What do I need to change about my POF profile to get messages?

DJDeMarco

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
60
Reaction score
2
Here's my POF profile.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=111064509

I've only got one message back since I registered in January, though about everyday I get women viewing my profile. It's not working out, I think I'm better off meeting women IRL.
Used to get messages a lot a couple years ago, but the dating pool seems to have dwindled in my area.

What do I need to do about my profile to get more messages on there?
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
POF is trash like most dating websites. I do not use them. I find that there are significantly more men than women and in women it creates this "shopping for a date" mentality. Most of the women on there are not all that they seem from their profile (picture showing best features only, information in their profile which is not entirely true). I also know some that just do it for validation, and one who abuses it to go on dates just for fun. But I will look at it and see if I can help you, even though I think that POF is crud.
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
First of all... PICTURES are important, your picture first comes up with a close up of features that are not your best (bald head, you are giving a slightly awkward smile). Get rid of that pic, this is the first pic women see. Get rid of the office one I hate it. The picture looks stuffy.
Keep the pic in the cowboy beanie, that is your best one of the ones you have. Good angle, the smile looks more natural and welcoming.
Take a pic of you doing something crazy, fun, or awesome. Like climbing a rock wall, surfing, riding in a corvette, doing boxing on a bag, playing an electric guitar, from the top of some skyscraper or other cool landmark, ect. It shows you are fun and action oriented. Women love men who are all about action.
Many women only look at the picture so this is the first thing.
Give only a few (2 or 3) of your absolute best pictures. Quality over quantity.
 
Last edited:

SeymourCake

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
1,534
Reaction score
370
Das it mane. Das it.
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
Your "about" box... Take out the all the "I like to eat out" and the whole "Chinese and Mexican food" stuff. Focus a bit more on your DJ stuff and musical ability, show passion and creativity. Women like artistic and creative men.
Get rid of the "I figured I would try online dating" it sounds pathetic. Do not say why you felt the need to go on the site just focus on your good qualities.
Portray more confidence in your "about" box, maybe a bit of humor. Talk about advenerous things you like to do. Portray a fearless confident attitude.
 

salinechow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2014
Messages
499
Reaction score
172
Location
NYC
Okay. You asked for it. Put your big boys pants on cause we all come here for authenticity and honesty. True help is derived from hearing what we may not always want to accept is the truth.

"Baaaby rutffffh !!"

Sorry I had to.

@Asmodeus Is %100 correct. You must get rid of that first picture. Its a terrible first impression. Everything is wrong with it.
The second picture is better, but must go also, your smile is contrived and unnatural, at best. Also, its a selfie, with should be avoided at all costs. Girls do it all the time. You are not allowed.

The third picture I agree is the best. It can stay. Still though, you look stiff and posing. Here is a tip.
Take videos, not pictures. Then go through the videos frame by frame and pull out good photos. Its very easy with very common and accessible free software. Usually, built right into your phone. If you really really need to, and if I can find the time. Ill do it for you.

Forth picture is garbage. I know what you were going for here but its too cluttered of a scene. Again, posed as well. If you want a photo of your DJ profession to be included, which I think could be cool, have it be an action shot of you talking into the mic at the studio.

5th picture again, looks like you are special needs. We get it. Cowboys. Right. Its to much bro.

Glasses can work. Yours do not. They are not classy on you. Later, when youre dating the girl a bit, they can be charming, but right now, Id say lose em in photos. They are not working for you.

You say you go to the gym. I can see effort, but, I think you need to kick it up a notch or two. You seem to be a bulky dude and I think you are 3 months away from looking pretty fu)cking built. Build up those arms, bi's tri' and shoulders. Arms, in photos are the first thing a girls notices. Id go light weights, high reps chest and tris, on mondays, shoulders and bis on tues. Weds rest. Repeat thurs fri. Rest sat. Sun H.I.IT traing and hit the heavy bag. I can see you have made efforts. Time to cut up. Then, bulk after you build the muscles. HEavier weight after 3 months. Cardio week once per month. In july, go heavier weights and start working in legs and back.

No social proof in any of your photos!( you cropped out the only girl in any of your photos? Why?)( In full discloser, I need to add group phots to my profile too, not as easy to come by as when you are younger)
No activities either. You need some kind of action shots. It dosent have to be rock climbing. Guitar, painting, cooking even. Anything besides just you sitting in front of a camera saying "cheese please".

And now for a public announcement. The real reason you dont have any of the pics described, is becasue you are not really any of the things a girl wants to see. GO be them. Forget that girls like it. You will like it. Take road trips and take pictures. GO out with strangers and make new friends all the time. And...take pictures. Join a club, ride a roller coaster, shoot darts and ask a stranger to be your teamate, and take pictures. Ask strangers to take pictures. Buy people drinks, ask people to buy you a drink. Talk, converse, interact. In real life. Then your OLD profile will come easy.

I sometimes think that people suspect OLD is the easy way to meet people. Its different now than it once was. 25-30 percent of everyone you meet has a strictly dating profile, 70 percent or greater, in the U.S has an online profile of some kind. Its actually HARDER to meet someone online, than in real life. You gotta be competitive. OP you even said it yourself.

OLD is not the easy way to find your perfect match. Its the hard way. You have to compete if you want to choose this route.

Foot notes.

Your statements about yourself:

It pedestrian at best. Its boring. Its totally ignorable. Best advice I ever got.

Tell a story that includes you. Dont tell people about you. Tell them what its like to be around you.

" I was at a Cowboys game once. Box seats. Company I work for invited the top performers. Great view, great game. However, the best memory I have from that was when after my boss came up to me and said" Corky, we didnt know at first, what an asset you would be around here was. Im glad your here to share the game with all of us. Next year, your buying the beers."

Its not the demonstration of success that you are selling, its the emotion and feeling of the story. Girls dig that. They dont care you got a promotion, they care that you say how things make you feel.

"Hunny, I got a promotion today" Girl says "Thats great babe" Girl thinks. "Great now he'll be spending more time at work and less time loving me, and helping around the house."

"Hunny. I got a promotion today AND IM EXCITED THAT its going to alleviate some of my stress and time so that we can spend more quality time together." Commence blow job.

Girls want to know how IT FEELS to be around you. Sell it.

Dinner is a ****y first date. Tell em how it feels to go out with you.

First date. " Chemistry is never planned. Drinks, conversation, laughter, you'll agree to nightcap. So will I." Second dates are the most fun anyway."

To someone, even you have exceeding value and something to offer. When you believe that, because you put the work and effort into yourself, you wont need or critiques to help you create your profile.

P.S. My profiles on OLD have me disqualifying way more than hoping. Cause in real life, when I do whats required, makes em fall into me. Make your profile a reflection of your dedication to yourself and youll be successful on it. Don't be lazy and looking for love.

Feel free to P.M for more.

-Saline
 

DJDeMarco

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
60
Reaction score
2
Appreciate it guys. I knew there were some issues, just needed the tools to put me in the right direction.

Will definitely get some action shots taken. Going to Nashville for the weekend soon, great opportunity to live the life I want and some pics of course.
 

zinc4

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
3,083
Reaction score
1,450
Blue shirt pic has to go...so does the one where u are smiling with glasses...you don't have good teeth so don't show them.in your pics....beanie cowboy pic is your best by far. You could pull on that pic alone.

Your description sucks....way too nice and serious.... Just be like....

I DJ at a local station....enough about me, let's talk about you. How well can you cook? Mexican cooking skills are a huge bonus.
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
Good job @zinc4 I was actually going to post advice similar to stuff you were providing and you got the jump on me by a few minutes. I decided your original post was good enough that I had nothing to add.
But yeah... Remember "quality over quantity". You do not need 6 pictures up, just pick a couple and make them your absolute best. I had women message me many times on POF because I posted just 2 pictures... One was literally done by a professional photographer I was wearing a tailored shirt and dress pants and I looked like some kind of Versache model in it. And the other was an adventure shot of me rock climbing which had me in a great pose against a incredible senic background of the earth hundreds of feet below me (looked like the cover of a National Geographic issue or something). I had women that obviously did not even take the time to read my profile messaging me just saying "you are cute" or just saying how cool the rock climbing photo was. Those were the two best photos I have ever go of me in my entire life.
That is your first priority, take a camera with you to Nashville and constantly take photographs and selfies it not only helps you remember your fun time there but it also can give you great material. Your photo is also a means of showing your person and personality because a picture is worth 1000 words. If you get great shots in Nashville it will communicate your passion for music, that you love to take fun trips, and that you love life. Women love a man who loves life.

Edit: Know this, dating online is more about marketing than it is about actual courtship. Think like a advertiser/salesman selling yourself to the woman.
An individual who knows how to market themselves with eye catching photos, and eloquent and interesting writing in their profile will attract attention. Similar to how a company effectively markets its products and services will stand out from the competition.
 
Last edited:

DJDeMarco

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
60
Reaction score
2
I need to deactivate my POF profile until I get the kinks worked out. Then, hit it big when I get everything prepared. Until then, I'll work on my IRL game.

My dentist has bragged on how good my teeth are. Not saying they're great, but that's the last thing I'd be insecure about.

Sounds like it's just a matter of me presenting myself as the guy a girl wants to be with, and less about my looks. As long as I stay in decent shape, should be about to attract more cute and young, or even hot women along the way.
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
1,635
Reaction score
101
Age
34
Honest to goodness, you are not very attractive...but you would be in a suit and tie. Think about it. When my first reaction to your profile is God, what an ugly man that is just me.

When that is EVERYBODY'S reaction, I would do someting, anything. We're all here because we want to help you not sugarcoat.
 

salinechow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2014
Messages
499
Reaction score
172
Location
NYC
A dentist and an orthodontist are going to have very different opinions on what good teeth are.

Who cares what either of them say though, its the woman's opinion that matters in this situation.
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
"...but you would be in a suit and tie"
Yes... A suit and tie may work. It shows power, financial security, influence, style, success in one's career. Women care about that kind of stuff. Try a picture in that. Take a videoshot of you in the best suit you have, get the best snapshot you have of that and posts it. Would be simple enough to do.

I mean... When quizzed on what they desired most women under 45 in NY their most common responses were a man who was over 6 ft, and high salary/earnings. Women care a lot about a man's financial situation so if you can portray an image of financial success it may be a good idea.
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
1,635
Reaction score
101
Age
34
"...but you would be in a suit and tie"
Yes... A suit and tie may work. It shows power, financial security, influence, style, success in one's career. Women care about that kind of stuff. Try a picture in that. Take a videoshot of you in the best suit you have, get the best snapshot you have of that and posts it. Would be simple enough to do.

I mean... When quizzed on what they desired most women under 45 in NY their most common responses were a man who was over 6 ft, and high salary/earnings. Women care a lot about a man's financial situation so if you can portray an image of financial success it may be a good idea.
Obviously with a face like that you need to project the best image you can, so I think a suit and a nice watch would go a long way to attracting women. I mean, let's be honest. You could even develop a sense of humor about it-that's sexy to women too.

Aim for what you can hit and you'll do great.
 

dustmuffin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
2,516
Reaction score
1,435
Age
61
These guys have hit the major stuff. Only thing I would change is your first date to coffee or drinks. Why would you want to feed a woman that you haven't had sex with? Always go as cheap as possible.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

DJDeMarco

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
60
Reaction score
2
I don't go around thinking I'm an ugly guy. I think I look decent, not great, and that I can eventually date cuter women. I work hard on keeping myself in shape and staying thinner.

Just doesn't seem right if there's a ceiling for what I can and can't do because of my looks. I'm not insecure at all about them.

Could it be my looks that are holding me back from finding more women that are attractive, or is other things as well? When I have girls that like me, I have no problems dating and having sex with them. Last girl I dated did whatever I wanted during sex.

Also, didn't change my profile at all and got a message from a cute girl over the weekend. lol
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
687
Reaction score
581
Age
36
Location
Norfolk
"Just doesn't seem right if there's a ceiling for what I can and can't do because of my looks."
^Yes, never limit yourself. Impossible is a big word used by small men to afraid to challenge the boundries of their own perceived limitations. I have seen dudes far far uglier than you pull hot b!tches so it can be done.

And got a cutie hitting you up? Hit back at her. You should still look into modifying your profile though as it can only improve your odds. Never be complacent... Always strive to do better...
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
1,635
Reaction score
101
Age
34
Just doesn't seem right if there's a ceiling for what I can and can't do because of my looks. I'm not insecure at all about them.
I don't think anyone is arguing that there's a ceiling for you. Ever seen "Rocky"? The point is, your face is not going to get any better, so improve other parts of yourself and lose the sweatshirt. -Darth
 

CuddleJunkie

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 9, 2015
Messages
785
Reaction score
587
Age
31
It was my first thought too, but we're overlooking two important things.
1. It is only in the first photo, the rest he looks normal, definetely not ugly.
2. We, as men, are always thinking through ugly/handsome categories, because that is what we apply at women. Women apply other categories.
Edit: also, love the "The secret to love is a similar zipcode". I actually had a laugh.
 
Last edited:

DJDeMarco

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
60
Reaction score
2
It was my first thought too, but we're overlooking two important things.
1. It is only in the first photo, the rest he looks normal, definetely not ugly.
2. We, as men, are always thinking through ugly/handsome categories, because that is what we apply at women. Women apply other categories.
Edit: also, love the "The secret to love is a similar zipcode". I actually had a laugh.
Thanks.
Darth: Yeah, the Rocky movies are awesome.
Asmodeus: Yes, I'll improve the profile with the advice I've been given here.

Appreciate it guys, This will help out my POF stuff, and also my writing, which needs a dose of humor and emotion.
 
Top