The Dark Theory of Love (Dark Stylee)

People are funny, aren't they? All human beings are inherently selfish, very very few give money to charity or volunteer in soup kitchens (or whatever.) I don't do this kind of stuff, it's a good thing to do but I believe that the best thing I can do for humanity is to increase my own station, my own wealth, bear children and make the world a better place. If I spent my life helping the less fortunate they would still be poor and disadvantaged, and so would I.

Sorry, I'm getting off topic. The point is that there are two types of human relationships. Altruistic (and this is very rare) and selfish. In terms of romantic relationships, they can only be selfish.

There IS NO ALTRUSITIC ROMANCE, a beautiful woman doesn't marry a fat, stupid, poor man because he's a pathetic piece of crap and he NEEDS her. You will never hear yourself say "oh look at that fat ugly b!tch, if I don't marry her then nobody will," and if you did say that for some reason, it wouldn't be love or romance. Love is a feeling, when you are in love you feel good, it’s a perfect drug, a free high created by your own brain to facilitate sex, pair bonding, and raising children as a stable family. In a healthy relationship (even before actual ‘love’) you stay in it because it benefits YOU (sex, money, stability, she has a car, gives you a feeling) and she stays in it because it benefits HER (sex, money, stability, you have a car, you give her a feeling.)

Once the relationship has blossomed and become mature, it’s all about the feeling, AKA love, AKA the perfect drug. Nobody ever wrote a song “I got a girl, she drives me places. / I got a girl, she bought me a new watch. / I got a girl, she gives great head.” outside of gangsta rap (and society villifies these rappers because they discount ‘love’ aka the greatest drug in the world.)

How does this apply to you? Well if you’ve ever been in love with a girl who didn’t love you back, it was a gut-wrenching feeling, like somebody had stepped on your heart. Maybe she never wanted you, maybe she wanted you for awhile and things cooled off. GOOD NEWS! This is not love, because the definition of love is a GOOD feeling. You’re experiencing one or both of two things.

a) withdrawl, you were in love and now your brain isn’t giving you those great drugs, so you feel crappy.
b) You’re horny, but society has hyped love. You know you want something, so you think it’s love.

Furthermore, if you are in this mental state that you call love, and you say “I’m crazy about this girl, why doesn’t she love me back! She’s tearing my guts out I HATE her I LOVE her I HATE her I LOVE her!” you need to step out of your own head. She doesn’t exist to complete your life, she only lives in service of herSELF and so do you, so does everybody. And she’s worthless to you now because she makes you feel BAD and what is the point of that? You don’t want her, you want the FEELING that you believe she will create. There are lots of women who will give you that feeling if you give them a tiny chance.

The bottom line is:

People stay in all relationships because of direct personal benefits.
If you aren’t benefiting from a relationship you’re missing the point.
Love is a feeling, a drug that is free and readily available.
The most critical condition of your relationships should be how she makes you feel.

Aside

(aside)


Much of my perspective on love comes from Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I saw Francisco D'Anconia's name and it reminded me to make this post. The whole perspective of Atlas Shrugged is very individualistic and extremely American in nature, it's about competition and free enterprise, responsibility and personal merit. Part of the plot in Atlas Shrugged is about the relationship between Dagny, a female millionare railroad mogul, and Rearden, a male millionare steel baron. Both characters are ideal; wealthy, powerful, goodlooking, self-assured. They explicitly describe their relationship as inherently selfish, they are equals and that's what makes it a good relationship. At first they use eachother for sex, Rearden isn’t getting it at home, he calls dagny a *****. Dagny feels the same way, she’s horny and this man is her only equal. I recommend this book for a lot of reasons, and it isn’t even that long if you skip the speeches.

Everything in life is for rewards. People dont do stuff for nothing never. There is always some target. So is with love.