ebracer05
Senior Don Juan
There has been a lot of talk on this board about hypergamy lately; many opinions have been discussed but no one has articulated a comprehensive view of the complex issue set men are dealing with in hypergamy. Rollo, Atom Smasher, Danger, Backbreaker, and others have contributed to the discussion and it is time to amalgamate everything they have discussed.
Hypergamy in its purest form is an unbridled competitive force that drives the sexual marketplace (SMP). It is analogous to the "invisible hand" that Adam Smith asserted drives any free market economy. The SMP assumes its participants make decisions out of rational self interest and will pursue their best outcomes to their logical conclusions. For clarity's sake, rationality in this context does not refer to a person's mental sanity but rather, to their desire to maximize their return on their investment in a market economy or the value of their mate in a sexual economy. Under hypergamy, an individual balances the costs and benefits of a given scenario in order to maximize their advantage. This typifies many otherwise "insane" behaviors as rational because if for instance, cheating on one's monogamous partner, flaking on a second or third date, or acting sexually wh*rish maximizes whatever advantage an individual is attempting to obtain, it is rational under this definition.
It is important to note that individuals definitions of rational self interest will not always coincide. Beta men have a very hard time with this idea because they are not able to see beyond their own paradigm. In their view, they have acted rationally, perhaps irrationally rationally in their relationships, providing, nurturing, purchasing, investing, and doing whatever else they view is necessary in order to maintain the relationship. In their view, they have been rationally self interested because they view their relational actions as sustaining mechanisms for their relationship.
This view often falls apart however when viewed from the female's perspective. Her view of rational self interest probably has very little in common with the man's; where he seeks to provide security for his relationship through practicality and colloquial expressions of endearment, the woman's rational self interest is probably not aware of this anymore than necessary to take advantage of it. She will take advantage of the beta man's generosity, but not because it endears her closer to him, but because it would be irrational for her not to. Refusing his security and provisions would not maximize her advantage.
We look to evolutionary psychology as a major source of information for what it is that informs a woman's sense of rational self interest. Richard Dawkins would probably assert that it is silly to consider that a woman actually engages in any sort of decision making and that it is her genes that are acting rationally self interested. The agent, be it the female or a component of the female, making the decisions does not matter so much - it is more important to discern what the mechanism of decision making is.
Evolution has created genetic "programs" in humans that fall in line with hypergamy. It is in our species' best interest that we maximize our survival value and are able to breed, recombine our genes, and allow evolution to continue through successive generations. These evolutionary programs in our mind are easy to discuss regarding men. In what has been called "the economics of sex", it is easy to see why men tend to seek large numbers and variety among their sexual partners. Through their sperm men are able to fertilize more than one woman per day and will maximize their reproductive success by mating with as many women as possible.
Women on the other hand cannot have multiple children per day, and thus must use different mating strategies in order to maximize their genetic potential. Pregnancy is one of the most energetically expensive activities a human can engage in, and if a woman is to become pregnant, it is in her best interest to ensure that not only will she obtain help from the lucky male during her pregnancy and child rearing years, but also to ensure that she is combing her genetic material with a worthy males. Because of the method of fertilization available to men, it is in their best interest to use the "shotgun method" and fertilize whatever is available. Genetically speaking, it is more advantageous to assume that one of many females will have worthy genes than to waste the time necessary to sufficiently interview every prospective female. Females on the other hand, in the interest of rational self interest, must interview prospective male suitors in order to ensure that her much larger investment will not be for the sake of lousy genes.
Both sexes engage in short term and long term mating strategies that are interesting to read about but not something I am going to write about. Read the book Evolutionary Psychology by David Buss for more information.
That is a simplified overview of the human mating selection process. Models like this help explain why women select for behavior traits in men that would not otherwise make sense according to rational self interest. Why would it be against a woman's rational self interest to leave the beta man who has done nothing be invest himself in their relationship and provide nice things for her? It is because the personality characteristics he embodies do not correlate with the genetic maps that have been reinforced in her brain for the last several hundred human generations.
We have to remember that human civilization as we know it is an extremely recent phenomenon. For most of our history as a species (this correlates with Christian beliefs too), humans were nomadic and lived in a much more dangerous world. There is a reason why Thomas Hobbes wrote that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Given a woman's necessary physical investment alone in perpetuating her genes, think about the attributes that would be most beneficial to her to seek in a mate.
Confidence to defend her while she is in a weakened and energetically poor state.
Strength to back up the confidence that gives the man authority to stand as a legitimate threat.
Sexual History/Mastery to validate other women have already chosen him. Think about it - the more women that have been receptive to his copulation advances, the better catch this man must be. If it were not so, why would all of these women choose to bear his children? (This is the major tenet of the Good Genes theory)
Intellectual Ability that may manifest itself as whit, charm, humor, intelligence, or any number of other things. This demonstrates that the man has the capabilities to find alternative solutions to problems and quickly resolve bad situations, not only through violence, but perhaps nonviolently (and more safely) due to his intellectual prowess. (This is the central thesis of Geoffrey Miller's book The Mating Mind)
Of course there are other characteristics, but these are easy to see.
One of the problems humans are facing in their evolution is that the evolution of human culture and society has dramatically outstripped the development of the actual humans. We live in a drastically different world than our ancestors of old did, but our minds still function under the same set of programming. And this is why it is in a woman's rational self interest to leave the beta male provider for the ****y and confidence drug addict, despite all of the nice things the beta male did for her. In fact, it would probably be more-so in a woman's rational self interest for her to stay with the beta male and allow him to keep providing for her while she copulates with the ****y and confident drug dealer secretly - it is rational for her to have an affair.
This is why Rollo says hypergamy does not care. Hypergamy cannot care, it is not a sentient being, it is an undirected process. To say hypergamy cares what investment a man has made in a woman would be analogous to saying evolution cares how much a species wants to stay in existence.
Given that human cultural and social evolution has vastly outstripped actual human evolution, that does not mean human culture and society have failed to influence humans. Going back to our beloved foundation of evolutionary psychology, we must remember that humans are still governed according to programming that was best suited for a much more brutish form of living... not modern society. Our impulses to accept peer pressure, group think, and the influence from what we perceive to be popular has its roots in these programs.
When humans were nomadic, the bands they traveled in were perhaps not so much unlike the social circles we have today. They had leaders (alphas) who were in charge, copulated with most or all of the women, and led the group. The difference between a prehistoric band of humans and a modern social circle is that expulsion from a modern social circle feels bad but probably doesn't carry any tangible consequences. Expulsion from a prehistoric band however probably meant death to whoever was cast out. They became independently responsible for their survival against the environment, wild animals, and other bands. Why would another band have any interest in allowing an expelled human to join them. If the person was of any real value, would it have been in the original band's rational self interest to expel him or her?
Hypergamy in its purest form is an unbridled competitive force that drives the sexual marketplace (SMP). It is analogous to the "invisible hand" that Adam Smith asserted drives any free market economy. The SMP assumes its participants make decisions out of rational self interest and will pursue their best outcomes to their logical conclusions. For clarity's sake, rationality in this context does not refer to a person's mental sanity but rather, to their desire to maximize their return on their investment in a market economy or the value of their mate in a sexual economy. Under hypergamy, an individual balances the costs and benefits of a given scenario in order to maximize their advantage. This typifies many otherwise "insane" behaviors as rational because if for instance, cheating on one's monogamous partner, flaking on a second or third date, or acting sexually wh*rish maximizes whatever advantage an individual is attempting to obtain, it is rational under this definition.
It is important to note that individuals definitions of rational self interest will not always coincide. Beta men have a very hard time with this idea because they are not able to see beyond their own paradigm. In their view, they have acted rationally, perhaps irrationally rationally in their relationships, providing, nurturing, purchasing, investing, and doing whatever else they view is necessary in order to maintain the relationship. In their view, they have been rationally self interested because they view their relational actions as sustaining mechanisms for their relationship.
This view often falls apart however when viewed from the female's perspective. Her view of rational self interest probably has very little in common with the man's; where he seeks to provide security for his relationship through practicality and colloquial expressions of endearment, the woman's rational self interest is probably not aware of this anymore than necessary to take advantage of it. She will take advantage of the beta man's generosity, but not because it endears her closer to him, but because it would be irrational for her not to. Refusing his security and provisions would not maximize her advantage.
We look to evolutionary psychology as a major source of information for what it is that informs a woman's sense of rational self interest. Richard Dawkins would probably assert that it is silly to consider that a woman actually engages in any sort of decision making and that it is her genes that are acting rationally self interested. The agent, be it the female or a component of the female, making the decisions does not matter so much - it is more important to discern what the mechanism of decision making is.
Evolution has created genetic "programs" in humans that fall in line with hypergamy. It is in our species' best interest that we maximize our survival value and are able to breed, recombine our genes, and allow evolution to continue through successive generations. These evolutionary programs in our mind are easy to discuss regarding men. In what has been called "the economics of sex", it is easy to see why men tend to seek large numbers and variety among their sexual partners. Through their sperm men are able to fertilize more than one woman per day and will maximize their reproductive success by mating with as many women as possible.
Women on the other hand cannot have multiple children per day, and thus must use different mating strategies in order to maximize their genetic potential. Pregnancy is one of the most energetically expensive activities a human can engage in, and if a woman is to become pregnant, it is in her best interest to ensure that not only will she obtain help from the lucky male during her pregnancy and child rearing years, but also to ensure that she is combing her genetic material with a worthy males. Because of the method of fertilization available to men, it is in their best interest to use the "shotgun method" and fertilize whatever is available. Genetically speaking, it is more advantageous to assume that one of many females will have worthy genes than to waste the time necessary to sufficiently interview every prospective female. Females on the other hand, in the interest of rational self interest, must interview prospective male suitors in order to ensure that her much larger investment will not be for the sake of lousy genes.
Both sexes engage in short term and long term mating strategies that are interesting to read about but not something I am going to write about. Read the book Evolutionary Psychology by David Buss for more information.
That is a simplified overview of the human mating selection process. Models like this help explain why women select for behavior traits in men that would not otherwise make sense according to rational self interest. Why would it be against a woman's rational self interest to leave the beta man who has done nothing be invest himself in their relationship and provide nice things for her? It is because the personality characteristics he embodies do not correlate with the genetic maps that have been reinforced in her brain for the last several hundred human generations.
We have to remember that human civilization as we know it is an extremely recent phenomenon. For most of our history as a species (this correlates with Christian beliefs too), humans were nomadic and lived in a much more dangerous world. There is a reason why Thomas Hobbes wrote that life was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." Given a woman's necessary physical investment alone in perpetuating her genes, think about the attributes that would be most beneficial to her to seek in a mate.
Confidence to defend her while she is in a weakened and energetically poor state.
Strength to back up the confidence that gives the man authority to stand as a legitimate threat.
Sexual History/Mastery to validate other women have already chosen him. Think about it - the more women that have been receptive to his copulation advances, the better catch this man must be. If it were not so, why would all of these women choose to bear his children? (This is the major tenet of the Good Genes theory)
Intellectual Ability that may manifest itself as whit, charm, humor, intelligence, or any number of other things. This demonstrates that the man has the capabilities to find alternative solutions to problems and quickly resolve bad situations, not only through violence, but perhaps nonviolently (and more safely) due to his intellectual prowess. (This is the central thesis of Geoffrey Miller's book The Mating Mind)
Of course there are other characteristics, but these are easy to see.
One of the problems humans are facing in their evolution is that the evolution of human culture and society has dramatically outstripped the development of the actual humans. We live in a drastically different world than our ancestors of old did, but our minds still function under the same set of programming. And this is why it is in a woman's rational self interest to leave the beta male provider for the ****y and confidence drug addict, despite all of the nice things the beta male did for her. In fact, it would probably be more-so in a woman's rational self interest for her to stay with the beta male and allow him to keep providing for her while she copulates with the ****y and confident drug dealer secretly - it is rational for her to have an affair.
This is why Rollo says hypergamy does not care. Hypergamy cannot care, it is not a sentient being, it is an undirected process. To say hypergamy cares what investment a man has made in a woman would be analogous to saying evolution cares how much a species wants to stay in existence.
Given that human cultural and social evolution has vastly outstripped actual human evolution, that does not mean human culture and society have failed to influence humans. Going back to our beloved foundation of evolutionary psychology, we must remember that humans are still governed according to programming that was best suited for a much more brutish form of living... not modern society. Our impulses to accept peer pressure, group think, and the influence from what we perceive to be popular has its roots in these programs.
When humans were nomadic, the bands they traveled in were perhaps not so much unlike the social circles we have today. They had leaders (alphas) who were in charge, copulated with most or all of the women, and led the group. The difference between a prehistoric band of humans and a modern social circle is that expulsion from a modern social circle feels bad but probably doesn't carry any tangible consequences. Expulsion from a prehistoric band however probably meant death to whoever was cast out. They became independently responsible for their survival against the environment, wild animals, and other bands. Why would another band have any interest in allowing an expelled human to join them. If the person was of any real value, would it have been in the original band's rational self interest to expel him or her?