Does divorce really mean loss of half your assets?

[ketostix]

First, I have the lowest opinion of the modern american woman and the divorce/family laws as anyone. But I think maybe this whole marriages always end in divorce and loss of half your assets is a little overblown and is misleading a lot of guys.

The fact is all things being equal spinning plates actually has more potential for pregnancies(not to mention stds) than a monogamous relationship. The logistics of controlling a pregnancy with one woman is a lot simpler than with multiple women. A pregnant woman you are not married to is as much or probably more a financial liability than one that you are. so it's no solution to the pregnancy and child support problem.

And about splitting half of the assets. It is possible that if you have acquired a lot of assets and you then marry a woman and she divorces you after a relatively short period of time, she could get some or half your assets that she did not contribute to. But really anymore women already have half your assets from the get go. They got it when feminism came along. And in most case they are bringing nearly half of the assets into the marriage and you are cutting your expenses since 2 people can live much cheaper in one household than in two. And statistically marriages last for several years. I have to admit though that in some cases women do make off with a guys assets. But for the same reasons marriage is fvcked up applies to the single life to.

Honestly a lot of time and money is spent perptually trying to find new plates. And the same reason why women don't make good wives also applies to why they don't make good dates, GFs, or FBs. it just doesn't seem like perpetual bachelorhood is much of a solution. And all the problems and shortcomings with it get downplayed and glossed over. Just maybe a lot of guys would be better off trying to find the best quality woman and being exclusive.

 

[romangod]

The way I understand divorce in my province is that she's entitled to half of the assets acquired after the marriage. That includes any of your assets that have increased during the marriage. For example, if you had a mutual fund or GIC that was worth $100,000 when you got married and was worth $150,000 when you divorce she's entitled to half the increase which is $25,000.

Alimony is paid by the partner(usually the man) who makes more than the other. If she's not working you can get really screwed. In rare cases when she makes more than him, he's entitled to alimony.

The "home or house" is split 50/50 no matter if you or her owned it outright before the marriage. That's considered the "matrimonial" home and you both own it. The smart thing to do would be to either sell your house before the marriage or mortgage it to the max and put that aside as yours.


Cheers!

 

[piranha45]

I'll throw in some conjecture:

Being exclusive (via marriage) makes your strongest tool--walking away-- difficult and messy.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

That's why you get a pre nup right?

If I ever get married I am heavily leaning towards a foreign woman. A hot, young one that can speak English but not very well would be great. Preferably Brazilian I think they are so hot and they haven't become evil monsters from American culture.

I am starting to seek these types of women out already.

I have dated American and Foreign in the past 2 years and Foriegn girls are so much better. American girls are liars and ho's. Not all but many.... maybe even the majority of them can't be trusted in my opinion. I'm not saying this because I'm bitter it's what I have seen with my eyes.

Morals and ethics in America are gone and that applies to the females unfortunately.

 

[decades]

she gets half the assets you accumulate "while you are together". So no she does not get half of all the assets.

 

[SXS]

The way I understand divorce in my province is that she's entitled to half of the assets acquired after the marriage. That includes any of your assets that have increased during the marriage. For example, if you had a mutual fund or GIC that was worth $100,000 when you got married and was worth $150,000 when you divorce she's entitled to half the increase which is $25,000.

Alimony is paid by the partner(usually the man) who makes more than the other. If she's not working you can get really screwed. In rare cases when she makes more than him, he's entitled to alimony.

In my country is a little different. You can choose to marry with "separated goods" or not. If you go separated, what is yours is yours, what is hers is hers, and you have the right to nothing. If you choose the other way, and there is a divorce, everything aquired AFTER the marriage by both of them must be equally divided. If there is adultery, any rights might be lost. Also, in the constitution, cheating is a crime, which can put any of you in jail or be fined, but in the pratical sense, those things almost doesn't happen anymore.
There is "alimony"(is not the name used), but in the case that the person cannot support herself and does not have another partner.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Ketostix,
Roman God's take on Canada seems about what happens down here....Vlads sound advice on the pre Nuptial if properly done through a Soliciter enables you to keep what you bring to the table and its indexed increase in value,remember the clock starts ticking from the moment you cohabit....But Keto you will hear the squeals a Mile away when you insist,as you must on a Pre Nuptial.

 

[The Muscle Guy]

Ok, I have a personal training business in an affluent area. Most of my clients are women. Housewives married to wealthy men.

They told me that if they ever got divorced, it would be like winning the lottery. They would get the best divorce attorney money can buy and take everything!

I see no point in marriage. You can raise children together without getting everything you worked for taken away from you.

 

[elpasorichard]

First off, I would like to say that anything I comment on is highly dependent on the state and country you reside in.

The way I understand divorce in my province is that she's entitled to half of the assets acquired after the marriage. That includes any of your assets that have increased during the marriage. For example, if you had a mutual fund or GIC that was worth $100,000 when you got married and was worth $150,000 when you divorce she's entitled to half the increase which is $25,000.

This is true in my state, and I believe it is true in most states.

Alimony is paid by the partner(usually the man) who makes more than the other. If she's not working you can get really screwed. In rare cases when she makes more than him, he's entitled to alimony.

In my state alimony wasn't even allowed until 1995. Today, it is possible to get it but not likely. Here are the requirements (notice the part I put in bold):

Factors Used in Determining an Award of Maintenance (Alimony).
"Maintenance" means an award in a suit for dissolution of a marriage of periodic payments from the future income of one spouse for the support of the other spouse. In a suit for dissolution of a marriage, the court may order maintenance for either spouse only if one of the following apply:

(1) the spouse from whom maintenance is requested was convicted of or received deferred adjudication for a criminal offense that also constitutes an act of family violence under Title 4 and the offense occurred within two years before the date on which a suit for dissolution of the marriage is filed, or while the suit is pending;

(2) the duration of the marriage was 10 years or longer, the spouse seeking maintenance lacks sufficient property, including property distributed to the spouse under this code, to provide for the spouse’s minimum reasonable needs, as limited by Section 8.054, and the spouse seeking maintenance:

(A) is unable to support himself or herself through appropriate employment because of an incapacitating physical or mental disability;

(B) is the custodian of a child of the marriage of any age who requires substantial care and personal supervision because a physical or mental disability makes it necessary, taking into consideration the needs of the child, that the spouse not be employed outside the home; or

(C) clearly lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to provide support for the spouse’s minimum reasonable needs, as limited by Section 8.054.

It is presumed that maintenance under section (2) is not warranted unless the spouse seeking maintenance has exercised diligence in:

(A) seeking suitable employment; or

(B) developing the necessary skills to become self-supporting during a period of separation and during the time the suit for dissolution of the marriage is pending.

The "home or house" is split 50/50 no matter if you or her owned it outright before the marriage. That's considered the "matrimonial" home and you both own it. The smart thing to do would be to either sell your house before the marriage or mortgage it to the max and put that aside as yours.

Totally not true in my state. When I married my ex-wife, the house had been mine for 12 years before I got married, and it was NOT considered marital property when we got divorced 1 1/2 years later. The reason for this is because in my state there are 3 types of property:
1. Community property, which is property acquired during marriage.
2. Separate property, which is property acquired prior to marriage. This is to include real property (i.e., land, house, etc). Even the appreciation in value is separate property, not community property. (Rents, revenues, and income derived from separate real property is community property.) Separate property also includes gifts, property received by will, an any property received through inheritance that was not in a will.
3. Commingled property, is marital property that is a mixture of both separate property and community property. For example, if you sold a home you owned before marriage (separate property), and took the proceeds and deposited it into a joint account, that would be commingled property. In the case of divorce, separate property can be claimed from the commingled property, if you can prove which parts are separate.

Also, alimony will not be paid any longer than 3 years, nor will it exceed 20% of income or $2500, whichever is smaller.


In conclusion, it really depends on what state you live in. If you are planning on divorce, you might actually find it to your advantage to find out your states divorce laws, and if they are very "anti-male", you might want to move somewhere else before marriage, and then be sure to be the one to file in that new state.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

I see no point in marriage. You can raise children together without getting everything you worked for taken away from you.

The point of marriage is to get my hot FOREIGN wife a green card so she can stay in the country.

 

[NewMan]

The point of marriage is to get my hot FOREIGN wife a green card so she can stay in the country.

you failed to add this....

Get educated and americanized - then take you to the cleaners for everything you've got.

 

[STR8UP]

Here's the problem with her getting half your sh!t, whether it's from when you are "together" or not.

Giving her half your sh!t from when you are together ASSUMES that *SHE* helped to create said wealth.

Now I'm not against FAIR distribution of assets, but essentially what you have is a situation where you are handing the woman an undated check when you say "I do".

Leykis always said "Marriage is for poor people". People who can't afford to pay the rent themselves. Something to think about.

Anyway, lets think about this in practical terms.

For a normal guy, it might not be such a bad deal. Chances are they both have jobs, maybe he makes a little more than she does, but maybe she takes care of soem of the "other" stuff and they work together to build a life. There isn't much inequity there.

BUT.....

Lets now look at the guy who who has super high potential to achieve a high net worth-

He spends the better part of his 20's and 30's trying to gain his bearings in the business world. He loses his ass on a few business deals because it's part of the process. He creates a knowledge bank that is PRICELESS. His REAL value sits in his brain.

Along comes his princess. He has been busy building his empire for YEARS. She's "the one". They marry. All of a sudden, hubby starts hitting his stride with business. All of thise years of knowledge are really beginning to pay off! He starts bringing in a couple of million per year in income, and his net worth skyrockets to $20 million.

Now I don't care if wifey is a neurosurgeon knocking down a half mil per year or even an MBA who helps consult the business, the HUSBAND was the one who spent years of his life gaining the experience necessary to put his wealth into the stratosphere.

So how much is the wife entitled to? Do you think the courts will compensate for the "intellectual equity" he brought to the table before the marriage when the assets that were obtained post-nup are divvied up in the divorce?

I highly doubt it.

Oh yea, and just for the record.....if genders were reversed it should be the exact same. If the woman builds a business that takes off whatever he shouldn't be allowed to take it.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

you failed to add this....

Get educated and americanized - then take you to the cleaners for everything you've got.

I'll still get a pre nup for my foreign babe. I'll tell her "just sign here don't worry about what that says".

Maybe I should get one from China since everything else comes from there nowadays.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

I would not be relying on a prenuptial agreement to protect my pre-marriage assets; they seem to be increasingly challenged in and dismissed by the courts - the argument being they were executed under "emotional duress" and thus not a valid contract.

As is said here, your best and likely only option is to use selection tools and choose wisely in a wife, or do not marry, or even cohabitate if you are in a jurisdiction where common law marriage rules apply.

 

[azanon]

If at all possible, I'd recommend avoiding the issue all-together (assuming you want to marry), by either marrying into money, or marrying a career woman who's career is every bit as lucrative as yours. I did the latter. If my wife ended up with half, given what's she's made and how's she help on other things I don't do.... I'd say that's about her fair share.

In hindsight (and if I were suddenly single for an unforseen reason), there's no way in the world I'd marry a woman who brought nothing of financial substance into the equation. HB10 + nothing else = only marriage material for the fool. I like women as much as the next man, but not so much that I'd put half my (our) current net worth on the line!

In contrast, I wonder how many men here griping about this issue here from time to time have extremely modest jobs/assets and are worried about a woman taking essentially nothing. I watch Judge Judy when I get home sometime. I've seen more "loser" guys on that show financially taking advantage of dumb women than I can shake a stick at.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

I would not be relying on a prenuptial agreement to protect my pre-marriage assets; they seem to be increasingly challenged in and dismissed by the courts - the argument being they were executed under "emotional duress" and thus not a valid contract.

As is said here, your best and likely only option is to use selection tools and choose wisely in a wife, or do not marry, or even cohabitate if you are in a jurisdiction where common law marriage rules apply.

Pre nups get dismissed by the courts? How can this happen? What's the point of them then.

How do you even create a pre nup? You have to hire a lawyer right?

 

[Colossus]

Divorces are messy and complicated. Typically one or more of the following will happen:

-She is entitled (and will get) half of all assets acquired during marriage.

-If she did not work while you were married, you will owe her a fair monthly sum so she can survive on her own without your provisioning.

-If you earned a degree during your marriage and she was working to pay most of the bills, she is entitled to a sizeable portion of your assets aquired through your new career.

-Whether or not she gets primary custody of the children you still have to give her money. If she has them----more money.

-Even if SHE initiated the divorce despite you wanting to remain married, and the divorce went through, you may still have to pay her money.

It's not as simple as "just get a pre-nup", because that mainly protects what you have going into the marriage, not what you aquire while married. A far better solution would be to not sign a marriage license. You can still get married and even have a marriage certificate, but without a marriage license it will not be recognized by the state, and thus not be subject to the legal proceedings of a divorce. Unfortunately, you would not get any tax or insurance benefits without a marriage license.

Unless a guy really wants a family, I think most men would have happier lives if they did not get married.

Also I think BibleBelt has a law degree, so he might know these laws better.

 

[ChumpNoMore]

Pre nups get dismissed by the courts? How can this happen? What's the point of them then.

How do you even create a pre nup? You have to hire a lawyer right?

Some background here:

http://wiki.lawdepot.com/wiki/Prenuptial_Agreement_FAQ_-_United_States

 

[Duffdog]

A common theme among my friends who are from Armenia is to have EVERYTHING the male owns in the name of the parents. There are no assets and nothing which was ever acquired is named to the son getting married. Many of them have absolutely nothing in their name and have no bank account, so they pay no taxes. The wife typically handles most of the business deals, so if she decided to divorce and leave, it is the male who has the lesser asset count.

 

[jophil28]

. The wife typically handles most of the business deals, so if she decided to divorce and leave, it is the male who has the lesser asset count.

So they encourage men to live like a woman's employee even in the old country ?

After a marriage, one of the first actions of a weakling is to hand over the checkbook to his wife.
Men who do this probably believe that she is better at "bookkeeping" than he is. However, this arrangement is a power tranfer.
She is now in control of the results of your labor. She controls the disbursement and disposal of your wealth and assets..
He makes it, she decides how it is spent. Who works for whose benefit here ?
Is it any wonder that such an arrangement produces a sense of asset 'ownership' in women after a divorce?