I am probably going to be leaving sosuave.net for good very soon...

I have been informed that unless I learn to tolerate personal attacks and insults and not respond or defend myself that I am at risk to be banned.

If those who make those kinds of posts to me were not allowed to get away with these TOS violations I would not slap back at them in the way that I do. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is...as long as I have been a member here these insults and attacks have been allowed to be made without any consequences. As a result, anytime I do attempt to not respond it only leads to even more posters joining in and attacking at will. I'm not willing to tolerate that kind of treatment to continue to post here.

I would much prefer to not be attacked and insulted and not feel the need to respond...but I really don't have much choice. I've been here 5 years and each time I've sat back and not responded it has led to 3 times as many people making those attacks because I'm then viewed as an easy target. I won't do that.

I hope this thread will be allowed to stay long enough for those of you who have an opinion on whether or not you want me here to have a say. If most of you want me to leave...I will. If most of you value the input I offer, you should probably let Allen and the mods know. Whatever the case may be...I'm not going to sit back and allow myself to be the target of those who have a problem with me being here. So, the only way I will end up staying is if something is done about those who attack and insult me or I am allowed to continue to slap back when someone slaps at me.

So, yeah...post your thoughts if you have any. I'm not going to be making another post in this thread...I'm just going to read it. Perhaps that will help it stay open a bit longer.

Quick edit...

To those who say to alert the posts, I have tried that route numerous times. Unfortunately, the second I stop slapping back there are always 3 times as many posters who join in on the attacks who apparently are too afraid or intimidated by me to say anything when I'm responding. This creates a whole new dynamic...dozens of posts to alert. In the past, moderators have gotten ticked off at the number or alerts and even though I did not attack anyone I still end up getting blamed for the situation. Rather than delete all those posts, they are usually left up and entire threads get closed because of all the flames...again...this is even when I don't respond. Regardless of whether I stand my ground and hit back or ignore it and hit alert...it's still perceived as being my fault this happens. Basically...I can't win in this situation no matter what I do...even if I do what the moderators ask me to do.

Thanks for the input so far...it's appreciated.

Another Edit:

I'm not complaining about being attacked. If I were that weak of a person I would have left long ago. What I take issue with is that I'm being expected to do something no one else is being asked to do...put up with it and just shut up while it continues and I have to "submit" or "conform" while those who attack me basically get away with it. I DON'T want special treatment here. In fact...it's the opposite I want. I want to be treated like anyone else on this forum. I don't believe it's fair to ask me to just sit back, shut up and put up with abuse from some people. That's not something I'm willing to do.

I'm NOT looking for sympathy or even support from anyone here. I'm only asking if my input is valued or not. If it is, as it appears to be, I think it's important that Allen know that. And for the record, it wasn't Allen that sent me the PM telling me to basically put up with it or get banned. I suppose it's possible that the moderator who sent the PM to me could have made that threat without Allen knowing, but it's hard to say. I just wanted everyone to know if I do end up banned why it happened.

Whether anyone wants to stay or leave, I'm not too bothered about it. I do believe that the insults directed towards you are extremely childish and immature. But since it has all been directed at you and not me, I am not about to get involved in this. Until someone attacks me, I'm not going to retaliate. If the mods feels the need to do something, then very well. If they don't, then very well too.

I do not condone censorship though. If someone wants to act childish and immature, I'm not about to prevent them from doing so. Even if it is directed at me. The best part about letting people like this attack you is knowing that these people are beneath you. I find that once I lose all respect for a person, they become insignificant. Their words mean nothing, their inputs are worthless to me. They become extremely easy to ignore or rebut. Other people will know when someone is acting on pure emotion or when someone is acting on pure reason. Use this to your advantage. Don't 'lose' yourself so easily.

I like having you around, and I'd prefer that you don't leave.

On one hand, I can understand where the mods are coming from. There are certain personal attacks that can be ignored. You don't have to respond to every person that flames you. And I'm going to have to agree with FlippinFreak when he says that you have a habbit of doing that (I noticed it in the last thread).

However, the attack that started this whole thing was uncalled for and shouldn't be held against you. That's where I'm going to have to disagree with the mods. I would have been upset too. And quite franky, I think anyone on this forum would have been upset if that attack were on them.

Wyldfire don't take it so personal. it's a known fact that taking advice from women is a no-no. i've read your posts for many years and for a girl, their pretty cool. but it's like if i went into an all womens forum and started posting, alot of them would think i would be looking to cyber. it's all stereotyping.

look at it this way, i promote smoking and hell i take heat for it. does it bother me. nope. does it effect my game with women? hell no.

the point is if you like posting on the forum, then feel free. not everybody is going to be openminded. just because somebody has 800000 million posts doesn't mean their the almighty pickup artist cause if they were, they wouldn't be here. so have fun

Hey Wyldfire!

Before you leave, could you give me some tips on the "slap back" mentality?

I get them alot, and I do have a problem in real life in dealing with it constantly.

insanity said:

look at it this way, i promote smoking and hell i take heat for it.

Click to expand...

That just reminds me. I have to see that new movie "thank you for smoking" or whatever it's called.

yeah that movie looks really funny. kinda reminds me of myself. i did quit smoking for 6 months last year. i did it cold turkey. i just rolled into bed and sweated it out for 3 days. then i got done school and got a job and 15 minute breaks were just boring, and i had nothing to look foward to during work. hence i lit back up and heaven was back.

thats the addiction talking though. smoking is quite the demon possesion. when i get the death cough and it's not to late, then i'll quit for good. right now....smoke em' if ya got em

You have to understand that majority of this site is populated with men who have had little success with women and developed somewhat of a frustration/hate for the opposite sex and are very quick to lash out.

Also, add in the fact that this forum has evolved from a seduction community to a rant community. the discussion forum is a "post your female problems forum" and that the mature man forum is a "post your rants about feminists forum". If you read all these problem threads, you will never see women at their best, you will only read about the scenarios that show the worst kind of girls. As a result, whenever a female member tries to help out or offer advice, she will immediatly be considered as a part of the problem and be verbally attacked.

Picture a female forum populated with frustrated man-hating women who post about their man problems all day. If a guy posted there, they'd snip off his manhood in seconds. And if he were to defend himself against insults of being a pig, player, cheater, etc, they'd see his angry side and be quick to lump him in with all the bad men they post about. So in other words, the best thing he could do in such a situation would be to stay calm, defend your points, but not stoop down to personal attacks, and let the mods clean up the mess.

Unfortunately mods can't see all the flames and they don't notice them until the thread is usually 3+ pages long so this isn't really their fault. The best thing you can do is keep it civil at first, and if they go too far just report the thread to the mods as they will see it then before it gets out of hand. I know first hand that if you report it long enough they will get rid of the trolls, Allen is good when it comes to that.

I personally enjoy reading your posts. Not only do they give another perspective, but they are also quite thoughtful and to the point. Much more interesting than the majority of whiney posts on this board, in my opinion.

MindOverMatter has a point. A lot of people have found this board, and it is no longer a close-knit seduction board. Just don't take flames personally and report them to mods when it gets too out of hand.

We like having the woman here

Ive seen some of the posts against you. Im not really sure which ones offended you. I know 1 time i responded to you and i said something about single mothers about how they have to be careful, especially with raising guys, b/c theres a lot of room for those guys to go wrong b/c they dont see a realistic idea of manhood. I hope i didnt offend you with that.

None of us guys who have stuff going outside world, get real pleasure from sending a personal insult over the internet. How much of a loser do you have to be to do that? Sometimes it helps to be real to people so you help them see from a different perspective, what theyre doing. Those guys that do those personal insults to you are probably the nice-guys who have alot of anger and misogyny for how women have manipulated them sexually because they were trying to be nice-guys. The probably see you as a way to subconsciously relieve their anger toward the whole female population because of how women have puzz whipped them. Theyll probably just chuck up some lie about how they get sexed a girl last night, but know that you could say anything on the internet.

those guys at home making an insult at you on SS, probably then click their porn on another browser, and theyre gonna beat off b/c theyre so madd. Try to think about how they dont know anything about you, only what you give, so how could they make an accurate insult at you.

Nobody wants you to leave so please try to take the insults and contradict them, with how these guys have girls sending them to Rite Aid to buy feminine products b/c they dont want to take the chance of not getting some from her. I know this doesnt sound good coming from an 18 yr old guy but try to alienate yourself from the personal insults.

Why don't you do what my buddy did. Create your own podcast to blast any who attack you.

http://playersupreme.lisbyn.com

Listen to the attack of hung like a seahorse or something like that at the bottom.

It allows you to fire off your aggression and have the end laugh on the other person.

In fact his mentioning of SeaHorse in future episodes of his podcasts are pretty funny!

I haven't read much of you stuff WyldFire, but the things I have read I liked. And you are a women with good sense of what is going on in a guys mind and you don't bash the stuff this website encourages, you support it.

There isn't many people like you. And having you around to give another perspective on issues and advice is welcomed.

I'm not going to tell you don't take it personal, because that is like saying. Don't be hungry, when are are hungry. Solves nothing.

I would prefer you not leave, but thats just me.

Wyldfire, you're one of the voices of reason and balance here at sosuave, because we get carried away in our testosterone fantasyland sometimes. I don't always agree with what you say, but your role here is invaluable.

Stick around, if only at my request.

it's an internet forum

why do you always feel the need to defend yourself to anonymous faceless people?

maybe it's best for you to leave since you take this place so seriously

So...

Victory Unlimited arrives, and all the chicks start threatening to leave.

WTF???

Is it me? Is it my cologne? Was it my latest CHEESY war reference? Was it something I said? LOL

But seriously though, Wyldfire, I joined this board the end of last year. But I read it for 5 months and only JUST started contributing posts. One thing I can say for sure though is that I like having the occasional female perspective on things. I think it helps SHARPEN a lot of us guys' viewPOINTS.

Sometimes a moderate, or even an opposing view helps test our mettle. The truth survives the fire, while the Bullsh!t burns away like drowss. It's kinda' like tempering steal...

Almost 8,000 posts??? You obviously have had a lot to say.

Keep on sayin' it.

Silverback82 said:

it's an internet forum

why do you always feel the need to defend yourself to anonymous faceless people?

Click to expand...

Exactly. I agree with everyone that its important to have a womans opinion on some things on this forum, but wyldfyre, this is just ridiculous. I've been lurking on this forum for almost 3 years now, always switching from screen name to screen name, and I've seen some good posts from you. But this just goes back to the whole discussion with the stevera post and how you just have to get your way. You're trying to make us feel bad so that we'll talk to the mods and you get these people banned. What the ****? Nobody cares that people made fun of your kid. This is getting to be pretty lame.

Wyld,

I know there's a few people here who disagree with what you've had to say. Hell, I remember a (small) handful of posts where sh*t got pretty out of control.

I don't think you should leave.....if your going to, your going to, babe.

Listen, for the record, when I first came here almost two years ago with THE biggest, most pathetic case of one-itis and a complete lack of balls, you were there.

I guess I never gave you a formal thank you for obviously going out of your way to help me out when I could hardly think straight. Thank you.

You could benefit other people who have the same problems I used to have by sticking around. People will always disagree about things, especially on this subject. Don't let a few people make you tuck your tail and run, girl.

I hope you stay.

You seriously expect to be on a board full of males venting (which is perfectly natural, by the way) and not be attacked?

Ignore the venting (and it IS just that, and no, no-one is plotting your demise). If you can't, feel free to leave.

This isn't an ideal world. People come here and they like to vent their frustrations, and it won't (why should it? it's normal) stop.

I'm not saying you're wrong in feeling attacked... but come on, remember what message board this is, as well as who finds it and why they find it.

Wow! You're still around, huh? I joined back in 2001 too (but lost the password for that account, of course). Stick around a while longer.

If it makes you feel any better, I just got done posting on a forum where man v.s. man flaming is out of control. I can't even figure out why, because there are no women on the forum (of course, that might have just answered my question and possibly added another reason why we need you here). I'm done posting on that forum. The flaming there is 10x worse over there than it is over here. Plus, my posting home is here.

Anyway, while I was there - I mostly ignored the flaming, and I noticed that the flaming there isn't just against me. It's everyone v.s. everyone and their dead uncle. That's kind of what it is here. I've been flamed here. I'm sure that everyone has at one time or another. The only difference is that everyone here wants to believe that they are the most masculine, greatest PUA on this board. Which seems to set off a negative reaction when their ego is bursted. Especially if it's by a woman.

Also, someone said something earlier. The men here are trained not to take advice from women. There are a few articles on the main page that put emphasis on not taking advice from women. Unfortunatly, I wish more people would take David De'Angelo's book into consideration on the topic of taking advice from women. Because unlike many of the posts here, he says that it can be a good thing to talk to women about this kind of stuff.

Anyway, this thread shows that there are plenty of members who enjoy having you around.