One thing that always got in my way with girls was jealousy. I always saw how it affected not only my relationships but the relationships of everyone around me. It seemed that as I was becoming more of a DJ and getting more girls in my life, jealousy always would consume me in some form. I thought I could hide it by saying to myself “Oh, I’ll just ask her questions to find out the truth and she’ll never be able to tell that I’m jealous.” Not only was that completely wrong, but I was actually making myself look like MORE of an AFC by “asking questions” and beating around the bush to find out the truth rather than just saying that I thought she might be lieing (being subtle is AFC).
If you’ve been on this site for more then a month then you probably know that the two things that will change a woman from being in “love” with you to not acknowledging you is desperation and insecurity. Any act or thought of jelousy basically just says directly to the girl I AM DESPERATE AND INSECURE in this situation. “Basically, I don’t have enough confidence so I’m worried that you’re finding another guy better in some way.” Do you think a DJ worries about competition? If he does feel himself becoming the least bit jealous he sees the red flag for what it is and realizes that he needs to get to work on himself so that there’s no competition. Sometimes girls will blatantly try to make me jealous to test me and see if its all an act. When I respond with indifference she gets angry because her witchcraft doesn’t work on me.
If a girl cheats on you or rejects you it is your fault. If she was completely satisfied with you do you think she would cheat on you or reject you. When this happens it’s basically telling you that you need to focus more on self improvement then what this ho is thinking. When my ex girlfriend cheated on me, I completely changed as a person. I had a blinding motivation to make her wish she had never turned her back on me. I isolated myself and became so focused on myself that within a week I didn’t even care about her anymore because I felt so amazing. Later down the road I made contact with her again. When she saw my new girlfriend and saw what I had become, she couldn’t control herself. She would get drunk and call me and leave these sad pathetic messages on a weekly basis. If a girl turns her back on you it’s just a sign that you need to focus more on yourself.
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How a Don Juan deals with jealousy:
Be too big to feal threatened
This is like a magical antidote to all jealousy and insecurity. Act as if. Just try it and watch how she responds. You will optimize your attraction by viewing her little games as childs play. She won’t want to cheat on you ever.
I focus on her winning me not me winning her, I could really care less because I have other girls to take this ones spot. Girls come and go in and out of your life like characters in a play.
When you complain/remark and then STAY with her, you are showing your desperation. You are telling her that you’re not happy with something yet you will put up with it and supplicate to her which is pretty much the root of AFCism. Just remain positive and don’t dwell on something this way she won’t hide things and if there is something going on that isn’t right it will be clear. If you’re going to complain/whine you need to BREAK UP/NEXT her. The worst thing you tell an alcoholic is not to drink.
After all, the more DISINTERESTED we are to women the more she accepts that as a challenge and pursue.
DON'T jump to conclusions or give in to delusions without conclusive, solid proof. Innocent until proven guilty. Suspicion is sure to kill your relationship as surely as if she did in fact cheat on you.
PROBLEM: Your chick is seen with another guy! How do you play it?
CLUELESS: Hey! Are you flirting with him? What is going on here!?
PLAYER: Hmm! So what’s the story with him?
DON JUAN: Hey! You like Baseball? I have another ticket if you want to go!
“A Don Juan interacts with everyone. The best way to ward off a threat is to befriend it. Whatever you do, do not act jealous.” -Pook
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Don Juans on Jealousy:
(the best posts I could find on this site dealing with this subject)
Everything was fine. I go out with my work folks all the time. My and my gf go on guy's nights and girl's nights all the time. She flirts and I flirt. She has guy clients that hit on her constantly at work. I talk to girls and secretaries and such frequently in my line of work. She will ALWAYS come back to me because I'm not the least bit jealous. Your girl would probably have never thought to cheat if you had acted secure. But you didn't, and now you've lost some respect. You better back off now, and start acting like you have a set. This is life, pal. You can't control a person. Slavery is over and done.
There is nothing, NOTHING, you can say or do to make her stay loyal to you, if she doesn't want to. All you can do is be secure in yourself and don't take any sh1t.
The angle that most of you are taking is that she's gonna meet some other guy and cheat, unless you watch her every move or keep her at home. Where is the "prize" mentality in all this? you should be of the attitude that you are her man and no one pleases her more.... AND actually be that person.
Remember that 90% of the guys she's gonna meet are chumps.
I believe you mentioned a scenario about the girl going out with guy friends while the Bf is home playing Playstation???? WTF is that? Someone who sits around playing that thing all the time deserves to have his girl go out and find someone better.
where do some of ye people work? I've worked in bars and in companies where going for a few drinks after work was the done thing. As an example, I was in a graduate program in ireland. Female co - workers WITH boyfriends used to come out with us every second week. There was flirting going on (oh the horror) but nothing ever happened! How can people go through life imagined the worst possible outcome to every scenario?
I think some of the posters are having a problem making a distinction between playing it cool, and being secure, and letting a woman get away with anything she wants.
I mean, where does it end? You don't say anything when she goes drinking with co-workers, you don't say anything when a guy drives her home, you don't say anything when a guy hits on her, you don't say anything if she blatantly disrespects you.
I guess the psychology behind that thinking is if you ever show jealousy or concern, then you're making yourself less attractive in the woman's eyes.
But like I said, where does it end? Where do you draw the line and say so and so behavior is simply unacceptable? I'm all for not being jealous, but what some of you guys are saying sounds ridiculous. I mean couldn't the woman just as easily construe your indifference for not caring? Isn't that going to make you unattractive to her?
There has to be a happy medium between being a jealous, possessive *******, and some idiot who just lets his gf do whatever she wants. I think when you can find that compromise, you're in the right ball park.
P.S. Did anyone notice poop dawg's hypocrisy in the above post? First he says this dude is being insecure and unattractive because his gf "crossed his personal line", yet says when a girl does "cross your line" you should tell her to get lost. Isn't that what I've been saying all along? Obviously he wasn't comfortable with her decision, that's why I told him to tell the bytch to take a hike.
to the OP. you shouldnt ask advice on this subject on here. some of these guys are way more fvcked up and insecure than any hor.
also, you shouldnt have anythng to fear. if your girl likes you that much than she wouldnt be stupid enough to risk losing you by going after some random piece of d1ck. if she cares and respects you then she wont cheat. almost all girls get texts from random AFC's tryin to get with her. it's an expecting thing, especially if she's hot. dont worry yourself about it too much. dont listen to the insecure nutjobs that tell you that all women are hors and cheat, because it's not true. women are human just like men, we all make the same mistakes. Have a happy relationship with your girl and enjoy it. dont kill the fun because of fear. dont worry about her. like yuo said, if she cheats then you'll drop her and be done. that simple
If you’ve been on this site for more then a month then you probably know that the two things that will change a woman from being in “love” with you to not acknowledging you is desperation and insecurity. Any act or thought of jelousy basically just says directly to the girl I AM DESPERATE AND INSECURE in this situation. “Basically, I don’t have enough confidence so I’m worried that you’re finding another guy better in some way.” Do you think a DJ worries about competition? If he does feel himself becoming the least bit jealous he sees the red flag for what it is and realizes that he needs to get to work on himself so that there’s no competition. Sometimes girls will blatantly try to make me jealous to test me and see if its all an act. When I respond with indifference she gets angry because her witchcraft doesn’t work on me.
If a girl cheats on you or rejects you it is your fault. If she was completely satisfied with you do you think she would cheat on you or reject you. When this happens it’s basically telling you that you need to focus more on self improvement then what this ho is thinking. When my ex girlfriend cheated on me, I completely changed as a person. I had a blinding motivation to make her wish she had never turned her back on me. I isolated myself and became so focused on myself that within a week I didn’t even care about her anymore because I felt so amazing. Later down the road I made contact with her again. When she saw my new girlfriend and saw what I had become, she couldn’t control herself. She would get drunk and call me and leave these sad pathetic messages on a weekly basis. If a girl turns her back on you it’s just a sign that you need to focus more on yourself.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
How a Don Juan deals with jealousy:
Be too big to feal threatened
This is like a magical antidote to all jealousy and insecurity. Act as if. Just try it and watch how she responds. You will optimize your attraction by viewing her little games as childs play. She won’t want to cheat on you ever.
I focus on her winning me not me winning her, I could really care less because I have other girls to take this ones spot. Girls come and go in and out of your life like characters in a play.
When you complain/remark and then STAY with her, you are showing your desperation. You are telling her that you’re not happy with something yet you will put up with it and supplicate to her which is pretty much the root of AFCism. Just remain positive and don’t dwell on something this way she won’t hide things and if there is something going on that isn’t right it will be clear. If you’re going to complain/whine you need to BREAK UP/NEXT her. The worst thing you tell an alcoholic is not to drink.
After all, the more DISINTERESTED we are to women the more she accepts that as a challenge and pursue.
DON'T jump to conclusions or give in to delusions without conclusive, solid proof. Innocent until proven guilty. Suspicion is sure to kill your relationship as surely as if she did in fact cheat on you.
PROBLEM: Your chick is seen with another guy! How do you play it?
CLUELESS: Hey! Are you flirting with him? What is going on here!?
PLAYER: Hmm! So what’s the story with him?
DON JUAN: Hey! You like Baseball? I have another ticket if you want to go!
“A Don Juan interacts with everyone. The best way to ward off a threat is to befriend it. Whatever you do, do not act jealous.” -Pook
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don Juans on Jealousy:
(the best posts I could find on this site dealing with this subject)
Everything was fine. I go out with my work folks all the time. My and my gf go on guy's nights and girl's nights all the time. She flirts and I flirt. She has guy clients that hit on her constantly at work. I talk to girls and secretaries and such frequently in my line of work. She will ALWAYS come back to me because I'm not the least bit jealous. Your girl would probably have never thought to cheat if you had acted secure. But you didn't, and now you've lost some respect. You better back off now, and start acting like you have a set. This is life, pal. You can't control a person. Slavery is over and done.
There is nothing, NOTHING, you can say or do to make her stay loyal to you, if she doesn't want to. All you can do is be secure in yourself and don't take any sh1t.
The angle that most of you are taking is that she's gonna meet some other guy and cheat, unless you watch her every move or keep her at home. Where is the "prize" mentality in all this? you should be of the attitude that you are her man and no one pleases her more.... AND actually be that person.
Remember that 90% of the guys she's gonna meet are chumps.
I believe you mentioned a scenario about the girl going out with guy friends while the Bf is home playing Playstation???? WTF is that? Someone who sits around playing that thing all the time deserves to have his girl go out and find someone better.
where do some of ye people work? I've worked in bars and in companies where going for a few drinks after work was the done thing. As an example, I was in a graduate program in ireland. Female co - workers WITH boyfriends used to come out with us every second week. There was flirting going on (oh the horror) but nothing ever happened! How can people go through life imagined the worst possible outcome to every scenario?
I think some of the posters are having a problem making a distinction between playing it cool, and being secure, and letting a woman get away with anything she wants.
I mean, where does it end? You don't say anything when she goes drinking with co-workers, you don't say anything when a guy drives her home, you don't say anything when a guy hits on her, you don't say anything if she blatantly disrespects you.
I guess the psychology behind that thinking is if you ever show jealousy or concern, then you're making yourself less attractive in the woman's eyes.
But like I said, where does it end? Where do you draw the line and say so and so behavior is simply unacceptable? I'm all for not being jealous, but what some of you guys are saying sounds ridiculous. I mean couldn't the woman just as easily construe your indifference for not caring? Isn't that going to make you unattractive to her?
There has to be a happy medium between being a jealous, possessive *******, and some idiot who just lets his gf do whatever she wants. I think when you can find that compromise, you're in the right ball park.
P.S. Did anyone notice poop dawg's hypocrisy in the above post? First he says this dude is being insecure and unattractive because his gf "crossed his personal line", yet says when a girl does "cross your line" you should tell her to get lost. Isn't that what I've been saying all along? Obviously he wasn't comfortable with her decision, that's why I told him to tell the bytch to take a hike.
to the OP. you shouldnt ask advice on this subject on here. some of these guys are way more fvcked up and insecure than any hor.
also, you shouldnt have anythng to fear. if your girl likes you that much than she wouldnt be stupid enough to risk losing you by going after some random piece of d1ck. if she cares and respects you then she wont cheat. almost all girls get texts from random AFC's tryin to get with her. it's an expecting thing, especially if she's hot. dont worry yourself about it too much. dont listen to the insecure nutjobs that tell you that all women are hors and cheat, because it's not true. women are human just like men, we all make the same mistakes. Have a happy relationship with your girl and enjoy it. dont kill the fun because of fear. dont worry about her. like yuo said, if she cheats then you'll drop her and be done. that simple
