OK mature men... How did you learn the Game ?

[Dingo]

Curious how some of the older guys learned the Game back in the day. Not a lot of resources back then...

All I can remember was the Playboy advisor column and the advertisements. They had some real good advise. From clothing to music and drink. You wanted to be like Hef.... or the Rat Pack. Movies where big too. Coming out of the 60's-70's Sexual Revolution and into 80's things where definitely different... simpler easier times.

Now it seems that you have lots of good info but lots of bad women...

 

[SuckItUp]

Learn like most do by making mistakes and vowing not to repeat them and also listing to people when they have sound advice instead of thinking you can defy the odds.

 

[yuppee]

I was never "in the game" i have always looked for my women at the karate dojo or the shooting range/gunshows. By establishing that they are interested in things at which I excell, I had a "leg up" on any competition (if there was any at all, that is) and I had common ground about which to talk, on subjects that I have a lot to offer. I don't get into much of anything at all that most women are 'ate up" with, so I seek to avoid all that, right from the start. I don't want a gal who is opposed to my main interests, resents my time spent at them, doesn't enjoy sharing them. Starting without that general advantage is something I just wont do. "there be dragons', so to speak that I don't care to deal with. Life is too short for all that.

 

[euclid]

I am in my fifties and discovered this forum a couple months ago. I have found much of my "game" came to me late in life (40's) after a lifetime of AFC behavior that created failure after failure. It still is incredibly difficult for me to behave close to a DJ with a girl that is incredible and where I give a sh*t (the one). I found somehow the best way not to care was to have several points of interest (3 or 4 others) so that no matter what happens, there is always tomorrow and another girl. The challenge is the younger women 28-32. Keeps me young and learning. I thank you all for the advice on this forum and the confirmation and confidence it provides.

 

[zekko]

Partly trial and error, partly from other people, partly from generalized knowledge. Here are a few examples of each:

Trial and error: I learned early on from dealings with women that romantic gestures did not have the desired effect. If anything, it just made for an uncomfortable situation by creating false expressions. Better to just deal with them straight up as people. RSD talks a lot about calibration - I think I learned that from early failures (and successes). I was too affectionate with this one, wasn't affectionate enough with that one, etc.

Other people: I learned to spin plates from a girl I had a crush on. She was smoking hot and she had numerous suitors after her, and she would go out with different ones that appealed to her, giving them a chance to impress her. If they didn't, she would cut them off ruthlessly. I noticed that the fact that she had all these men after her just made her look all the more desirable - when I was a young man. Today, I would just look at her as too much trouble to bother with.

Generalized knowledge: A lot of the advice here was available in the mainstream as clichés or truisms, not sure how to put it. "Don't be needy", "Don't look desperate", "Strike while the iron is hot", "Make her jealous", "Shop around", etc. etc. I think the only really new idea I've encountered in the PUA community was the neg, which is known as the "backhanded compliment" in the mainstream, although I had never heard of it being used to attract women.

 

[Desdinova]

The DJ Bible was my main source of information. I also picked up "Double your Dating" when it was new. I eventually tracked down a collection of stuff called "The Seduction Library". There wasn't a lot of information back then, but I was able to fill in the cracks myself.

 

[dustmuffin]

I just started on my DJ voyage 7 months ago after a dumping. I was married for 22 years and was mostly beta with alpha coming out once in a while. I'm still learning. Reading everything I can get my hands on. I did learn a few things doing trial and error in my marriage such as removing attention from the wife.

 

[Tictac]

I was an 'accidental master' in my youth. Then I was married for 24 years. When that ended, it was clear that what worked then wouldn't work now.

So I came here. It's been very helpful.

 

[sodbuster]

Well, I read "the Game" but that coincided with my getting my life where I wanted it, then not giving a **** about having a woman in my life or not.{my Divorce and something to do with that....} They came out of the woodwork...

 

[ubercat]

I read an early version of Double your Dating and lost numerous hot chicks thru cluelessly doing C&F. Took me a long time to realise that you had to build Comfort first.

Then I read the game which introduced me to the idea that there were different styles and approaches out there.

like most guys I came here after an ltr break up. I pretty much regard game the same as any other type of marketing. Get your product price placement snd promotion right and you'll sell.

the guys have taught me a lot. the most important concept for me to grasp was interest level. I used to take great pride in using mybag of tricks to fvck chicks who really weren't my type but then it was unstable

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Some of my behavior has always been this way, but other aspects of it not so much. I first became exposed to red pill sites like this one after I was happily married. Even married guys can still learn some stuff and I definitely have. I think for me the greatest thing that sites like SS have given me is being able to bring everything together for every man to understand the gender dynamics of interacting with women.

Example: When I was about 16, this one girl in our class was in a relationship with a friend of mine, for I guess 3 months. It ended, she started dating another friend of mine. Again about 3 months. She starts talking me up and wanting to spend time with me. I remember thinking "Why would I want to be all up in her pu$$y where my friends had just been?", and didn't pursue her at all and she lost interest. Of course i actually dont know they had sex because if they did, they would not have been able to shut up about it because I know for a fact the first time the first friend I mentioned had sex. They probably messed around a little though. Anyway....that was just my natural instinctive reaction; I knew she was working her way through all of us; I didn't want any part of it. Looking back on it now, it probably would not have hurt anything if I let her blow me, but oh well. She probably legitimately wanted d!ck and my other 2 friends were disappointing her by not offering it up.

For us guys, we need web sites like this because we think logically. Women do not, but more importantly women have this sort of stuff genetically programmed into them that they don't need tips or advice. The majority of women can get d!ck whenever they want; the majority of men cannot.

 

[Yewki]

For us guys, we need web sites like this because we think logically. Women do not, but more importantly women have this sort of stuff genetically programmed into them that they don't need tips or advice. The majority of women can get d!ck whenever they want; the majority of men cannot.

Women don't need tips or advice because they play on easy mode. Their advantage was given to them through social conditioning and not a single woman can be given credit for this. But they can certainly take advantage of it. Good for them.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Women don't need tips or advice because they play on easy mode. Their advantage was given to them through social conditioning and not a single woman can be given credit for this. But they can certainly take advantage of it. Good for them.

I think you're absolutely right. It's sort of like how every year around this time you see some news stories about how a certain few large Fortune 500 companies paid no taxes. The article insinuates that they are shady, crooked, doing some illegal, etc. and should be paying taxes.

HELL NO!!

Those large companies can afford to hire on directly certain cream of the crop attorneys in order to do just that: find legal ways in our current tax laws so they have ZERO tax burden. They are using the existing rules to their advantage.

Don't necessarily hate the player; hate the game I guess.

 

[zekko]

I have no problem with everyone chipping in with their stories, but I do think the OP was asking specifically about a time before the internet and the PUA community became popular.

Women don't need tips or advice because they play on easy mode.

They play on easy mode as long as they're young and attractive. If you look at women's magazines, there is plenty of dating advice in them. A lot of it has to do with how to make their hair silkier, their skin soften, cover their facial flaws with makeup, that sort of thing - because the game is more physical for them. Flirting is also big with women. Since they take the passive role, they look for more indirect methods for getting a guy's attention. An attractive woman will always get attention, but they may not get attention from the guy they want.

 

[dasein]

I think you're absolutely right. It's sort of like how every year around this time you see some news stories about how a certain few large Fortune 500 companies paid no taxes. The article insinuates that they are shady, crooked, doing some illegal, etc. and should be paying taxes.

Yep, what they want you to believe is that big companies don't pay taxes, which is BS and part of the deflection scheme to distract you from the actual corruption in the government and its cronies who make their money pointing a gun at us as opposed to voluntary transactions. Every year, some of the largest companies will have a very favorable tax year for loads of possible reasons. It won't be the same companies every year, but there will always be a few out of the S&P 500. Note that you never see articles about "this giant company which hasn't paid taxes in ten years" because they don't exist.

To the topic, I was a natural growing up, but completely clueless about seduction and building attraction. Got laid regularly, but fell in "lurv" constantly and sacrificed my dignity for women on many occasions. I had bought into the line that women were better than men and that to be a man meant "winning" a woman. My eyes were opened in my late 20s and early 30s working for a large bank with a large territory in an executive capacity, the constant invitations to cheat by married women were like a smack in the face to my perception of the "fair sex." The first time I heard the term "hypergamy" a bell went off and have been far more happy with women ever since. Any game I have comes from studying human cognition, particularly heuristics and cognitive bias, and working in sales for several years early on, not much from PUA.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I never learned game. I read the red pill about self-actualising and frame. I don't have any clever tricks. I go to the gym enough to stay in shape. I have learned if I believe I am sexy then I become sexy. I like to talk to women. Because I am confident and honest about what I want I have enough interest to usually not be too worried if a woman is not happy about my lifestyle choices. They know where the door is. Surprisingly, morecwomen are OK with that than I would have realised before I woke up to myself.

 

[speed dawg]

I owe it all to this site. There was a lot of good posters back around 2004-2005 when I was at my AFC worst. DJ Bible and other things helped, but were all funneled through this site - and that's why I keep coming back and don't like seeing this place turn into a retarded cesspool of spoiled limp-wristed lib-tards. Who, by the way, are even more frustrated than I was over a decade ago.

 

[SkrooU]

Tom Leykis really appealed to my red pill intuition. He didn't discuss much about how to actually pick up women though. He was too judgemental and got a thrill out of berating people on the radio. He would continually brag about being rich and insult men who weren't. Still he had some solid advice for men wanting to get laid but not ruin their lives in the process.

My friend's older brother taught us some good ways to pick up women. It was all a matter of having the balls to do it after learning it. I think most guys understand game but it's difficult to apply because they just aren't social enough to be graceful with it or they're just too shy to attempt to use it.

There's some good stuff here on sosuave. It would've helped a lot to have this when I was younger.