I'll check my diary and get back to you

[Austin Allegro]

I've had this a couple of times from girls.

I get their number, give them a call, chat for a bit and try to set up a date.

They then come out with something like 'I don't have my diary on me' or 'I have to check with xyz, can I get back to you'.

Then a day or so later I get a voicemail, email or text message saying 'sorry, can't make it'.

I know the bible says if she doesn't suggest an alternative, she is not interested.

But is this a viable assumption? Shouldn't we 'make the hoe say no'?

I am confused between whether this is a sh1t test or a brush off. Because I don't want to appear too eager or desperate, I've said 'fine, ok, get back to me or I'll give you a call tomorrow to check'.

What I want to know is, IF I went all hard on her and said something like 'my time is valuable, I have other committments so I'd appreciate you making a decision right now' what would happen?

a) would this pass the sh1t test and impress them, making them want to go out with me.

b) would they just want to avoid confrontation and agree to a date, giving me a chance to impress them and increase IL, or

c) make them angry or flake out in some other way like agreeing to a date but standing me up?

I would assume it would be C or possibly B. Just wondered if anyone has experience of this before I try it for real.

 

[bp1974]

d) They'd think you can't take the hint and resent you for forcing them to say no.

If a girl says "Let me get back to you", you're going nowhere.

The only way it could be possible to turn it round is at that moment, when you've asked her out and she's given you some BS, to say something like "No, if you were serious you'd make a date with me now. Do you want to make a date? / See you around". Pick your own ending.

 

[Austin Allegro]

BP1974, that was my instinct, but I wondered if that was some sort of AFC throwback and I should just, as the Americans would say, 'grab my balls' and be a bit more forceful.

I'm always polite with these rebuffs and I wonder if I'm TOO polite sometimes, making me appear Mr Nice and therefore a turn off.

 

[bp1974]

This is the thing. They rely on you being too polite to tell them you think they're blowing you off. You don't have to be rude or get angry or anything, just laugh and say "Nah, if you were serious you'd make a date now. Nice meeting you though." or whatever. Smile and walk away.

Sometimes that's enough for them to rethink, because you're not acting how they were expecting. And if they were just playing games, they might stop and actually make a date. Rare, but possible. Either way you win.

Whereas accepting what they said and then having to wait for them to call to let you know what they've decided is the AFC way. It's not about balls, just about finding out what you want to know in a playful, happy-go-lucky way.

Edit: Woohoo! Me Master now. I need a more interesting job.

 

[Austin Allegro]

BP that is just the advice I need. I like the idea of an each way win!
ps congrats on your commission as master

 

[Walden]

BP That's 2 for 2 man , the second post of yours today that I've printed for my Djing scrapbook.

 

[NatureGuy]

Why do you need a clever "thowback"?
It should be obvious she's not interested,
and she has a right to not be interested
in you, so what's the point? Trying to
think of a clever comeback sounds wimpy
to me at least.