Painful date with a girl in her late 20s looking for a longterm at her terms

[Who Dares Win]

Met this girl on tinder, no pictures of her body or face just "artistic stuff", I got the match simply because I swipe right to all not to waste time reading profiles.

Exchanged numbers and talked to her, she seemed pleasable from her voice so decided to meet her in a public place for a cofee (low cost and easy drop).

She was good looking actually, I would say a 7, probably a 8 few years ago.

The conversation was quite boring but managed to keep it fluent by asking her open questions about her travels, we moved to a pub where we drunk and kept chatting, convinced her to go to a club where I have an agreement with the owner so I can take girls in the storage room to bang them.

I offer her a vodka shot just to warm her up and taste the waters, then comes the big red flag, I let my shoulders on the back of the sofa and she does not, I gently pull her down close to me and once my hands set her free she goes back up...I try to take her hand and she take it away first only to let it like a cold fish while near mine.

It never happened in my life to take a girl in a club to the sofa and had such reaction.

I asked her if she was uncomfortable and she wanted me to leave her alone (I was basically saying that I would have rather leave than staying with a cold fish) and she said she just "needs more time" cause she came out of an importat relation and the guy even gave her "the ring"... "he gave me the ring cant you see??" she said.

She said she was not looking for "any fun" but just for a serious relationship and nothing less, for anything physical it would have needed time probably months...

I told her I wanted to talk to her about it and it was too much of a serious talking for a club (actually I wanted to remove a potential problem from an environment which is my hunting field) so moved her to a fast food place, sit on a the table and let her pay the bill, actually made her stay in an other queue to see who can go fast, then when it was her turn I said I would have stay where I was cause it was almost my time as well, sorry if you aint putting anything, I aint putting anything either.

Had some brief talk while rapidly eating my food then told her it was a pleasure to meet her, she said the same then looked for me waiting for something else... ok let me go back home tomorrow I have a meal with my family was what she got.

Today after 4 days of radio silence she deleted our match from tinder.

Glad it didnt happen when I was 18, back then I would have probably fell for the trap.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You did the right thing. Everyone here should have zero tolerance for that bullsh*t. A woman setting terms and conditions for intimacy on a first date is a manipulative power play.

The same woman, who acts chaste to her 'boyfriend' or potential suitor, will give head to a stranger in a public toilet under different circumstances. I've been both these guys, and I know which I prefer.

The point is that we both know how to behave in such cases because as you said we've been both the men, the one considered safe port so forced to deal to her terms and the wild adventure that got the best of her in a moment of wilderness.

Most of the guys have been just the first one or worse yet not even that one, thats why they fall on the trap of letting her rule the game.

Anyway Im impressed how girls decent looking but still not top are so confident that guys will fall for their traps, I tought girls had a great ability to read people and tell the smart ones from the noobs, yet they seem to believe that anyone is a noob if they run "their game".

 

[wifehunter]

Slow down, beavis!

See: www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm

 

[wifehunter]

A woman setting terms and conditions for intimacy on a first date is a manipulative power play.

Or, maybe she has healthy boundaries?

And OP, crossed the line.

 

[El Payaso]

You tried to fvck her on the first date. Of course, she would be cold to you. Most girls would.

 

[AttackFormation]

Slow down, beavis!

See: www.sosuave.com/articles/at/persistence.htm

This is a crock of BS, which you can see in the beginning with the example. It starts with some guy wasting his time for months or years until she finally "gives in". Not only is this a waste of time in itself but of course something that you've laid so much time to achieving will be psychologically valuable to you - it's a self-fulfilling quest. This is a blue pill article based on a scarcity mindset. In 2016 you should make out and have the girl openly eager to see you again on the first date, or at least give you a warm kiss and smile as the minimum. She has had unprotected sex the first time she saw a guy at some party before, she has went to the toilet or behind the dumpster and given guys *******s after letting them touch her pvssy half an hour after they met, she fantasizes about when Ryan Gosling is going to come and play-rape her, but you are supposed to be a sucker who thinks he's a "Real Man". The views expressed in this article fundamentally devalue and shame men, while excusing and rationalizing the behaviours of women and putting them on the holy pedestal.

Let me debunk this piece of cr@p article point by point:

- He is using negative reinforcement to support his points by claiming that nexting girls who don't display high interest is something that "reeks of low confidence, a fragile ego, and fear.", in other words he is using shaming tactics like a woman. He also says that it's bad because you can't expect a woman you just met to have high interest in you. But we know scientifically and observationally that girls determine whether they want to f*ck you in the first few seconds of meeting you.

- He basically advocates playing games and passing her hoops. You should qualify yourself to be worthy of her by being a "Real Man" through game. This is purple pill game. Why should I waste my time doing that instead of what I could have been doing?

- A Don Juan who relies on confident persistence does not have options, because he is waiting on women to hand out the pvssy to him. A DJ who has good enough game to not talk himself out of women who wanted to have sex with him, spot the women who want to have sex and is efficient with his time, he has options.

- He finishes the article by using a fictional character as an example. Luke uses the force to destroy the Death Star too, I guess I should just start focusing really hard and I'll get all the women I want?

To be fair it seems to be copyrighted 1998? that would explain it. Modern game must not even have been born at that time. If you think the OP's situation can or could be saved with "confident persistence" - and even if it can that it's worth wasting your time over - you have a bad idea of good game.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Or, maybe she has healthy boundaries?

And OP, crossed the line.

Not even holding someone's hand or sit next to him looks like quite a strong boudary to me, in my experience its either manipulation through intimacy restriction or simply problems with intimacy.

You tried to fvck her on the first date. Of course, she would be cold to you. Most girls would.

I tried to have her sit next to me and hold her hand...she denied that...no fvcking wonder I dropped her, why?

Well if you cant even hold hand to someone you either find that person ugly as sin or you have problems with intimacy, either case thanks but no.

I mean I find the places, I take her around, paid couple of shots and she doesnt even find agreeable to sit close to me or let me hold her hand...what you call confident persistance guys, I call it lack of self respect.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

You weren't being a Don Juan.. You were trying to be a playa.. a failed playa, apparently.

That's the most blunt way I can put it to be honest. But however, part of you is on the right track.. It's just that you're too excited and she sensed your horny pervness with her female subtle senses... and immediately alarms started going off in her head... Her defenses pulled up and then you gave up.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You weren't being a Don Juan.. You were trying to be a playa.. a failed playa, apparently.

That's the most blunt way I can put it to be honest. But however, part of you is on the right track.. It's just that you're too excited and she sensed your horny pervness with her female subtle senses... and immediately alarms started going off in her head... Her defenses pulled up and then you gave up.

Of course a guy trying to taste the water for intimacy let alone sex is not a don juan, not even a playa in fact is a failed playa...let me guess I should have asked for a second date with the hope that she would have bother to sit next to me? or you believe such a hard demand requires at least four dates?

Guys no wonder girls treat you like trash and take advantage of you, if thats the way you deal with them they all get the right reinforcement for their behaviours.

My ex gf was a virgin when I met her, cant even remember how many weeks it needed for any sexual intimacy yet she liked me as a person and she respected me, from date one she was clearly showing affection and appreciatong with hugs and holding hand...I can clearly tell the difference from a serious girl going slow but interested and a b1tch playing tricks and manipulating to run the show.

If you believe a "don juan" or a real man need to take sh1t from women, you're getting all wrong and you're part of the problem with women nowadays...surely not "playas" who low the expectation bar down when it comes of stuff women can get for free.

If you had a single date in your life you would know that you gauge her interested level through her behaviour not her talkings or what you believe a disney fantasy should be.

 

[wifehunter]

Well, I can say this. She's definitely a challenge, but a challenge for someone else.

Some of us humans, don't like to get physical, too quickly. I'm the same way. We would like to get to know someone over time, before we start exchanging bodily fluids. Have some class!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Well, I can say this. She's definitely a challenge, but a challenge for someone else.

Some of us humans, don't like to get physical, too quickly. I'm the same way. We would like to get to know someone over time, before we start exchanging bodily fluids. Have some class!

I respect your opinion but surely Im not taking any suggestion from someone who call himself "wife hunter" there is so much afc white knight content subconsciouly hidden in such name that only by reading it someone could feel like buying flowers to a h00ker or marry the town slvt thinking she will change.

What you call class I would call some other way.

 

[El Payaso]

Not even holding someone's hand or sit next to him looks like quite a strong boudary to me, in my experience its either manipulation through intimacy restriction or simply problems with intimacy.




I tried to have her sit next to me and hold her hand...she denied that...no fvcking wonder I dropped her, why?

Well if you cant even hold hand to someone you either find that person ugly as sin or you have problems with intimacy, either case thanks but no.

I mean I find the places, I take her around, paid couple of shots and she doesnt even find agreeable to sit close to me or let me hold her hand...what you call confident persistance guys, I call it lack of self respect.

Oh no, don't get me wrong. You did good by nexting her. I'm just saying this is typical ASD to be expected. She's in her late 20's. She's definitely been around the block so she could see your moves and the outcome from a mile away.

The younger ones are more susceptible and more "adventurous". Late 20's are usually getting wiser and trying to lock down a man as quickly as possible. You have better chances with the younger ones.

 

[wifehunter]

I respect your opinion but surely Im not taking any suggestion from someone who call himself "wife hunter" there is so much afc white knight content subconsciouly hidden in such name that only by reading it someone could feel like buying flowers to a h00ker or marry the town slvt thinking she will change.

What you call class I would call some other way.

there's your problem... arrogance.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Oh no, don't get me wrong. You did good by nexting her. I'm just saying this is typical ASD to be expected. She's in her late 20's. She's definitely been around the block so she could see your moves and the outcome from a mile away.

The younger ones are more susceptible and more "adventurous". Late 20's are usually getting wiser and trying to lock down a man as quickly as possible. You have better chances with the younger ones.

Oh my bad, didnt catch your message clearly.

there's your problem... arrogance.

You're right, I get told it a lot of time especially from girls I have sex with...anyway what you call arrogance I call it "take no sh1t policy"

 

[wifehunter]

Oh my bad, didnt catch your message clearly.


You're right, I get told it a lot of time especially from girls I have sex with...anyway what you call arrogance I call it "take no sh1t policy"

I understand the take no sh1t, I get it... But to come off as too serious, with no sense of humor...

Arrogance is false confidence... they'll see it.

 

[wifehunter]

You are merely playing the game differently than we are. I would like to know what you would have done in this situation.

Yes, you are right.

I would have had respect for her boundaries and my own. I'm hands off, would not have initiated Kino, it complicates things... so does sex, which we all know, is the end of Kino, right? I would have kept having fun chatting/flirting, building rapport, and maintaining an unclouded objectivity. But, like you said, my game/goals are different, and tend to be a slower process. I figure, if you're going to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you need to be picky and careful. The last thing I need, is to be married to some wh0re/hag with VD.

 

[El Payaso]

The smart ones will kiss you on the first date though. They know the game well enough to understand the need for a hook. A woman that breaks into overt negotiations over sitting with a man has some serious issues. I've never even heard of that situation before.

Well, he should be glad the girl was really dumb. Besides, the really smart ones won't even kiss you on the first date. Remember that most women want to give as little as possible while receiving maximum benefits. The really smart ones will want to get you jumping through hoops for them without even kissing you or using a hook.

I've been in OP's shoes before and what's even weirder was this was the third date and the girl pulled the same thing that OP's girl did. I dropped her off home and never contacted her again. I'm sure there's some schmuck out there who would cave to her demands. It just wasn't going to be me.

 

[Mot1veProgress]

Of course a guy trying to taste the water for intimacy let alone sex is not a don juan, not even a playa in fact is a failed playa...let me guess I should have asked for a second date with the hope that she would have bother to sit next to me? or you believe such a hard demand requires at least four dates?

Guys no wonder girls treat you like trash and take advantage of you, if thats the way you deal with them they all get the right reinforcement for their behaviours.

My ex gf was a virgin when I met her, cant even remember how many weeks it needed for any sexual intimacy yet she liked me as a person and she respected me, from date one she was clearly showing affection and appreciatong with hugs and holding hand...I can clearly tell the difference from a serious girl going slow but interested and a b1tch playing tricks and manipulating to run the show.

If you believe a "don juan" or a real man need to take sh1t from women, you're getting all wrong and you're part of the problem with women nowadays...surely not "playas" who low the expectation bar down when it comes of stuff women can get for free.

If you had a single date in your life you would know that you gauge her interested level through her behaviour not her talkings or what you believe a disney fantasy should be.

You'll not find one thread from me where a girl has ever taken advantage of me... You failed, like it or not. Now don't get upset and take it out on people on the forum.. Learn the game better.. and learn that every girl is not going to bust down for you right away.. just for you to give up, then go online and complain about it and ask advice.

If you never had to pry a girl with a couple dates to get the puss, your game is super young.... or your game is comprised 100% of tinder dates..

I dont even use Tinder..and I cycle through my fwb's.. got a good 6 diff bitches i juggle while I work on 3-4 new ones every month

 

[Mot1veProgress]

It's bad enough you had to force her to lay back no the sofa with you physically before she decided "wow this guy is a horny creep".

If you have to force a girl to get comfortable with you, time to set the ego aside and man up and accept the fact that you don't know women as well as you thought you did. I know plenty of dudes like you.. Smashed a couple chicks on tinder, and think now every girl is just as easy..

 

[Igetit!]

You tried to fvck her on the first date. Of course, she would be cold to you. Most girls would.

Exactly what I was thinking.

The conversation was quite boring but managed to keep it fluent by asking her open questions about her travels, we moved to a pub where we drunk and kept chatting, convinced her to go to a club where I have an agreement with the owner so I can take girls in the storage room to bang them.

Ok,just a quick question here......

I was just wondering.....HOW LONG WAS IT from the time you two first met and laid eyes on each other,til you got her in this "storage" room where you "bang" chicks? How much time passed by?

I offer her a vodka shot just to warm her up and taste the waters, then comes the big red flag, I let my shoulders on the back of the sofa and she does not,

Huh. So your idea of testing the waters is to lay down on your back,expecting the chick to lay down with you...

Wow. I thought testing the waters was just going for the kiss,maybe a little advanced kino (boob touching/azz groping).
You got in a sexual position.

I gently pull her down close to me and once my hands set her free she goes back up...I try to take her hand and she take it away first only to let it like a cold fish while near mine.

It never happened in my life to take a girl in a club to the sofa and had such reaction.

I asked her if she was uncomfortable and she wanted me to leave her alone (I was basically saying that I would have rather leave than staying with a cold fish) and she said she just "needs more time" cause she came out of an importat relation and the guy even gave her "the ring"... "he gave me the ring cant you see??" she said.

Honestly.....it just seems like you moved too fast. I mean not only did you expect a chick you never met before to have sex with you what...an hour or two after first meeting each other,but in some strange place she's never been before? In a STORAGE room? Seriously?

She said she was not looking for "any fun" but just for a serious relationship and nothing less, for anything physical it would have needed time probably months...

I guess....personally I don't believe her. Not about wanting a relationship,but bout the whole "needing months" for things to get physical. I think she said it to MAKE YOU get not interested so she could leave.

I think she would have said anything to get out of that uncomfortable situation.