1st date went PERFECT but she ignores me now

[gimmeyofonenumba]

Everything went awesome. Met this girl at a bar, met up a few days later for drinks. Conversation was awesome, I was dead on with my c&f. She was laughing, lotsa kino both ways. I sent her a text later that night, a inside joke. No response. I called her 2 days later. Nothing. Wtf. Nothing could possibly have gone wrong. What should be my next move?

 

[pdx1138]

find another one and expect the same thing.

I was doing well last year, a few good dates that went on for awhile then not panning out.

But this year things have changed. I've had that experience with 5 different women this year. Everything was going in a good direction then silence from them.

Expect it and deal accordingly.

 

[st_99]

she doesnt like you. i've been on dates where i knew from
the first minute i wasnt interested but continued to have fun, laugh,
flirt and could see how i may have accidentaly fooled her into thinking
i liked her. move on.

 

[The_411]

Perfect according to you but clearly it didn't work for her. Maybe it was too perfect maybe you missed some signs etc.

It's great to be confident but you have to be less outcome dependent.

How a date goes is irrelevant except if you get another one. Sometimes you can have what appears to be a terrible date and it leads into more dates. Other times you think you nailed it and it goes nowhere.

The key is to ignore your perception of the date to judge what a woman may decide. Now your perception is important for your own decisions about the person for your own choices.

 

[tafakna]

Everything went awesome. Met this girl at a bar, met up a few days later for drinks. Conversation was awesome, I was dead on with my c&f. She was laughing, lotsa kino both ways. I sent her a text later that night, a inside joke. No response. I called her 2 days later. Nothing. Wtf. Nothing could possibly have gone wrong. What should be my next move?

Sorry for the reality call, but sounds like it was perfect to you, not her.

After date texting is a awful idea. I've used to do that but I've dropped the habit years ago. It sounds clingy in almost all circumstances. I don't even fall for the 'send me a text when you get home' anymore.

As for the next date, it's just like momentum in physics, a lot more is required to get things moving again. It's common for girls to endure dates and enjoy the moment, even if they know they won't be seeing you again.

If you're certain that she was into you, then consider the possibility she's rebounding or that you're not her main focus (she wants someone else who's not reciprocating and goes on dates to find other options).

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo gimmeyofonenumba,

As you continue to meet different girls, you'll find that many of them have a high interest in you that lasts ONLY as long as the date itself. A lot of women "act" like they like just long enough to make it through the date.

Other times they really are "into you" while they're with you, but as soon as you're out of sight---------you're out of mind. And most of the time, that's because they've got somebody ELSE on their mind.

And STILL other times (as has been mentioned), it's possible to misread the girls high level of passion for you because we're too blinded by our OWN high passion for HER.

Usually, the best way to handle situations like this is to keep your enthusiasm under control until a woman treats you CONSISTENTLY well over a period of MANY dates/encounters. In the meantime, date'em ALL------and let their ACTIONS towards you tell you what you need to know about EACH and EVERY one of them.


V.U.

 

[Serg897]

Good advice here. I've had this happen to me at least 2-3 times. One I actually had to post about here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185639

Sometimes it just doesnt go your way even if it initially seems to be going that way. Your own perceptions do not equal her perceptions, no matter how acute you think your senses are about these things. Sometimes women are just unpredictable, period. The bottom line is she doesnt like you. Move on.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I've had girls not return texts and calls after they told me they think that I'm "The most amazing guy!".. I don't really take offense, I figure if somethings keeping them from me after telling me this, then something out of my control is probably wrong and I should move on.

 

[J Roc]

She is messing with another man. NEXT!

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

It's tough, because there isnt even much of a lesson to learned, except that women are too unpredictable. She was definitely trying to qualify her so to my liking. Saying certain things,etc. When it comes down to it. I like the above guy's response. A woman means absolutely nothing to you until she has consistently earned it. I'll find hotter girls, gonna tear it up this weekend. Best of luck to everyone..

 

[spinaroonie]

Been seeing more and more of this lately.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years? 

If she's got a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options.

With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. You have women that are on there for years - she can't a single dude among the lot? She's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

If online dating loses it's stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single women in their 20s today have online dating profiles?

 

[nismo-4]

When you're on a date, she's more than likely to be a diktease or an attention wh0re. I was on a date with a woman like this on Saturday and she hasn't spoken to me since. I'm assuming she got another man. F**k online dating.

And this girl told me that I'm her only desire! And we made out in the parking lot! And we made out in the car! Thank goodness I'm spinning more plates.

 

[macallik]

It's tough, because there isnt even much of a lesson to learned, except that women are too unpredictable. She was definitely trying to qualify her so to my liking. Saying certain things,etc. When it comes down to it. I like the above guy's response. A woman means absolutely nothing to you until she has consistently earned it. I'll find hotter girls, gonna tear it up this weekend. Best of luck to everyone..

Thats the biggest lesson you can learn imo.

 

[floydb25]

This is common with the bar scene. Most engagements only last a few days at most.

 

[armourknight]

ermm.. I feel, instead of sending her a text that same-night, you should have waited for her, to give a call or send a text ! If she had given u a call or text, u would have known then whether she was interested.. And yeah, always expect less coz it does help in keeping your temptation to call her or think bout her to minimum !
I guess, jus a guess though.. That you were too ****y and funny, u need to have, u know, a lil bit of "Serious Attitude" as well, Like James Bond !

 

[nismo-4]

Been seeing more and more of this lately.

It's 2011. Women control the dating game.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years? 

Most women online do this to raise their options. They can do it very quickly in case they get rejected. Rejection barely hurts women.

If she's got a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

That's why I'm working on my status and looks and money. 10% of the guys are doing 90% of the f**king.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

In the past, there was little internet, no smartphones, no facebook/myspace/twitter, and if you were told that she had a boyfriend, it was true. Now, it's a scare tactic for most working men.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options.

Men chase, women choose. Women NEVER have trouble getting a date. Men OFTEN have trouble getting a date, so they try to get in a relationship ASAP. Maybe because they've been made fun of a lot, they appear undesirable, etc. Women are more likely to cheat. If they find a better catch, they can quickly get rid of you. Female companionship and love is very desirable, and men know they're desirable as long as they've got at least ONE woman.

With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. You have women that are on there for years - she can't a single dude among the lot? She's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

Be in the top 10% of men. Tough task, but it will solve the problem.

If online dating loses it's stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

Too late. It's already mainstream. The average guy already has it tough.

What % of single women in their 20s today have online dating profiles?

At least 80.

Read bet- Damn. Women choose how they want to feel.

 

[Iceberg]

Men chase, women choose. Women NEVER have trouble getting a date. Men OFTEN have trouble getting a date, so they try to get in a relationship ASAP. Maybe because they've been made fun of a lot, they appear undesirable, etc. Women are more likely to cheat. If they find a better catch, they can quickly get rid of you. Female companionship and love is very desirable, and men know they're desirable as long as they've got at least ONE woman.

It's 2011. Women control the dating game.

I don't believe that women control the dating game these days any more than they did in the past. Their flakiness and indecisiveness....that's part of their genes. Not the result of anything new.

I agree with you that men chase and women choose. That's the game. But here's our power....chase more than one girl. It eliminates the desperation and neediness. It eliminates the "What if I lose?" mentality.

You say that women cheat, but if I'm gonna be honest...I've found that I cheat a lot more than most girls I know. A part of flakiness is having options...and as my options grew over the years, I found myself flaking on dates. Or making out with (or f**king) a girl and not calling her again.

It's easier said than done....but our power lies in our options. The less we care, the more power we gain.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't believe that women control the dating game these days any more than they did in the past. Their flakiness and indecisiveness....that's part of their genes. Not the result of anything new.

I agree with you that men chase and women choose. That's the game. But here's our power....chase more than one girl. It eliminates the desperation and neediness. It eliminates the "What if I lose?" mentality.

You say that women cheat, but if I'm gonna be honest...I've found that I cheat a lot more than most girls I know. A part of flakiness is having options...and as my options grew over the years, I found myself flaking on dates. Or making out with (or f**king) a girl and not calling her again.

It's easier said than done....but our power lies in our options. The less we care, the more power we gain.

Most flakiness is because of options. I'm not defending flakey women in any way, but they generally aren't doing it to be cruel. They are juggling multiple offers at any given time. If you try to juggle two many balls, you can't keep them all on the air. Some will fall to the ground. That is what is happening.

It's no different than trying to get a job these days. I've had a nickel for every guy that said:

"I went on this job interview and the manager really liked me. They totally want me for the job."

A few weeks later

"They never called me back"

It's all about their options.

 

[bigneil]

The key measure of success for the first date is whether you get a second date. Hence it wasn't perfect. Plus "lots of kino" = "I couldn't keep my hands off her".

 

[Aaron B]

she's either not interested or she's intentionally playing games

either way, she hasn't earned access to any more of your valuable time and attention