Zulu's Diary

Going Insane

Yep. I think I am going crazy. I have been contemplating if to post some of my recent experiences on this board, feeling that most of what I post will probably be redundant since so much has been said - but I will try to describe some of my encounters...I have gained a lot from this board and hope to contribute some useful info.

This is just an attempt to contribute – would continue this post based on your feedback.

Some Background

I am currently between two jobs - so I have plenty of time on my hands. I have mentioned in a previous post that I was dating a girl from my office building (Vanessa – HB8, early 20’s) and we broke up over a fight. That very same day I got a # at the gym from a (Stacey – HB8, mid-20’s) that I am seeing now.

But why am I going insane? Cause during the last couple of weeks my life has turned into a perpetual urge to fulfill my sexual desire, while at the same time trying to focus on my life goals and revive my true passions. Since I am at a major crossroad in regards to my career, there is this gigantic void in my life that is being replaced by my relationships with women. This is becoming some sort of obsession that is consuming my time and energy, but I am letting it get out of hand (for now) since I am trying to escape my current reality, until I start my new job. This is also a time that I am meditating about my life in general with the hope of finding some sort of all-encompassing answer.

Current Situation

I started dating Vanessa probably four months ago, and slowly but surely was turning into your average AFC. To make a long story short, three weeks ago we had one of our usual fights and I decided to quit being an AFC and put an end to that relationship. So I was back on the road to DJ land, talking to girls, getting back into the ‘Alpha’ zone.

Luckily, thanks to this website and other sources, I can approach most girls in most situations. In some occasions I can achieve a certain mental state that empowers me – makes me feel as if I can have any girl that I want. I have been in the so-called ‘zone’ on and off during the past two years (up until my 30’s I was your typical AFC) - I am not boasting, I had to work hard on my psyche in order to dissolve the ‘mental blocks’ that were preventing me from meeting new women.

So last week Vanessa, seeing that she is not getting her dose of attention from me, decided to try to ‘win me back’. So we met after work, and before I knew it I was kissing her again. Vanessa is young, hot and has the kind of physical characteristics that I love in a girl. Stacey, is not as sexy but is more beautiful and much more intelligent so I can interact with her on a personal level.

I only made up with Vanessa this week, and have been putting off our ‘make up’ date till tonight. Unfortunately I promised Stacey to see her tonight too so I will have to see how this works out. My plan is to go out with Stacey, then spend the night with Vanessa and spend more time with Stacey tomorrow.

I was also supposed to see Erin (Not So HB-6, mid 20’s) today – a girl that I used to have sex with on a regular basis six months ago – but it turned out to be too much to handle. I am sexually attracted to Erin but she is not as hot as Stacey or Vanessa so for now she is on ‘hold’.

I will keep you guys posted.

First of all, before I begin I must say that dating a couple of girls and pulling off all of those stunts is an impossibility (imho) if you are working full time. It's just too time consuming. As I have previously mentioned, I am currently between jobs so I have time on my hands. But it is getting really hectic.

Well - here is a quick recap of last night's events:

So first of all, I promised Stacey that I will meet up with her - and I did. We went out with a bunch of her friends and we had a good time. There was one HB8.5 at the bar that constantly kept EC'ing me, even though I was with Stacey. Luckily my friend, a fellow wingman, was around and I asked him to start some convo with her and find out were she works so that I can 'run into her' some time in the future.

Stacey really wanted me to go back home with her, but I promissed Vanessa that I will meet up with her too. So after we have some drinks I tell her that we will meet later on that night if she is not too tired - I have to drive my wingman home...

I really like Vanessa (physically) and this was an opportunity to get back in 'action'. So I go to Vanessa, pick her up and we head out for some drinks. She is now at the stage where she is a little hurt, and is reevaluating our situation. We have a great time talking and 'making up' and then I head over to her house. I feel as if she is going to give me the 'no sex tonight' attitude, so I turn the tables by making out with her unti she expects me to ask to go to her room - and then I just head home. She gives me that 'this is not fair' look, but I decide that this is the best way to go for now.

A side note on the above situation, and one of my guidelines:

If a girl tries to avoid sex during your makeout session - turn things around, don't let her seize control of the situation - but set the pace and quit before she does. She will want you so bad the next time you show up - you will not have to work at all.

(If you feel that she is changing her mind, and giving in to her sexual desires - then obviously go for it)

Another note: I waited too long with Vanessa - I should have seen her the night of our 'make up kiss'. Girls tend to think too much, the more they think - the more they try to rationalize why they should not have sex with you. I waitied too long, and then Vanessa started questioning the situation - remember, we broke up after a serious argument so it's very easy for the negative feelings to creep back into her mind.

So after my intense makeout session with Vanessa I head back to Stacey's house. We have sex and we fall asleep. By then I was exhausted.

When it rains - it pours:

This morning, waking up at Stacey's house, I get a call from Jessica (HB7.5) a gril I met at a club a couple of weeks ago - we played phone tag for a while, and I thought she was losing interest - but finally she calls and we set a date for tonight. I am also supposed to see Vanessa this afternoon, so I don't know how things will work out.

Another side note:

when you keep 'playing the field' you always have women who are willing to see you, therefore, you are never desperate and can act rationally.

For example, I would have probably tried to push for sex with Vanessa if she was the only girl on my list - which was the wrong thing to do. Since subconscioulsy I know that I have other girls to date, I am in no hurry to get into bed with any particular girl.

Also, when I meet new women, I am not desperate - and interaction is easy. Unlike my friends who are constantly staring at them as if they were readily available prey - I see them just as regular people. Just a few weeks ago, I was just like my friends ... a 'Desperate Hunter'.

You're doing well. I'm trying to get to that point myself but it's a challenge to say the least.

Originally posted by So Many Ways
You're doing well. I'm trying to get to that point myself but it's a challenge to say the least.

Click to expand...

I just have a lot of time on my hands now - so I am having fun. When I am busy working, things are different...I am not that easygoing with women since my mind is busy thinking of work.

if you put your mind to it, you can be whoever you want to be....I always thought it was impossible for me to approach women so easily - and used to envy a good friend of mine who had no trouble getting women. But I have decided to change, and once I made that decision I killed the AFC in me

I was busy this week - but here is the update.

Crazy Weekend

Sunday

So I wake up in Stacey's house and head home. I am exhausted from last night's events - I didn't anticipate driving back and forth so much - but it went as planned.

I head over to my house and call Vanessa and we plan to meet later that afternoon. Last night she was playing 'hard to get', and was a little hesitant and I was hoping that today I will rip the fruits of my labor - we dated for a few months, broke up, and now she is a little confused about the situation. I love having sex with her and that's my primary goal - to have unconditional sex.

So I head over to her house, we sit on the couch and we start to make out. I am expecting things to go smoothly this time, but she starts giving me the same attitude - she feels 'confused' and she doesn't think that it is 'good' if we have sex again. She doesn't want to go to the bedroom so we sit on the couch and watch a movie.

I decide to change my tactic - I start massaging her all over her body, and kissing her softly around her neck and stomach. Initially she tries to hold me back, but eventually submits. She gets aroused and we go into a 'rough' makeout session. That really turns her on, and I just pick her up while we are kissing and making out, and push her into her bedroom and throw her on her bed. Things get easier from there, and eventually we have incredible sex.

She just wanted me to take control - and I was afraid to do so. But once I did - it was easy to drag her into the bedroom and get what I wanted. Subconsciously she wanted to have sex with me - otherwise she would not have invited me over - but her conscious mind and other social conventions were interfering with her instinctual desires (that's my analysis - I am not a psychologist...)

When sex was over, we go out and get some dinner. She is suddenly so nice and understanding - and totally into me again. I have to go see Jessica - so I tell Vanessa that I have to go back home, and head out to my next meeting.

I call Jessica and we decide to meet at a bar close to her house. She is an older girl - unlike Stacey and Vanessa who are in their 20's, she is in her 30's. She is good looking, and we really get along. She is great to talk to and I just sit there and listen and have a great time. We hold hands the entire evening and she is really into me - keeps telling me that I am such a gentleman and the best date she has had in a while.

The funny thing is, that unconsciously I am starting to act 'the part' naturally. A couple of months ago I had to think of every single move I made, and now it's coming naturally to me. As they say - practice makes better...

I escort her to her car, we kiss, make out lightly and I tell her that I have to head home. I knew that there is no use trying to get into her bed the same night - I was exhausted from last night's events and wild sex with Vanessa, and she probably didn't want me in her house - just yet.

So I head home and go to bed.

Other events this Week

I head to Starbucks and sit down reading a book. I am in a business meeting in Boston and have to kill some time. There are some cuties in the area, but nothing special. Suddenly a group of 2 girls and a guy come in - one of them is really hot, a HB8, but she has an ass and legs to die for...I just can't stop looking at her.

I sit there reading my book, and looking over towards the table where she is sitting talking to her friends. It seems as if they are students that just came in for a late-night study. I want to head over and talk to her - but for some reason I just can't do it. I keep saying to myself 'Zulu - what's wrong? You are doing great this week - why can't you approach that girl?'

Sometimes the 'muse' leaves you without any apparent reason. You are dying to talk to that girl - she really turns you on - but you are stuck there in your sit, as if gravity is holding you down.

So before I head out of that place - I make a conscious decision - I decide that I will go and sit down next to those girls and start talking to them before I leave the store. What do I have to lose?

I head over and ask if I can sit next to them. Their guy friend has left the scene so they are totally accessible. We talk - I talk to both of them, but I concentrate more and more on the girl that I am interested in (Judy). After a while, I decide to head out - but luckily I ask for her phone number. She gives it to me and I leave. We talk on the phone the next day and we decide to meet next time that I am in Boston.

I usually don't call girls the next day - but I am visiting Boston, so I might as well try - I have enough going on at home.

I am sorry this is a long post - and I hope that you guys are interested - please let me know

Will keep you all posted

Please keep posting. I'd much rather read this than some other threads I've seen popping up around here.