Girls fresh out of relationships

[StoneyRU]

Quick question-how do you handle girls fresh out of relationships that you wanna ask out?

Got a girl I met through some friends who is def a HB9 and real cool. We have been around each other like 3-4 times at the bars when we are with mutual friends. There's definitely some attraction and flirting every time.

Weird thing is I called her last Monday to see if she wanted to get a few drinks for happy hour that Wednesday. She never answered or got back to me so I was like whatever. So This past Friday rolls around and she texts me that she and her friends (some mutual) are going to a bar near me and out that night and I should join. I was going anyways for a friends bday so I told her I might make it up there. She approaches me there and we hang out and talk, take some shots and all. I never mentioned the call of course. She leaves and tells me where she's going (we were with a bunch of mutual friends bar hopping for a combined bday party). See her at the next bar and we talk some more. She approaches me more as I don't want to be a puppy (lesson learned through this site) and definitely don't follow her around like every other guy at the bar. Anyways night ends at a bar and I give her a ride home since I had plans the next day and couldn't get drunk. Had other people in the car but I overheard her telling my buddy she was unapproachable and her friend wasn't (he asked about one of her friends saying she was unapproachable). Said she just got out of a 3 year relationship and didn't really want to be approached.

Here's my question- anyone ever have this type who's freshly single and ask them out? I was gonna see if she wanted to get some drinks Wednesday but Idk if I should rush that and just keep hanging out with mutual friends and keep throwing in more kino and interest and save the ask out for a few weeks.

Thanks for the advice. This site is definitely helpful

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Said she just got out of a 3 year relationship and didn't really want to be approached.


I bet Channing Tatum begs to differ

 

[Renegade357]

I would say after a 3 year relationship that they are going to be real raw emotionally. Hot and cold. One minute they are all over you, the next they aren't returning your phone calls, they are breaking dates, they are giving one word responses to texts hours later. It's not very fun to deal with. Err, unless you just want some good seks.

 

[Betterz]

Disregard her past it's over. She's fresh meat, game her quickly and make your intentions know or some other guys going to be railing her before you. Girls just out of a relationship will hook up easily, just make sure it's you. She probably won't want to get straight into a LTR right away and will have alot of guys after her so stand out and be that guy. Sounds like she's really into you if she's talking to you all night, you might be missing all the IOIs and taking too long to initiate and she could go cold very quickly with your inability to close her while she's single and ready to mingle

 

[StoneyRU]

Yeah I agree and what do I have to lose? Rejections better then being too scared to ask. So got one more question. We are going out Thursday with a bunch of mutual friends (they play in a rec leaugue and
I usually meet them at the bar after since I couldn't play cause of work)

Wait until Thursday and spit game at the bar or still ask her to get drinks Wednesday?

One thing I forgot to mention. She still keeps in touch with her ex some I heard.

 

[Renegade357]

Wait until Thursday and spit game at the bar or still ask her to get drinks Wednesday?

Ex being in the picture always complicates things. Do you have this girl's phone number? If you do just call and ask her out. If you don't your job on Thursday is to get it. Then you wait a 3-5 days and call her. That's when you ask her out. Go slow man. The group hangouts are dangerous too. They are a fast track to the friend zone so be careful. Get the number then get the hell out.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

DUUUUUUDE... I JUST put up this podcast today called "Stop Introducing Her to Your Friends So Soon," where I talk about WHY you shouldn't be trying to bring her around, or get to know her around, other people when you first start dating. (Click on the link in my signature to hear it).

Stop trying to hang around with her with friends - it's only going to make her view you as a friend. Instead, ask her out and see what she says. You don't have to be all heavy with it and go blabbing your feelings - just a simple "hey, I was going to go to (activity) and was hoping I could take you, let me know if you're interested." She'll either say "yes" or give you a plethora of excuses as to why she can't make it, i.e. "No." All this trying to flirt with her with other people around isn't going to help you. (Again, listen to the podcast, maaaan!)

 

[zinc4]

Girls on the rebound are always easy lays...just don't expect a relationship to come out of it because you will likely just be a rebound..next guy after you will be relationship...if your game is tight though you can change that but who the hell wants to pursue a LTR anyway?s.....bang her a few times and let her go on her marry little way...

 

[pyros]

Im tired of reading here sentences like 'dont start as friends'
Ive seen several times couples that started this ****ing way. Some girls, because of their circumnstances, just prefer this, instead of going out on a date with a guy they just met once for five minutes.
The guy was interested, she found him cute but she was not so sure. They became friends, went to parties together, to get an icecream with other friends, to the movies with a group of ppl... you know.
And they just ended together after getting to know each other during some months.

Ive seen this more than twice in the last year. So everytime I hear someone here say that its bull****, that if you start as a friend you'll keep as a friend, or that when a girl refuses your date offer, but she wants to hang out with you and some more friend that you should decline... wrong theory.

Ive seen some guys chase some girls in the last year and they started with this 'lets be friends first....' and ended up together. I thought they were AFCs, I just made some fun of them thinking they were idiots... but see what happened?

 

[Thatfeel21]

Im tired of reading here sentences like 'dont start as friends'
Ive seen several times couples that started this ****ing way. Some girls, because of their circumnstances, just prefer this, instead of going out on a date with a guy they just met once for five minutes.
The guy was interested, she found him cute but she was not so sure. They became friends, went to parties together, to get an icecream with other friends, to the movies with a group of ppl... you know.
And they just ended together after getting to know each other during some months.

Ive seen this more than twice in the last year. So everytime I hear someone here say that its bull****, that if you start as a friend you'll keep as a friend, or that when a girl refuses your date offer, but she wants to hang out with you and some more friend that you should decline... wrong theory.

Ive seen some guys chase some girls in the last year and they started with this 'lets be friends first....' and ended up together. I thought they were AFCs, I just made some fun of them thinking they were idiots... but see what happened?

Very true. It's much faster to build rapport and comfort with a woman who is within your group of friends. If you play your cards right, the sexual tension between you and said woman will becomes so thick that you can slice it with a knife. Just continue to treat her like a woman youre trying to bone and youre all good.

 

[Desdinova]

The same rule-of-thumb applies to women who are fresh out of relationships or single for 3 years.... Be more interesting than her last BF.

 

[VladPatton]

pyros is right, I've seen that happen many, many times as well. Harry is also correct. The answer? Find a balance between knowing her, befriending her, and asking her out. You STILL need to step up and ask her out to see where you stand. If you wait too long, she'll go cold and some other doucher will scoop her up. Be too fresh and she'll feel uncomfortable with you and it'll be clear that all you want is her instant poonani.

Find a sweet spot and go for the kill. Be like a sniper. However, once you take the shot and miss, it is your exit call. No need to hang around her too much and become another orbiter.

 

[Eternal_water]

I met a girl in a club who was clearly upset about something (trying not to cry), I asked her about it and she said she had just broken up with her boyfriend. I jokingly suggested a kiss would cheer her up and she put her tongue down my throat.

 

[Renegade357]

Very true. It's much faster to build rapport and comfort with a woman who is within your group of friends. If you play your cards right, the sexual tension between you and said woman will becomes so thick that you can slice it with a knife. Just continue to treat her like a woman youre trying to bone and youre all good.

What are you supposed to do secretly worship them for a year until they finally ask you out?

I thought we were talking about girls you just met. Don't you guys care about your time?

 

[Uncharted]

If she's "Fresh out of a relationship" that means she is single.

Game her like any other girl. Do not make her think you are expecting a relationship! If she says something like "well I just got out of blah blah" I usually say (while laughing) "whoa whoa I'm not trying to be your boyfriend I just want to have fun". Don't make the first "date" anything serious like dinner or anything. Just go out for drinks or even better (since you know her), invite her over to hang out.

Then order food, get her drunk, escalate, win!

 

[Uncharted]

I met a girl in a club who was clearly upset about something (trying not to cry), I asked her about it and she said she had just broken up with her boyfriend. I jokingly suggested a kiss would cheer her up and she put her tongue down my throat.

Love it. I was at a bar once and a girl yawned. I went up to her and said "why are you yawning?? it's Saturday night you should be getting drunk." She said she just broke up with her boyfriend. I said "Great I'm single too, let's dance". Ended up taking her back to my place and she blew me.

 

[StoneyRU]

I have no idea so suave I just know they still remain in contact some but she tells her friends its over. I texted her about getting up for some pool/drinks last night and she texted me today- hi! I'm busy this Wed but raincheck for next week??

I'm just gonna say sounds good and let her contact me about next week and if not drop it.

I do understand some posters thoughts though you can be friends at first but for me it's gotta have some attraction/interest from the start.

We'll see how it goes though balls in her court

 

[Renegade357]

hi! I'm busy this Wed but raincheck for next week??

She gave a counter offer with no specific date. Red flag. Low interest level. Call her next week. If she does it again delete the number.

 

[StoneyRU]

That's what I was thinking but wasnt sure if she meant next Wednesday. so I'm just gonna say sounds good and maybe hit her up next week. Idk I might let her be the one to reschedule or remind about next week. Not trying to seem needy she gets that a lot and I know I'll see her around and be able to play it cool.

 

[Renegade357]

Nah. You want to get a NO out of her asap if she really has low interest level. Don't be afraid man. Just tell her ok and have a nice night. Don't tell her you're going to call her. Then next Monday night or whatever hit her up and ask her out again for a specific day. If she gives you another weak counter don't call her again.