Ex back in her life - thinking of ending it

[jc_80]

Been dating her for 5 months and exclusive for 2. Her husband left her to marry another woman 4 years ago and took the dog. He cut contact to respect his new wife.
Now he's getting a divorce and his wife is apparently going bat **** crazy on him and made phony abuse complaints.
So he and his mom have contacted my girlfriend and said she can come visit and see the dog now.
I don't really think my girlfriend would cheat on me or leave me for this guy. But I just dont want a relationship where I have to deal with this ****. And all over a ****ing dog.
I told her this and she's begging me to trust her. I didn't give her an ultimatum or tell her not to see her dog or talk to him. If she wants to see her dog then whatever. I just said what I'm saying here. It's really not about trust. I just want a relationship that's ex free.

Any thoughts?

 

[dustmuffin]

I think you did well. Its about respect.

 

[speed dawg]

If she goes, I'd end it. But you have to understand that there is nothing YOU can do to convince her to do anything. You can only control your own actions. My senses tell me you are being too needy anyways, for it to even get to this point. Back off, go do your own thing, tell her to do whatever she wants. If she does it, with-hold your attention from her. Easier said than done, yes - but it's the only right way to go about this.

I wouldn't even talk about it with her. You'll know where she stands by her actions.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Been dating her for 5 months and exclusive for 2. Her husband left her to marry another woman 4 years ago and took the dog. He cut contact to respect his new wife.
Now he's getting a divorce and his wife is apparently going bat **** crazy on him and made phony abuse complaints.
So he and his mom have contacted my girlfriend and said she can come visit and see the dog now.
I don't really think my girlfriend would cheat on me or leave me for this guy. But I just dont want a relationship where I have to deal with this ****. And all over a ****ing dog.
I told her this and she's begging me to trust her. I didn't give her an ultimatum or tell her not to see her dog or talk to him. If she wants to see her dog then whatever. I just said what I'm saying here. It's really not about trust. I just want a relationship that's ex free.

Any thoughts?

All this because of a dog? Pointless.

Stand your ground. As others have said, if she goes to see him you'll know where she stands.

This isn't an ultimatum situation, but a situation for you to assert your dominance and exert control over who's who in the relationship.

If she goes, it'll show she doesn't respect your stance enough to obey it. That's a very blatant act of defiance and will only set a precedent for the future.

Divert your attention away from her if she does go. Cause - Effect.

If you don't stand firm in the small things, she'll walk all over you in the bigger ones.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Sometimes pets are people's kids, just check out this video:

I agree with 9JuanJuan. While I would not like to be in the OP situation and I would probably tell her, pets are extremly importante for some people, so it'ts not "all this for a dog".
OP, its up to you to determine how importante this dog is for your gf, and to decide if its only an excuse.

 

[dustmuffin]

Been dating her for 5 months and exclusive for 2. Her husband left her to marry another woman 4 years ago and took the dog. He cut contact to respect his new wife.
Now he's getting a divorce and his wife is apparently going bat **** crazy on him and made phony abuse complaints.
So he and his mom have contacted my girlfriend and said she can come visit and see the dog now.
I don't really think my girlfriend would cheat on me or leave me for this guy. But I just dont want a relationship where I have to deal with this ****. And all over a ****ing dog.
I told her this and she's begging me to trust her. I didn't give her an ultimatum or tell her not to see her dog or talk to him. If she wants to see her dog then whatever. I just said what I'm saying here. It's really not about trust. I just want a relationship that's ex free.

Any thoughts?

You two could go over together and pick up the dog and take it to a dog park. Then drop it off.

 

[jc_80]

If she goes, I'd end it. But you have to understand that there is nothing YOU can do to convince her to do anything. You can only control your own actions. My senses tell me you are being too needy anyways, for it to even get to this point. Back off, go do your own thing, tell her to do whatever she wants. If she does it, with-hold your attention from her. Easier said than done, yes - but it's the only right way to go about this.

I wouldn't even talk about it with her. You'll know where she stands by her actions.

Nah, she's the needy one. I've been accused many times for being distant. She's too forgiving of people who have wronged her. Her best friend had an affair with her husband and she still calls her a best friend.

 

[jc_80]

Sometimes pets are people's kids, just check out this video:

Understandable. I went through this with my divorce and dog. I let her have the dog because she went back to her parents' house that had a big yard, and I was living in the city and working a lot. She's a farm type dog.
I just don't want to deal with situations like these. I stay away from single moms and divorced moms for these reasons now. One of the reasons I started a relationship with this chick is because there were no exes and no ties. Now there is and its because of a dog. I've had too many bad experiences by being on different sides of this thing. I don't even know my own daughter because of it.
There are many women who don't ha e these ties to exes. Why not find one?

 

[Desdinova]

I agree with 9JuanJuan. While I would not like to be in the OP situation and I would probably tell her, pets are extremly importante for some people, so it'ts not "all this for a dog".
OP, its up to you to determine how importante this dog is for your gf, and to decide if its only an excuse.

WTF??? Are you guys serious with this 5hit?

Pets are important in the present tense. It's no longer her dog, but his. Pets ARE replaceable and she can get another one. If she keeps going this route, then you go can get another GF because those are replaceable too.

It's not a trust issue. It's a respect issue.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

WTF??? Are you guys serious with this 5hit?

Pets are important in the present tense. It's no longer her dog, but his. Pets ARE replaceable and she can get another one. If she keeps going this route, then you go can get another GF because those are replaceable too.

It's not a trust issue. It's a respect issue.

I understand what you are saying, but at the same time I would like to see my dog again some time, and it is with my ex. So maybe I'm not being rational in this one, because I agree with the meeting not being ok but at the same time I can understand her wanting to see the dog.

 

[Ronaldo7]

I understand what you are saying, but at the same time I would like to see my dog again some time, and it is with my ex. So maybe I'm not being rational in this one, because I agree with the meeting not being ok but at the same time I can understand her wanting to see the dog.

For Christ's sake, it is just a dog.

How sad must an individual's life be to place his/her sanity on a DOG?

Establish rational priorities and move on.

Time to become a rational individual.

 

[Julian]

dude its over. her and her husband have a connection too strong. shes gonna look at fukking him like its nothing because hell they were married! dump this sloot

 

[Bible_Belt]

She should ask you to go with her. Then you should go and be friendly and polite, and she should tolerate nothing but the same from her ex-husband. That's how adults behave.

 

[jc_80]

She should ask you to go with her. Then you should go and be friendly and polite, and she should tolerate nothing but the same from her ex-husband. That's how adults behave.

She suggested I go with her. Like I said im not seeing this as a threat, more so as a nuisance I'm tired of dealing with. I just want a relationship that doesn't drag **** from the past into it.

 

[sodbuster]

The best friend who slept with her husband is STILL a friend? She'll forgive him too. They will be boning before long..... IF she goes there.

Since I'm allergic to pet dander, I don't date a woman with pets. I tell them upfront that if it gets serious, the pet isn't moving in. Some think puzzy will change my mind. Some don't date me, then I see them whining about "lonely" on FB.... Like my brother said, kids will grow up and move out, but she'll always have a damn dog

 

[jc_80]

Now she texted saying that she won't see him or talk to him even if it means not seeing her dog.
I think I'm done. Too late. That I even had to deal with this at all is a major turn off to me. I shouldn't be put in a situation where I feel like I'm controlling somebody. Id rather be with someone with enough common sense to have said "I've moved on".

 

[esev8]

It is a weird situation not sure how I would handle it maybe tell her to forget about it, and that you could get a new puppy together?

 

[Desdinova]

Now she texted saying that she won't see him or talk to him even if it means not seeing her dog.
I think I'm done. Too late. That I even had to deal with this at all is a major turn off to me. I shouldn't be put in a situation where I feel like I'm controlling somebody. Id rather be with someone with enough common sense to have said "I've moved on".

"Woman" and "common sense" don't belong in the same sentence together. If you don't steer her in the correct direction, she will drive all over the Fvcking road looking for her destination, even if it's in a different state.

 

[dustmuffin]

Now she texted saying that she won't see him or talk to him even if it means not seeing her dog.
I think I'm done. Too late. That I even had to deal with this at all is a major turn off to me. I shouldn't be put in a situation where I feel like I'm controlling somebody. Id rather be with someone with enough common sense to have said "I've moved on".

Women seldom have common sense. She made the decision.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Do what you want, it's your life. For what it's worth, I don't think she did anything wrong at all.