Are you lonely?

I am.

Since I remember, I haven´t resembled people from my age group. Mind wise. I´ve always related to older people. The age gap between me and my ¨friends¨ has continuously grown.

When I first came to Sosuave, I felt in heaven. First, because of the information. Then, because of the people. People who were like me.

But now, it just doesn´t do it for me. Not even the Anything Else forum. Though, don´t get me wrong, I prefer being here than ...watching tv, talking to really average joe´s, etc.

I feel like if it´s like family, we´re really educated the same way, but we part ways.

As time passes, I see how different I am from people. And I get more different each day. People just don´t want to get better, grow. And I´m a very social person. I suppose that´s what affects me the most. I like company. I like talking. But I like to relate to people like me.

And I do my best to focus on myself. On my growth, in everyway I can. On succeeding everyday. Apparently, great minds, greaat people, have been/are lonely. But, man, I don´t want to be lonely. I would say, that, it shouldn´t have to be a woman who I coould relate to, I´d settle with a man-friend. But I won´t, I want a woman that I can relate to.

I was thinking. Is company, nothing more than company? Is a friend simply someone who loves you? Is a woman someone who is there for you, loves you, saatisfies you, is faithful. But nothing more? Not some kind of pseudo mirror.

Is this just a case of reality checkup? Have I just seen that when one grows, one grows apart, from people? And one should look for loyalty from friends, and from women, beauty, loyalty, but not a kind of brother?

I´ve grown. And continue to do so. Loneliness is not something I look forward to. But, it´d be better to be prepared, and know what to look for, (in life). If company IS nothing more than company, I choose to continue growing. Because if company is nothing but company... why should I want to be stop, go back, and get stuck with people who won´t make me better? I want to get better.

Pook (if you type Pook in your messages, Pook will look that message). And Pook being someone who I believe is greaat, surely has been throughh this.

I have always been different from everyone around me. It isnt that big of a problem, people normally just learn to enjoy my uniqueness or get the hell on. My thoughts, beliefs, and motivation have never been that of the common man. I find that ppl like me have to fake humility to get along in the world. Might be the whole meyers briggs INTP personality??

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Everyone thinks they're unique.

Y eah everyone does, but not everyone is unique.

I am unique! My mommy even told me so!:woo:




Laterz...

Originally posted by SamePendo
If company IS nothing more than company, I choose to continue growing. Because if company is nothing but company... why should I want to be stop, go back, and get stuck with people who won´t make me better? I want to get better.

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I am no psychologist, but my view is that this may be a dangerous way of thinking. We humans are genetically programmed to want, enjoy, need company from others. If this need is not fulfilled for long periods of time, it will harm you. You become mentally ill.
And if you want to continue growing as a person... isn't socialising itself a big part of self improvement? Can you become the perfect man without interacting with others...?

Originally posted by SamePendo
I am.

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When I first found this site, and started reading/changing, I felt this way. I felt like few other people know this stuff, and some of the immature guys I hung out with disgusted me. So, I ditched them.

There are times where you will not find any people you "click" with...and overall, it is difficult to find friends, let alone true friends. But, even my true friends are not so similar to me. Recently, I found out one of my best friends is gay, and the other one is a real chump. I do have other friends, but not as close to them as these two.

You'll never find anyone identical to yourself. You'll never find someone who is growing at the exact same rate. What you can do, however, is get to know lots of different people. You won't have everything in common with all of them, but a few things in common with each. And that's how you have a social circle...if you were all the same, hanging out wouldn't be fun.

For example, I love going to movies and clubs with my chump friend. It's just fun kicking back having beers and laughing about stuff with him. My (now) gay friend is actually a cool guy, and we walk together and discuss stuff like religion and current event issues. My other friends I like to play video games with. Other ones I like to play basketball with. You see, I have many interests, so I know many people.

Yes, there is a line from 48 Laws of Power that says:

"Never associate with those who share your defects. They will reinforce everything that holds you back."

But if you read on, Robert Greene continues to state...

"If you are sullen, seek out the happy. If you are shy, force yourself to befriend the outgoing. You're judged by your peers - make sure they have the qualities you want to develop."

Therefore, you should not be alone. I am not sure how old you are, personally, but you should be able to find people to keep you company. And, do not expect too much from another's company; it is not their job to keep you company or add value to your life. Friendship is mutual, so don't expect too much unless you are putting in as well.

I have felt alone before, but that was when I thought your friends should be just like you. Having become a lot more social person since finding this site, I have realized that your friends need not be like you, and that it is very unlikely to find someone that is...which is actually a very good thing.

So go out there and stop being lonely.
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edit: Although, I would like to hear what Pook would say to this...

I'm out there everyday interacting with people, cracking jokes and bringing smiles to the world. I have friends who are ALL different, but still I will always be some what lonely, my life experience is unlike anyone I know. I enjoy being a little odd.

:cheer: to all the odd pp :cheer:

Try to find people who ask the same questions you do, it seems to me that you are a deep person, try to find something deep thinking people flock to, something like philosophy for example?

I used to be lonely at times aswell, now I rarely am, I learned that you need different friends for different things, I have a really good friend I play video games with and talk to, after you have something you can hook up with, try to influence them to get them to do the other things you are interested in, the same buddy that I used to play videogames with is now my; workout buddy, videogame buddy, business contact, wingman and reading partner.

You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake.

First of all. Thankyou, all, very much.

I know, everyone thinks their unique. Teenagers are desperate to be so, they don´t see that as more ¨unique¨ and ¨different¨ they try to be, they are exactly more like everyone else. And this applies with all ages. I suppose that the reason I (suppose) am different is because I simply try to be more human, more man.

Three storm, you are absolutely right. I suppose part of my question is that, is the social part of my life really that impportant? I feel it´s very impotant, and give it a lot of importance, hence, I wrote this. I am a very social person, another reason this kind of loneliness hurts.

h20 right on.
I suppose you kind of reinforced my new perception-in-the-making about not expecting a world out of a companion. It´s not a bad thing. It sounds sad, but I suppose it´s kind of like realizing women aren´t all in life, they´re just another part of it. So, companion, just as women, aren´t all life has to offer. At the end of the day, we have ourselves,nothing more. And not loving ourselves, enjoying the company of others, among other things... is wrong.

SM (S&M?) I also enjoy being odd.

Reiki, I kind of got a same message from you and h2o. Get different friends to fill out different needs in the companionship realm? On highschool and down, I had always been a guy with one best friend. I am, as I said, very social..this multi-best-friends kind oof will be new to me... but I suppose doing this, having several friends for different stuff is the way to go. And the ¨hook¨ is interesting too.

Although, I suppose, this does not mean just hanging out with all the chumps/niceguys/etc in the world... just not looking for a ¨perfect¨ friend/companion?

Thankyou, very, very much. Whatever loneliness I feel, would be a world without you guys. Thankyou.


Oh.. by the way... Sexy Malibu is a ****ing *****.

I learned that you need different friends for different things, I have a really good friend I play video games with and talk to, after you have something you can hook up with, try to influence them to get them to do the other things you are interested in, the same buddy that I used to play videogames with is now my; workout buddy, videogame buddy, business contact, wingman and reading partner.

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great advice...

The inverse is also true...

We are all different things to different people.