Finally Met an Alpha Male

[zekko]

Ever since I started coming to Sosuave, I've been keeping my eye out for this Alpha Male, this guy who is so amazing with women that we are all supposed to be emulating. I've never quite seemed to find him though. I know lots of guys who cold approach or who are great flirts, but none of them seem to be the intense object of desire for women. And many of them didn't have their life together. I know a few handsome doctor types that girls drool over, but their personalities seem almost feminine, not really alpha types.

Anyway, I finally meet this guy. As we are talking, several of the very prettiest girls come up and talk to him (note that they approach him). They already know him. Most of them act very giggly around him, kind of like the female version of the "dancing clown" or "Mr. Entertainer Guy", they seem to be showing off for him. When I was younger, I might have been intimidated or jealous of this guy, but these days I feel more sure of who I am so I just find it interesting. So I stayed around and talked to him, he was easy to talk to.

Here's what he's like:
1. He's tall, well built, and good looking. Well groomed goatee, mid thirties, dark hair with not a fleck of gray (unlike mine lol).
2. He didin't use any ****y and funny at all. He just talked about everyday things with girls in a very normal way. If anything he came off as kind of serious.
3. He has a decent job, not great, but fairly good. Maybe not even good but fairly good.
4. He had this aura about him, the way he carried himself, that if something were to go down, he would be able to handle it. He had an imposing, dominant physical presence. As I said, he was tall and well built, but there was also something in his manner that suggested that not only COULD he handle a problem if it came up, but he WOULD.
The dude works in a prison so probably some of this comes from that, dealing with convicts.

I'm pretty sure it's mostly 1 and 4 that gets him the attention of the women. And of course 4 is the main lesson you can learn from him here, if you can carry yourself in that way. But remember this guy had the physical presence that made it obvious he could back it up.

There was a bit of an achilles heel to him in that he was kind of moaning about people always talking about him and different women, always claiming he and other women were hooking up or whatever, like people were giving him a kind of player tag. He seemed to paint himself as a victim of it.
Other than that he's probably the closest thing to an alpha male that I have met yet since studying this seduction stuff.

 

[morepoonplease]

Good Job!! :d

 

[ecko280]

I too go looking for Alpha/Beta Male when i talk to other guys. My Dad is very Alpha. He puts my mom in check all the time and he controls every thing. I do find a lot more betas male then alphas.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

I've also noticed that some guys who work in prison or have done time have an Alpha Male aura. Girls get off on this aura, I don't know what it is, cannot explain it, But my uncles and old man are like this too. I've also noticed that guys who can be physically intimidating (tattoos, well built, tall) but are well spoken in the english command and can string along a great conversation of intelligence are beast. People (not just girls) are attracted to this.

Also guys that KNOW THEIR "NICHE" or know where they fit in and are GOOD at what ever that is, have this same presence. I've seen some girls who are just attracted to a guy they SUBCONCIOUSLY know has been there, done it and wore the T-shirt and it comes off in their body language. Best way I can describe this, is when these girls are all giggly and trying to show off for you, the guy will just give off a "Yeah whatever"-patronising sub communication in a fun way. Whilst other guys would be trying to live off on the girls playfullness.

Good-hearted Sinners maybe?

 

[omega05]

So what does finding this "alpha male" have to do with you?

 

[CaptainJ]

Did you number close?

 

[Cry For Love]

Oww someone has a man crush!

 

[mrRuckus]

You can't really be sure of this until you start learning about his private dealings with women and such.

This guy might "fall" for certain girls at times and become afc as sh1t. You never know. Initial perception and reality often diverge.

Tall guys like this are so lucky. Whenever I read Pook's stuff on here i always kept in mind how he said he was pretty tall and then he put on weight and him changing nothing else would have girls throwing themselves at him. Tall and muscular works wonders.

 

[falconslax89]

so what are you calling tall? im 6'2" but dont consider myself "tall." i guess i never noticed how short a lot of guys are...so is tall here 6'0"..or like 6'5"?

 

[zekko]

So what does finding this "alpha male" have to do with you?

I thought I explained this in the first paragraph. But to clarify:

I've read so much about the mythical "alpha male" on this forum, but I was beginning to doubt that he really existed. We are told to look at guys who are good with women and emulate thier behaviors, do as they do, use them as role models. But looking around me, I never saw a guy that I thought fit the description. Even this guy doesn't completely fit it, no one is 100% alpha. But he comes pretty close.

The benefit to me was that I was able to see how an alpha guy carries himself with self assurance and dominance. With an air of readiness to take action at a moment's notice. I try to carry myself in a confident manner, but being able to observe this gave me another perspective.

You can't really be sure of this until you start learning about his private dealings with women and such.

This guy might "fall" for certain girls at times and become afc as sh1t. You never know. Initial perception and reality often diverge.

Who is to say an alpha male can't fall for a girl? He's still a human.
Anyway, he did express frustration that others thought of him as a player. Maybe it interfered with him being able to achieve intimacy with certain women, because they were leery of him.

Tall guys like this are so lucky. Whenever I read Pook's stuff on here i always kept in mind how he said he was pretty tall and then he put on weight and him changing nothing else would have girls throwing themselves at him. Tall and muscular works wonders.

I thought about Pook's post when writing this also. Because this matches that description pretty well. This guy was doing NOTHING to attract these women, they were coming up and throwing themselves at him.

Pook was 6'5" I believe. Probably good looking as well judging from his description of female's reactions to him. This guy was slim and strong looking, but I wouldn't describe him as jacked or ripped necessarily. He wasn't skinny. Muscular but not bodybuilder type.

Pook's post always confused me because I have read a lot of posts from guys who bulked up. And some guys got this amazing transformation where women would start throwing themselves at them just because of the body. And with others, they were more confident but women didn't really react differently to them. I always wondered what the difference was with these guys, and I figured Pook's height had something to do with it. Plus he was probably a good looking guy - if you're tall, good looking, and muscular, and have halfway decent social calibration, women will throw themselves at you in a giddy frenzy.

i guess i never noticed how short a lot of guys are...so is tall here 6'0"..or like 6'5"?

I'm not a good judge of heights but this guy probably was pretty close to 6'5".

 

[Uberguy]

Ever since I started coming to Sosuave, I've been keeping my eye out for this Alpha Male, this guy who is so amazing with women that we are all supposed to be emulating.

It's all well and good to learn lessons from others, but once you learn the lesson it does no good to look for others who embody it. Instead, embrace it yourself. Don't look for an Alpha Male; be the Alpha Male.

 

[zekko]

It's all well and good to learn lessons from others, but once you learn the lesson it does no good to look for others who embody it. Instead, embrace it yourself. Don't look for an Alpha Male; be the Alpha Male

Well, I agree with what you're saying. I felt I held my own with him as far as feeling confident and being comfortable in my own skin. I have to be my own man and all, and I have my alpha qualities. But the girls were throwing themselves at him, not me. I was just watching, fascinated. I could not take that passive an approach and get that kind of reaction (he wasn't doing anything, just sitting there talking to me, and these girls kept coming up trying to be the dancing clown for him).

I'm in a LTR for those who don't know, so don't tell me to approach more.

 

[Lexington]

I don't think that this level of "alphaness" is something that any guy can obtain. I'm 5'7 and I have a lean skeletal structure to go along with a baby face. Even if I was an absolute animal in the weight room, I wouldn't be able to command the same presence as a ripped guy who is 6'4 with a big frame. I don't think we can all be that "alpha" guy. It's not even congruent with what a lot of guys' true personalities.

Fortunately though, I don't think we have to be. The "alpha male" archetype isn't the only one that gets laid like a rockstar. Hell most rockstars aren't even alpha male types.

 

[zekko]

I don't think that this level of "alphaness" is something that any guy can obtain. I'm 5'7 and I have a lean skeletal structure to go along with a baby face.

Yeah, I agree with you. I can't be this guy. I don't want to be this guy. I'm too old to be this guy anyway. I just have to be the best Zekko I can be. But I'm always looking to self improve so maybe I can learn to be a little more dominant in the way I carry myself, without looking like an @ss.

It's a bit disappointing that when I do finally meet an alpha, genetics plays such an obviously major role.

In the meantime, I will keep my eyes open, and if I run across any 5'7" alphas I will definitely let you know.

 

[unsatisfied]

I wouldn't be able to command the same presence as a ripped guy who is 6'4 with a big frame. I don't think we can all be that "alpha" guy. .

height is a factor, but not the defining factor. the biggest alpha at work is only about 5'9 and muscular. his is more down to sheer personality, charisma and force of will. just being in the room with this guy saying nothing, you get the vibe that he could make anything happen at anytime of his choosing, he leads and people follow. i remember once i joked in the corridor, "are you living the dream" and he responded "i am the dream" - totally different mindset.


very tall (over 6'2) etc men (and women) ive found generally are pretty easy to carve up as they usually have been debased over their height from a young age. however that changes if the tall man is muscular - he is generally more physcially dominant in presence, but can still be dominated by a shorter alpha male.

it is when a very tall, good looking muscular man with the right charisma and personality truly becomes dominant alpha - these are some of the most successful people on the planet.

 

[J. Darko]

It really looks like you're in love wth the guy. Are you bisexual? Anyway, yes, masculine guys are the coolest to be with.

 

[J. Darko]

hes gay not that theres anything wrong with it

No he's bisexual. Obviously he's a member of Sosuave so he has an interest in girls. But his detailed post says he likes men too.

Now for those of you saying that it's not gay to positively comment on other guys and that it's homophobic not to do so, look at his post again. A heterosexual would say something like 'he's a good looking guy' and leave it at that. But Zekko is very, very detailed about it. That's a homosexual characteristic. But he can't be homosexual, because he likes girls too. So he's bicurious at the least.

So Zekko, you learned something today about yourself.

 

[escaleraroyal]

This is a gay thread.

 

[Kailex]

I see a LOT of insecurity in this thread, and I definitely do NOT mean zekko.
The underlying message of this post is being lost and that's too bad.

 

[synergy1]

I see a LOT of insecurity in this thread, and I definitely do NOT mean zekko.
The underlying message of this post is being lost and that's too bad.

its because this post has too much "real world" stuff in it and not enough armchair conjecture. People incessantly talk about what the #1 should be like, and as soon as someone posts a profile of a real #1, they turn back the clock to 14 years old and cry out , "GAY!". That sort of sums up the majority of the posters giving bad advise though.

You are what you are. Most pretenders pretend to be alphas, but I suspect they would be worth hours of laughs if you watched them fail in person. I don't believe that you can change too much beyond your fundamental personality. for instance, I am pretty quiet and shy so i don't have much to say. I can fake it and chat up a storm with anyone, make friends, or hook up with a chick in short order, but none of this changes who I am really. Part of my joke is telling chicks I am shy as hell, even though none of them believe it. my last gf didn't believe it for our entire relationship.

anyway, interesting look at a real top dog.