zinc4 said:
I'm usually not one for playing games...
I just wanted to point this out because many guys, myself included when I first started dating, get brainwashed into thinking that any tactics they may use to try and attract a woman are considered "playing games" and are, therefore, dishonest and shouldn't be used.
However, this is far from the truth. In reality, it's not about "playing games;" rather, it's about understanding that the pacing at which you go from not knowing a girl to being in a relationship with her matters, and that doing things too quickly can ruin her growing attraction to you.
The most famous example, of course, is the question of "how many days do you wait between dates to call and set up the next one?" Guys that are not that dating savvy will tell you that waiting longer than a day to call her is "playing games" and will cause the girl to lose interest. If you ask them why they consider it game playing, they'll logically rationalize that if a girl is showing signals of interest on date one, she must (a) be communicated with constantly, (b) have assurance from him that he has like for her, and (c) get taken out by him again as soon as possible. Not doing these things, they believe, will result in her losing interest because she'll see him as a "player" and someone who's using "games" to try and win her over.
However, these guys are looking into the actions being done as "game," instead of having an understanding of why these actions are taken in the first place. For example: when dating a new girl, I take her out, show her a good time, then wait 4 days to hit her up. Some would consider that "game playing;" I, however, understand that a woman's imagination is your BEST ally in getting her to become MORE attracted to you. If you show her a good time on a date and treat her better than any other guy has recently treated her, her brain will help increase her like for you by thinking about not only how good you treated her on the date, but how good you'd treat her were you and her to become an official thing.
This means having to think about what you might be like in bed; what other kinds of dates you might go on together; how well you might get along with her friends... and what do all these things have in common? Simple: it's things that she think MIGHT happen, and even thought they have not ACTUALLY happened, her brain is going to make her FEEL like it already has.
BUT...
That can only happen if she is actually given distance from you! If you're calling/texting her the next day, or trying to fit a date in every other day with her, you're KILLING the chances your ally (her brain) has at making her develop those stronger feelings for you. Thus, why it's better to wait a few days after a date to call her - by then, you have FOUR DAYS worth of positive thoughts about you that her brain has made her think of. Combine that with the fact that if you haven't called by day 3 she feels like she may have lost you to someone else (thus making her think you're desirable to other females), and she'll end up being so elated when you call on day 4 that she'll not only accept the date, but probably end up hooking up with you in an attempt to hold your interest!
But again - it's "playing games," right? No - again, it's simply understanding why handling a certain part of the dating cycle is important when trying to get maximum results. So, if you happen to know what things to do, say, or when to make certain moves, understand that (a) it's not "Playing games," and (b) on the off-chance it was, so what? Girls respect (and score) with dudes that they KNOW know how to play it anyway!
