Confession........Oneitus

[bunjy]

I confess..................Ive got oneitus (a bit).

Ok Id been spinning this plate for about 3 months. She seemed cool and was fun hanging out with her. About a month ago she asked me to become exclusive. I agreed and ditched all my other plates (including a smoking hot AW lol). Anyway since then we've had a great time together and seen each other about 5 times a week (I know I know, too much). She told me she loves me after two weeks and has shown me lots of attention.

Suddenly last week she starts going cold on me, not texting back, coming up with excuses why she cant see me. We've not seen each other for 5 days. Im pretty sure Im about to get dumped. Ive stopped initiating texts and am mentally preparing for it.

So any advice?? Of course Ive been dumped before but Im disappointed with myself for falling for her when I should have kept my head level.

As it stands now she is still initiating contact, I reply then get a response a long time later (about 5 hours). As of today Im not going to even reply. Any other tips on what I can do to get over this? I ditched all my other plates when we became exclusive so got no women to hook up with as it stands.

I admit how terrible it is of me to be in this situation but I really thought this was going somewhere.

 

[dustmuffin]

I confess..................Ive got oneitus (a bit).

Ok Id been spinning this plate for about 3 months. She seemed cool and was fun hanging out with her. About a month ago she asked me to become exclusive. I agreed and ditched all my other plates (including a smoking hot AW lol). Anyway since then we've had a great time together and seen each other about 5 times a week (I know I know, too much). She told me she loves me after two weeks and has shown me lots of attention.

Suddenly last week she starts going cold on me, not texting back, coming up with excuses why she cant see me. We've not seen each other for 5 days. Im pretty sure Im about to get dumped. Ive stopped initiating texts and am mentally preparing for it.

So any advice?? Of course Ive been dumped before but Im disappointed with myself for falling for her when I should have kept my head level.

As it stands now she is still initiating contact, I reply then get a response a long time later (about 5 hours). As of today Im not going to even reply. Any other tips on what I can do to get over this? I ditched all my other plates when we became exclusive so got no women to hook up with as it stands.

I admit how terrible it is of me to be in this situation but I really thought this was going somewhere.

Dump her now! Strike first!

 

[Alvafe]

I confess..................Ive got oneitus (a bit).

Ok Id been spinning this plate for about 3 months. She seemed cool and was fun hanging out with her. About a month ago she asked me to become exclusive. I agreed and ditched all my other plates (including a smoking hot AW lol). Anyway since then we've had a great time together and seen each other about 5 times a week (I know I know, too much). She told me she loves me after two weeks and has shown me lots of attention.

Suddenly last week she starts going cold on me, not texting back, coming up with excuses why she cant see me. We've not seen each other for 5 days. Im pretty sure Im about to get dumped. Ive stopped initiating texts and am mentally preparing for it.

So any advice?? Of course Ive been dumped before but Im disappointed with myself for falling for her when I should have kept my head level.

As it stands now she is still initiating contact, I reply then get a response a long time later (about 5 hours). As of today Im not going to even reply. Any other tips on what I can do to get over this? I ditched all my other plates when we became exclusive so got no women to hook up with as it stands.

I admit how terrible it is of me to be in this situation but I really thought this was going somewhere.

2 choices, preemptive break up and start to rebuild the plates, or wait to see what will happen

more importantly is you learn from this

 

[TheSplat]

Play the jealousy card. Start filling your time without her.

 

[Berom]

I agree with Dustmuffin. Seems like you lost your power. NEXT her before she nexts you.

 

[Romjuan]

Dump her now! Strike first!

As crazy as it sounds, THIS is the best course of action whether you want to get her back or move on. The issue youre having is value. Right now if shes going cold on you, she does not have high value in you. The only way to raise your value to her is Scarcity. You put the ball in your court, make the move of breaking it off with her.

 

[bunjy]

So she hasnt dumped me. Shes alternating between hot and cold. One day shes telling me she loves me, the next shes not contacting me. We went out the other night and she seems still interested, I cant tell there is still a spark between us and she still likes me.

But, im pretty sure another guy is in the picture. She has this new dude she keeps going out with. Shes telling me hes just a friend.

I dont want to outright dump her but at the same time I feel like she might be keeping me around incase things dont work with this other guy.

Maybe I should back way off l and see what happens.

 

[Captain Jack]

Sounds like too much work to me. I say mentally break it off and just stop contacting her. Treat her as if she's dead. Mourn the loss and move on. If you do this, she'll come back. They always do (not that I'm encouraging you to take her back).

 

[bunjy]

Sounds like too much work to me. I say mentally break it off and just stop contacting her. Treat her as if she's dead. Mourn the loss and move on. If you do this, she'll come back. They always do (not that I'm encouraging you to take her back).

Yeah. Thats what im thinking. Just break it off mentally and stop contacting her.

It is hard work at the moment and I feel like shes playing me a bit.

 

[Captain Jack]

Yeah. Thats what im thinking. Just break it off mentally and stop contacting her.

It is hard work at the moment and I feel like shes playing me a bit.

She probably is.

But it'll feel worse if you let it get to you.

Personally, I wouldn't do anything. No games. Nothing. Just dead it and move on. If she contacts you, don't even respond. F*ck that B*tch.

 

[boxing_chanp]

The single most effective technique to deal with women like this is to disappear. Don't call or text her. Don't return any texts and just be quiet. Women know what they're doing. If she's going cold on you, return the favor. Not too much eats at a woman more than not having closure. I guarantee her mind will be racing about why you never reacted to her nonsense. Good luck brother.

 

[Desdinova]

She has this new dude she keeps going out with. Shes telling me hes just a friend.

And that's where the rest of her energy is going.

Women who are respectful toward the man they're exclusive with don't form new friendships with other men, or they at least have the decency of asking you about it if they're unsure about where you stand on the issue. This chick does NOT respect you if she hasn't at least asked about your thoughts on him.

She's not worth investing any more time and energy into. Tell her that her and the new guy would make a great couple, and you're going to find someone who's going to be more respectful toward you. Then end it, cut her off, and move on. Ignore all her attempts to contact.

Us men shouldn't be putting up with this 5hit.

 

[bunjy]

And that's where the rest of her energy is going.

Women who are respectful toward the man they're exclusive with don't form new friendships with other men, or they at least have the decency of asking you about it if they're unsure about where you stand on the issue. This chick does NOT respect you if she hasn't at least asked about your thoughts on him.

She's not worth investing any more time and energy into. Tell her that her and the new guy would make a great couple, and you're going to find someone who's going to be more respectful toward you. Then end it, cut her off, and move on. Ignore all her attempts to contact.

Us men shouldn't be putting up with this 5hit.

Yeah. Its it completely disrespectful what shes doing, Ive more and more come to realise this now. Her games are pure nonsense for example, today shes sending me meme picture texts saying about how crazy she is for me. WTF is that all about. Shes clearly backed away and not putting any real effort in but still persists with things like this.

The age old truth that women who are interested dont confuse you seems very pertinent in this instance.

Ive not responded. Im disappointed in myself for allowing myself to fall for this chick when in the past I would have seen right through her games. Ive slipped.

 

[bunjy]

The single most effective technique to deal with women like this is to disappear. Don't call or text her. Don't return any texts and just be quiet. Women know what they're doing. If she's going cold on you, return the favor. Not too much eats at a woman more than not having closure. I guarantee her mind will be racing about why you never reacted to her nonsense. Good luck brother.

This does absolutely seem like the best course of action. I have stopped initiating and responding as much but she then resorts to asking me 'Is everything ok?' and stuff like 'Are we still good?'. To which I respond with 'Yeah Ive just been busy'. Then the cycle starts again. Its been like this for a couple of weeks now.

I totally admit though I have still been making something of an effort and have been available too much recently. We've not got any meetups planned as of now.

Im pretty sure If I do to her what she has been doing to me she'll be blowing up my phone.

 

[dustmuffin]

This does absolutely seem like the best course of action. I have stopped initiating and responding as much but she then resorts to asking me 'Is everything ok?' and stuff like 'Are we still good?'. To which I respond with 'Yeah Ive just been busy'. Then the cycle starts again. Its been like this for a couple of weeks now.

I totally admit though I have still been making something of an effort and have been available too much recently. We've not got any meetups planned as of now.

Im pretty sure If I do to her what she has been doing to me she'll be blowing up my phone.

Just dump her and be done with it. Stop analizing. Its what's best for you. Mixed signals mean no.

 

[bunjy]

Thought Id post an update.

So I took on board the great advice I got here and basically dumped her. Not formally, but I just stopped contacting her completely. After about 3 days she texts me an angry text asking why Ive not been in touch. I ignore.

A few days later she sends me a long ranting text saying al this crap about 'me not making any effort any more etc' and how she thinks we should 'end it'. I text back agreeing. Done. I start getting back in the game and spinning plates whilst re-engaging with some older plates.

Shes still trying to contact me and fishing for attention but Im just ignoring her now.

Its bizarre how she was the one who pulled away/went cold yet when I do the same she freaks out. It almost like shes completely unaware of whats actually happened e.g. she blew her chance with me.

 

[Glumix]

It almost like shes completely unaware of whats actually happened e.g. she blew her chance with me.

She was totaly aware of what she was doing. She was just absolutely sure you wouldn't have the balls to get rid of her. You showed her wrong. Good job!

But the real mistakes probably preceed those events. You showed her you had no balls at some point in the relationship. I suggest your rebuild your frame and make it solid.

 

[bunjy]

She was totaly aware of what she was doing. She was just absolutely sure you wouldn't have the balls to get rid of her. You showed her wrong. Good job!

But the real mistakes probably preceed those events. You showed her you had no balls at some point in the relationship. I suggest your rebuild your frame and make it solid.

Yeah I figured that was the case. Shes trying now to contact me fairly regularly. Ive not responded at all.

My mistake was buying into her nonsense really and being too interested. She seems like sort of chick who knows how to make a guy fall for her. She was telling one thing whilst doing another. The irony was it was her who pulled away from me so I followed suit then when she got angry she totally blamed it all on me saying I had been 'very distant'.

Im dont think Im going to bother with her again. She'll hopefully get tired of contacting me and getting no response. I do think shes not used to this sort of behaviour and feels somewhat wounded.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

She sounds like an insecure AW. She got her play method trumped, by you. She can't deal with it. However a small word in your ear if I may - even though this will make you feel good, try not to dwell on the glee you are experiencing.

That emotion still has buy in from you. Not good. Be clinical. You've done what you needed to do, you came out on top, saved yourself a bunch of other blah blah crap and can move on.

I guarantee she's not in the same spot.

 

[RangerMIke]

You handled it like a man, good for you. The fact you were not happy is all you needed to get rid of her. Women are supposed to be fun, if she isn't fun anymore then you have to move on, it really is that simple. Next time you'll do a better job of spotting this sort of flaky behavior in women before you get hooked.

What you should have learned:

(1) A woman who says she loves you after only dating for two weeks is WAY too soon. Well adjusted normal women take a month and a half to two months to get to that point.

(2) You were seeing her too much too soon. Five times a week I think you know is excessive.

(3) Don't put up with women or any friends for that matter that make you work too hard. Real men do not tolerate drama in their lives.