How Should I Play This Situation?

[fastlife]

@Nu Vision Could it be that she just didn't have confidence that your convo was going anywhere interesting, cause I sure didn't. Don't try to get to know a girl over text. Toss an invite in there more quickly.

Asking a girl if she's single is pretty much saying Please, give me a sign that you won't reject meeee. Move first and let her reject you if she's in a relationship (or not).

NV: Hi. It's Nu Vision from Xerox. Kim was here today. I asked about you. How are you?

G: Hi Nu Vision! Yes, she told me she saw you today. She also told me you may be coming to our event? I'm great. (she's excited--waiting for you to ask her out now.)

NV: Maybe. Convince me over drinks

Done.

But you didn't do that. So I'd drop out during your trip and want to 'catch up with her over drinks' when you get back.

 

[Nu Vision]

Fvck!

Whenever I think I got this handled (basics down) I get into situations where I make dumb mistakes.


She texted a few minutes ago:

Yes, I'm single. Blame my father for my name. He was in love with an actress and decided to name after her.

I'm thinking this is the chance to right the ship and ask her out straight and simple with one text.

 

[fastlife]

I'm thinking this is the chance to right the ship and ask her out straight and simple with one text.

This. She's high interest enough to respond to that--get her out. I'm assuming you're much better in person & you need to play to your strengths.

 

[Nu Vision]

This. She's high interest enough to respond to that--get her out. I'm assuming you're much better in person & you need to play to your strengths.

Will do. Yea. My dates usually go well.

I'll wait a few mins so in don't look desperate.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Just do it

 

[Nu Vision]

"Join me for drinks at 8 in such and such place."

Or

"You seem cool. We should get together. I'm going to be at ______ this Saturday. Join me."

 

[Nu Vision]

Or "how about we continue this conversation over drinks at _____ on Saturday".

 

[MrWiggles]

I thought her friend already introduced her as being single, why did you ask her again?

In any case, TELL her to meet you for drinks NOWWWWWWWW

Say, I am free (pick a weekday first if you can, if she is busy and is interested she will suggest a different day. Let her suggest a weekend day) let's go get a drink.

 

[Nu Vision]

I'm of course over thinking this at this point .

Another girl I invited out for today I texted a few hrs back to confirm we are still on for today and asked for her address. No reply. Maybe she flakes.

 

[Nu Vision]

Done.

I texted: we should meet up. Let me take you out for drinks next week. I'm free Tuesday.

We'll see what she says.

 

[Nu Vision]

The other girl says she may not be able to meet up tonight because she is in the dentist with a bad toothache.

Lol

Sounds like BS. I'll just say that's too bad. Hope you can me it. Let me know.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Please don't get caught up in oneitis world bro. Any time I see these type of threads, I see the potential of it. Spin plates. U showed interest. Now it's her move.

 

[Nu Vision]

Please don't get caught up in oneitis world bro. Any time I see these type of threads, I see the potential of it. Spin plates. U showed interest. Now it's her move.

Ive been on contact with 3 girls precisely because I don't want to focus on only one so I don't catch oneitis.

Looks like offering a Tuesday for the date backfired. No reply from her since this afternoon.

I know it's recommended to offer a weekday but who the hell goes out on a Mon or Tue? If you gotta work next day.

 

[dustmuffin]

Ive been on contact with 3 girls precisely because I don't want to focus on only one so I don't catch oneitis.

Looks like offering a Tuesday for the date backfired. No reply from her since this afternoon.

I know it's recommended to offer a weekday but who the hell goes out on a Mon or Tue? If you gotta work next day.

You should have offered her a choice....SAy monday or tuesday. I had a date every evening this week. I'm waiting on today's date to get here. You don't get drunk. You have a drink or two. If she is interested she will accept or offer an alternative date. I work and do weekday dates all of the time.

 

[Nu Vision]

You should have offered her a choice....SAy monday or tuesday. I had a date every evening this week. I'm waiting on today's date to get here. You don't get drunk. You have a drink or two. If she is interested she will accept or offer an alternative date. I work and do weekday dates all of the time.

Gotcha. I said to her I'm free mon/tue.

 

[BeExcellent]

Way too much texting Nu Vision. At this point I'd suggest waiting till next week and then on next Thursday....

NV: Hey G. Hope your week is great. I'm going to be at XYZ on Friday night. They have great ABC. Come hang out.

Then wait for her to respond.

Unless she reaches out first. If she does that...see above & move up the day/time.

You kill the attraction by conversations via text with someone you haven't had a date with. Text convos are for GFs. She is not your gf. You would sound needy to me. I'd be thinking Ok. He REALLY likes me. Not good for you with this prospect.

Back way off, as in NC; be patient & hit her up next week. Get a date and be chatty and cool on date. Not before...

Let her wonder what you are doing this weekend.

 

[Nu Vision]

Way too much texting Nu Vision. At this point I'd suggest waiting till next week and then on next Thursday....

NV: Hey G. Hope your week is great. I'm going to be at XYZ on Friday night. They have great ABC. Come hang out.

Then wait for her to respond.

Unless she reaches out first. If she does that...see above & move up the day/time.

You kill the attraction by conversations via text with someone you haven't had a date with. Text convos are for GFs. She is not your gf. You would sound needy to me. I'd be thinking Ok. He REALLY likes me. Not good for you with this prospect.

Back way off, as in NC; be patient & hit her up next week. Get a date and be chatty and cool on date. Not before...

Let her wonder what you are doing this weekend.

I agree.

So you think I should text her next week when if she never replies to my invite from today?

 

[BeExcellent]

Yes, wait. Unless and only unless she responds and you can salvage it with what @fastlife suggests or something very succinct but similar.

Asking a girl if she's single is pretty much saying Please, give me a sign that you won't reject meeee. Move first and let her reject you if she's in a relationship (or not).

NV: Hi. It's Nu Vision from Xerox. Kim was here today. I asked about you. How are you?

G: Hi Nu Vision! Yes, she told me she saw you today. She also told me you may be coming to our event? I'm great. (she's excited--waiting for you to ask her out now.)

NV: Maybe. Convince me over drinks

Done.

You already know you missed the cue. Its OK, get over it and reboot.

Tomorrow is Friday. You are a busy sought after dude, right? So you are not still trying to meet up for this weekend. You already have plans with your buddies, another date, your hobbies etc., right? Let her think that's the case even if it isn't. Never know maybe you'll fly solo. Maybe you'll meet another girl. Keep your options open and your value high. No plans? No problem. Go figure something fun or someplace fun that YOU want to try and go do that. Then you are out enjoying yourself. A happy person out doing their own thing is VERY attractive. Only the confident go out alone, and then they make new friends wherever they are. Be that guy.

Next week you can decide if you want to give this girl a shot. If you do, then do it decisively and do not text like you want to be BFFs! You don't!! And when/if you ask her out sometime next week you are asking her to join you in what you are already going to be doing:

NV: Come hang out. I play darts at XYZ on Wednesday, and I'm going to this ABC tapas place on Thursday. Pick one and join me.

See how you are issuing a command? The above is two commands and two declarative statements. Declarative voice and commands indicate decisiveness. None of this 'what do you feel like doing' nonsense.

OK. Grammar lesson over. Enjoy your weekend, don't overthink it and ask her out next week unless she falls into your lap suddenly. Even then I think better frame is that you are already booked for this weekend.

 

[Nu Vision]

Yes, wait. Unless and only unless she responds and you can salvage it with what @fastlife suggests or something very succinct but similar.



You already know you missed the cue. Its OK, get over it and reboot.

Tomorrow is Friday. You are a busy sought after dude, right? So you are not still trying to meet up for this weekend. You already have plans with your buddies, another date, your hobbies etc., right? Let her think that's the case even if it isn't. Never know maybe you'll fly solo. Maybe you'll meet another girl. Keep your options open and your value high. No plans? No problem. Go figure something fun or someplace fun that YOU want to try and go do that. Then you are out enjoying yourself. A happy person out doing their own thing is VERY attractive. Only the confident go out alone, and then they make new friends wherever they are. Be that guy.

Next week you can decide if you want to give this girl a shot. If you do, then do it decisively and do not text like you want to be BFFs! You don't!! And when/if you ask her out sometime next week you are asking her to join you in what you are already going to be doing:

NV: Come hang out. I play darts at XYZ on Wednesday, and I'm going to this ABC tapas place on Thursday. Pick one and join me.

See how you are issuing a command? The above is two commands and two declarative statements. Declarative voice and commands indicate decisiveness. None of this 'what do you feel like doing' nonsense.

OK. Grammar lesson over. Enjoy your weekend, don't overthink it and ask her out next week unless she falls into your lap suddenly. Even then I think better frame is that you are already booked for this weekend.

Thanks for the tips.

Looking back my wording wasNT the best. "Let me take you out for drinks".

 

[pyros]

I think OP did..."fine".

Anyway, I would not have told her what you did: "blah, blah, I am free Tuesday". This is too limited. Its just yes or no to one single tiny option.
Either offer her a couple of days, or just ask her when she has free time during the week so then you chose.

Anyway, the fact that she hasn't texted back means she's, at least at the moment, not interested.
Nothing wrong with that, just forget about her.

The majority of women you meet are gonna reject you, mainly because they are interested in another guy or because they just dont find you that interesting/handsome.

It's a numbers game. Keep trying... lol.