Do I Have BPD?

[Tenacity]

Just been thinking this over after doing some more research on this: http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/what-is-bpd/bpd-overview/

I guess this thread would go along with my Anger Issues Thread. As mentioned before, I know I have internal issues and I'm constantly trying to work through them. From reviewing more information on BPD, I wonder do I have this?

The overview of the condition describes my "anger episodes" pretty accurately. I would go off in a storm on damn near all of my personal/private relationships, then within that same day I would calm back down. The only issue though is that at least 50% of my private relationships will be damaged in the process and when I "calm down" it's too late.

Looking at BPD even closer, it does talk about having some sort of childhood abuse, and I was bullied during Grade School. I don't believe the bullying was as BAD as others report, but it was still bullying. It was more of a verbal roasting type of situation that created extreme feelings of "worthlessness" inside of me that quite honestly still exist today.

I swear I could be having the best month in terms of productivity ever....I could be hitting sales goals, fitness goals, my car is shining, I'm pulling HB7s......but I would still feel completely and utterly "worthless".....I would feel like I wasn't shyt.

The basis of what triggers the anger episodes does come from this internal dark place that I have, but at the same time these feelings didn't just come out of nowhere....they come from real-life based bullshyt I've been through.

I don't know, just throwing this question out there. Like I've said since I've been posting here, I'm nobody's role model....I know I'm fvcked up internally.

 

[guru1000]

You don't. But you are an attention wh0re.

 

[Tenacity]

Possibly.What do you say when you get mad? The usual insults or really deep, personal insults that are basically designed to push ppl away? Do you have suicidal thoughts? Ever attempted suicide? Do you NEED to be with a woman all the time? Do you heavily idealize your partner and then split them totally black? Btw the trauma would be from lack of connection with your parents.

My guess is you're just manic depressive/bipolar, which mimics the BPD mood swings and splitting, but depends.

I would say yes to most of this, the only thing I'm confused about is that the "symptoms" of BPD seem like stuff that anybody in today's market would have?

- I mean folks are coming out with $100k in student loan debt and no job, wouldn't that make anybody have mood swings?

- You want to get married and settled down, but are afraid your "soul mate" is going to flip on you one day and take half your shyt, wouldn't that make anybody paranoid?

I don't know, just sorting things out. One thing that is for sure, I can say I do crave attention like Guru said lol. But that does work in my favor seeing as though a big part of my current position has been a "sales component" with the focus on presentations and speaking/verbal performance.

 

[ZTIME]

It's funny how on this forum we put letters to describe problems.

We buy into the pharma culture...... I have ADHD, BPD, etc. etc.

You faced your biggest challenges and overcame them. You lived in a car and became college educated. You beat what the "normal" black male has going against him.

Don't self diagnose..........heal from within.

You've conquered the hardest things in life.......now set up your life to win.

You say red pill, I say aware. Challenge yourself like you did back in the day.

You know how to win.....you forgot how to apply the rules.

Much love brother, be blessed.

 

[Sho-No-Luv]

Eh, possibly. I got to the point if I went to see a doctor for any reeason at all, after talking to them for a while, that want to prescribe prozac for me.

I took it for six months and just decided to own up to my problems, so now I have bottles and bottles of prozac laying around.

To bad prozac doesn't get you high damn! Lol

With that being said I honestly suspect that you probably have some type of personality disorder. But, for some reason I can relate..

 

[guru1000]

I've been diagnosed with "entitlement," "grandiosity," "xyz," "zyx" ...

The doc went on to say, "Hey Guru. You know, it's ok to be average. You don't have to be the best."

LOL. I replied, "Thanks Doc, but I'd rather be crazy..."

Very few overachievers are normal.

Embrace your insanity shamelessly. You have to see the priceless looks on the faces when I'm negotiating a deal and the respondent says, "Hey, Guru, seriously, are you crazy?" I always respond, "Yes, I am."

 

[The Duke]

There are some online questionnaires you can take that help diagnose social disorders.

 

[SuckItUp]

Simple answer: No

The irony of BPD is a lack of self awareness and empathy. The fact that you are self aware enough to ask that question almost assuredly eliminates you from being BPD.

The reason people with BPD are so hard to cure is that they don't believe anything is wrong. After all how do you tell someone that the way you think is completely wrong.

BPD suffers have stunted emotional growth and revert to childlike behaviors when dealing with uncomfortable issues. You may hear them using baby talk or throwing temper tantrums in response to events that are innocuous.

BPD is as known as emotional regulation disorder because BPDs have extreme responses to tribal occurances.

For example, you get in a small fender bender and most people would be concerned about your health and not worry about the details. A BPD doesn't even bother to ask if you are ok and starts yelling at you for getting into an accident as if it is your fault.