Guys before I begin, I keep seeing threads of guys being afraid of being placed in the friendzone. First of all, NO ONE puts you in the friendzone but YOURSELF. Women are not responsible for it, so stop blaming them. We all make mistakes when it comes with women, if we didn't then we wouldn't be on here however because of women becoming less patient and more heady (overthinking), we have to strategize quickly and effectively to rebound if we want to stay in the game. I will give you an example of a woman that I recently screwed up with but then quickly rebound by putting her in the friendzone.
I recently posted a thread about a girl I went out with after 2 hangouts ("dates"):
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?posts/2287848/
This girl was great, she's young, had less baggage then most (besides the ex boyfriend) and wants a man to be a MAN, take control and provide direction. It was going great, I gave her space, she did most of the contacting and yet confused about my feelings but then it came all crashing down after I made a bad move, acting like a boyfriend (read below) .
We had just went out on our 3rd date and it was a hit, I left the next day and she reached out to me asking to see me again. She lives 2 hrs west from me and since I was going to be in the area in 2 days (after the hang out), I offered that day and she agreed. Did I make a wrong move? yes and no, I had already of last encounter on a high note and I wasn't going out of my way to see her. Anyways, saw her two weeks ago on a Friday and again things went great, stayed the night (once again) and was even offered to go tailgating with her the next morning after she said "I would like to invite you to tailgating but i've offered before and you kept telling me that you'll let me know". The reason I kept saying "i'll let you know" is that I didn't want to set a date on a date, not only that I wanted it to be on MY terms, NOT hers. Since we went out 4 times, I accepted it and went tailgating with her. Was it a wrong move? Yes and no, some will say I should of waited another week, yeah probably but I don't think it was the breaking point. At this time we had already hooked up, she kept getting closer to me yet soon I would realize she was trying to solve the puzzle.
Heres what I did wrong: After tailgating I was suppose to go home, I ended up leaving but I knew she was sick. I had plans to see my friends however as I was driving I felt bad she had the flu so I called to see how she was feeling, she felt horrible so I offered to go back and take care of her, she liked the idea and so I did. I gave her OJ, tea and a few things to make her feel better. She was starting be a brat and I called her out for it. I bet as you're reading this you are shaking your head.. I was ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND. The girl just got out of a relationship and I was making my own without even knowing it.. sigh.
After I left the next morning and I noticed she became distant, I realized at that time I made a bad move. Her texts were shorter, she wasn't excited anymore.. you know where I am going with this. I made a decision to give her space however she would send me picture messages of random things just to get attention, she would make comments about my "other" girls..etc. I could tell she was still interested but cold. During this time I am hooking up with other women and shes sending drunk texts. Last friday she revealed that she misses her ex boyfriend, we hung out too many times and she felt it was too much of a relationship. She gave me the classic line "I am not looking for a relationship right now". I knew it.. however I had to stay calm and watch my ego, no asking questions or saying sorry. I should of did a once a week date especially when the girl is fresh out of a relationship. This is when I said "Sure, it sounds like you need some space and I understand. I sense you were overwhelmed and things were moving a little too fast so I think its best we be friends for now" then I told her I gotta go and done.
During the weekend she drunk text me saying all she was thinking about was me, how her girlfriends tell her she should stay away from me because i am 5 years older then her. She tells me how confused she is about the whole situation. Still she wanted me to stay the night with her and i replied "I understand what you are going through but I just don't think you are ready, I am happy that we can still be friends and you can take all the time you need to become less confused then when you're ready, hit me up. i'll see where I am at and if im still interested". She agreed. Sunday she tells me she had a dream about me and all these girls that were chasing me, I laughed and told her I didn't know she gets jealous about her dreams. I ended the conversation and done.
Tuesday (yesterdayl, I was in town for work. Instead of asking her to hang out, I purposely posted a picture of the town I was in on social media. She text me snarky asking if I was hanging out with my other girlfriend in town. Sarcastically I said yes, I would of invited you but I knew you needed your time and space lol. Still, she kept being snarky and jealous of other girls. Finally I asked her "Are you ready to be friends yet?", she responded "Yes, come over and hang out". So I did, we hung out and she told up front that I couldn't stay the night, I laughed and replied that I couldn't anyways and besides who said I wanted to stay? We talked alittle bit about what had happened and she told me things were just moving too fast and I was cool with it. She tried testing me about how I felt about her missing her ex and the guys she was hanging out with, I didn't give her the reaction she was looking for. She then told me how her ex was awful to her and she told him she misses him (thanks ex). She kept hugging me, I kept raising the sexual tension then pulling it away, I looked and felt comfortable but she wasnt. After several attempts on trying to leave, I finally left as she was walking me out, she was jealous of other girls (who isnt) and wanted to know where I am going next, I laughed and asked if she was my mother. She continued to say how she wishes she knew what kind of guy I am but I responded, that the whole point of getting to know eachother. As I was leaving she said "I am not done with you", I told her you have 2 minutes then I am leaving. She wanted to kiss me, I could tell and I kept staying back. She said I am not reading her right and I said to tell me what she wanted, she gave me the look and said "what we did last week". I knew she wanted a kiss so I said "are you asking to kiss me?", she refused but I said okay but i can tell by your blushing and biting your lip. She was being stubborn so I told her to get over here and she can give me one kiss, boom done.
Just because I put her in the friendzone and got her to move towards me by kissing me doesn't mean I won. Everything is back to square one, the beginning. This time she needs to invest more time in moving towards such as asking to see me. I am not going to offer to hang out with her ATLEAST in 2 weeks.
After the kiss she thought we were gonna hang out next week and told me that she had a very busy week without asking. She basically thought we were back to seeing eachother...nope, this is a whole new level. Shes going to get her space again and shes going to have to reach out to me, if she doesnt in 5-7 days then i'll reach out but not make any plans. Like most women, her head is telling her no but her body is saying yes.
Thats how its done.
I recently posted a thread about a girl I went out with after 2 hangouts ("dates"):
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?posts/2287848/
This girl was great, she's young, had less baggage then most (besides the ex boyfriend) and wants a man to be a MAN, take control and provide direction. It was going great, I gave her space, she did most of the contacting and yet confused about my feelings but then it came all crashing down after I made a bad move, acting like a boyfriend (read below) .
We had just went out on our 3rd date and it was a hit, I left the next day and she reached out to me asking to see me again. She lives 2 hrs west from me and since I was going to be in the area in 2 days (after the hang out), I offered that day and she agreed. Did I make a wrong move? yes and no, I had already of last encounter on a high note and I wasn't going out of my way to see her. Anyways, saw her two weeks ago on a Friday and again things went great, stayed the night (once again) and was even offered to go tailgating with her the next morning after she said "I would like to invite you to tailgating but i've offered before and you kept telling me that you'll let me know". The reason I kept saying "i'll let you know" is that I didn't want to set a date on a date, not only that I wanted it to be on MY terms, NOT hers. Since we went out 4 times, I accepted it and went tailgating with her. Was it a wrong move? Yes and no, some will say I should of waited another week, yeah probably but I don't think it was the breaking point. At this time we had already hooked up, she kept getting closer to me yet soon I would realize she was trying to solve the puzzle.
Heres what I did wrong: After tailgating I was suppose to go home, I ended up leaving but I knew she was sick. I had plans to see my friends however as I was driving I felt bad she had the flu so I called to see how she was feeling, she felt horrible so I offered to go back and take care of her, she liked the idea and so I did. I gave her OJ, tea and a few things to make her feel better. She was starting be a brat and I called her out for it. I bet as you're reading this you are shaking your head.. I was ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND. The girl just got out of a relationship and I was making my own without even knowing it.. sigh.
After I left the next morning and I noticed she became distant, I realized at that time I made a bad move. Her texts were shorter, she wasn't excited anymore.. you know where I am going with this. I made a decision to give her space however she would send me picture messages of random things just to get attention, she would make comments about my "other" girls..etc. I could tell she was still interested but cold. During this time I am hooking up with other women and shes sending drunk texts. Last friday she revealed that she misses her ex boyfriend, we hung out too many times and she felt it was too much of a relationship. She gave me the classic line "I am not looking for a relationship right now". I knew it.. however I had to stay calm and watch my ego, no asking questions or saying sorry. I should of did a once a week date especially when the girl is fresh out of a relationship. This is when I said "Sure, it sounds like you need some space and I understand. I sense you were overwhelmed and things were moving a little too fast so I think its best we be friends for now" then I told her I gotta go and done.
During the weekend she drunk text me saying all she was thinking about was me, how her girlfriends tell her she should stay away from me because i am 5 years older then her. She tells me how confused she is about the whole situation. Still she wanted me to stay the night with her and i replied "I understand what you are going through but I just don't think you are ready, I am happy that we can still be friends and you can take all the time you need to become less confused then when you're ready, hit me up. i'll see where I am at and if im still interested". She agreed. Sunday she tells me she had a dream about me and all these girls that were chasing me, I laughed and told her I didn't know she gets jealous about her dreams. I ended the conversation and done.
Tuesday (yesterdayl, I was in town for work. Instead of asking her to hang out, I purposely posted a picture of the town I was in on social media. She text me snarky asking if I was hanging out with my other girlfriend in town. Sarcastically I said yes, I would of invited you but I knew you needed your time and space lol. Still, she kept being snarky and jealous of other girls. Finally I asked her "Are you ready to be friends yet?", she responded "Yes, come over and hang out". So I did, we hung out and she told up front that I couldn't stay the night, I laughed and replied that I couldn't anyways and besides who said I wanted to stay? We talked alittle bit about what had happened and she told me things were just moving too fast and I was cool with it. She tried testing me about how I felt about her missing her ex and the guys she was hanging out with, I didn't give her the reaction she was looking for. She then told me how her ex was awful to her and she told him she misses him (thanks ex). She kept hugging me, I kept raising the sexual tension then pulling it away, I looked and felt comfortable but she wasnt. After several attempts on trying to leave, I finally left as she was walking me out, she was jealous of other girls (who isnt) and wanted to know where I am going next, I laughed and asked if she was my mother. She continued to say how she wishes she knew what kind of guy I am but I responded, that the whole point of getting to know eachother. As I was leaving she said "I am not done with you", I told her you have 2 minutes then I am leaving. She wanted to kiss me, I could tell and I kept staying back. She said I am not reading her right and I said to tell me what she wanted, she gave me the look and said "what we did last week". I knew she wanted a kiss so I said "are you asking to kiss me?", she refused but I said okay but i can tell by your blushing and biting your lip. She was being stubborn so I told her to get over here and she can give me one kiss, boom done.
Just because I put her in the friendzone and got her to move towards me by kissing me doesn't mean I won. Everything is back to square one, the beginning. This time she needs to invest more time in moving towards such as asking to see me. I am not going to offer to hang out with her ATLEAST in 2 weeks.
After the kiss she thought we were gonna hang out next week and told me that she had a very busy week without asking. She basically thought we were back to seeing eachother...nope, this is a whole new level. Shes going to get her space again and shes going to have to reach out to me, if she doesnt in 5-7 days then i'll reach out but not make any plans. Like most women, her head is telling her no but her body is saying yes.
Thats how its done.
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