Dumped because of the upcoming summer. About to start FWB. HELP?

Backround information:

*Started dating January 2006.
*Everything was going smooth, I rocked her world, she rocked mine.
*She was a girl of opportunities, very attractive, always up for meeting new people, always friendly to everyone.
*I came into her world, we both clicked very well, she came into the relationship saying that she wants it to last a long time, and not based on physically activities (sex).

It's been about a week since we've been broken up completely. 4 days without seeing each other in person.

Story:

I'll admit it. We spent too much time together, but it felt right. We had smiles on our faces the whole time we spent together. We started to become very emotionally attracted to each other. Too far to the point where we couldn't be 2 ft away from each other. We both couldn't go out somewhere without each other worrying about each other. We started to get stuck in this bubble. But we we very extremely happy. We had sex, never overdone that. We would always talk about the future and this summer.

After our 2 months, She went on a trip to Germany for 10 days. We had good bye sex (her idea) She cried because she didn't want to leave me for 10 days. We had a great good-bye. During the trip she called me 2 times crying about how she misses me. She then started hanging around clubs/bars and had a lot of time feeling free. She become real close to a new friend (a girl) who was single at the time.

She comes back from the trip and tells me it was a life changing experience and she feels different but we are still feeling the same way about each other and everything seems cool. Then she still continues to hang out with this new girl (who is single) and they talk about her situation with me. She persuades her that she can have sooo much fun this summer without being tied down to me. On a friday I took her to school, we're talking about the summer and how it's going to be fun together. She texts me this:
"Guess... what! I loove you!," In the middle of the day.
2 hours later, I replied, "Aw, i luv you too." Then she replies back.. "Hey can we talk like right when i'm done from work tonight"

Then she initiates a break with me which is shocking and heart wrentching to me. Because it's all a surprise to me. It seems like she was afraid to fall for me.

We talk about her break... and i'm like WTF WHY.. and she's just being a ***** like saying, "Why can't you just accept that i want a break."

I'll admit. I didn't take it too good. I got into a depression state during our break. I felt upset, lost my appetite, lost weight, felt so unhappy.

Day 2 of my break: I ignored her phone calls and text messages all day until 9PM. She called me 10 times from 3 different phones, had 2 of her friends call me and tell me to pick up the phone. I didn't answer any of those. She was begging for me! I eventually answer the phone @ 9:00PM. She tells me that she can no longer go on this break with and needs me back in my life. I told her i need her back in mine too. She cried, I felt a sigh of relief.

We made up over the phone only! We didn't see each other in person. BIG MISTAKE!

The next day we were talking and and acting like everything was cool... but it was not! It was awkward as hell. She told me she needs more time. I told her to come to me in person, don't talk to me on the phone or online. I told her to come to me in person when you want to talk to me.
She decides later that night that she doesn't want a boyfriend any more because she doesn't want to be tied up during the summer. She explains how she is still young and doesn't want to be held down. BUT she still wants me in her life and doesn't want to move on to any other boys. She still has high feelings for me.

EDIT:

Here my more to my problem:

After the breakup, she still would always call me, I started to agree with her saying that our relationship was getting to serious. and but we both were in extreme happyness. I told her that it would be cool to still have the same closeness and what not and have a more relaxed worry free relationship. I inferred a relationship based on fun and worry free to her a bunch of times when we talked in person. And i was content with that, because we both agreed to hang out and have fun together. She's usually crazy and I am thinking that i can turn this into a FWB relationship.

So she thought it was wierd that i went from a emotional upset person to agreeing with her and she said she didn't know if she was ready to hang out with me as friends yet. So we didn't plan anytime to hang.

Now we talked and we started acting our normal selves again and having great conversations.. bringing up the past and teasing each other. I told her i'll take her out this wednesday.

This is what I want: Become her boyfriend again, but worry free and less attachment, just focus on quality fun. Or an open relationship FWB to where we just worry about rocking each others world without the mushy GF/BF stuff and then potentially get back into that later when school or something picks up.

Either way i want her back but i don't want to waste my time and money on this chick if i'm not getting laid. I don't want to be the boyfriend that doesn' get any...

But I will give it her power to ask me back out, Since she broke up with me. I will not ask her back out.

ok, so what's the problem?

girlsarecrazy said:

Then she initiates a break with me which is shocking and heart wrentching to me. Because it's all a surprise to me. It seems like she was afraid to fall for me.

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She wasn't afraid to fall for you but I believe that she got too comfortable around you, since the two of you have been spending so much time together without keeping a healthy boundries between the two of you.

I wouldn't be surprised if her new single female friend had her hand in this as well. Often single girls push other girls with bf's to break up with them because they are jealous and feeling left out. She probably introduced your ex-girlfriend to a whole new crowd and whispers to her about girls night out in the summer time and the excitment of hooking up with other men. This happened to a buddy of mine when his g/f went to cuba with another girl (who also had a boyfriend) and apperently they did some kind of a pact because when they came back both girls broke up with their boyfriend's in the same week.

girlsarecrazy said:

She tells me that she can no longer go on this break with and needs me back in my life. I told her i need her back in mine too. She cried, I felt a sigh of relief.

We made up over the phone only! We didn't see each other in person. BIG MISTAKE!

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You should never accept a chick that just dumped you back. You needed to establish earlier in the relationship that you do not put up with bullsh1t and that you have no problem walking away forever out of her life if she fvcks up. Well she fvcks up and you accepted her back which made her think " hmm that was so easy I don't need a guy that I can treat like a yoyo"

I say ditch the b1tch and have some pride and respect for yourself

DJD

Well, I can see your point, Damage, but if they were only broken up for ONE DAY, and the girl had to go to the trouble of calling him a dozen times to get him back, it seems to me that that everything is pretty good now and he handled things fairly well.

However, maybe you're right that some extra attraction is needed to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. Perhaps become busier, have more self-respect, supplicate less, etc.

I don't see why you'd want to dump her if you both seem to want each other, but do what you can to make yourself need her less and to make her need you more.

Obsidian said:

Well, I can see your point, Damage, but if they were only broken up for ONE DAY, and the girl had to go to the trouble of calling him a dozen times to get him back, it seems to me that that everything is pretty good now and he handled things fairly well.

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It doesn't matter if they were broken up for a week, a day or an hour! as soon as those words came out of her mouth that should have been it. If a woman is able to break up with you and then you accept her back you pretty much lost any power or respect you had with her and its only a matter of time before things go sour again.

girlsarecrazy said:

She tells me that she can no longer go on this break with and needs me back in my life. I told her i need her back in mine too. She cried, I felt a sigh of relief.

The next day we were talking and and acting like everything was cool... but it was not! It was awkward as hell. She told me she needs more time.

She decides later that night that she doesn't want a boyfriend

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THE DEFENCE RESTS!

girlsarecrazy everything your ex told you about the reason for the breakup was nicely packaged and sugar coated. She did this so she won't feel bad about herself (she outburden the guilt away from her) and by accepting her friendship you ultimatley fulfilled that goal.

This acceptence of friendship by the girl you have strong feelings for will drive you even more insane

edit: You keep changing your story: now she has agreed to be you Fvckbuddy??!! this chick is having her cake and eating it too (in case she doesn't find a better suitor she can always fall back on you) - I would refuse to accept her back and in the meantime you are fvcking her you should find other girls to replace her as well (WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE ITS GOOD FOR THE GANTER!)

I think she was pressured by her single friend to and just wanted to try and force herself to get over it.. But she wasn't over it.. and i couldn't get over her that easy. I felt like death. I wanted her back and start things over. She wants the same I believe too.

The thing is: We go to the same school, we live 5 minutes away. We are going to see each other anyway. And she doesn't want me to move on.

NOW:
She just called me crying because she got in a fight with her parents and she wanted me to come over asap. I didn't go over though, it's too late at night.

DJDamage said:

It doesn't matter if they were broken up for a week, a day or an hour! as soon as those words came out of her mouth that should have been it. If a woman is able to break up with you and then you accept her back you pretty much lost any power or respect you had with her and its only a matter of time before things go sour again.



THE DEFENCE RESTS!

girlsarecrazy everything your ex told you about the reason for the breakup was nicely packaged and sugar coated. She did this so she won't feel bad about herself (she outburden the guilt away from her) and by accepting her friendship you ultimatley fulfilled that goal.

This acceptence of friendship by the girl you have strong feelings for will drive you even more insane

I say banish her from your life and never see or speak to her again. But I got a feeling that you won't listen and continue with this friendship you signed with the devil. In months time you will realise by yourself the errors of your ways.

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I will not step out of my comfort zone if we do get back together, and I will be DJ'n the rest of the time now that i've read up on this.

The only reason i will get back with her she is amazingly beautiful, crazy, and i connect with her too well to let her go.

I'm a pretty blunt person so I'm going to lay it out for you without sounded cute.

Your acting like a fukin' chump right now!! If you look beyond the surface of this "relationship" this girl seems to have some issues going on that you don't know about. If she's so easily influenced by new friends coming in and out of her life, then she'll never be able to stand on her own two feet until she matures.

As Damage already said, you need to stand up for yourself when a girl breaks up with you. Taking her back like nothing happens only opens the door more to future manipulation and bullshyt (which appears to be already going on). The fact that your sooo emotionally distraught over someone you dated for barely 3 months (losing weight, not eating) shows that you were/are too attached to this byatch for your happiness....that's never good.


The question you pose is quiete lame! You can NEVER have a FB relationship with a girl who was your gf that will last. It doesn't go that way, it only goes from FB to GF. In addition to that your acting like the girl here and your waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too emotionally involved. In any case I think this girl will only bring you more pain than pleasure. You need to cut your losses and move on.



PIMP

I feel like i have changed so much as a person too. Right now. I'm having a ball playing around with my ex-girlfriend's mind. I'm not showing any interest in her and not treating her like i have before and she's generating this want for me like never before. I don't believe she was acting smart when she dumped me. She was very upset and felt in the same condition as me and her friend pressured to just let it go in hopes of her feeling better.. which it didn't. She is starting to realize she wants me more.

I'm not letting her go that easy because:

*She didn't cheat
*She didn't really make me made
*She's convient as a girlfriend and I don't have this many opportunities to find a steady girl after school let's out.
*It's the only thing i'm working with right now. I'm still trying to learn more out of this.
*I'm not emotionally connected with her like i was before. And i won't return to such a strong feeling for her either.
*I feel like it ended too quick, i want to get more out of her.

I've learned so much in the past 2 weeks and i'm willing to give her one more chance. That's it though. And with this other chance, i will follow in the words of wisdom from this message board. I will not step out of the game.

This chick was playing you like a fiddle, but you seem to be on the right road now. Ignore her. She can't just dump you and play with you like that but then leave her options open with you just in case her new *****y friend's ideas don't work out quite as planned.

You're her fallback. Don't accept that. Keep this FB relationship if that is what you have right now, but you've got to game other girls ASAP. Get over this chick. A FB relationship is by definition purely physical. You need to move on.

If she comes back to you for a relationship, realize that you weren't her first choice. But you shoulda been-- you are the prize. So forget that ***** if she tries to manipulate you any more. Until then, ride the pvssy train as far as you can.

You can play that game, too.

Yea.. thanks man.

Damn Im going through a very similiar thing to you gcrazy, i got dumped by gf after she came back from holiday although the signs were there that she was gonna do it before that. I went all afc and asked her to try again but she wasn't having it tho she was more upset about as i had to console her cause she was crying so much. We agreed to stay friends and stuff but i work at the same place with her so had to see her the next day and i was talking to her but it was very akward. thou we are still texting eachother.

Is it good to stay friends or shall i just ignore at work etc and move on?

I always let girls that i see or go out with if they say its over and thats what they want they had better mean it as i dont do this half mesaurse sh!t.

You are either all in or all out. Only FB if you dont have emotions for the person....otherwise it will FVCK WITH YOUR HEAD. Trust me....been there.

Think about your girl getting sticked by another bloke....make you want to throw up?

Tell her that shes either all in or all out. Then stick to the decison. Thats what i would do and i see it as a DJ way. Giving her a choice but whatever she does will have a reaction.

I'm not letting her go that easy because:

*She didn't cheat
*She didn't really make me made

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Thats great....you can get those from alot of girls. Use this as a chance to work on your DJ skills.

Plus.....your missing the BIGGEST minus of all....

*She is pissing you about with this break up **** and its causing you alot of stress.

Either SORT IT OUT with her or NEXT HER ASS!!!!!

Ok im done...

seize contact

in other words she wants to be a $lut fvck her you dont need her man, u can do better and will!

Her friend fvcked you over. Get her friend back. Tell her you don't like her friend and won't see her at all unless she dumps her friend.

Also, she wants to see other guys while keeping you around in case she needs a tampone or something. Start fvcking other women and don't hide it from her. Don't push it in her face, but don't hide it either.

Wake up.

Get rid of your emotions and trust your gut.

It's all ****ed up. Find someone else. There is nothing you can do with this chick except a little revenge for that **** that she pulled on you.

be the prize and shell beging for you soon

This may sound funny, but this whole scenario is incredibly familliar... Like I've read this story here, before a little while back.

The Bad Ass Canadian said:

This may sound funny, but this whole scenario is incredibly familliar... Like I've read this story here, before a little while back.

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that's because the orginal post was made in april