The benefits of "nexting" on personal development

The idea of "nexting" women is frightening to a lot of guys because they believe they are going to lose their chances with a girl. Instead they keep persisting until they drive her away or at least keep hanging on and making themselves available on her whims. Afterall, what's to lose?

The problem is, when you persist with a woman who's giving you the brush off or showing you disrespect, you are not only playing to her whims, but you are developing a habit of swallowing your pride and putting yourself in a supplicating role with women. You might think you have nothing to lose by persisting with a girl, but this habit has a lasting and negative effect on your mentality. As long as you think this way, you will be looking at women as the prize.

However, when you get into the habit of nexting girls (with good reason), you are reinforcing a strong and positive mentality. You are taking away womankind's power to reject you and thus eliminating the fears; you are standing your ground and refusing to take any sh1t and developing the ability to move on. As a result you will build your confidence and realise that you won't be taken for granted and that YOU are the prize.

The idea is to change your perception of yourself from the selected/rejected to the selector/rejector.

Speaking from my own experience, I've nexted a number of hot women, including a lingerie model. I gave some a second chance, but they blew it, and I met someone else.

Maybe she's flakey, ignores your calls, flirts with other guys etc, but when you next her, you are affirming that she is not good enough (or just not suitable) for you or that she has blown HER chance to be with YOU. This is a positive habit that will help overcome your fears, build your confidence, open up more opportunities and reinforce your role as a man. As a bonus, it also makes you more desirable to women.



Sidenote: Don't get too trigger happy with nexting. It should only be done with good reason. Expect all women to have some faults.

great thread. 5stars.

"You might think you have nothing to lose by persisting with a girl, but this habit has a lasting and negative effect on your mentality."

so true!

Totally better to get out on your own violition instead of beating a dead horse and left wondering WHY??? It's like she's giving you obvious signs and the opportunity to NEXT her before she NEXTs you for her bad behavior or loss of interest.

Most guys are too blind when in "love" to step back and see that she's really disrespecting you by going out with other dudes or hanging with ex's at parties.

Nice post Jariel! It's such a good reminder to see that a man really shouldn't tolerate disrespect/disloyalty and he has the power to walk away anytime she starts crapping all over the carpet.

I went on a blind date a month back. We met at a local Chili's and had a few beers. She was about a HB 8 and kinda uptight with me.

There were times when I found myself scrambling to find things to talk about, because she wasn't very interesting at all, and was beginning to act distant.

She decided that she wanted some nachos. So I signaled our waiter across the resturant with a single glance and head nod. He came over and took her order.

When he walked off, she gave me this disgusted look..."OH MY GOD... did you just MAN NOD?" she asked..

I was stupified that she would look at me in that way and ask that question.

I said very confidently "Yeah", and began explaining to her the variations of the "man nod"
like she was a stupid ass.

She kept looking at me like she was offended.

I never said another word as she ate her nachos.

As soon as she looked like she was done I asked,
"are you done eating?"
"Yeah"
I looked at the waiter, gave him another "man nod" and asked him for the check.

Suddenly, she started scrambling like a desperate beggar. She started smiling and trying to strike up her first conversation WITH me not AGAINST me.

I was enjoying myself so much as she followed behind me into the parking lot, blabbering about what a GREAT TIME SHE HAD.

I yawned close enough to her face where she could probably smell it. And told her Id see her later. She was smiling and told me to call her sometime.

I'm gonna let her marinate.....

If there's one piece of SS terminolgy that you need to introduce a woman to, it's 'Next!'

Make it clear early on that if she misbehaves there's a line of eager applicants waiting to take her place. Even after sex, or when you see her to the door, joke about 'ok you better go I got another girl coming round in a minute.'

Another good line I learnt here and have used is 'I don't chase em, I replace em.' They get the message.

And I agree with Jariel, walkawayability is vital. They usually come back once you don't want them anymore.

Always remember there are thousands of better women out there.

Nice post Jariel.

I always like your posts - they're fresh and interesting!

This applies to me right now - Ive nexted this chick I met last weekend - flake alert!

Better than the AFC advice my friend gave me:

What?! Why did you delete her no.?! You're mad, you're never gonna get a girl at this rate! You shoulda left it til Valentines day and then text her saying happy valentines...

The above 'advice' is 100% truth.

This is just what I needed, like that song by the Cars.

I just got rejected by this girl for prom and thought I could keep gaming her with what little skills I had in my bag, but hey my energy could be spent somewhere else. I even hesistated to ask other girls to prom in the hopes that she might turn around and say yes to me out of nowhere. But I need to open my eyes and realize my role as the acceptor/rejector who has given her her chance. Time to next her...

Yes. An excellent technique to use on girls you've just met or the ones you're getting on with. To the ones you've just met, you give them the opportunity to redeem themselves just ONCE. Then you next them, it shows then you mean business.
To the ones you're getting on with or progressing along with, I like to use what I call the Next/freeze out technique. Subtly or directly , depending on the circumstances, let them know they did wrong. You don't have time to waste. If they like to play games, they will soon find out you don't take sh!t. If a girl's ultimately interested and cares for you, she will come around again.

This boils down to an economy that you have to employ. It can save you much effort by not bothering with girls that you'd not get along with anyways. Don't be like a dog that, when gets kicked in the face meekly comes back to the one who kicked it.


The most important thing you can gain from this is self-respect. Subconsciously the girl will most likely understand this and perhaps respect this, even if she ultimately rejects you.

I admit I've suffered for almost a year over an ex. The first part of the post really helped me.

I was pissed when she broke up with me. I thought how dare her because honestly I see myself as offering higher value than her.

But even so as I chased her after the breakup, even if the chasing was light and with alot of ****y and Funny (she recently called me conceited), I have been making it tough on myself.

Don't get me wrong I loved her and she was the only girl I've looked at rings with. Part of me truly believes I can get her back.

But they way we need to look at it is, I want a girl like Heather, or someone better.

And go out with as many girls, once you have a bit of a harem your esteem bounces back.

This is great for gaining true self respect, bump

There is another thing you can do to avoid having to NEXT a girl... FvckBuddy her. If I think a woman is going to be trouble, I would never enter into even a semi-relationship with her. I would never take her out anywhere. I think men would be surprised to find out how many women you can do this with, and they will keep seeing you.

Once you start taking her out and all that, you have to NEXT her if she gets out of line or your soul will suffer. Your state will become stinky mud. The solution to this problem is to get enough experience to know when to Fvck Buddy someone, and to not allow yourself to become attached at all. I keep a few of these women around in case I strike out. They can be used to dump your emotions on instead of annoying your main girls, and they provide sex.

IF a FB tries to talk about other guys or anything negative, I will instantely shut her up. If she gives me any problems whatsoever or lowers my state in any way, I'll stop seeing her immediatly. What I've found is that when a guy has a lot of options, the vibe you give off is so strong that your main girls will almost never display this kind of bad behavior.

Your state can also get too strong for some people, oddly enough. It will help you meeting new people, but it can turn off people who you've been seeing for a long time. When this happens you will become extremely forceful with your opinions and you will not be willing to consider other points of few. Your guy friends will start flaking on you or not be able to take your calls suddenly, and girls will seem to sink into a murky state around you.

Can relate to this 100% , nice post jariel.

Bump for the newbies getting trodden on by women.

cool tip for developing inner confidence!