Sarging Alone!

To gain confidence and to become comfortable in my own skin, I'm going out alone for the first time tonight. I've never tried it before and am going to man it up and try it for the first time to get comfortable in my own skin.

What do you guys think of my approach:

Big open bar place I know where it's mostly mixed people ages 20-28; lots of em'.
1) Chat in line
2) Walk in, big smile
3) Approach bartender get 1 beer or 1 water
4) Look around for sets
5) EC
6) Approach
7) Opener
8) Eject with "...hey it was nice talking to you guys but I got to get
back to my friends."

:nervous: ...and if they ask where are my friends I'm hoping you guys can help me out here. I was thinking something along the lines of "..my friends are a bunch of lamos, so I felt like going out tonight and meeting cool new people."

Do 3-4 mixed sets get weird out by a random guy like myself approaching them for an opinion/statement on something?

I'm freaked out by going out alone, but I know I need to do this in the bootcamp to get a jump on my approaches with women.

BUMP

Could use your help guys, I'm going out a few hours from now after I've finished my taxes. I'll definately post a FR about this tomorrow.

Forget the ejection of going back to your friends. Just ask someone in the set for the time. See how they respond. Then act like you have to go. No explanation needed. Its my easy way out of a set that i see is going no where or stuck in. Thats it. Dont fake like you have friends waiting for you in the club in case they see you standing alone at the bar 5 mins later.

Ive gone out alone. It was scary as hell the first few times. Now i almost prefer it. I feel handicaped at times if i go out with a group of friends. Like i have to babysit or inclined to hang out with them. So if i do meet new and interesting people i can hang with them instead of having to "get back to my friends". Freedom to plan the rest of my night in 15 min incriments.

The best of luck to you sir.

Side note. Approaching mixed sets. Try not to make the same sex feel threatend by your approach. If your an outsider. Any guy that comes into my set that threatens my territory i amog or i boot them out pretty quick. If there not a threat then i let them in. Dont be fake. Once your in the set feel it out. There may be a female or 2 thats just there along for the ride. Not someones girl or someone another male in the group is gunning for. Once your settled in though then you can show more dominant traits and move from there.

Overall dont be afraid to be alone. Enjoy yourself. Show confidence the entire time. Act like you belong there. Also talking with bar tenders, staff, managers is another key when your alone. Once you know them on a personal basis they can give info on regulars. I once had a manager of the club near last call trying to hook me up with girls. Entertaining to say the least.

Just use the friends as part of your false time constraint, then don't go anywhere. Try to find seated sets. I have became the master of seated sets. I practically never fail at them despite being incredibly bold now. Do that. Seated sets rock for solo sarging. If you can get a good seat at the bar where lots of girls will stand next to you, that can be good to. I have gotten plenty of makeouts that way just sitting there talking to my neighbors.

What you don't want to do is endlessly circle like a shark or stand poker faced. You have to obey the 3 second rule and/or dig yourself into a seated set. The dance floor can also be a good place to get things started where you'll eventually try to move her to a table or leave with her to the hotel lobby/new venue/go get a bite/whatever comes up.

Hey resilent where are you at in California? If you are close enough to where I live,Sacramento, Id be happy to help you out.

Weak_Game – ya… it would be lame to eject and then have them see me standing alone again by the bar – point well taken.

everywomanshero – wow.. ya I feel really awkward when I walk around alone – I totally get that shark gaming seal feeling.

blinkwatt - thanks man. I'm actually at the far south of our state; san diego. I joined a wing men group off yahoo, but they're newbies in the game too. the good news is I'm going to Juggler's bootcamp in a few weeks. My confidence should respark there. Then from there I'll open up a 100 approach journal on here.

I'll let you guys know how it goes tonight. I'll try to have a FR here tomorrow sometime. Thanks for the advice -- I'll be doing my best to be comfortable and relaxed in my own skin.

FR: Big open bar, First solo sarge experience!

Wednesday 13th April 2006 10pm-12am
3 Set: HB5, HB6, Dude : 30 mins

It was 80s Hair Metal night at a big open bar. I chatted with various girls before the band was off stage. Mostly close-ended conversations because I couldn't really yell anything over the band. Once the band was off stage and everyone started to move and explore into the other room I stayed behind and joined a mixed set (2 girls, 1 guy). The blond(HB5) lived in PB locally and was the sister of her brother who was visiting on Spring Break from Minnesota along with the brunette (HB6) 21year old from Wisconsin. I couldn’t tell if the guy was dating the brunette or not since she seemed pretty put off first by my approach to the group. I spoke to the blond briefly about the band then I moved onto introductions to find out everyone’s name. I told a white lie that I was visiting my older brother from Phoenix and I’m studying graphic design at ASU. It was a stretch since I just finished college, but I wanted to find a way to relate to these people and had trouble being able to be comfortable with myself and tell them that I live locally and have been out of college for a year and that I was out alone tonight.

Conversation highlights:

HB6: You shake your hand firmly and formally, are you a businessman?
Me: No way, I told you I was a designer!
HB6: Yeah but…
Me: See!!!! It’s that Psych major of yours hard at play! Nice one! (kino)

Key factors:

- Followed 3-sec rule (after band split)
- Casual opener about the band
- Smooth transition into rapport
- Afraid to kino the blond
- Couldn’t interact with the brother
- C+F the brunette effectively
- Sarged alone (first time)
- Didn’t drink alcohol
- Too formal and “Nice”

Improve on:

- Could have kino the brunette better after her IOIs
- Use of banter
- Voice tone needed to be louder
- Articulating words (major sticking point here)
- Less jerky head motions in reactions

In Conclusion:
Wasn't so bad as I thought. Plenty of people jammed back into the big open bar room because of Spring Break so no one stared at me for being alone. I had a lot of fun and got rid of some of that social pressure, thanks for your help guys. Next time I hope to be more honest about being out alone.

In Conclusion:
Wasn't so bad as I thought. Plenty of people jammed back into the big open bar room because of Spring Break so no one stared at me for being alone. I had a lot of fun and got rid of some of that social pressure thanks for your help guys. Next time I hope to be more honest about being out alone.

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Thats all that matters. It gets more fun and better with practice. Good FR. I have no advice. Job well done.