Alphaness is not a desirable trait for most women

[marmel75]

Because prowess in the bedroom is directly related to muscle mass and mindlessly pounding away

Yes and women subconsciously know this even if they can't express it. Almost instinctually they know that Testosterone levels are directly related to both gym and bedroom performance.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Yes and women subconsciously know this even if they can't express it. Almost instinctually they know that Testosterone levels are directly related to both gym and bedroom performance.

One can be dominant and confident in the bedroom without looking like a bodybuilder. Muscle mass helps. But there's far more finesse to sex and getting women off than just being large and in charge. That's all i'm saying. Not debating the fact that athleticism and muscle mass gets women wet. I just don't think it trumps body language, attitude, experience, creativity and focus in the bedroom.

I think that we're too quick to judge that these beta b!tches are necesarily worse than us in the bedroom. They might have an ace up their sleeve, which partially accounts for why women stick around.

 

[Yewki]

I think that we're too quick to judge that these beta b!tches are necesarily worse than us in the bedroom. They might have an ace up their sleeve, which partially accounts for why women stick around.

I mean I'm sure there's exceptions, but generally no. Supplicating chumps don't hold the respect of their woman nor do they know how to take command of her.

 

[marmel75]

One can be dominant and confident in the bedroom without looking like a bodybuilder. Muscle mass helps. But there's far more finesse to sex and getting women off than just being large and in charge. That's all i'm saying. Not debating the fact that athleticism and muscle mass gets women wet. I just don't think it trumps body language, attitude, experience, creativity and focus in the bedroom.

I think that we're too quick to judge that these beta b!tches are necesarily worse than us in the bedroom. They might have an ace up their sleeve, which partially accounts for why women stick around.

I'm talking about performance. Your ability to perform is directly correlated to your testosterone level.

 

[salinechow]

Thx for the tips!
The thing is my social circle is big enought, I meet tons of girls but it seems I cant keep a relationship. Im tired of the one night stands and casual sex. I doesnt fulfill me anymore. The girls I date usually call me distant, cold, not reachable enough, "not the commitment type". WTF?!?!
And the worst part is that these girls tend to later fall in love with a beta man. That sucks.

PS: I lift regularly, meditate (mindfulness), go out with friends and walk my dog hahha

Im going to make this easier for you than it seems. So easy, you probably wont take my advice.

Talk more.

You just need to conquer the fear of saying whatever the hell you want in the moment. 95% of the time this mentality puts me in the gain column. Woman are attracted to SOME emotional vulnerability. So long as you dont whine about anything, and they always see you accept defeating moments well and in stride, as well as, make moves to change it.

In short, show you are annoyed, tired, caring, communicative. Show it. Dont "be" it.

You want a woman to always be able to say to others, or think to herself..." You know, you'd never think so, but he has a softer side that no one really sees."

Just talk more. Leave a little mystery always and dont blabber on, but communicate. I think your alpha mentality may be stifling you a bit, and you also may be a little overly introverted. Work on that.

 

[Almax]

OK so I'm gonna assume that most of the girls you're interacting with aren't in boyfriend/husband-hunter mode, which is a good thing (where I am, girls usually ride the CC hard early and are looking to 'settle down' with 'someone nice' at about ~22).

You (at least initially) pass their screening test for the lover role--which gives you more leverage than coming across as ideal bf material, in which case you have to jump through more hoops upfront and will be subjected to more manipulation and deception. Really you're in a pretty good spot. However, as I mentioned in your last post you need to sleep with them faster; otherwise you're placing yourself in that no-man's-land between lover and relationship material, but don't quite fit either box and...you're out.

But you're looking for a relationship. So forget Alpha/Beta and start thinking in terms of emotions and resources. To have anything longterm develop a girl has to be confident she can either access your resource or experience you emotionally. But you're coming at things from a lover role, which places a lower priority on resource--and you need to focus on emotions. Emotional unavailability =/= Alpha (though it's great for girls w/ daddy issues). Emotional independence = Alpha (she reacts to your emotions and not vice versa).

Here's a template you can follow:

1. Sex early. Sex creates emotions.
2. Follow up with teasing (but definitely follow up). Drop those 'Had a great time with you last night' texts. More along the lines of, 'Wow you're a great dinner guest ' (or whatever activity led up to her coming over).
3. Limit emotional investment & enjoy the moment. This gives her the emotional space to invest in you. But be warm and emotionally present.
4. Keep having fun--after you've hooked up a couple times, start sprinkling in more boyfriend/girlfriend activities.
5. Qualify--make her feel that she's earning special treatment:

OP: "This is crazy. I almost never take girls out for dinner after I've slept with them."
Girl: "OMG you're such a player...what makes this different?"
OP: (Highlight a desirable behavior she displayed). "Most girls don't make my bed the next morning.

Or "Every other girl expects me to text back and forth all the time. I like that you give me space."​

6. Screen. Repeat step 3-5 until she's proven she's made the cut for a girlfriend. This process should take place over a couple months and should be based on her performance and not your projection. Deflect any "where is this going?" talk up to this point with something like, "I don't know, but I like it." You'll know when she's reached her breaking point; then you can just say randomly drop something like: "All my friends think it's crazy that I have a girlfriend." She'll feel like all of 'work's' paid off--and you're job from then on is just to maintain leadership & control of your emotions.

​

That was great! Thx for that!
I just dont like to show emotions, I mean the bad ones. If I do it i feel like a woman, I prefer to let things unsaid and become distant.

Yeah and they are also addicted to cheating on them with "real men"

Maybe but in the meantime the beta man can keep a relationship for years... Im noy saying that I wanna be like them, not at all. Im just saying that women are retarded.

Im going to make this easier for you than it seems. So easy, you probably wont take my advice.

Talk more.

You just need to conquer the fear of saying whatever the hell you want in the moment. 95% of the time this mentality puts me in the gain column. Woman are attracted to SOME emotional vulnerability. So long as you dont whine about anything, and they always see you accept defeating moments well and in stride, as well as, make moves to change it.

In short, show you are annoyed, tired, caring, communicative. Show it. Dont "be" it.

You want a woman to always be able to say to others, or think to herself..." You know, you'd never think so, but he has a softer side that no one really sees."

Just talk more. Leave a little mystery always and dont blabber on, but communicate. I think your alpha mentality may be stifling you a bit, and you also may be a little overly introverted. Work on that.

Thx for that post. What do you mean when you said "talk more"? It sounds like whinning to me. How do you do it?

 

[amazingswayze]

giggity

 

[dutchmaster]

it's not the women that chose them, it's them who let the women know they're here to stay

 

[salinechow]

I have said before, and experienced myself, as it pertains to this community...Sometimes when we first have our infant AFC eyes opened to the truth, and choke down the red pill, the pendulum can swing wildly too far the other direction. That is not good either.

In some ways I think it needs to happen. In very many ways I honor it, and the lessons and frame I have gained here and in other texts. Yet, I think, and I think a lot of others would agree, the pursuit and self judgement of being "alpha" or "DJ" can opaque the real you. This is wrong and unhealthy as well. Its another version of "people pleasing". At a certain point, you are gaming yourself. Thinking, "If I get this right, Ill never lose another girl again." Mystery, physique, strong, unattainable, text, dont text, say this, dont say that, dont spend to much, dont say to much, dont be nice, and definitely dont be too nice, but be human, etc etc.

The thing of it is, all that is a great balance for some of of us to start to take in and pay attention to. It should be heeded. Indeed, I preach it here and to myself daily. But...I think the real truth, the real win, the real man, the one whom is a natural, and pulls any girl he wants without fret....Is the one who unapologetically loves himself and honors himself first. No matter what he is.

In that, the pendulum begins to steady. No more swinging. Just steady steel.

Advice is like perfume, it is meant to be sniffed, not swallowed.

I once posted about sending a girl flowers or not. Many valuable inputs weighed in, in a way I still appreciate. In the end, I sent them. An over the top bouquet on valentines day of all things. A real blue pill beta move if you ask most. Some thought it was. Others, at the end of the day said, go for it, but be warned. Later on, I f6cked and had an overall great time with that girl for a year and a half.

Looking back, you know what I learned? From all of you and in myself... You do things you want to do. Trust your guts, and have no outcome independence. Then, when its your time to walk, you walk. You do you... and you'll always be happy. Sure, youll still need advice here and there. And, it will be good advice, even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment. Ultimately though, no matter where you are on your walk in this life, in the moment you only have yourself to congratulate or condemn. Best do it with heart, freedom, and self respect, regardless of outcome.

So, after all that, in answering your direct question...Open up a little bit.

Talk with a girl. Say whatever you want. IF she is looking sexy, tell her. If she is being a sh!t, tell her that just as quickly and passionately. Had a bad day, tell her. Girls like emotion. Girls are emotion. Just dont complain or whine about it. Ummm, the best way I can describe how this works well for me, is...State things as a matter of fact. It shows the ability of emotion without being "emotional".

Example, I was talking with my plate the other day. 15 hr day which included the fiercest boxing sparring match since I was a teen. I was tired and literally beaten. She could tell on the phone. Instead of saying. "Im just tired" or Like some would say around here, not even talk to her on the phone. I told her how I was feeling. I told her I was tired, my body was aching, and that the last ****tail I had was hitting me. I gave her some details about my work day. I gave her some details about my opponent. I gave her some details about my Scotch. I even told her, it was all making me feel soft and that it would be nice to have her around to sooth and comfort me in a way only a woman can. I didn't complain about it. I didnt give a woe is me sob story. Actually, I even talked about how much I loved that I am able and capable of participating in such things.

She asked if I wanted her to come over. I told her not really. She insisted. I let her.

When she arrived, I didnt entertain her, or even talk to her much. I fell asleep with her, in panties and my shirt, scratching and rubbing my arms and back. Woke up the next morning and had great, sober, morning sex and left her to go to work.

Sometimes we game ourselves right out of the game. Thinking, an "alpha" would never tell a girl about his day, or why some parts of it sucked. Or tell a girl why his parents can be obnoxious, or that a girl once broke his heart. However, I have found, after a couple of dates and some interactions, girls love some realness, jagged edges, imperfections and above all....Authenticity. Especially, in "the moment". Its not whining...its life.

Look, they dont want to be your emotional tampon either. Just like we shouldn't let a girl unload every tiny perceived indiscretion to us. But people want to f^ck people not rocks or robots. Except sometimes on the first or second dates. After that though, things progress.

If you are not comfortable being yourself thats fine, but at least show them the previews, or its boring. If she doesn't like what she sees when you do...Next. Its a win. You didn't waste anymore time. Made room for someone else.

80/20 is a good rule. I find they start to beg to find out who I really am. Yet, never think Im boring or an a$$hole.

As an aside...PLATES. Always have plates spinning. Just in my own experience, everytime I haveonly just one girl, its inevitable that by sheer math, I "need" to much from her. THATS what you want to avoid!

Im starting to see that it is so much easier to have a swiss army knife of girls at ones disposal to gain one might want from girls. Have a party girl, have a sweet nerdy one, have a oneitis(no dont) have an ex, have a gym girl, have girl-friends, have a F^ck buddy, have a main plate, have a Tuesday, have a young one, have an older one( that took me a while) have an orbiter, have a love, have a few #s, have Tinder. I think then and only then, will you ever know if there is a "right" girl for you.

Anyway, just say whatever you want, "in the moment" you might be surprised.

 

[amazingswayze]

Advice is like perfume, it is meant to be sniffed, not swallowed.

This post has so much substance

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Goat post tbh

 

[MrWood]

Because prowess in the bedroom is directly related to muscle mass and mindlessly pounding away

no
umm, how old are you?

 

[BeExcellent]

Read and really digest what @salinechow said.

You gotta be real; human; genuine; authentic.

Women worth having around eventually require some emotional depth from men. Relationships hinge on trust, depth, and connection. If you won't reveal some about who & what you are, then your woman has nothing to love, admire, respect & follow.

You looks, "game", and other external variables only get you so far - and after a while things get shallow - we all want to know and be known; to love & be loved; you must grant someone access to the real you if you are going to connect with someone else.

Masculinity and depth are independent although connected. You can be extremely masculine and extremely deep as well. Does this involve emotional risk? Of course. All worthwhile investment has risk, including emotional investment. But the returns can be deeply satisfying.

You are growing through a phase where you get how to behave and how to frame yourself externally; but you are judging yourself at every turn and too worried about what others think about you internally. Quit doing the analysis paralysis & just be; exist. Have zero 'give a sh!t'. You'll be shocked how much more "real" you will feel, be, and appear when you do this.

It takes courage & strength. Do it. You'll see. Be who & what you are, good, bad & in between. Women are drawn to authenticity like iron to a magnet.

 

[handle]

Couple of thoughts to add:

- A lot of behaviours that are considered "alpha" get tiresome after a while. Things like telling her "i'm picking you up at 7, dress nice, cancel your plans" with no negotiation of timeframe is hot in the beginning, but not so hot half a year later when she was planning on an evening of doing laundry and talking to her mom.

- Also, a lot of you guys probably do things you think are "alpha" but are actually annoying, and she just puts up with them because she's attracted to you. How many times have you overlooked some dumb sh*t she does just because she's hot?

- How do you know some guy the girl is with on the street is "beta" anyway? Because he doesn't dress cool? What do you know about what they're like in private?

 

[RangerMIke]

I agree that women are not really attracted to Alpha characteristics, these are only indicators of what women are really attracted to. Women want 4 things in a man: Resources, Looks, Masculine Traits, Personality.

Alpha behavior is part of masculine traits, and it's low on the scale of what women really want.

Personality is on the bottom, Masculine traits are twice as important as personality, Looks are twice as important as Manly traits, and Resources are twice as important as Looks.

To a woman how much money you have, or your potential to earn money is in and of itself more important that all of the other characteristics combined. So a Beta male who is a multi-millionaire will be more attractive than than a good looking Alpha Stud.... BUT women are emotional creatures... they float where their emotions take them. Catch them in a horny moment and the good looking Alpha male will bang her with little effort.

The bottom line is a guy that has strong Alpha Male characteristics are attractive to women because these characteristics are indicators of the probability that a man is good at making money and collecting resources. It's not the traits themselves, it's what these traits represent.

 

[fastlife]

I agree that women are not really attracted to Alpha characteristics, these are only indicators of what women are really attracted to. Women want 4 things in a man: Resources, Looks, Masculine Traits, Personality.

Alpha behavior is part of masculine traits, and it's low on the scale of what women really want.

Personality is on the bottom, Masculine traits are twice as important as personality, Looks are twice as important as Manly traits, and Resources are twice as important as Looks.

To a woman how much money you have, or your potential to earn money is in and of itself more important that all of the other characteristics combined. So a Beta male who is a multi-millionaire will be more attractive than than a good looking Alpha Stud.... BUT women are emotional creatures... they float where their emotions take them. Catch them in a horny moment and the good looking Alpha male will bang her with little effort.

The bottom line is a guy that has strong Alpha Male characteristics are attractive to women because these characteristics are indicators of the probability that a man is good at making money and collecting resources. It's not the traits themselves, it's what these traits represent.

Think it's highly dependent on the age of the woman in question--and whether you are trying to fit their short-term or long-term mating interests.

Unless a girl >23 comes from a financially insecure background, resources are very low on her priorities. She still has 7 years to collect cash & prizes.