary-school $hit I'm talking pure, aggressive, hostile, "you ain't better than me!!!!" or "why doesn't this guy just go away already!!!!!" hate. That's some next level $hit you don't wanna get to brah because it gets very dangerous at this level. So if you THINK that women "hate" you or people in general don't like you I have to give you a reality check and let you know that...NO ONE HATES YOU. I want you to get that OUT OF YOUR MIND. Just because you aren't getting a certain response doesn't mean that women hate you but in actuality they can probably sense that you don't have any confidence, you reek of insecurity and low SELF-esteem, you might even be coming across as trying too hard, or even "creepy" which is very transparent in your writing. You have a huge inferiority-complex (most people in general have this and it manifests itself in many different ways) and this constant comparison of where you measure up is damaging you. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND RELAX!!!!!!

I know it's easy for those of us who have reached a certain level of mastery to type out various solutions or discuss the path to getting out of this rut that you are in but at the end of the day playa...it comes down to YOU and what you want out of life. There are a lot of amazing insightful information that has been provided for you but unless you take ACT-ion and really dig deep inside to put all this in the past and start to move forward you are not going to make any progress. It's a tough process but you have to be willing to push past your boundaries and get UN-comfortable. Look man...no one said that this was going to be easy but you have to do the best you can to maximize what you have. Make yourself as attractive as humanly possible to the best of your ability because unless you do that you won't know what your limits are.

If you are out of shape...get in shape. Don't know how to approach women...start approaching women. Don't have a sense of humor....start developing one...and the list goes on. If you notice...everything requires ACT-ion. You have to change what you don't like about yourself and it starts from the inside--out and believe it or not you might even discover some talents that you have which you didn't even know about but the point is that you have to be willing to explore and expose yourself by being absolutely raw...not on an artificial or superficial level but right down to your CORE where a lot of your issues stem from. You have to be willing to confront all the bull$hit and rewire your thinking. Your inner-world reflects your outer-world so whatever you have going on inside WILL project itself outside. Start to slow things down a little and take it one step at a time until you start to enjoy the process and it becomes fun. DON'T BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES OR YOUR ENVIROMENT!!!!!---

On an ending note...if you think being a very attractive man means that life is super easy you have another thing coming brah. Watch this interview very carefully and you'll figure out the rest.

 

[GetFit66]

at last someone who understands where im coming from. Please tell me your situation improved somehow. Did you change yourself to their liking or you accepted the cards you were given to by fate/life?

I'm 24, I also have greys and have many times been told people thought I was older, like 30 or 33. From being in your shoes before I can tell you it's two things and likely both in your case. It's the same things I said before. A certain level of ****ty has to ignore you and treat you in subhuman, it's understandable they don't find you attractive etc so they don't respond to your advances (if made) or they get cold towards you. But thats not what you described, they treat you as subhuman, show a lack of common courtesy, something a ****ty person would do.

Number two. You could be creepy, chicks especially masculine types or ones who think they have a **** hate submissive men or men who they think aren't confident or there going to see you as a loser (****y retarded loser) because you still have guts but they have no interest in you so your also repulsive and creepy to them.

Number three... I know I only said I have two things to say but I'm going to give you some insight you can become the typical sosuave idiot who thinks he's following the dj Bible, you can workout, get in good shape etc, be "****y arrogant confident, not take **** from anyone, pretend you are the most alpha mother ****er on the planet" use techniques that make women wet, you'll pull women, likely even alot of women if you do it well, but only a certain type of women will get in good LTRs with you. The type that you are currently dealing with today.

I suggest improving you personality because it likely has issues as everyone likes confident fun people, you are treated like ****, I've seen people in worse shape get treated better.

 

[GetFit66]

Why does this forum censor stuff.. Some of the most controversial and offensive conversations go on in here...

 

[ZTIME]

so basically the only options are reduced to: getting in shape, maybe buy some fancy clothes and try to find a job where the income is higher. did i miss anything?

So we now have 2 pages of people trying to better your situation, yet you feel the advice won't work. Why?

Did they really reduce your options, or did they increase your chances?? Let's see:

1. You were told to get in great shape. By doing this you would be more healthy, generate more "natural" confidence, live a more active lifestyle, and yes....look more attractive to women.Something wrong with this advice or does it seem like too much work for you?

2. You were told to adjust your wardrobe. (Which based on your posts so far, I'd guess you wear pretty baggy clothing to hide that out of shape frame) once you're in shape you'd need some new clothing. Nicer clothes say "I care about myself and the way that I look". They build more "natural" confidence, and yes....you'll look more attractive to women. Something wrong here too??

3. You were told to actively search to better your income. Every man that cares about himself and works his a** off to achieve what he wants deserves to increase his income and lifestyle. If you had more self confidence you would understand this. A guy who has more income (especially in his 40's), has the ability to preserve his lifestyle, increase his desires, prepare for the future, travel more often, and increase his activities. Ohh and yes.....you'll look more attractive to women. Something wrong here???

The truth is that you do these things to feel better about yourself. The by product of doing these things is women will find you more attractive. Honestly......all people like people who care about themselves FIRST. It shows you value yourself.

Why don't you thank these people and start getting to work?? Then start another thread on how much we all helped you and say thanks again!!

If not......,go buy the box of touch of grey. It seems to be the lazy path you're looking for.

 

[Who Dares Win]

so basically the only options are reduced to: getting in shape, maybe buy some fancy clothes and try to find a job where the income is higher. did i miss anything?

Improve your social skills in the process too, or your faking skills whatever you wanna call them.

Fitting somewhere requires you to quit part of what you are if what you are is not welcome, a world of warcraft nerd can either be free of being himself or get decent dress and behave differently if he wanna fit in a night club.
His metallica tshirt, dirty hair and crappy posture hardly would let him there.

If a military type wants fit in an artist neightbourhood has to quit his military haircuts, boots and pragmatic no bull**** attitude.

Again Im talking by examples.

 

[Huffman]

There needs to be a website called "selfhate" for guys like you.

I suggest 4chan.org/r9k

 

[ubercat]

Lot of gold on the thread. But one extra point I haven't seen is that if you are a happy positive person all those guy friends you have a going to start introducing you to girls probably through their own chicks.

So I have a German mate who is way too fat and bald. He works in i t like me brain the size of a planet and is a huge nerd. I asked my girl friend if she has any friends who would like to meet a good guy. She's got another cute Chinese friend at work in her twenties.

My mate was a bit reluctant obviously because of insecurities about the way he looks. I pushed past his b******* and we've got a double date set up for poking around the market next weekend.

So then I rang him up gave him some simple body weight exercises to do for homework said to take a before and after photo in the next week. He s doing it.

Point is if you start to help yourself other people start helping you too. Anyway I've got to run because I'm a bit sore after tennis last night and I need to do my own body weight exercises and shadow boxing to work out the Kinks. There's no shortcuts buddy for anyone.

 

[RangerMIke]

Understand this:

(1) All women are the same, they have different values, but they all view men the same way, and pretty much respond to the same things.

(2) All women evaluate men on what males can do for them. They do not care about YOUR feelings, they only care about how you make them feel.

(3) If in the first half minute she determines you are NOT someone that she might be interested in, then she does not care about you. It's not hate.... she just doesn't give a fvck. Truth is if she hated you, you could actually work with that. I can turn around a woman that hates me: not a women that is indifferent.

(4) Women will not respect men that do not respect themselves. If you are out of shape, dress like a slob, behave like a clueless dolt, then you are telegraphing you do not respect yourself. So if you fail to make a positive impression in the first minute you meet a woman you will not exist in her mind.... unless you are family or a friend.

Get in shape, exercise and eat well. Get some decent clothes that look good on you and fit properly and the response you get from women will be significantly improved.

 

[No.Danny]

They treat you the same way I treat the ugly ass hoes who have the audacity to try and converse with me and think they have a chance. It's how the world works buddy. If you don't put and effort to maximize your looks and be the best possible person why should anyone else care? You're an ugly fat slob, you don't get acknowledged. Welcome to the cruel little world princess.

 

[grayclif]

btw has anyone here who started to get greys in the beard dye it to look younger?

I'm 46 and full gray. Sometimes I grow a beard but I neatly shape/trim it. I keep my head hair low/short. I do not color. The women I meet all say they like the look.

A low beard neatly trimmed and a cleanly bald head is a good look. A few months getting fit you will notice the change first in your face. It will appear more chiseled and less round and puffy.

The 40''s for me are a great time because I can date women from their 20' thru 40''s. Though there are a lot of single mom's I do have a strong dating life.

IMO the reason for this is because I stay in shape and I have a good job and a business. It's not because it makes them feel better about me(though it helps) it's because I feel good about me.